Seto didn't like this Pegasus. He was too close to the man from the night before. That Pegasus couldn't be reasoned with, couldn't be worked with. So if setting him off was the only way to get rid of the eerie calm, it had to be done.
Seto thought through his argument, laying out each point in a linear order, hoping Pegasus would follow along until Seto finished.
"You don't plan to let me go."
He didn't make it a question. He didn't let the anger and revulsion at the idea leak out. It was composed and simple. Pegasus claimed Seto wouldn't like the answer to the question and that was the only answer Seto couldn't accept.
Instead of taking another step back like he wanted to, like his body tried forcing his mind to comply with, Seto swallowed and steadied his jaw.
"Regardless of any arguments you pose or connotations you create, I will be a prisoner for the rest of my life."
Because if by some horrible twist, Pegasus managed to convince Seto that being here was in his best interest, that Seto should relent to small talk and locked doors for the rest of his life, he still wouldn't be allowed to leave. To live confined, caged, trapped.
Seto kept his features still and waited for Pegasus to reply so he could add more layers to his argument and hopefully get everything aired.
"It's worrying you, isn't it?" The darkened gaze took the breath from Seto's body."On the contrary, how long you stay here depends entirely on how much progress we make."
Seto tried to force his feet to grip the floor. His body needed something to do—to focus on—outside of lashing out at Pegasus. He was dodging the point again, refusing to admit the inevitable horror of reducing a human being to a doll for the rest of their life. And what would happen when Pegasus grew out of his doll? Would he be passed along to someone else, to start a new "life?" Or would he simply be discarded?
The ease with which Pegasus could make him disappear, especially on the island, made his blood run cold.
"Why would I bring you here to live the bulk of my life without you? You think I want to stay confined to these walls for the rest of our days?"
Our.
Seto immediately regretted eating anything, bile was hard enough to keep down when Pegasus was in these stupors, let alone actual food.
Was he delusional enough to think he could put Seto on his arm like a trophy wife? Parade him around like an animal?
"I want to know you, Seto. I know you're not ready to accept that you might want to know me, but you haven't given it a chance yet."
Their partnership wasn't a chance?
He had been more amicable, more honest with Pegasus about his intentions with Industrial Illusions than he had anyone else in his life, save Mokuba.
His past betrayal didn't count for anything?
Stealing his brother's soul, traumatizing an eleven year old child wasn't enough reason to swear off trusting him forever?
He forced his lips shut, but was sure he could be heard loud and clear.
You had your chance.
"I'm never going to want what you want."
A flush of anger ran through Seto's mind, clearing his head and his vision. His life wasn't a game. Mokuba's life, by extension, wasn't a game. He needed Pegasus to wake the fuck up.
He gauged the distance between them, maybe four steps, five if he shortened them. With the scars a distant thought, Seto took a step forward. "I'm not a doll."
Pegasus couldn't expect to play dress up with him, to have meals together, and to keep Seto hanging off his arm. He couldn't continue toying with Seto.
"I'm not a plaything," Seto said, taking another step. The rising hatred threatened to slip out, but Seto reeled it in. For his point to come across, he couldn't be anything but neutral. There were no accusations, no threats, no pleas. Just statements.
"I'm not a possession." Another step.
It had taken years for Seto to see himself as more than Gozaburo's lessons, to understand his value, and he'd be damned if Pegasus tried to take that back from him. Pegasus couldn't take Seto from his life and expect to own it. Seto would fight back until his death to hold tight to what he had earned.
He took the last step, putting him closer to Pegasus than comfortable, but the necessary distance to ensure Pegasus locked on to Seto's eyes. Seto dropped a few seconds in between his last sentences and mentally practiced his final sentence for clarity.
"I'm not a replacement," he said, then closed his mouth and watched for the response.
Pegasus's lip twitched as he bit down hard enough to break the skin.
Replacement.
The word beat loud in his ears, filling him up.
"Is that what you think you are?" he whispered, sending the hair on the back of Seto's neck straight up. "You insufferable fucking child." Pegasus let the breath out through his nose, clamping his mouth shut to keep from saying what he knew he'd regret later.
He knew Seto would fight. He'd just found where it hurt. It would be okay.
He should've expected this.
"You think I brought you here to lose my wife a second time—to you?" His laughter nearly made Seto's knees buckle and he settled for moving half a pace forward, rather than back, to right himself. He couldn't afford to show fear.
"You will never be a replacement. You never were a replacement." He shoved hard against Seto's chest, enough to put some distance between them. "You want to feel like more than an object here? Stop acting like a cardboard cutout and show me who you really are. You don't think I see it, even now? The way Mokuba's face is floating in front of your eyes as you ask yourself how long it'll be til he's unrecognizable? You don't think I've felt that—the same way I've felt the burning connection to the god forsaken game that brought you to me in the first place?"
