Chapter Twelve

Your Memory Is A Monster. You Forget. It Doesn't

999 years later. New Orleans

They'd warned her about the vampires. When she joined the New Orleans police, they'd informed Hayley about the vampires in the French Quarter. And the witches. And the werewolves.

If she'd been anyone else, she would have thought everyone on the police force was out of their fucking minds. No doubt any other regular citizens would have believed so. But she wasn't a regular citizen. She was one of them. A vampire. Her dirty little secret. She wasn't sure how her fellow officers would react but the way they spoke of 'those things' in the French Quarter ranked somewhere less favorably than the human dregs of society they dealt with every day.

There was an uneasy peace between the humans and those beings. The mayor and other government officials in the city knew, but apart from them, very few humans were privy to the nightwalkers that roamed the streets, feeding when necessary.

Hayley shuddered. She hated that part. Hated it with a disgusted self-loathing that had made her contemplate suicide many times as a teenager even before her parents had kicked her out when they had found out what she was.

Scratch that. When her adoptive parents had found out. She liked to imagine her real parents who had died when she was a baby would have loved her no matter what. She didn't know how she'd become a vampire but it had to be a recent development because, well, vampires never grew old which would stand to reason that whatever age the vampirism came into play, was the age you would stay.

She could perhaps get the answers she wanted if she went into the French Quarter more often than her job necessitated and asked the creatures there. But that would reveal her secret. So Hayley let that space in her mind remain a big fat question mark.

As far as she was concerned, her life began the night her best friend Camille found her sleeping behind a dumpster, too tired to move because she hadn't fed in weeks. She owned the bar Rousseau's and brought Hayley to her apartment nearby to shower and change and get a hot meal. When that didn't satisfy her appetite, Camille figured out what she was. That moment was the scariest of Hayley's life as she didn't know how Camille would react. She smiled and told her to call her Cami and promised that she would be right back, leaving her alone in the woman's apartment for a little over an hour.

She came home with two bags of blood from the hospital where her friend worked. She let Hayley go into the bathroom to consume them because she couldn't bear to have anyone see her and fed as the tears of gratitude streamed down her face.

She owed Cami her life. Her friend let her stay and for a little and let Hayley work with her at Rousseau's to pay half of the rent and groceries.

She was happy for a little while, but restless, needing a purpose and needing to help rid herself of the guilt of being what she was. Cami's uncle, a local priest had certain connections Cami told Hayley she was better off not knowing about that helped get her a fake ID and fake school records with impressive grades to enlist in the police academy. Hayley Marshall was reborn.

She got her own apartment and joined the New Orleans police department a few years later. Hayley visited Cami every few weeks and they talked often. It felt nice not to be alone in the world and balance out the monstrous side of herself by helping people.

But there was unrest in the Quarter. Part of the reason the peace worked between the supernatural beings and humans was because the self imposed 'king' of the neighborhood, a vampire named Marcel had an arrangement with the human faction that none under his rule would perform any magic. It was absolutely forbidden. Now the witches were getting rebellious, tired of being stifled. The mayor warned Marcel if he didn't quash any rebelliousness, he would live to regret it.

"They're going to increase police presence in the Quarter if Marcel doesn't put a leash on his witches," Hayley warned.

Cami sighed and handed her a beer before flopping down on the couch beside her. "If I thought it would make any difference, I'd remind him of that, but it's nothing he doesn't already know."

"It'll make a difference because he'll think you're worried about him. No, I'm sorry, because he'll know you're worried about him," Hayley teased.

Cami blushed and reached over for the remote, switching on her tv. "Marcel and I have an understanding. That's all. His guys help out with some of the jerks in the bar. That's all."

"You liiiiieeee," Hayley exclaimed, lifting the beer to her lips.

Cami looked at her pointedly. "You're right. Just two nights ago Marcel and I had sex right on this couch."

Hayley choked on her beer. Coughing and sputtering while Cami reached for some Kleenex, she tried to see if Cami had just been bullshitting for shock value. Cami cocked an eyebrow and seemed amused but there was also clear, honest truth in her gaze.

"No shit?" she asked in awe. "Vampire sex? What was that like?"

"You mean details?"

"Fuck yeah, details! Spill!" Hayley insisted.

Cami took a sip of her beer, playing coy. Hayley nudged her. "It was incredible. Not in any sort of supernatural way, the basics are pretty much the same but…oh God…" She shivered dramatically. "Have you ever…you know, with your own kind?"

Hayley bit her lip. She wanted to say no but the truth was, there were so many gaps in her memory dating back to ever since she could remember. She knew her parents had died, but not what their names were. She remembered being thrown out of the house, but not what her adoptive parents looked like. Everything before the night Camille found her by the dumpster was a series of vague images and scenes playing out in her mind.

"I don't think I have." There had also been no sex in her life from that moment she woke by the dumpster because she'd been afraid of how/if her vampirism would manifest itself in bed with a guy.

