A/N: Chapter title: "Whispers in the Dark" by Skillet.

We finally get to see things from Boromir's perspective in this one! I'll be honest, I'm excited to dig deeper into his character, but nervous because it's new territory. Let me know if you guys think I did a good job! :) Happy reading!

Innocence & Instinct: Chapter Twelve

-Boromir-

It was only our second day traveling through the mines, but it may as well have been months. These caves were tombs of the past, an unsettling reminder of what Sauron's forces could do. Every breath I took was heavy with dust and the stench of death. It seemed like an endless expanse of twisting, turning, rocky tunnels, with a few staircases and rickety bridges thrown in here and there. It was not right for us to be trapped down here, slinking through the dark like a band of petty criminals. I disliked Moria, and was in no mood to feign happiness for the sake of the others. It had become obvious to me we should've taken a different path.

No one else seemed brave enough to openly speak of their discomfort, however. In fact, Kathryn was the only one who ever even discussed it with me for very long. She was quite guarded when speaking with most of the others, I noticed - careful to maintain a composed, almost aloof exterior much of the time. The only moments in which she showed her true colors were when she was with Erin, or sometimes the elf, or myself. It was clear she was not one to show her vulnerabilities to strangers easily, which I respected her for. Kathryn was a smart woman, and I was glad to have her as a traveling companion. She was uncertain about many things, I knew (herself included), but I sensed a strong will deep within her heart to do what was right. It was not hard to imagine her doing great things someday, once she found her courage.

Above all else, though, I enjoyed seeing her interact with the hobbits. She had grown fond of them on our journey, especially Merry and Pippin. Many times she would engage them in conversation, only for it to dissolve into a senseless argument between the two while she and I watched from the sidelines in amusement. She even taught them a number of simple games to play when they had nothing else to entertain themselves with, games that I had never even heard of. One game in particular had become a common one in our group, which, on days like today, we played to pass the time as we walked.

"Okay, best two out of three," Kathryn challenged, glancing at the three of us with a smirk as she raised a fist. "Ready? Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!"

The two halflings each placed a hand inwards, and Merry gave a quiet shout of triumph, earning him a short glare from Gandalf. "Ha! Gotcha, Pip!"

"No you didn't!" the younger hobbit protested. "I've got rock!"

"Yes, and paper beats rock!" Merry grinned. "See? That's the rules!"

Pippin turned to Kathryn with an expectant look, and she merely shrugged. "Sorry, Pippin, he's right. Paper beats rock."

"But how?" Pippin frowned. "I think a big mighty rock like that could tear through any piece of paper."

"I don't make the rules," Kathryn replied. "That's just how the game works."

She counted off the hobbits again for round two, and I smiled as Merry once again defeated Pippin with scissors against paper. "You know, Pippin is right. It makes no sense for paper to beat rock."

"Yeah, I know," she admitted. "Never really got that as a kid."

I laughed. "And why do you call them 'scissors' anyway?"

"Because 'Boulder, Parchment, Shears' isn't as catchy," she said. "It ruins the whole game."

I looked at her curiously, shaking my head. "Laketown certainly has stranger dialect than what I've ever heard."

"It's best to just not think about it too hard," she advised. "That's how I get by."

I gave a wry smile. "Perhaps if I was not of a noble house, that would be easier to do. In most cases, it's my job to think too hard about things."

She laughed. "True. I'm certainly not jealous of your responsibilities back home." There was a brief pause in our conversation, and it went quiet, as Merry and Pippin had run further ahead. "Do you ever just...want to forget all your responsibilities?" she then asked. "Just, like, run away from them completely?"

I sighed. "Yes. Sometimes, when I was younger, I would hate being the son of the Steward."

She looked surprised at the comment. "Really?"

I nodded. "I thought it was awful. I hated always having to fix problems, or sit in meetings, or fight in battles I didn't want to be a part of... Sitting through lectures from my father on what it meant to be a good leader bored me to death. But then, as I grew older, I realized why it was all so important."

"Why?"

