Auctions And Innuendo
"Don't make me do this." Rukia complained.
"Loosen up Rukia. It's for charity….Done!" the blonde said with a comb in one hand and a pair of scissors in the other.
"It's so degrading." Rukia said looking down at her half nude body with the letter K carved out of her pubic hair.
"This year even the captains have to attend. Not that Kyoraku-Taicho ever needed to be forced. Your brother will be amusing, especially if he gets competitive." Matsumoto said.
"He wont do any such thing. His dignity wouldn't allow it. He's has too much pride. I'll bet he even hides his eyes like a proper gentleman." Rukia said.
"You really need to learn more about men. I doubt that hot brother of yours is dead from the neck down. A very nice letter K Rukia. For Kuchiki. It should be obvious who it belongs to. I wonder who will bid for you?"
"Since you're the only blonde, I think everyone will bid on you. What did you make it look like?"
"Take a look." she said opening her kimono.
"An arrow pointing to the goods. That's hilarious. Hisagi-sans going to have a fit if he doesn't win."
"Oh no he's the auctioneer this year and I can't wait to see your brothers face when he looks at those photos and realizes one has to be yours. He's going to flip."
"I'll probably be killed." Rukia said.
"Don't worry too much the fun parts wont be photographed. We did have to blur some photos but if we take this one just right…there." Matsumoto said taking the picture.
See you later Matsumoto." she said leaving the lieutenants quarters feeling dirty.
"Oh hey Renji. I'm glad I ran into you can you do me a favor?" Rukia said.
"What is it?" he asked.
"Come here I can't say it out loud." she said whispering the situation into his ear and blushing.
"Rukia! Sure I'll bid for ya. I was planning to anyway so thanks for the heads up." Renji said.
Rukia went home and thought a bath would do her good. Hairs from the shaving and trimming were sticking to her skin and she wanted to wash them off. Well that and she did feel a little dirty being in such an intimate situation with another woman.
When she got out of the tub she couldn't find her maid and lack of a maid meant lack of a towel. She had no other option but to walk nude back into her room yet again. Wrapped up in her own mind as she left the room she looked up and stared stunned right into the face of Byakuya.
His eyes were wide and he forgot how to move. Then he gave her a predatory look as his eyes groped her body. Noticing the carving of a K he got a hard on and as soon as he realized what he was doing he excused himself as quickly as he could.
They were both really embarrassed after that and a feint blush could even be seen on his face at dinner. Both tried to ignore what had happened and act normally.
"Does Nii-sama like the way it's decorated? Let me give you some. I bet I know what part you'd like to eat." she said looking at the small cake in the image of a bunny as he stared at her because of what she just said. Then he realized she was referring to the cake.
"I will take some head." he said then his eyes widened and he corrected himself. "Ahem! I will have a slice of the head I mean." If anyone would believe it possible Byakuya had turned very red in the face and was trying his hardest to look his normally emotionless self.
"That's the best part. The inside has the most cream and I love the way it drips out after you've put it into your mouth." she said excitedly then realized what she had just said sounded like and dropped her tea on her kimono.
"Rukia are you alright?" he said.
"Yeah I just got really wet…oh god." she said her cheeks completely flushed.
"I hope it was not too hot." he said in his normal stoic manner.
"Well it's never too hot for my tastes." she said referring to the tea.
"Perhaps no one has done it for you properly yet." he hinted not showing any emotion.
"It's always best when I take care of it myself." she said as she calmed.
"I shall assist you next time and show you how to get it properly heated." and he meant what he said and it make her flustered again.
"I'm going to my room now and get off…I mean get this off. You know like change into something else that's um dry?" she said getting up and trying to leave the room.
"I certainly hope you can come." he said enjoying her reaction and her innocent look.
"What!" she said with a jerk of her head.
"I said I hope you can come to the garden this evening and we can have a game of Go…If you wish. Do not make me repeat myself."
"I…I…I…I yeah I'll come as soon as I get off…this off. I mean….I gotta go." she said and ran off.
He was feeling rather self satisfied at the moment. She had looked so cute when she got all flustered and embarrassed. He was still a man after all and seeing all of her earlier was driving him to the edge. Somehow he had to let her know he was interested in her without being too obvious or giving her any chance to reject him for her silly reasons.