Seto's hands drew into fists and Pegasus stepped closer as if prompting the blow. "Did you think you would break me? Is that what you wanted? Don't you look away from me now. You can't take it back."
Their eyes met, Seto's entire body trembling with repressed emotion. "No matter what you do, Seto, no matter what I've said, I can't really turn my back on you. We're the same, you and I. To our very core. We were both prying from the first moment. I wanted to start with authors; you wanted to start with nightmares."
He took another step, maintaining firm eye contract. "Here's one you can keep for a while, Seto. I forgive you."
"Screw forgiveness."
Seto's chest burned where Pegasus had pushed him and he willed his hands not to rub at the spot. He hadn't known who he referenced with the replacement comment, the insufferable her who haunted his thoughts for an entire day. His wife? Seto shook his head. Pegasus had been staring at his wife?
No, he couldn't think about that now. Not with Pegasus staring and Seto so exposed. Seto had years of experience holding himself together, and gathered up all that practice to keep from making use of his fist.
"You have no right to who I really am," he said, righting his posture and watching the distance between them shrink. "You kidnapped Mokuba and lost any hope you might have had of that."
He might as well have kidnapped Mokuba this time around. Reuniting was equally hopeless, although in this case, Mokuba didn't even know what had happened. He should have said something during the phone call, at least to Isono. Gozaburo wouldn't hurt Mokuba until he had Seto, and Seto could stop him a third time.
"Send me to Gozaburo and rot in your wife's memory. I'm not dealng with you."
Seto stormed to the door, jerking it open and standing aside, still in the room so his action wouldn't be misinterpreted as an escape attempt.
"Fuck off."
"Close the door Seto. We're not going anywhere."
Rot in your dead wife's memory.
All these years.
Waiting.
Hoping.
Rot in your dead wife's memory.
Kept alive by the glimmer of her smile or the smell of their bedroom on an evening walk.
Rot in her memory.
Rot.
R o t.
What did Seto know of loss, of longing? He shook his head to keep himself rooted in the present, but her eyes fluttered open in his memory. The first time. The last time. Fingers laced between each others' like they could never belong anywhere else.
She had never been the cause of his suffering. She was the salvation of his every endeavor. Seto couldn't understand a love like that, he still had his precious person. He didn't have to cling to favorite songs when they came on the radio in the middle of the night, chances growing slimmer as the years went by and the artists faded into obscurity. He didn't have to hold his breath against the pillow until every ounce of it had left him trying to recall the lilt of her voice.
He could stand being insulted, but to imply that Cecelia—sweet Cecelia—had been in any way responsible for his decline?
He had gone too far.
"Going back to your stepfather isn't an option and your repeated delusion of control is starting to bore me. Either tell me in great detail the abuse you'd rather me re-enact, or come imply my being worse over here."
He nodded to the bed, catching Croquet's silhouette from beyond the door.
Seto glanced through the door where Croquet stood waiting, rolled his eyes, and slammed it closed. He hadn't expected Pegasus to leave, but certainly couldn't deny having hoped for it. But Seto wasn't delusional about his control. He still had some. Not much, but enough.
He resented 'we're not going anywhere' for too many reasons to count. The idea hadn't been to leave together, but for Pegasus to just leave. Seto wasn't playing around anymore. He'd take the first chance he got, shatter the mirror, and use every shard to carve his way out.
"You took Mokuba from me again. I'm not implying you're worse than him," Seto said. Late night snacks hidden under the comforter in Mokuba's room, the silent dinners, the weekend days in the backyard garden, the spare moments with multiplication flashcards—all sped to Seto's mind and all happened with Gozaburo around. Seto hadn't seen Mokuba much, but he had been there when his brother needed him.
"I'm saying that I'd rather go back to him than spend another moment in your company. Take a good look at me," he said, tilting his arms around so the scars caught the light. "You are worse than him."
Seto refused to return to sitting while Pegasus towered over him, refused to sit side-by-side to talk about dinner and books. Staying calm hadn't gotten him anywhere but caught in a memory of a dead woman.
There was only one door Seto could go through, and the bathroom door didn't lock. It was better than nothing, so Seto headed that way.
"If you wanted Mokuba to join you, all you had to do was ask."
Pegasus didn't bother to chase Seto, and instead made his way to the bed to sit down. "When it's safe, I'll bring him here. The two of you can bask in your fury together at least. You'll mellow eventually."