I smiled to myself, memories of my brother and father coming to mind. "Because of who I'm protecting," I said quietly. "I learned that there was purpose to everything my father ever taught me. It was for the safety of what I loved. He taught me everything I needed to know to be able to protect my people, my city...to protect him, to protect Faramir..." I paused. "That was when I realized what I was fighting for." I turned to look at her. "The one thing I learned above all else was that it's not about the actual fighting. Fighting is raw and painful, and your sword can't save you on its own every time; you've got to work to make it do what you want it to. It's hard. You can't love a sword - swords break. But loving what the sword defends makes everything worth it in the end."

Kathryn looked back at me with a small smile on her face. "That's...really beautiful, actually." She faced forward, stepping over a large rock in her path. "And it makes sense, you know? I feel like if your only reason for fighting is to kill people, then you're not doing it right. Anyone can be a war captain, but I think it takes a lot more to be a good man on top of that."

"A good man makes a great captain," I agreed, repeating a motto I'd heard a thousand times as a boy. "I've never fought for myself or my own glory. I do it to keep my people safe. That's always been my motivation."

"And I bet you're the greatest captain Minas Tirith has ever seen because of it."

I smiled. "Thank you, Kathryn. I think you could be a great warrior as well one day."

At that, her eyes widened. "You're kidding, right? Boromir, let's be more realistic with our goals."

I chuckled. "You have a good heart, Kathryn. Anyone can learn how to hold a sword, that's the simpler half of it."

"What the fuck is a sword?"

Our Fellowship reached a steep set of stairs, and I glanced back at her with a raised eyebrow as we began to climb. "Your sarcastic wit, unfortunately, will not save your life on a battlefield."

She snapped her finger, disappointed. "Damn. And here I thought I had the complete package."

I laughed, continuing our ascent. She did have a point, of course - I had not seen her skills in combat yet, and it was definitely an important skill to have in times of war. But truly, I did believe Kathryn had great potential. She reminded me of Faramir in that way. Quiet, and somewhat doubtful of herself, but still strong. A different kind of strength, like that of a dark storm rumbling over the horizon. Her time will come, I thought to myself, and someday Kathryn will defeat her greatest evil. I am sure of it.

–

-Erin-

I let out a gruff exhale as I hoisted myself over another chunk of fallen pillar blocking our path. As I crawled to the other side, I felt my nails drag across the rock in a way that made my gut twist, and I cringed as I righted myself. Sure enough, two of them had just been torn, their edges now ragged from scraping against stone. I growled, knowing it would annoy me to no end until I had the chance to file them down. "Is nothing sacred?" I asked myself, hoping the next two days would pass quickly.

Moria wasn't turning out to be the highlight of my journey, needless to say. I was tired, grumpy, and quite fed up with almost everyone in the Fellowship, myself included. Maybe it was because I knew nothing good came of this place. Maybe it was just because I didn't like being trapped in a dark, smelly cave. I didn't know, and I didn't care. All I wanted was out so we could reach Lothlórien and take a break from the insanity this quest brought on.

If I was going insane, however, I blamed it entirely on the blonde elvish prince in our party. At first, when the incident at the Moria gate had gone down, I hadn't known how to react. I'd been so confused, and shocked, and... God, I couldn't even describe it, really. I mean, what do you do when your incredibly attractive best friend attempts to kiss you out of nowhere? Had he been trying to kiss me? If not, then what the hell was his goal? The more I thought about it, the more I freaked myself out. I wanted answers, and so help me God, I was determined to get them one way or another.

But of course, this was the time the elf decided to start being difficult. Ever since we'd set foot in Moria, he'd been avoiding me. He no longer looked me in the eye when we spoke - if I was lucky enough to even get him to talk to me - and seemed set on putting as much physical distance between us as possible. If I took two steps towards him, he took four backwards. And what was I supposed to make of it? Was he mad at me? Did he think I'd been the one trying to kiss him out there? Had I embarrassed him? I had so many questions, but Legolas was adamant on leaving them unanswered, apparently. And frankly, it was making me beyond frustrated with him. Stupid elves and their stupid passive aggressive vagueness. Why am I the one who has to deal with this shit?