A Kuchiki is used to having many things. Anything they want actually. Byakuya Kuchiki was no exception to the rule and what he wanted he got. She would surely again refuse him on some moral issue like she did when they accidentally kissed. There had to be some way to get her in the same room with him in a more intimate manner. She would have to feel obligated to stay. It may be underhanded but he was controlling that way.
Rukia was nervous about the situation going on in her house. Her brother had not been acting very brotherly lately and she had yet to get over the fact that he was her brother in law. What she was suffering and struggling with the most was that she liked the attention and began to desire him in a way she had fought against for years.
"Rukia it is your move." Byakuya said.
"What's the point? You're going to win anyway." Rukia said.
"Allow me to show you the right moves, you will not be displeased."
"If I let you show me, what's the guarantee that it'll turn out the way I want?"
"We both have the same goal. Let us reach it together. Come here." he said holding out his hand. She took it and he pulled her back to his chest as she sat in front of him between his legs.
Rukia began to breathe a bit heavier with him so close. "Um…so show me." she said.
"Gladly." he said about to kiss her.
"Where should I place the next one?" she asked dodging the kiss.
"Here." he said placing his right arm over hers on the board.
Her heart was pounding. "I…um…" was all she could say. He was using his other hand to slowly drag the hem of her kimono up her leg.
"You what Rukia?" he said into her ear trailing his nose down her neck which she cocked to the side when she felt the heat of his breath caressing it. They were both about to explode.
"Your lordship? Oh excuse me your lordship, my lady. An urgent message has come for you." the servant said handing him the letter then leaving quickly realizing the two would be in a bad mood after being interrupted.
"What is it?" she asked Byakuya who was reading the letter in one hand and still holding her in the other.
"Nothing of any consequence, my fifth seat is trapped in a wall."
"How did that happen?"
"I do not know, but it seems I have to file a form before they can get him out."
"So you have to go then." she said still in his tight embrace.
"Regrettably." he said hugging her tightly.
"I was planning on getting to bed early anyway." she said.
"So was I." he said kissing her on the forehead and getting up.
"I'll walk with you to the front gate." she said.
"I am unsure how long it will take."
"Then I guess I'll see you for breakfast." she said.
He left in a very bad mood. Who on earth gets themselves trapped in a wall? What was worse was that he was interrupted because no one would attempt a rescue until he signed off on it, what kind of silly procedure is that?
He arrived at the scene and his man was indeed trapped in the wall. Half his body sticking out of one end and the rear sticking out of the other. A ton of people were buzzing around looking at his back end, while his protests could be heard from the other side.
Some people were standing around talking others were running back and forth in a fit of confusion. There was a guy with a sledge hammer on standby and another with what looked like giant tweezers, a wrecking ball, and a Byakuya didn't even want to know who thought to bring a goat or what they were planning to use it for, which was grazing on some grass under the guys dangling feet.
"Kuchiki-Taicho! I'm so glad you're here!" Renji yelled excitedly then saluted.
"Abarai I do not even want to know how this happened. Where is the document?"
"Here sir." Renji handed him the form.
"Did you bring a pen or am I supposed to sign this with Senbonsakura?"
"A pen a pen." he searched his uniform. "Does anyone have a pen!" Renji yelled.
'Idiots, I am surrounded by idiots. They call me here for this? It is like a bad joke. How many idiot Shinigami does it take to free an ass?" he thought to himself and suppressed a smile.
"Here Taicho!" Renji said holding out a pen.
"It is done." Byakuya said throwing the form at Renji, the pen bouncing off of his forehead, then drawing Senbonsakura and freeing the squirming man from the wall with a small explosion.
The workers looked disappointed then looked at Byakuya with blank stares then everyone looked at one another.
"I didn't expect it to be that easy." one person said.
"Well I could have gotten him out by doing it that way." another said.
"Yeah well you didn't do anything but pull on his legs." a man said.
"Well you were pulling on his arms." another man commented.
"Yeah and while both of us were pulling, he didn't budge an inch, did he?"
"I don't get to use old sledgy." the guy with the sledgehammer said.
"Baaaahhh!" the goat sounded walking off.
The next day the auction for dates with single girls for charity took place. Many were in attendance, all of the captains, who had the larger paychecks, were required to attend and bid this year.
"Since last year was such a bust, we've decided to make things more interesting this year. Each girl has trimmed their special hair…down there, to give you a hint as to who they are. You're going to bid on the photo of the art work. Of course you wont see anything vulgar, thanks to a certain complainer." Hisagi looked at Nannao. "The winner gets to go out with the matching girl for the night."
