Angst. Aaaaaaangst. Hm. Wonder what that means...

Well, you would find out if something white and furry wasn't sat between me and keyboard. I'm a Bad Person, he went to the vets. I am not forgiven.

'I have to leave in an hour,' Ianto moved past Jack in the bathroom, dodging the hands reaching for his towel. 'Have to drop Lulu off at Rhiannon's on the way, sister,' he added at Jack's questioning gaze.

Jack leaned back against the wall with a sigh. 'You should have told me you were leaving.'

'I did.' Ianto's shaver buzzed.

'I mean before yesterday,' Jack said, meeting Ianto's eyes in the mirror. The other man sighed and turned off the razor, bracing his hands against the sink.

'It was short notice for me too.'

Shifting his back against the tiles, Jack's gaze turned slightly speculative. 'You go away often, don't you?'

'As do you. I rarely see you, Jack, I-' his voice trailed off, bitter understanding creeping in, 'ah, that was a Torchwood question, wasn't it?' Jack made no reply, silencing speaking for him. 'What did you come down for last night, Jack? Me or questions?'

'That's unfair,' was all Jack said, steadily meeting Ianto's eyes.

'I'm sorry,' sighed Ianto, a twitched smile met Jack's reflection. 'I'm just tired.'

Pushing himself off the wall, Jack wrapped an arm around Ianto, cupping his hand over his shoulder and resting his chin there. 'That is my fault,' he agreed, earning a half hearted chuckle from Ianto. He tapped Ianto's shoulder lightly, 'I shouldn't have come,' he admitted.

'No,' Ianto disagreed immediately, 'no I'm glad you did. It's just...everything.'

'Torchwood,' he dropped a kiss to Ianto's still damp skin. 'Hm,' Jack trailed his lips appreciatively up his neck, 'you smell good.'

Ianto flicked the razor back on with a dry chuckle. 'You can talk. I can't place what you use.'

'Secret,' Jack said promptly.

'You have a number of those,' Ianto commented.

'I do,' Jack agreed steadily, fighting the heavy feeling settling in his chest. 'Yan, what we're doing-'

'Is an occasional shag,' Ianto filled in, offering a smile to Jack's reflection. 'I know.'

Pressing a firm kiss to Ianto's pale shoulder, Jack straightened. 'I can't give you anything more.'

'And neither can I,' was the matter-of-fact reply, 'so we fit rather well.'

Jack slowly dropped his hands from Ianto, stepping back. 'That's not true. Not for you.'

There was the smallest loss of control as the razor dropped with a clatter to the sink. Ianto turned around sharply, face set determinedly. 'Don't say it, Jack. This is what I want, I'm not asking for anything more.'

'It won't last, never would have. You know that.' Dipping his towards the ground, Jack reached out and briefly squeezed Ianto's shoulder. 'You are something special, Ianto Jones,' he said honestly.

'Jack, I'm happy.'

'Really?' Jack looked simply at him.

'Yes,' Ianto ran a hand through his hair, his small distracted gesture.

'Don't settle for good enough,' Jack advised. 'You won't be happy,' he added quietly, trying for a smile.

There was a heavy silence. 'Me?' Ianto asked quietly.

'No!' Jack said sharply, head snapping up, 'no Ianto,' his tone softened, 'never you.'

The young man's warm body folded into his arms, arms firm around his back and heartbeat steady against his own. Jack gently trailed his lips over Ianto's perfect cheekbones, ghosting over his skin as Ianto's breath hitched. He felt the man shift against him, soft lips pressing delicately over his as his face was cradled in light palms. Parting his lips to Ianto's caresses, Jack returned the kiss, fingers threaded deeply through his damp hair.

Ianto pulled away. 'I always liked you, Jack. I do want you to know that, even when I was living with you, I would never pretend.'

'I know. It did have its good moments didn't it?'

Ianto gave Jack's chest a half hearted poke. 'You ambushed me in MI5.'

Jack laughed softly, 'I believe it was a mutual ambushing.'

'Catching Myfanwy.'

'You made me jelly.'

Ianto smiled at the memory of that, opening his mouth to say more before letting it fade into an awkward silence. He turned and walked quickly towards his bedroom, Jack lowered himself to the cold floor and just sat.

The tap dripped quietly in the silence.

'Ianto?' Jack asked eventually, raising his voice slightly.

'Here,' came the muffled reply. Pressing a palm to the cold tiles, Jack pushed himself upright and rubbed absently at stiff shoulders, feeling where the fabric had absorbed the chill of the wall. Wandering quietly towards the bedroom, Jack dug his hands in his pocket and nudged the door open slowly with a foot.

'I think I should go now.'

Ianto just wordlessly held out his hand from his position sat on the edge of the bed, dressed in a dark suit and tie. Relenting, Jack crossed the room and sank into the mattress beside him, their thighs brushing as the bed dipped.

'Not going to change your mind, I suppose?' Ianto looked across at Jack with a weary kind of attempt at amusement.

'I would like to.'

'But you're being a noble prat,' Ianto finished softly, looking away.

'A sensible one.'

'Don't be sensible then.'

Jack's quiet laugh was loud in the silence. 'This coming from Ianto Jones?'

'Well, being sensible is never something that's troubled you before,' he drily. His shoulders sank with a sigh, bed creaking as he twisted across and kissed Jack's cheek. 'I'll miss you,' his accent was more pronounced.

Jack reached for the slender hand on Ianto's thigh, holding it and brushing his thumb across. 'I'll still see you.'

'Not really the same though, is it? I did try to make it work, Jack. I thought it would, I wasn't naive enough to think it would be perfect, but I thought what we had would continue. We are similar, I can't say I've ever had that with anyone before.'

