Disclaimer: hahahahahahaha… I'm so old. You know the score.

Notes: Duo keeps getting distracted. Heero knows what feelings are. Trowa is frustrated.

Song: Lady Gaga ft. Beyoncé - Telephone

Boy, the way you blowin' up my phone

Won't make me leave no faster

Put my coat on faster

Leave my girls no faster

I shoulda left my phone at home

'Cause this is a disaster

Callin' like a collector

Sorry, I cannot answer

Eldritch Holiday

By Doctor Megalomania

Stop callin'

Stop callin'

I don't wanna think anymore

I got my head and my heart on the dancefloor

Chapter 11 – Don't wanna think anymore

Duo pulled on his watch, glancing at it. The nervousness he felt at checking the time was offset by the excitement he felt. In all honesty, he had been expecting pirates. He'd figured he and Quatre would stay up a few nights, do some digging around, come to the honest-to-god conclusion she'd been kidnapped by pirates, fight the pirates, rescue the professor and come home with a rip-roaring tale of derring-do. He shrugged on his coat and glanced out the window. Their room overlooked the street; there was a billboard blocking the wider view of the town but he could see the crossroad. A gaggle of nuns were walking across the road, some carrying shopping bags. One carried a paper bag, full to the brim. His eyes lingered on the nun with the paper bag. She paused on the other side of the road. Just for a moment. Standing almost like a statue. Duo wanted to slide his eyes off her, but got stuck wondering why she was so still.

She adjusted her bag, and then moved on.

He blinked and was oddly relieved to look away. Heero was behind him, buckling on his holster. His crisp shirt did little to hide his shoulders as they moved. Duo blinked, looking off to the side. He realised how frequently he paid attention to how Heero's muscles moved, it was a rush to realise he was allowed to enjoy it now. He'd always enjoyed the look, but couldn't ever quite bring himself to store the memory. Store it for use later. His eyes slid back to Heero who was shrugging on his own coat. Found himself biting his lower lip, feeling a little warm now. He could save this memory for later, could keep it. Get off to it. Could have Heero there to get off with him. It was tempting now, they could skip breakfast. Get their clothes off.

"Duo?"

Duo dragged his eyes up to meet Heero's dark blue eyes. He swallowed. "Yup."

Heero's lips played with a smirk, "Are you okay?"

"Yup." Duo licked his lips, aware his face was feeling traitorously warm. "Just thinkin' about how strong you are." Glancing away, he stuck his hands into his pockets and rocked on his feet. "Just thinkin' how I'm allowed to enjoy how strong you are." He looked at Heero as the other man moved forward to place his hands on Duo's hips. "Just thinkin' I'm allowed to look at you."

"You've always been allowed to look."

"Not in my head." Duo admitted quietly, "In my head, I had to remind myself that you and Relena were gonna get back together."

Heero didn't say anything, his eyes intense as they roved Duo's face. Duo wasn't sure what it meant, until Heero pushed forward into a hard kiss. His hands tightened on Duo's hips, pulling his body close. Duo wrapped his arms around Heero's neck, allowing himself to wind a hand into the back of the mess of Heero's hair.

They kissed slowly, exploring each other. Duo wondered if he could memorise this moment. Have it saved away. Keep it forever.

Heero's head was warm, his tongue hot. Their lips mashed together, and it was not quite perfect, but he smiled at the thought of enjoying the practice. Heero's hands tightened, fingers digging into his hips, pulling at him. It almost hurt. Duo felt his heart beat harder at the sensation of Heero losing control. Skipping breakfast was okay. More than okay.

There was a knock at the door and they reluctantly separated.

They stared at each other, and Duo thought he could get lost in Heero's dark blue eyes, heavy with want. He licked dry lips, and felt a thrill of excitement as the motion drew Heero's eyes, and he pulled at Duo's hips unknowingly. Heero's eyes flicked up again. Duo wasn't sure what thoughts were going through Heero's mind, but his own eyes flickered shut in anticipation as he saw Heero lean in again.