"First up is picture A. Quite impressive actually I think it's a pink cat. Let's start the bidding at one hundred. Do I hear one hundred?…We have one hundred do I hear two?"
"Two." some shouted.
"Two hundred do I hear three? Come one guys who wants to pet this kitty?" Hisagi said.
"Three hundred!" another called.
"Great do I hear four?…Three fifty…three fifty?…great we have four….four hundred…Five….six hundred going once, going twice…Sold! To Kenpachi-Taicho for six hundred dollars, do enjoy sir." Hisagi said and Yachiru bounced to her captain.
"Next up is this lovely jet black letter K. Bidding starts at one hundred dollars."
"One hundred!" Renji shouted.
"We have one hundred from lieutenant Abarai do I hear two? … Come on guys this is the milky whitest flesh I've seen in a long time. Don't let Abarai intimidate you guys, this is a once in a lifetime chance for sure." Hisagi said looking at Rukia and she tried to hide her blush.
"Two hundred." Kira called to get under his friends skin.
"I'll kill you. She's off limits!" Renji screamed.
"Three hundred." Yamamoto said after finding out who it was. "It's very difficult to find someone who can properly serve tea."
"Three hundred….we have four….five hundred…five hundred…this is indeed a rare girl and we guarantee she comes with out a chaperone this time." Hisagi said and the bids became competitive.
"Six hundred." Kyoraku bid after hearing that she would be alone.
"Seven hundred. I feel too responsible for Rukia to let you have her alone." Ukitake said.
"Eight hundred." Kyoraku said. "A rare flower indeed."
"Nine hundred!" Renji shouted frustrated.
"One thousand." Kurotoshi said. "I can think of several things I would like to do with her."
"No Eleven!" Renji shouted.
"Twelve." Kyoraku said.
"Thirteen." Kurotoshi said.
"Fifteen hundred." Ukitake called protectively.
"Two thousand!" Renji yelled wondering where he was going to get the money.
"Twenty one hundred." Kurotoshi said. "I can really use her."
"I wont let you! Twenty five." Renji said.
"Really where are you going to get twenty five? Twenty nine!" Kira said saving his friend.
"Three thousand." Kyoraku said.
"I think you should stop bidding. Thirty one hundred." Ukitake said.
"Oh but she's so innocent old friend. Thirty four." Kyoraku said.
"That's the problem …old friend. She wont be when your done with her. Four thousand." Ukitake bid as the two men bickered politely.
"I'll take her for eight thousand. She'd make a good wife. She just needs to get to know me a bit and she wont refuse. It'll be a good match for my family." Ohmaeda called.
"Eight thousand!…I believe we have a new record. Eight thousand going once…"
"Twenty thousand." a deep assertive voice called and all heads turned and the room quieted.
"Come again? Did Kuchiki-Taicho say something?" Hisagi said the smile on his face gone.
"Twenty thousand. Do not make me repeat myself again." Byakuya said.
"Twenty five." Ohmaeda said and all the heads that were looking at Byakuya turned to him.
"Thirty five." Byakuya said.
"Forty. I've got money too." Ohmaeda said trying to beat Byakuya.
"One hundred." Byakuya said.
"Huh? No female is worth that." Ohmaeda said.
"One…one…one… one hundred thousand! Sir you honor us. Sold! Sold! Sold! The children thank you….here's your girl….go on Rukia." Hisagi said practically throwing Rukia at him.
"Nii-sama what on earth!" she asked as everyone watched them leave with her trailing behind him.
"Do not question me Rukia. Are you not ashamed of your involvement?"
"I'm sorry I'm really embarrassed."
"You have nothing to be embarrassed about." he said handing her the photo.
"Oh." she looked up at him wide eyed with nothing to say as she followed him back to their house.
"You are no doubt wondering why I bid on you." he said after they entered the house.
"Well yeah I was." she said as he urged her to follow him.
"We are here." he said opening the doors to his room.
"Nii-sama?" she questioned at all of the candles, rose petals on the plush futon. "You didn't have to do all of this, I mean I can leave if you want. It was nice of you to save me and all but don't force yourself to spend time with me."
"I have already made plans for us this evening and I paid quite a bit for your company and I mean to get my monies worth." he said.
"Nii-sama!" she exclaimed in nervous shock.
"By morning you will not be referring to me that way again." he sat her on the futon and all she could do was look up at him with a mixture of desire and confusion as she took the glass of champagne he handed her.