Chapter 12

We near the rooftop and Uriah jumps, I pull Tobias along with me and crash into the gravel on the roof. My palms red and bleeding from the rocks scraped across my hands, Tobias dusts himself off, his jaw tight. I can't help the laughter that is consuming me. I just laugh, that was insane. Amazing and insane and absolutely freeing. Uriah smiles and jumps off the roof. My eyes widen until I hear his voice at the bottom. There must be something there to catch us, from here it looks like a bottomless abyss. Tobias swallows, "I don't know how I can manage to do this, Tris."

I smile and press a kiss to his cheek, "together?"

He takes my hand, I count to three and laugh as we plunge through the air landing into a net, cradled in safety. Tobias gets off first, he offers his hand to pull me off. I stop laughing as Uriah hands us a gun, "I don't know who is in here or who we will face. If this should be the day I die, it was a pleasure meeting you. You're not half bad...for stiffs." Uriah looks around, "I am heading to the control room, I need your help to get in." We nod and follow him through a large opening in the compound.

Tobias leans over and whispers, "welcome to Dauntless."

Despite, the situation, I find myself smiling. Tobias and I walk through the compound, Uriah turns to us, "stay here at the chasm and stand guard. I don't think too many soldiers will be here in the compound. If you hear anything, like my pained screams or dying cries, try and help save me. You know, if it fits into your schedule and all." He heads towards what I assume is the control room.

I nod, and look into the chasm, the rushing cold water splashing against my feet. "It's amazing, Tobias."

Tobias peers over the rail, "it is."

Pressing my fingers to the railing, my mind lapses into the thought of Tobias and I possibly having a life here. Tobias fingers grasp mine, "things are changing Tris."

"I know," the chasm roars beneath me, serene and violent all at once, reminding much of Tobias and I and our relationship. Calm and peaceful on the outside, but completely passionate and churning upon closer examination. The two of us seem like quiet Abnegation, but we are both Divergent, we were both meant to be different. "Tobias, if things are changing, what does that mean for us?"

"We will adapt, we always adapt, Tris. Maybe this is a second chance, a chance to make the right decision."

I hit Tobias shoulder, "are you saying you made the wrong decision choosing Abnegation and staying for me?"

"Yes, I made the wrong decision staying in Abnegation, but nothing about you is wrong."

I blush, and drum my fingers along the railing of the chasm, I look around to make sure that we are alone and Uriah didn't return with his brother from the control room. I fit my hands to Tobias's neck and pull his lips to mine. I pour all my emotion into that one moment, my mother's death, my people's genocide, my newly formed courage and bravery, my love for Tobias.

Tobias pulls away from me, "that was new."

"I'm not sure I understand, what you are saying about me?"

"I am not saying anything about you, just that your lips haven't ever kissed me like that before. It was new."

The blush on my cheeks must be very bright, because Tobias laughs and leans on the railing, twisting the knife we received in his hands. I hear something over the roar of the chasm, "Tobias, did you hear that?"

Tobias looks at me, "no, what was it?"

"I don't know." I turn and walk towards the hallway I saw Uriah disappear into, the sounds get louder, the noises resembling what I think is struggle. I can hear Tobias breaths behind me, my hand secures the gun, "are you ready?" I ask.

"Isn't this the kind of thing we were meant to do?"

The words meant to escape my lips fall silent, as I hear a gunshot fire. Turning the corner, I see Uriah fighting against a soldier, I aim my gun, but the images of my mother play through my mind, and I freeze. The solider falls to his knees after another shot. I turn to Uriah, "I'm sorry I didn't shoot. But good shot."

Uriah raises an eyebrow at me, "I didn't shoot."

Uriah and I turn to Tobias who is setting his gun back the waistband of his jeans, "did you shoot, Tobias?" I try to keep my tone even, but the gratitude I feel towards his bravery seeps through anyway.

"Yes." He swallows, his face grim. That wasn't an easy decision to make, but Tobias made it, knowing that Uriah could be killed if he failed.

Uriah pats Tobias on the back, "and why didn't you switch again?"

"We should keep moving," I roll my eyes and follow Uriah up the flight of some nearby steps. Uriah peeks his head around the corner, glancing into the hall.

"Only one soldier here, it's Peter, who I wouldn't mind killing myself."

I peer over Uriah's shoulder, and this boy, Peter sees me. He doesn't seem to be under the influence of the simulation. Peter raises his gun and shoots at me, I stand frozen as the bullet strikes near me. I need to be brave.

I take a deep breath, and shoot back, hitting him in the leg. Peter collapses into the ground, writhing in pain.

Feeling a small victory, and some over confidence, I take a step into the hallway in full view, "go on, Uriah. Tobias and I can handle him." I glance at Peter and see that he has fallen unconscious.

Uriah moves forward to what I assume is the control room, Tobias takes my shoulders and examines me, "you didn't get nicked or scratched?"