But she knew she'd had sex before. There were vague images of that too. Blond hair and sad blue eyes. Sometimes, a wave of love for whoever he was would grip her so strongly she couldn't breathe. Who was he? Was he missing her? Or had he died? Had she killed him? It was that fear that kept her from probing that memory too strongly. She did not want to know. Ever. She didn't remember ever taking a life as a vampire, but the possibility terrified her. She hadn't taken a life yet as a cop, but she knew some on the force that had and regardless of whether the person on the other end of the gun had deserved or not, each cop got the same haunted flicker in their gaze whenever they talked about it, which wasn't often.

"Did anything…you know…change on his end? I mean, did his vampire self show up during or anything?" Hayley asked cautiously.

Cami reached over and squeezed her hand. "No. Not once. If you can be the way you are now, pass for human and no one being the wiser, that won't change with sex. Is there anyone I need to approve as a viable candidate?" she teased.

Hayley snorted. "Hardly. I haven't had the time and yeah, I've been worrying about the vampire thing showing up but if you're sure nothing would happen…"

"What's his name?" Cami pressed, an excited gleam in her eyes.

"Seriously!" Hayley laughed. "There's nobody. I just…well, you and Marcel kinda give me hope, I guess."

"Good!" Cami said. "You should have hope. I mean you're sexy as hell and I know for a fact that men fall over themselves trying to get to you before you give them your infamous 'I will cut your balls off and hang them from my rear view mirror' looks."

"I do not do…" Hayley cut herself off as she imagined the way she did close off whenever a guy looked her way. "Hmm. Well, whatever." She took another drink from her bottle, grimacing a little because the beer was getting warm. She set the bottle down on Cami's coffee table.

"This weekend we're going out and finding you someone awesome. A body needs companionship for both physical and mental well being. We're wired for it, you know? Brain chemicals actually get released when-"

"Zzzzzzz," Hayley said dramatically dropping her head on Cami's shoulder and pretending to fall asleep.

Cami punched her shoulder, making Hayley laugh.

"Sorry, you know I don't deal well with any kind of psycho-analysis because my brain is a vast wasteland of repressed memories and rage."

"And that's why you and I are such good friends," Cami grinned.

"Yeah, a psych major. Did I mention I'm also a masochist?"

Cami leaned over and kissed her cheek. "I love you too."

Cami suggested they go to a blues club. Hayley knew the place well though she hadn't gone there much when it wasn't in a professional capacity. Some of the more notorious 'businessmen' in New Orleans liked to conduct most of their dealings in the backrooms of places just like this in the city.

The music was fantastic though so Hayley let herself relax and even danced with a few guys but found that while they were hot, there was no real spark so numbers weren't exchanged.

"Well hello, there, Officer. Should I warn my uncle to sneak out the back?" A lanky red-haired guy asked nodding to the bar tender.

Hayley rolled her eyes at Jeff, the nephew of a known drug-smuggler. "Only for those god-awful ties he wears. I'm off duty."

His green eyes lit up and Hayley tried not to laugh. The guy had a blatant crush on her and made no secret about it even though she'd arrested him at least three times in the past year for possession though his uncle Bobby always managed to get him off.

"I had no idea you even knew what 'off-duty' meant," Jeff said, taking a seat next to her at the bar.

Hayley could see Cami next to her out of the corner of her eye lower her head and fight a smile.

"How about a dance as proof that you really do know how to let loose? I mean, you wouldn't want me to spread the word that you're all talk, right?" Jeff asked with a cheeky grin.

"Right, I'd rather have it get out that I'm doing the bump and grind with a drug-runner. Sorry." Hayley winked at him.

The light dimmed a little in his eyes and she felt Cami kick her.

"Ow!" She glared at Cami who looked pointedly at her. Hayley sighed and turned back to Jeff. "You know what? On second thought…" She got off her bar stool and extended her hand to the younger man.

He was a good dancer and charming and had a pretty good voice as he sang along with the house band's cover of a B.B. King tune. Hayley forced herself to forget, a least for a minute that he was a criminal and once she was able to do that, she found him really likeable.

But when he started hinting around that he'd like to take her to his place for the night, Hayley had to put the brakes on though she had to admit her hormones were opposed to her restraint. Dancing with a drug-runner was one thing. Sleeping with one? No way to justify that one so Hayley turned him down.

She turned and headed back to the bar, dodging Cami and her dancing partner, a tall brown haired guy. Turning, Hayley bumped into another guy, her face meeting his neck and getting a whiff of really good cologne, fitting considering the expensive look of his suit.

"Oops, sorry there, GQ," she joked looking up into his face. His face was one of the handsomest she'd ever seen and her lady bits stood up at attention. A strong jaw, inviting mouth and soft brown eyes that seemed to widen a bit, she thought in male appreciation but quickly changed to unmistakable surprise. She swore she could actually see the color drain from his face as he stared down at her. His mouth opened and closed as he seemed unable to speak for a moment and he blinked several times as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"Oh my God," he whispered, his voice smooth and strong. "Andrea?"