And then, if that wasn't enough, there was this weird business with Kathryn to consider. Honestly, I'd been shocked to hear her talking about changing up the timeline in the future. She'd never brought it up to me before, so why now? I suspected it was because of how close she'd gotten with Boromir...but I didn't really want to believe it. Surely she understood how important his death was to the original Lord of the Rings story. There was no way we could save him. Boromir absolutely had to die, period. To think Kathryn was getting any ideas of doing things differently was concerning. I worried about her enough already, often questioning whether or not I was right to drag her into this adventure with me. It was dangerous, both physically and mentally, and I felt like Kathryn was only just now beginning to understand the latter's effects. I loved her dearly, and the last thing I wanted was to put her through something she couldn't handle. But I also didn't want to leave her behind while I went running across Middle-Earth again, especially in a time like this. It might've been selfish, but part of me didn't care. She was my best friend, and I wanted her by my side.

So, with all of this rattling around in my head, I was definitely not having a grand old time down in the mines. As the second day came and went without much incident, I wondered why everything had so suddenly taken a turn for the worse. I'd been so happy when we'd first started out, I thought, staring up into the darkness that night as I tried to fall asleep. What went wrong? is it my fault?

Man, I hope this doesn't end in complete disaster.

–

The next time I was woken up, it was by Pippin, who despite the depressing atmosphere of the mines had lost none of his spunk. "Erin! Gandalf says we're leaving!"

I groaned and rolled over, blinking at the hobbit drearily. "Morning, Pip."

He tilted his head. "Is it morning? How can you tell?"

"I can't," I admitted. "Just a lucky guess. Thanks for getting me up." As the young redhead left, I hoisted myself to my feet, briefly wondering how long it had been since I'd slept in a real bed. I'd sort of gotten used to a permanent ache in my back by now, and expected it would be there until this journey was over. After rolling up my blanket, I stretched, walking up to Kathryn just as she finished off her breakfast. "Hey."

She glanced up, smirking at my disheveled appearance. "Hey there, hot stuff. Glad you decided to finally join the rest of us."

I lightly smacked her shoulder. "Oh, hush. There's no one important down here to see us. At this point, even if makeup existed in this world, I don't think I'd have the energy or patience to put it on."

"Yeah, me neither, probably." Then her voice softened, and she stood up to get a bit closer to me. "Is today the day we reach the Orcs?"

I shook my head. "No. That'll be tomorrow." At my response, I noticed her slightly tense expression, and laid a hand on her shoulder in comfort. "Don't worry about it too much, okay? You'll be fine. If worst comes to worst, you can stick by me and I'll protect you."

She nodded, but slowly. "I know. I'm just...well, you know this is my first real time fighting anything. Even though I know what to expect, it doesn't make things any easier."

"Yeah, I get that," I said. Then, seeing a chance to lighten the mood, I smiled. "Look at it this way. Even if you get a little scraped up, you'll heal quick. You've got the immune system of a bear, dude."

She shot me a quizzical look. "Do they even have good immune systems?"

I paused. "...You know, that's a good question."

We both laughed, sticking together as we packed up our things and prepared to leave. Within fifteen minutes, we were on the move again, continuing our trek through Moria (or "The Mines of Misery," as I had dubbed it). Gandalf, of course, led the group as he always did, with Legolas walking right behind him. He was followed by Gimli, Sam, Frodo, Merry, and Pippin. Boromir came next, and then Kathryn and I, with Aragorn bringing up the rear. We walked for quite awhile, making casual conversation amongst ourselves to pass the time and make the walking more bearable. At one point, we hit a tall, steep flight of stairs we were to climb as my dark-haired friend and I were in a particularly heated conversation about Star Wars.

I started heading up, glancing down as she followed behind me. "Look, don't hate me, okay? I just never had the time."

"How do you not have time for Star Wars?" Kathryn exclaimed. She'd been a huge fan ever since I'd first met her back in high school, and had never forgiven me for not watching them. "You always talk about how much you love movies, but you haven't seen Star Wars? They're iconic!"

"I had every intention of seeing The Force Awakens in theaters. It just...didn't actually work out."

"Do you even know what happens in those movies?"

"Of course I do!" I said. "What kind of heathen would I be if I didn't even know the basic plot?"

"Okay, then do you have a favorite character? That's the most important thing." She paused. "Please tell me it's Rey; that'll make me so much happier."