In truth, for all his shouting, he wished he was anywhere else. Seto's company was draining but he refused to let himself believe it had been a mistake. There was hope, even if he had to make it himself.
"You have no idea the kind of man your stepfather will come back as. People go mad in that sort of oblivion, tortured not just by solitude, but omniscience, total control of the world at his fingertips. He won't give that up if he makes it out. He'll be unrecognizable, and you're not a boy he can whip into shape anymore."
Seto had slammed the door a long time ago, unable to go on listening to his tirade. Pegasus, though knowing his speech would be muffled by the barricade, spoke no louder. If Seto wanted to argue, he'd have to come out of hiding.
He half expected him to turn the shower on and drown him the rest of the way out, but he hadn't. Not yet.
"You have no idea the things they've threatened, the interest they've attracted. Consider for a moment the kind of men I'm talking about, Seto, and tell me with a straight face that any of them would keep you or Mokuba around once they got their hands on you. We both know it's naive to say you'd fight. You'd try. That's all."
He ripped at the tie around his neck for something to do, trying to vent his frustration. His hands shook, fingers barely cooperating, but he managed to get it off and wrap it around his knuckles.
"A phone call and a pinch of persuasion is all it'd take to bring that boy here, and you think I've taken him from you? Gozaburo would slit his throat and let you fill in the screams."
His body went rigid trying to purge the image it conjured. For the first time since he crossed the threshold into the room, his stomach churned, and Pegasus wondered if he'd be able to hold it.
"If you're going to be angry come out here and vent it like a man. Don't let it fester into stupidity."
Seto clenched and unclenched his fists, pulling at the Velcro on the wrist guards until they fell to the floor. If he ended up taking a swing at Pegasus, he wouldn't be encumbered by anything.
Seto had no idea the things that had been threatened? He leaned his head back against the door and stared at the ceiling. How could he? Isono screwed up and hadn't told him. Pegasus only said what he wanted Seto to hear. Seto had yet to hear an actual threat from Gozaburo. Pegasus couldn't scare him into submission through name alone.
- People go mad in that sort of oblivion -
Like losing a spouse? Falling so far down a rabbit hole that up and down reversed? Hallucinating a dead wife onto another person?
- tortured not just by solitude -
Living on an island? Having only employees for company? Wandering around as half of a whole?
but omniscience-
Wearing an eye that could read minds? Knowing what everyone around you thinks? Manipulating thoughts and ideas until they were grotesque mockeries?
- total control of the world at his fingertips -
Having control over the souls of the people around you? Sealing people away when they don't fit your needs? Stranding people on an island, locking them in your world?
- He won't give that up -
Have you?
- He'll be unrecognizable -
Going from the man Seto respected, the man who built the game Seto spent so much time absorbed in, made his business from, to the madman on the other side of the door?
- and you're not a boy he can whip into shape anymore -
Hasn't stopped you from trying.
Seto's glare fell from the ceiling to the breakfast plate he had hidden. How couldn't Pegasus hear himself? Threatening to bring Mokuba into this mess simply to beat Seto into submission?
He set his lips and determined not to exit until Pegasus left. Threatening Mokuba was a step too far, even for Pegasus, and even in this hell.
Pegasus's fingers flexed around the tie and he felt himself dipping his head back to force more of the light on his face. He needed the stimulus to get away from all this.
Seto wasn't going to budge. He couldn't afford to cave. They were at an impasse with only one end.
He remembered Mokuba sitting up in this very bed for hours, afraid to fall asleep. The nightmares hadn't suddenly appeared after he found his way to safety. He woke up screaming nearly every night in Pegasus's custody. Toward the end, the morning before the escape attempt, he rocked himself all night trying to keep his eyes open.
Pegasus offered melatonin but needed no camera to tell him it'd be been flushed as soon as he left. Before the dungeon and its iron bars, he had checked on the child every hour, on the hour.
He remembered the things Mokuba shouted, using words well beyond his years. Seto sounded just like him now.
Get out. Fuck off. Leave me alone. Leave me alone. Leave me alone.
"Please don't leave me alone."
That third day.
His remembered how cool the door handle was against his skin, the force behind the step he never took.
"This will all be over when you give me what I want."
"I can't," he had whispered, and in that moment, as Mokuba got to his feet because standing was the only shred of defiance he had left, Pegasus believed him. But it didn't change what he wanted.
He nodded, bringing the door closer to its hinges, an inch from shutting.
"I'm scared."
Pegasus blinked hard, trying to focus on the bathroom door. Closed. No voices passing through.
He got to his feet and walked to the end of the room. When he turned for one last look, it wasn't Seto's face staring back at him. It was Mokuba's, tear-stained and desperate.