The knocking at the door was less patient.

Heero took a deep breath, took a step back, took his hands back and clenched them. He swallowed, closed his eyes and visibly brought himself back under control. "Later." He ground out. "We're going to finish this later."

"Uh huh." Duo raised a hand to touch his mouth, he smiled. "Oh yeah, definitely later."

Nodding once hard, Heero went to the door and all but wrenched it open. Wufei was stood there, arms folded. Riko was behind him, standing on tip toes to subtly sneak a peek into their room. Duo grabbed a bag and joined them at the door. "Are we going for breakfast?"

"Anything strange happen to you so far?"

"Uh. Nothing massively out of the ordinary?" Duo shrugged, he caught sight of Trowa and then checked his watch. "Though it has been at least an hour since Jules last contacted either of us. Does that count?"

Trowa held up a middle finger.

After breakfast, they left the hotel and walked out onto the street. Riko had identified where her aunt had been and they compared it against the information they had from Howard. They'd established that this weird little town had been the last place before Leighton's site that they could reliably place Matsumi, she'd mentioned the train station and the docks. Reluctant to split up just yet, they walked together towards the café where they'd been told by hotel staff that they could get a more reliable internet signal. Once on the street, they paused to get their bearings. Duo stuck his hands in his pocket and looked up at the advertisement billboard. The woman in the picture was turned, her face in profile over the slogan 'Looking for purpose here?'. The advertisement appeared to be for coffee, though what a woman standing in a field of red flowers had to do with coffee was anyone's guess.

Beyond the billboard, the rest of the town seemed fairly average. There was a church down the road, dark and foreboding. Utterly out of keeping with the rest of the town, the massively dark church seemed boarded up and shut down. "Oh yeah," he said to himself, "We're definitely going there. Hey Wufei!" He reached out to tap the man's arm, "Look at that. We're definitely going there."

"No, we're not. It's old and boarded up." Wufei rolled his eyes, "Heero?"

Heero was looking intensely at a map on his phone, flicking a glance up at the church, before saying distractedly, "Church has no strategic or tactical advantage. It's unlikely to be useful."

"Yeah, but man, look at it." Duo gestured it with both hands, "It looks right."

Wufei shook his head and turned his attention to his tablet. "Nope."

"Y'all gonna have to say I was right later." Duo stuck his hands back into his pockets petulantly. His eyes followed a bird that launched itself from the church to fly over the billboard towards the hotel. His eyes glanced off the billboard, leaving him momentarily confused. Only the back of the woman's head was visible, she was staring off into the sunset. He blinked. "Huh."

Someone tapped his elbow, and he turned around. Quatre held up a map. "I think we've got it figured out. The café is this way." He pointed down the street, away from the creepy church.

"Let's go," Heero strode forward, checking the road twice before crossing.

Happiness' town centre was a sweet port place, with wide roads and small independent shops. They passed a number of family owned businesses. Most of the occupants were helpful though stand-offish. They walked pass another church, this one bright and open. Duo paused for a moment, looking through the open double doors. A nun passed, pausing for a moment as she swept the area with a broom. He blinked and carried on walking, jogging slightly to catch up with the others. He glanced over his shoulder one last time, catching sight of the nun out on the steps, sweeping in long hard movements. He shook his head, and bumped into Heero.

"Are you okay?" Heero moved a hand to touch his back, a shade of concern in his voice.

"Just… been a while since I've seen a nun I guess." Duo raised a hand to fiddle with his hat for a moment. "Seems a bit old fashioned."

"Hn." Heero replied, "There are many places on Earth which seem to retain old traditions."

"I know, man." Duo smiled, "Just getting distracted."

He felt an urge to look over his shoulder and was weirdly certain if he looked, the nun would still be there. He resisted the urge. As they walked further, it got stronger. He glanced down and took a hold of Heero's hand.

The urge faded.