"I'm fine, Tobias."

"No cuts?"

"I'm fine," I say as Tobias continues to question me. Frustrated, I kiss Tobias deeply, getting lost in him, my fingers tangled into his hair. I don't hear a thing, but as a hot searing pain consumes my shoulder and I hear a blaring pop, I realize a gun was fired. The pads of my fingers press to the heat in my shoulder, I examine them, sticky with crimson. Another shot vibrates behind me, but I am much to focused on the crimson painted on my fingers.

I can't believe I got shot.

Tobias has leaned me against the wall, pressing some fabric to my shoulder, my breath has hitched in my throat. Is that all my blood? How is all that blood seeping through my shirt and into the fabric? Do I really have that much blood?

I start hyperventilating, that's all my blood.

"Tris, stop. Just, take a few deep breaths, focus on taking deep breaths."

I do as I am told, and feel Tobias fingers against my shoulder, "Tris, I need to pull that bullet out before I can stop the bleeding, on three okay?"

I breath out an okay, as his fingers as gingerly as possible move around the hole in my shoulder. My screams pierce the air, pain radiating throughout my entire body at the feeling of a bullet being pulled from within my shoulder. "I only got a fragment out, Tris." My head begins to pound, is the blood from my shoulder just pouring out now? Like a waterfall? The edges of my sight begin to blur, the pounding in my head becoming unbearable. I collapse into Tobias, letting him support my weight.

I fight to keep my eyes open as the room begins to spin around me, my grip on Tobias growing tighter. I can hear my name, distantly, I know that voice. Whose voice is that? Keeping my fingers locked onto Tobias, I struggle to turn and see who is calling my name.

Tobias sets me down against the floor, "stay awake, Tris."

I think I said that I would, but I can't remember what if those words left my lips at all. "Tobias," I feel like I am going to die, is this what death feels like? A strangling sinking feeling, like reaching for something but coming up short, striving for breath but air falling just a bit from your lips. "I love you, in case," I take a breath. I don't think this will kill me, but what if it does? If it does, I want to Tobias to know how much I love him.

Tobias smiles at me, "Tris you aren't going to die...You got shot, in the shoulder. You will survive. Besides it wasn't deep, you bled as much as I would expect is normal for someone who just got shot. You aren't leaving me, Tris."

I try and push my dramatic reaction aside, taking another breath, I bite my lip, "is that a threat?"

"If that's what it takes to keep you with me."

I allow myself a moment to catch my breath, "I won't ever leave you, Tobias."

Tobias sits against the wall with my head in his lap, he stares towards the room Uriah ran into. I wonder if he has managed to shut off the simulation, he said to let him handle the situation, so Tobias and I sit here letting the weight of today's events register for us. Just this morning, I thought today would be a normal day, that I would pretend to be selfless and come home to Tobias. Everything that has happened today changes my whole life, my life wasn't ever supposed to turn in this way. I was going to stay in Abnegation, I was going to marry Tobias, we might have a kid or two, we would live our lives together, grow old together. We would be forever trapped within a sea of grey.

"Tobias what happens if we stop the simulation?"

"I don't know, but things will change."

"Where will we go? There isn't a home for us in Abnegation. Everyone is either dead or a fugitive."

"We can make a life somewhere else."

"Where? Not, Dauntless. Tobias, they just killed our people, my..." I choke up at the mention of my mother, "why would we stay here? I am having a hard time with the thought even though they were under simulation...It doesn't make them completely blameless does it? People are still dead by their actions."

"Not really their actions, someone else, but I understand the logic. We could go with the Factionless."

The thought of spending my time with Evelyn makes me cringe, "your mother hates me." I shut my eyes as Tobias twirls his fingers through my hair.

"She doesn't hate you, she is just...not embracing you." I can hear his smirk.

"Oh really? That's a comforting thought...She hates me Tobias, she thinks I am 'replaceable'."

"In her life maybe, but not in mine."

I smile and try to shift to face Tobias, but feel pain coursing at the sudden movement and decide on laying this way instead. I try to imagine the future with Tobias, that I have dreamed about many times, "Tobias?"

"Yes?"

"Would you marry me?" I wince at my words, "not like now? I mean hypothetically and all, not like now. So like in a hypothetical way, would you ever hypothetically marry me? You don't have to answer, never mind."

"Tris, if you wanted me to marry you right now I would."

I stay quiet, letting the smile playing on my lips speak for itself. I allow myself to fall into a state between the darkness of sleep and being entirely awake, while we wait for Uriah to save his brother.

A jostling shake wakes me, I flutter my eyes open, "Tobias?"

"We are getting off the train, do you think you can manage with your shoulder?"

I move it slightly, and nearly pass out. "I can manage," I lie. The concern in Tobias voice, makes me feel like I should feel fine, I hate seeming him this worried.

I can see him watching me closely, for any sign that I am in pain. I look around the train car, "Where is Uriah and his brother?"

