Rose

When I got back from breakfast I put my mask up and got into fresh clothes, I went to get ready when I saw Duke in the hallway. I studied him for a minute. This was not good.

"Come here so I can get rid of the darkness, then we'll head to get things ready for today's lesson. If your parents are still there just ignore them." I nodded.

A week went by and I didn't dare talk to anyone, any time Duke insulted Dimitri, Eddie, Abe, or even Janine. I followed protocol. Eddie watched me with cool eyes.

I knew Duke was doing this because of me, he wanted them to throw the punch, he wanted me to fight them, he wanted me to insult them, he wanted them to punch him or me so I could take the pain. He wanted me to hurt on my own.

The whole week I kept my mouth shut and my emotions blank. Nights were still terrible and they only got worst. When the second week passed I hoped it would take me with it. We were half way through our visit and still it only got worse, everyone glared at me except for Eddie. Dimitri became really protective, the only thing that held him back was Eddie.

I stared at my calendar after making another x, 1 weeks left. Our lesson hurt more than usual today, my fist clenched, my stomach flipped, usually by now he would of come, but he didn't, he was testing me, he was done with me.

Instead of staying behind he left me standing there waiting with pain. Tears rolled down my eyes as I watched the room disappear, I was alone, this only happened once before, this meant I was to leave him alone and do as I wish, it was a break of a sort, but it wouldn't be fun, that was always his plan.

I graved a bottle of brandy and went to the gym. I brought three shot glasses and filled them up. It started with shot, beat a punching bag up, shot, beat another one up, shot, finish it up, shot, let the pain burn away your life, shot crumble down on yourself. Then I no longer cared.

I lay on the mat with a bottle in hand when the doors swung open. I no longer cared, I chugged down another sip, I stared at the new guest, they were laughing, and I was in the corner mat so they didn't see me at first.

"Janine lighten up, we've been doing this 2 weeks before you. Just do a couple of hits. Dimitri and Eddie promised to fight each other but they never got the chance, until now. Winner can go against Janine." They laugh.

"Abe doesn't just let his man take care of everything." Janine adds and they all laugh.

Abe wanted to show a couple of tricks to Mia while Eddie and Dimitri fought. I watched as Dimitri was still the god warrior I remembered, and Eddie was just as good, but not quite. I wanted to laugh, Dimitri was good, but some how I found it sort of boring, Duke wanted me to have extra training after all.

Janine and Dimitri did end up fighting, I thought of all the things I would have said. Dimitri ended up pinned down, hand behind his back. Janine got up unlocking his hand. I watched and then I decided I was done watching.

"I'd like to go against you Guardian Hathaway." Everyone's laughing halted as I stood up, the bottle was hidden in my gear bag. They all looked me up and down. Tasha rolled her eyes.

"Why aren't you with Duke?" She asks. I shrug.

"Got bored of this place, it isn't like Denmark, where the Danish accident happened. So I thought I might get reacquainted with the place I used to call home. So is that a yes or no to going against me?" I ask trying to change the subject. Eddie raises and eyebrow and I shrug.

"Alright, come on." She says and I jump up ready for anything. She throws the first hit, I did a dangerous move that takes someone months to master, and hurts during the whole process.

Her punched the side and went passed my arm and I touched her elbow under my underarm and pulled her so my other fist went into her stomach, then I twisted and in a swift move pulled her down hand behind back tight.

They were all staring at me wide eyed. I realized I used a different move, I let her go stepping back. I nodded. Her eyes were locked with mine wide.

"How did you learn that move, we don't teach it anymore, it's too dangerous for anyone? Tell me who taught you that move." She demanded.

"It wasn't Duke, it was a Strigoi, stabbed him in the stomach with my stake, missed the heart and he used that move on me. Then he stabbed me with the same stake. I survived, but it hurt, a lot. That was the Danish accident." I giggle.

They were missing the biggest detail; I died after he threw me at the mantle. Their breath all caught.

"Rose, see, that never would of happened if you were here with us, you would of never of gone to Denmark, you would have been here with me. We understand why you left, but you can come back, you always will be." Lissa says, with hope in those eyes.

"I'll never forget what happened that day, Lissa. Eddie says you forgot what the last words you said to me were, Dimitri. I remember perfectly, love fades, mine has. I remember every bit of that day, including my best friend pushing me away, and all my other friends acting like what happened to Dimitri was a tragedy. You know Dimitri, I thought you were strong, but in truth your spoiled rotten." I say with venom.

Everyone stares at me with wide eyes. I relax though, 2 years and 3 weeks I'd been waiting to say those words. Waiting for him to here what I thought, Lissa was mad now, she saw how much that hurt Dimitri, but I already knew.

"How could you say that, your spoiled rotten, just because he breaks your heart, doesn't mean you know what pain is. Dimitri was a Strigoi for 6 months, something you'll never understand. Your just being a drama queen not saying a word so everyone will petty you, then Dimitri will leave Tasha and come back to you." She hisses. I laugh non humorously.

"Right, I'll never understand what it means to be a Strigoi for 6 months, I will never understand what it is to have an angel look into my soul, I left because I was doing it for fun. That's right, being a drama queen, sounds perfect, go head and call me a drama queen Lissa, you know why, because I don't care anymore. I went to Duke to get you out of my head. Because I hate you. I still do, if it weren't for you I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be…" I sob hard.

Eddie ran to me and held me tight. I couldn't care less what happened next.

"Rose, your drunk, snap out of it, you're not completely sober. Rose, they don't understand, just tell them, there your parents, we've always been your friends, we never judged Dimitri, we're not going to judge you. We've never judged you. Just come on back. This secret is too big for just you and that scam." He reassures me.

"I can't tell them, I'm scared to, the queen was sickened by me, you were scared for that brief moment, he thinks he has control over me for these reasons. I still want Dimitri, but he won't want me, none of them will. Why me?" She whispers into my chest. I rub her back.

"Forget that day ever happened, what about the old us, before anything happened to Dimitri, before we even knew about that, go back to those us, you'd never hide a secret this big from those us. Pretend we're beck at the academy, and your talking with your friends and trainer.

"Alright, I'll tell them, you all should sit down." I blink back the tears and sit down on the mat pulling my bag out and pouring a shot when I need it.