Heero glanced at him, an eyebrow vaguely quirked but a small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

The café was busy, but they could pull together two tables to make enough space for the whole group to sit down. Heero took out his laptop, Riko brought out her small device and Wufei connected his tablet. Trowa got up to buy a round of drinks when all of the pilots' phones began updating with messages from Jules. Riko shifted her seat while he was up to sit next to Wufei. She glanced at his tablet, looking at his notations and his map. Riko pursed her lips. She reached forward and tapped a notation. It expanded with a couple of emails from her aunt to Howard.

"Oh my god, Mike Howard?" She smiled doubtfully, "You know him?"

"He helped me hide during the war," Duo laughed, "Basically my earth dad down here."

She blinked, her expression doubtful. "That old sea dog?"

"Built the Tallgeese." Heero added dourly. "Commanded the Peacemillion. A vital asset during the war."

She swung her head around to look at him, "Nah."

He frowned and looked at her, "He's a masterful mobile suit builder."

"He's a drunk old man on a shitty rusty boat." She raised a hand, disbelievingly, "He wears awful Hawaiian print. Are we talking about the same Howard?"

"Hey!" Duo sat up, mildly offended, "That shitty rusty boat was my home for the first half of the war. That man is a tactical genius!"

"Now, I know you're shitting me. He visited my auntie once and lost his boxers to her neighbour on a bet. They've been stitched into a flag, and it flies above the garden." Riko sat back and folded her arms, "The more I learn about you guys, the less impressed I get." She snorted to herself, muttering sarcastically, "Howard's a tactical genius. Hah!"

Trowa arrived with a tray of drinks, six cups, a jug of milk and a handful of both sugar and sweetener sachets. The pilots all looked at him quizzically, and he tipped his head towards Riko. Riko watched as they all nodded once, reached forward and picked up a cup. They left her the closest one, while each sipping their drinks.

"Do you have any fucking idea how fucking creepy you all are?" Riko pushed herself backwards into her seat. "I mean like, what was that?"

"What was what?" Quatre asked, perplexed. "Why are we creepy?"

"You just all took a drink, but he didn't tell you which one was yours. And what was that whole nodding thing?"

"Ah." Wufei leant forward, as if it was easy to explain their exchange. "He didn't know how you take yours."

"We've been drinking coffee together for almost a decade." Quatre smiled and shrugged, "You kinda learn how everyone takes their drink."

"And the silent conversation?" Riko moved to pick up her drink, ignoring the milk and sweeteners for a single sachet of sugar.

"We were the most wanted terrorists on the planet for a while." Wufei shrugged, "You learn to communicate without speaking."

She paused as she brought her drink to her lips, and looked at him. "That's… really fucking…" She closed her eyes, "Of course you do." She sipped her drink and straightened herself out. "Of course you do."

Heero sat forward, flattening his laptop so all could see his screen. "Shall we get started?"

Trowa jammed his hands in his pockets to hide how hard he was clenching his fists. Duo and Heero didn't need to know how angry he was. His phone kept buzzing in his back pocket, reminding him of his mistake. With Quatre, Riko and Wufei searching the train station for signs of Professor Matsumi, Trowa, Heero and Duo were going to the docks to ask about for her. As they walked along the road to the docks, Trowa took the time to think. Process, really. Seriously understand how he felt. Quatre had deflected neatly most of the time, but it was hard for him to keep up the facade. Quatre had seemed so... frustratingly happy and normal.

Despite what he'd said, he had completely reverted to the way he used to be without Trowa. Trowa swallowed and watched his feet moving for a moment. Quatre had been happy before they'd fallen in love. Almost carefree. It had been after the war, and their relationship had started to buckle under the strain of being very suddenly adults with responsibilities and families and jobs. Trowa would have rather just given it all up, gotten a new name and start a new life. Quatre had been the one to struggle on in the full force of the new world order.

His phone started buzzing again, reminding him once again of how stupid he'd been.

Quatre had wanted a real connection, wanted Trowa to occasionally actually say the words back. Wanted to be sure that one morning a week they'd make time to have a cup of tea together. Quatre hadn't wanted to be in every aspect of his life, be the reason behind every decision. Quatre had just wanted to be a part of his life.