"I'm scared."
But not of me.
"Ship him to his company, Croquet. I don't care anymore."
"But sir they've burnt the whole thing down."
"Tell that to him."
He didn't bother to shut the door as he left, stumbling numbly down the hall.
How fitting, he thought.
Ashes for ashes.
The door opened but never closed. Seto waited, thinking Pegasus was playing some game with him, trying to draw him out, but he heard a second voice, then footsteps.
The door still didn't close.
Seto got to his feet and opened the bathroom door, almost immediately faced with Croquet standing at the entrance. He held his sunglasses in one hand while rubbing at an eye with the other. His lips were parted and as he looked to Seto, his expression hardened.
"What?" Seto asked. Pegasus wasn't in sight, but the door should have been locked behind him. Croquet shouldn't have seemed so surprised. "He give up on me?"
Of course not, Croquet would say. Master Pegasus will return in the morning to torment you further.
"He has," was the actual response.
Seto took a step forward. It couldn't have been that easy. Two days cracked Pegasus? A few insults and slurs changed his mind? No, something else was going on.
"What does that mean?"
Croquet put his glasses back on, and inclined his head to Seto. "Pardon me," and he stepped back, closing the door with him.
Seto made it to the handle by the time he heard the deadbolt, tugging it to no avail.
"If he's given up, let me go!" he shouted, slamming a fist against the door. Receding footsteps caught Seto's attention, but he only hit the door again. "Let him give up!"
Croquet ignored the yelling beyond the door and hurried after Pegasus. The man was halfway to his bedroom, which would have meant no chance of reaching him without force, by the time he caught up enough to call out to him.
"Master Pegasus!"
"Leave it, Croquet."
"Leave it where, sir?" he demanded with more edge in his voice than he intended. "Shall I turn him loose on the island, let him drown swimming back to shore? Stow him in the dungeon? He has nothing to go back to."
"Not my problem," he called over his shoulder.
Croquet weighed his options before moving around the dining table and into Pegasus's direct path.
As Pegasus's voice raised, he leveled his to be heard over him. "I know he's upset you but please understand what you're asking me to do. His re-appearance will doom us all. Gozaburo Kaiba will find that boy and be the end of him, the second someone gets word he was here we'll be contending with authorities from three countries and their allies, not to mention all the grunts fuming because we locked him away—"
"Don't make this about technicalities, Croquet. You told me yourself we couldn't keep him against his will forever."
"That was before we realized Gozaburo Kaiba had this kind of backing. If that boy falls into his hands there's no telling what he'll do."
"And if he destroys half the world before they put a bullet through his skull, what's it to you? What's it to any of us? Everybody dies Croquet. Some are just lucky enough to know by whose hand."
Croquet removed his shades one more time and put them in his suit pocket. He should've put an end to the man's delusions a long time ago, but asking him to get help was like pulling teeth. Now there was no other option than to play to his vision, no matter how twisted.
"You really want to let him go? Forgive me sir, but he means so much to you."
"He doesn't even want to try!" Pegasus shouted, throwing his tie across the table and driving his fingers through his hair.
"That doesn't mean you have to stop."
"Don't do this to me, not now."
"I'm sorry," Croquet replied, putting both his pistol and key ring on the table.
"You can't be serious? After all these years you think I can just let you walk out of here?"
"I won't leave if you tell him."
Pegasus gaped at him, stunned. "You be the one to tell him you've given up on him, just like everyone else."
With that he turned and refused to face the man, stuffing his hands in his pockets so he wouldn't instinctively fold them to pray. The shrill ring of his phone was the only thing to distract him from Pegasus slumping against a dining chair.
"He's leaving," Pegasus insisted. "I don't care what you tell him."
Croquet hoped the walk to Seto's room would be enough to change his mind, but didn't have time to think about it. As his master disappeared into the castle, he swiped a finger over his phone and began to speak.
Pegasus forced his way of the stairs, unconcerned with looking disheveled. If he made it to the morning news reports of three more engineers who could break Seto Kaiba's infamous code and release certain Armageddon, he'd consider himself lucky.
He fumbled with a key, leaving the entire ring in the door, and pushed it wide open without bothering to step through.
"I understand you don't want to talk, put the fucking glass down and listen to me for five seconds." He stepped out of Seto's way, watching the blood pool in several puncture wounds across his wrist and arm.
Seto's chest heaved with breaths as he stepped into the corridor, eyeing Pegasus when his initial check, left and right, revealed a single guard.
"KaibaCorp's main headquarters has been devastated by a fire. Gozaburo's following is estimated to be between 300 and 3,000 men, all under the impression you're the only one who could program one of what are now, allegedly, hundreds of copies of this world—"
Seto held up a hand for him to stop talking.