"In the car next to us...It seemed like they needed some time alone, given the situation."

"Where are we going?"

"Back to Evelyn. We have no were else to go, do we?"

"I guess not...What about my father?"

"I assume with the other refugees who I heard have gone to Amity."

I nod, "your right, there isn't anything there for us. I want to find my father though, and tell him..." I swallow, "what happened."

"We will, when we know it's safe to do so. I don't need you shot in the other shoulder."

"It's good to know that you care so much about my shoulders health."

Tobias kisses my lips, my cheek, then trails them down my neck. I feel the blush on my cheeks, he hasn't ever done that before. I think of my fear, and the feeling that I get when Tobias is near me. This fear can't be rational, I think to myself. How can someone who makes me feel so loved and the idea of manifesting that, scare me?

"Tobias, we need to get off the train," the Factionless sector goes by in a blur. Tobias helps me stand and we jump together, the pulse from landing sending shocks of pain through my shoulder. I clench my teeth and keep the scream in the back of my throat from slipping out. Tobias pulls me close to him, as I see the two figures form the train car next to us jump out. Uriah nears me, with a boy who though he looks older than Uriah, is shorter than him. His eyes are bloodshot, I assume from managing the simulation. I hold some distrust to him, even though he wasn't in complete control. This is the person who allowed my mother to be killed.

But it wasn't of his own will, I try to imagine how many of the Dauntless feel waking up to see that they have murdered countless innocent people, men, women, and children. The horror they must feel. The boy shakes Tobias's hand, "I'm Zeke, Uriah's older brother."

He turns towards me and glances over me, "how old are you?"

The semi-smile that was on my face drops, the one usable shoulder and arm sits on my hip, "I am 16." I move my chin outwards, showing that despite my small size I am confident.

"A feisty one, aren't you?" He looks at Tobias, "she must be a handful."

Tobias smirks, "only sometimes."

I flash him a glare, "we should move." Tobias pulls me closer to him, allowing me to put the weight of my shoulder on him. Tobias leads us to where Evelyn is ruling her band of Factionless and towards the hallway where we had assembled a cot to sleep on.

"Uriah, Zeke you can sleep on that empty cot over there, I am going to find some supplies to properly dress your wound, Tris." Tobias walks away leaving me with Zeke and Uriah.

They sit on the cot across from me, "so you are 16, for real?" Zeke asks.

"Yes. I am."

"And Tobias is your..." Zeke seems to like to question me.

"Boyfriend."

Zeke nods, "how old is he?"

"18," I say.

"That's quite a gap."

"Because 2 years is really just impossible to overcome." I let the sarcasm of the statement sit in, I cross my one arm over my chest, and keep a steady glare aimed to Zeke.

Uriah nudges Zeke with his elbow, "be careful, she is feisty."

"You're joking." Zeke looks at me, "there is no way she could hurt me."

I smirk, "on the contrary, I can hit a target with a knife better than you." I really hope that Edward's training worked.

Zeke takes his knife out, "try me."

I grasp the knife blade, "I will hit just above your ear, okay?"

Zeke nods, "whoa, how do I know you won't miss and take my eye out, like Edward over there." He jabs his thumb in the direction of Edward.

"You're Dauntless, that is a risk you are going to have to take."

Zeke seems to agree with my logic and sits perfectly still. I stay careful not to move my wounded shoulder and use my other hand to chuck the knife across the hall. It comes mere breaths from his ear, and I break into a grin.

"Why aren't you Dauntless again?"

"I had personal obligations." I say, glancing over to Tobias with his arms full of medical supplies. He drops them next to me, "what did you take everything that they had?"

"Just about, okay let me see your shoulder." Tobias moves my shirt back and begins to clean out the wound, I bite into the piece of fabric that served as a belt to keep from shrieking in pain. He presses the bandages to my shoulder and wraps it tight, "I will change it tomorrow."

I smile, "thank you, Tobias." I fit my mouth to his, but one of the two boys sitting across from us clears their throat. I turn to see Zeke still feigning a cough.

"I didn't know Abnegation were this normal, first with Tris throwing knives, and now the two of you showing affection in front of people."

Tobias looks at me, "you threw knives?"

I point to the knife that is still stuck in the wall behind Zeke's ear. Tobias laughs, "I have to admit, Tris, you are deadly even with only one functioning arm."

Zeke grudgingly nods his head in agreement. "We should get some rest, everyone." I say leaning onto the cot. Uriah and Zeke battle for a few moments over who gets which side and who gets the window and then argue over the covers.

My eyes begin to shift closed when I feel Tobias wrap his arm around me and pull me close to him, my small frame fitting to his like a puzzle piece. I snuggle closer to him, the feeling of his breath against my cheek and my palm against his chest, for a moment allowing me to think I am home, in Abnegation safe with Tobias.

My dreams drift me into sleep.