A devious smirk appeared on my face as I climbed further ahead. "Oh, I have a favorite all right. I mean, he's like...the obvious choice. Probably the single greatest character to ever grace the silver screen."

"Who is it?"

I grinned down at her. "Jar Jar Binks."

Kathryn's face twisted into one of disgust, and I laughed as she chucked a pebble at my head. "Don't insult me, Erin."

"Jar Jar is a Sith Lord," I whispered. "Darth Jar Jar."

"Shut the hell up!" I laughed again. That theory will never get old.

As I continued to torture Kathryn with heinous Star Wars blasphemy, we arrived at the top of the staircase, and the line suddenly stopped. I pulled myself up over the edge, seeing Gandalf standing in front of a path split into three parts: left, middle, and right. Each one was begun by a stone archway carved into the wall and led to a staircase twisting down into the earth far below. You couldn't really see where they were headed, nor was there any indication of which route led to the exit. It was a familiar crossroads to me, but the wizard simply stared at them for a moment in silence. We all gathered around him, waiting in anticipation, until he finally spoke in a hesitant whisper. "...I have no memory of this place."

So what did we do? We stopped and sat. Our little band of eleven spread out across the rocky location, making use of what little space there was as we passed the time. Gandalf sat on a high ledge just above the rest of us, staring intently at the fork in our path, eyes constantly flicking back and forth between the three routes. The rest of us were crowded together on the small landing at the top of the stairs, willing to give the wizard his space as he became lost in thought. Aragorn and Boromir sat on the top step, smoking their pipes in silence. Merry, Pippin, and Kathryn were directly behind the two men, attempting to entertain themselves as we waited. I was perched above them on a flat slab of rock jutting out from what looked like a collapsed pillar, and Sam sat at my feet, dozing off. Frodo and Legolas stood off to the side, both staring out at the wide expanse of blackness stretched out before us. A long, heavy silence hung over our group as we settled down, waiting for some sort of signal from Gandalf to press on. It was maddening, though I was grateful for the occasional whispers from the hobbits to distract me.

"Are we lost?" Pippin whispered.

"No," Merry replied.

"I think we are."

"Shhhh! Gandalf's thinkin'."

"...Merry!"

"What?"

"I'm hungry."

I smiled, laughing to myself as the two went back and forth. It seems like no matter what's going on, one of them always wants food. Though honestly, I can't say I'm much different. I would kill for some roast chicken right now. As if it sensed my inner thoughts, my stomach rumbled, and I frowned down at it. Okay, chill. I didn't ask for your input.

As I reached for my pack to grab a snack, however, the soft sound of a distant scuttling broke the stillness of the environment. On instinct, my hand flew to my belt, and I raised my head to see Frodo looking out into the pits with a panicked expression. He turned, running up to Gandalf with a frightened urgency in his eyes. "There's something down there!"

At this, the rest of us tensed and started scanning the area, preparing for the worst. Even though I knew what I was looking for, though, my vision wasn't good enough to track any sort of movement so far away without decent light. I turned to the elf in our party, whispering to him quietly. "Can you see anything?"

His eyes continued boring into Moria's great pits, and I watched as they danced about. After a short pause, he spoke. "Yes. It clings to the shadows, but it is no Orc." I saw the slight crease of confusion in his brow, struggling to identify this unseen enemy. "What is it?"

"It's Gollum," I heard Gandalf say with indifference.

I saw Legolas' gaze harden, narrowing his eyes in a glare at the shadowy area. "You know him?" I asked.

He nodded. "He was a prisoner of the Woodland Realm once, but escaped from my father's dungeons long ago."

Oh yeah. I forgot about that. "I know more about him than I'd like to," I muttered, leaning back against a boulder. Legolas didn't respond, and I glanced over at him again as he stood completely still. This was the first time we'd spoken all day. In fact, it was probably the longest conversation we'd had since entering Moria. Maybe he's finally going back to normal. "...I don't know how he does it," I said again, trying to keep things rolling. "If I lived in a place like this, I'd go insane. Although I guess he doesn't have much of his sanity left to begin with." I waited, staring at the back of his head as my words hung lifeless in the air. ...Or not.