Stop lying.
Let him go.
There couldn't be hundreds of copies, they'd all be corrupted.
His company hadn't burned to the ground in less than a week. He refused to believe it. Gozaburo wouldn't destroy his own building, his own emblem. So what, Seto had reinvented his empire? He'd raised him to do that. Only the strong and ruthless survived.
"The only vessel he'll accept is your body, and Mokuba's for his biological son, Noa."
Seto froze, trying desperately to take in his surroundings as Pegasus's words swarmed his head.
Raising the glass as the only threat he could manage, he opened his mouth to demand word on Mokuba. If he'd been communicating with Isono, he knew where they were. Right now, that was all that mattered.
"He'll be looking for both of you now," Pegasus finished, moving to the side and extending his arm in a mocking gesture to let the boy pass. "Good luck."
Breathe. Think. Croquet had seemed genuinely shocked by whatever Pegasus had done, so Seto thought he could believe him. Not Pegasus, but Croquet's response.
"Do I get a ride back to the mainland?" Seto asked. He adjusted his grip on the glass, slippery from the the blood that now covered the side of yet another shirt. When Pegasus didn't answer, Seto took a large step away from him and the room.
Pegasus's posture was impatient, like he was ready to be done with Seto. Maybe it was the removal of the tie, but Pegasus appeared infinitely more exhausted than he had just a few minutes before when they had been arguing.
"Or Isono's phone number? If he's supposedly protecting Mokuba, he'll have a burner."
And still nothing. Seto took another step, more aware of his lack of shoes and ill-fitting clothing. Pegasus would dismiss him after having been the person so insistent on keeping him, sending him home unprepared to face whatever was waiting for him.
His company burned to the ground? That was too dramatic even in Gozaburo's standards.
Although the idea of Gozaburo wanting to take over the body he had abused so badly amused Seto more than he knew how to deal with given the situation. If Gozaburo had known his life—although it could hardly be called a life anymore—would play out like this, he might have been easier on Seto.
He smirked and lowered the glass a bit. He shouldn't have been so surprised that Pegasus quit this soon into his own game. Seto had been right. Nobody wanted him.
"You're really going, aren't you?" Pegasus shook his head, letting the laughter come without restraint. "Every television and radio on this island is playing the evening news. Hundreds of people are on a manhunt for you."
Seto let him vent in silence. He knew that hollow tone and forced himself to keep walking rather than face whatever point Pegasus was getting to, knowing he only had a few precious moments to avoid the next tangent into madness.
"A dozen sources tell you you're committing suicide and I'm supposed to hail you a boat?" It didn't matter that he was raving at the back of Seto's head, he wouldn't hear him anyway. "You think Isono can come for you without being seen? Without luring them directly to you, and Mokuba by proxy? Dear god, Seto. I can deal with your anger and your resentment, but this has to be a joke. I'm straining with both hands to grab you and you ask me to push you to your death?"
His breathing picked up and he took a few quick, heavy steps toward Seto before he sensed him ready to take off, and stopped. "You can't ask that of me."
His voice broke, trembling with moisture, "Seto!"
The younger man stood expectantly at the top of the stairs, forcing himself to remain calm. Every part of him wanted to leave and not look back, but he needed Pegasus to get back to his earlier point about the boat. The rhetorical question didn't confirm anything, and he still hadn't heard any of the supposed threats for himself. The only assessment of the danger he was in came from Croquet's expression just minutes ago, and that wasn't a good sign.
He needed the full story from someone reliable. Where was Mokuba now? Was Isono the only one with him? If people were publicly supporting Gozaburo, and there was this much hysteria associated with the idea of his return, why weren't they being taken into custody? Why hadn't the backup file been found by now? Even professional criminals were hindered by sensationalism, and according to Pegasus the plan was literally everywhere.
He needed time to make sense of things, but he didn't have any.
With no other option, he started down the stairs two at a time and only stopped when Croquet rounded the corner, nearly knocking him over in his own haste.
"Mr. Kaiba," he said, in the same tone Isono used when something couldn't wait, "Isono."
Seto wiped the blood from his wrist on his pants, taking the spare moment to process what he'd been told before taking the phone.
"Whatever the fuck you have to say to me can wait. Is Mokuba there? Put him on."
Seto stepped back to distance himself from Croquet. He didn't think the phone would be snatched away from him, but he wasn't willing to take the chance. And Croquet carried a taser, so Seto needed room to ensure it wouldn't be drawn.
He counted his breaths before a scraping came from the other side, followed by, "Seto?"