Trowa could see that now. Years after the fact. He'd felt suffocated then but it was nothing compared to the relationships he'd had afterwards. Where Quatre had simply understood, others had not. Jules refused to understand.

His phone stopped for a few moments.

Jules wanted to be in every thought in every moment and didn't understand that Trowa didn't want that. He raised his eyes and stared at the sky for a moment, regretting once again that Jules' uncanny resemblance to Quatre had been the real reason. Bright blue eyes, golden hair, a charming love of delicate shades of pink. Trowa's shoulders drooped, a chill passing through him. He'd used Jules, set aside his more repugnant characteristics, ignored his friends; all so he could un-focus his eyes and make love to someone who wasn't Quatre. Try to recapture that glorious love he'd walked away from, trying to build a new relationship with someone who just got him.

His phone began buzzing again.

Calling Quatre had been out of the question; his pride wouldn't let him bow and scrape, but he should have. He understood that now. He should have called; then maybe he-

He walked into the back of Duo.

"Whoa!" Duo rocked with the contact, tossing over his shoulder, "You alright?"

"Thinking." Trowa replied, voice low. "Sorry."

Something in his voice must have given him away; Duo turned and tilted his head. "But are you all right?"

"No." Trowa admitted, looking away. "Quatre being here is harder than I'd like to admit."

Duo touched his elbow, glancing at Heero. "We're here for both of you."

Trowa nodded, not quite able to meet their eyes. Knowing he'd see their pity and their compassion. "I know." He admitted, "I just wish..." He paused and sighed, "I wish I could fix it."

"Buddy." Duo said sympathetically, "You will if you want it. But you gotta give him some space, gotta give yourself some space. You gotta tell each other the actual fuckin' truth for once."

"He's angry about Jules."

"Wouldn't you be," Duo shrugged as if it should have been obvious, "If he turned around to reveal he'd basically got himself a Trowa Barton sexdoll?"

Trowa's shoulders slumped and Heero frowned at Duo. Duo blinked. "What?" He shrugged, "It's true." He raised a hand to scratch the back of his head, "I'm not really good with this kinda thing..." He looked around, "I'm gonna go see if someone's seen the professor." He looked at Heero, "Maybe you can do the whole 'feelings' thing better?"

As Duo wandered into the reception area of the nearest port building, Heero shook his head, "You need to talk to Quatre. It will help him to understand your motivations." Heero paused, dark blue eyes flicking down; he pursed his lips for a moment as if not sure what he would say next would be welcome. He finally sighed and looked up again. "He will forgive you."

"Do you have evidence?"

"He blew you up once. He could have killed you. It broke him out of his psychotic episode and he sobbed for days while he thought you were dead. You have broken his heart and it is years later, and yet it still affects him to the point where every day he cannot fulfil his chosen role because his thoughts still linger with you." Heero's dark blue eyes shifted as if he was going to look behind him, but he quickly stopped himself. "I recently found myself in a similar situation, when I realised I couldn't go another day without explaining my feelings. If you both still love each other, then perhaps you can find a way back to each other."

Trowa let himself breathe out slowly. "I didn't think you were getting back together with Relena."

"I'm not." Heero frowned as if confused. "Quatre will forgive you. Just tell him the complete truth." He glanced over his shoulder, "We should catch up with Duo. I'm not comfortable being separated from him."

"This is a weird place." Trowa nodded, "But don't worry. I've been watching him through the window."

"I know. I would still rather not be separated from him." Heero turned away and walked towards the reception area, pulling his phone out to glance at the screen. He answered it promptly, "Yes Quatre? Yes. Yes, they are. No, we haven't—Understood, we'll meet you there."

Trowa followed, forcing himself to unclench his fists and take them out of his pockets.

Feeling his phone buzz again, he pulled it out and braced himself to look at the masses of messages from Jules.

There was only one message from Jules.

One message that stopped him dead.

He will never forgive you.