I sighed and let my gaze drift out to the space before me again, listening as Gandalf spoke about Gollum overhead. "And now the Ring has drawn him near," he was saying. "He will never be rid of his need for it. He hates and loves the Ring, as he hates and loves himself. Sméagol's life is a sad story." I could picture the confusion on Frodo's face as he listened. "Yes...Sméagol, he was once called...before the Ring found him. Before it drove him mad." I remembered what I knew about Gollum and his dual personality, and the complexity of both his personas. He was a fascinating character, to be sure, but if given the choice, I knew I'd prefer not to cross paths with him.

"It's a pity Bilbo didn't kill him when he had the chance!" Frodo suddenly sneered. I had to suppress a snort of laughter. Kill Gollum? God, that would ruin the entire story. Without him, the Ring would never even be destroyed. My mind traced back to my argument with Kathryn a few days ago. One life could change the fate of Middle-Earth entirely. Funny how that works.

Just then, I tuned back into the conversation between Gandalf and Frodo as the wizard said one of his more famous lines. "Many that live deserve death, and some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them, Frodo?" Silence. A chill passed over me as I heard the words, surprised by how relevant they were in my own life. "Do not be too eager to deal out death and judgment. Even the very wise cannot see all ends. My heart tells me that Gollum has some part to play yet, for good or ill, before this is over. The pity of Bilbo may rule the fate of many."

Again, Frodo was quiet for awhile. When he did speak up, he sounded sad and burdened, and my heart went out to him for all he'd gone through. "I wish the Ring had never come to me," he whispered. "I wish none of this had happened!"

"So who all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide," said the wizard. "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. There are other forces at work in this world, Frodo, besides the will of evil. Bilbo was meant to find the Ring, in which case you also were meant to have it. And that is an encouraging thought."

As the two above me fell silent, Gandalf's words settled on my shoulders like a weight, echoing in my head. My eyes drifted, resting on Kathryn's back for a moment as I thought about the meaning behind them. We're not the Gods of Middle-Earth, I thought, and we never will be. Boromir will dies...Haldir will die. Countless others will die, but not without cause. It's a necessary evil if this quest is to ever succeed. I knew it in my heart, and my eyes dropped down to stare at my own hands. We were not made to intervene.

You already have, hissed a faceless voice. You have altered the futures of many, as well as your own.

But I ignored it, squishing the unwelcome presence in my head. I've done nothing wrong, I reassured myself. Neither has Kathryn. And I swear on my life, as long as I'm still breathing, it's going to stay that way.

–

-Kathryn-

I stared straight ahead, feeling Erin's gaze on me as I sat quietly. I'd heard Gandalf's words clear as day, and they were haunting. Many that live deserve death, and some that die deserve life. It took all my willpower not to look at Boromir, feeling guilt grip me hard. He didn't deserve death. Not in the slightest. As I felt Erin's eyes shift elsewhere, I let out a breath, horrified by how conflicted I felt over this. Why is this so hard for me to decide? I just have to do it. I have to save him. If I don't, I'll never be able to live with myself. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. What else would I have been brought to Middle-Earth for? Obviously I'm not here because of all the stuff I know - that's Erin's job. And I'm not cut out to be a warrior like everyone else. I remembered what Gandalf had said to me several nights ago, on the slopes of Caradhras in the middle of the night. Maybe I'm not meant to be a war hero...but I can still save someone. Is that what he meant? Was that a sign telling me to save Boromir?

The night continued on as we all sat there for what seemed like ages as I wrestled with my thoughts. Without it ever being explicitly stated, we all hit a point where we realized we'd likely be camped out there overnight, and slowly people began to settle down from there. The hobbits were the first ones to curl up for a good night's sleep (or at least, the best you could get in a place like this). One by one, all the others began following their lead, and before long, I was one of the only ones who remained awake. Gandalf stayed up, never once moving from his seat in front of the crossroads as he remained lost in thought. To be honest, though, I was glad we were both in our own separate worlds. I had way too much to think about, and the last thing I wanted was to endure another riveting speech from the old wizard.

After awhile, though, I heard the soft sounds of someone twisting and turning where they lay, and then soon after came quiet footsteps in my direction. I glanced up to my left, giving a halfhearted smile as a curly-haired hobbit approached. "Hi, Merry," I whispered.

He stood next to where I sat at the top of the tall staircase, looking around. "Can't you sleep?"

"No."

"Me either," he answered. He hesitated for a second, then turned to look at me. "Mind if I join you?"

At first, my instinct was to say yes, but I stopped myself. I've been sitting out here alone for awhile already. I guess I could use some company. After all, how could I turn Merry down? "Sure," I said. "I'm not doing anything exciting, though."

"That's alright," he replied. "I think I've had my share of excitement for the day as it is." I smiled, and for a few minutes, we sat in peaceful silence. I'll admit, it was nice to just have someone to sit with, even if we didn't talk. Merry was sweet, and I admired his intelligence. He also carried an air of maturity that was different from the other hobbits, which was interesting. I could tell he had a good head on his shoulders, and thought about all the great things he'd do as he continued his journey with the Fellowship. He ends up as a rider in Théoden's army, doesn't he? Or is that Pippin? Shit, I don't remember.

Just then, however, he turned to look at me again, breaking the tranquil atmosphere between us. "How soon d'you think we'll be out of these mines?"

"I don't know," I answered. "Gandalf said it was a four day journey, so probably soon."

"Where is he leadin' us after this?"

I paused. Should I say anything about Lothlórien? "I don't know," I repeated. Thoughts of my Gondorian friend came to mind, and I smirked a bit. "I've heard Boromir talking a lot about wanting to go to Gondor, though," I whispered, hoping no one else would hear us.

"I've heard Minas Tirith is a good place," Merry nodded. "A safe one." Another pause. "What do you think, Kathryn?"

I sucked in a breath. "I...maybe," I said softly, feeling the all too familiar sadness sweep over me again. "If anything, I hope Boromir can return there safely one day."

"He talks about it a lot," the hobbit commented. "One time he told me the White Tower reaches so high it touches the clouds."

I chuckled. "He does love his city," I agreed. "More than anything." Again, our conversation fell silent, only now I felt the stress of my decision bubbling up inside me the more we talked about Boromir. An idea crossed my mind in that moment, and I stared down at my feet as I spoke. Maybe Merry will let me vent to him for awhile. He's an outsider in all this. "...I worry about him, you know."

"Boromir?" Merry looked confused. "Why?"

"Because of his pride," I said, "and his stubbornness. He's not a bad person, but I think sometimes he acts more on instinct than he should. He's willing to do whatever it takes to protect the people he cares about, and... one day, I think it might kill him."

I didn't dare look Merry in the eye, even as he answered me. "Boromir's a great warrior," he countered. "He seems to know how to protect himself."

"Every man has his moment of weakness, though," I said. "I don't want his to be exposed."

Merry remained quiet for a moment after that, thinking. "What makes you care about him?"

I raised my head, looking at the hobbit sincerely. "He reminds me of someone I knew," I said. "A... a good friend, also a warrior, who's in danger right now." I swallowed hard. "I'm afraid he'll be dead before I ever see him again," I whispered. "I don't want another friend of mine to have the same fate."

Merry was frowning now, looking deeply concerned as I opened up to him. "It can't be Boromir's fate to die, Kathryn. He's a good man."

I wanted to scream. I know. "I'm still worried," I said. "I just...I want to be able to protect him, but sometimes I doubt I ever could."

"...I'm sorry," the blond replied quietly, looking down again. "I wish I could do something to help."

I shook my head, sighing. "It's okay, Merry. It's not your job to be his bodyguard. I just needed someone to talk to, I think."

"All right." More silence, my thoughts still spinning even as the conversation officially died and Merry stood up again. "Well, I'm feeling more tired now. Think I'll try and get some rest." He glanced back at me as he turned to walk away. "You should, too."

I smiled up at him, appreciating his concern. "I will sometime soon, probably. But thank you, Merry. For letting me talk to you about my problems, I mean.

He smiled back. "Of course. Good night, Kathryn."

"Night." I waved him off, turning back to the pitch black surroundings of Moria once again in my solitude. Even Merry doesn't think it's right for Boromir to die. I have to save him, I can't abandon Boromir when he needs me, I have to save him...

A/N: Just an FYI: I know that in the movies, they don't spend the night at that crossroads, but it was a small change I had to make for the sake of this fic.

Thanks for reading! :)