'I'm not someone you'd want to be similar too.'

'I don't know about that,' Ianto lifted his head, frank eyes on Jack's. He looked away and shrugged, 'Well, for what it's worth neither am I.'

'Why not?'

'We shagged. That's all we did recently, isn't it? We never talked about ourselves, I know nothing about you Jack.'

'And I don't know anything about you. I learnt about Torchwood instead, not Ianto Jones, didn't I?'

'And it's best it was kept that way now, Torchwood Three.'

Interest couldn't help but stir. 'What don't you want Three to know?'

An eyebrow quirked, professional mask sliding into place. 'What would it be that you don't want Four to know?'

'This isn't about Torchwood.'

'Jack,' Ianto tapped his palms on the edge of the bed again, 'this, today, isn't connected to incident last month, is it? I swear I didn't see anything, I really do.'

'Didn't stop you from running a full scale search on it after, did it?' Jack looked with a hint of a challenge, eyebrow slightly raised. 'I asked you to leave it.'

'And how could I?' Ianto countered regretfully.

'How could you indeed,' Jack echoed softly, letting the room fall back into silence.

TW

Jack stood on his roof, tip of his boots indifferently over the edge as the hum of night traffic passed under him. Fixing his eyes on a distant yellow streetlight he stared without seeing while the wind buffeted him, coat flapping across his legs and hair ruffling. Jack closed his eyes and tried to feel alive. He let the tears trail down his cheeks unchecked, the wind smearing them away as new fell to replace.

'Would you have stayed with me?' Jack asked.

Ianto hesitated, the light through the drawn curtains casting deep shadows over his pale skin. 'I did say I had a past,' he said eventually. Blue eyes fixed simply on his, 'But I would have tried. With you. There is something different about you.' The bed creaked as Ianto placed his palms on the edges. 'I know you heal faster, does that,' he paused, expression collected and unreadable, 'affect your lifespan?'

'No,' Jack replied, feeling cold. He couldn't see Ianto's features, unable to judge whether the question was coming from Ianto Jones or Torchwood Four.

Jack looked up at the stars before lowering his gaze and turning away, booted footsteps muffled by the wind as he walked away. Walking down the dark stairs from the roof, Jack pulled his coat tighter and wondered what past Ianto could have in only 27 years. He paused, hand resting on the cold metal railing, before continuing as the question of how Ianto became Four leader in that time pulled him on. This wasn't going to be the end with Ianto Jones.

'Do want a lift to the airport?' Jack offered, rising off the floor as Ianto stood.

'No, thank you,' Ianto said politely, carrying a small bag behind him. Jack stepped back to let him pass, looking down at the bag over Ianto's shoulder.

'Not taking much,' he commented.

'No need,' Ianto shifted the back higher and kept walking, stopping only by the door to grasp his keys. He turned to offer Jack a last smile, Jack opened the car boot for Ianto as the younger man carefully placed his bag inside.

'You're not flying?' He queried.

'What makes you say that?'

'Your bag's too big for cabin luggage, you wouldn't carry your boarding pass or anything important in your pockets.'

Ianto leaned forward, pressing a kiss to Jack's cheek, lingering to simply rest cheek to cheek. There was a quiet sigh as Ianto drew back, Jack making no response. 'I said I was never good at hugs,' Ianto hesitated, 'and I'm not very good at talking either. Torchwood has been my life for a long time, but there was Torchwood, and then there was you, both,'

'Don't,' Jack cut in, avoiding Ianto's eyes. There was a pause before he looked up, catching the slight hurt in blue eyes before Ianto pulled open the car door.

'I've tried for so long never to let anyone in,' he sounded unsteady. 'I thought you might stay, Ianto said quietly, with dignity, before sliding into the car.

Jack took a deep breath as Ianto's car pulled away, exhaling slowly and closing his eyes. 'Tosh,' he said into his phone, voice tightly controlled, 'I need you to run a tracker, I've attached it and am sending through the details.'

'Tosh,' he threw his coat blindly aside as he strode into the Hub.

'Here,' Tosh's voice was muffled, she straightened from under her desk, torch gripped between her teeth. 'Owen,' she explained removing it, 'it was his turn to sweep. Knocked everything out.'

'Do you have access to Torchwood Four's archives?' Tosh's faintly proud smile answered that. 'Good,' he held up a hand, 'I don't want to know how, in fact, I didn't ask that question. But on the vague chance that you could, would you be able to find out when and how Ianto became the leader of Four?'

'Yes, I could,' Tosh hesitated, unwilling to ask but Jack could read it in her eyes.

'He deserves a little better than me,' he explained quietly, before putting it firmly behind him and striding over behind Tosh. 'So,' he said louder and firmly, smiling over her shoulder, 'where do we start?'

The chair squeaked as Tosh sat. 'Some of this could possibly be in the archives we are supposed to be able to access. Ianto's car hasn't moved,' she added, shaking her mouse to life.

'Why would he just park it in a random street?'

'Maybe it wasn't random?' Tosh suggested, 'He's visiting someone?' Jack just shook his head. 'Jack, can I ask, why are we doing this?'

Jack exhaled loudly and straightened, 'I don't know, Tosh,' he said honestly, 'I just want to know. I'm sorry. I still don't feel like I know anything about him.'

'And you feel it's necessary?' Tosh asked, fingers tapping on the keys.

'Yes,' he said promptly, 'and no. But mainly yes.' Tosh's silence kept its questioning feel. 'Because I'm trying to justify leaving him,' Jack admitted softly into the dark Hub. 'And I keep-' he uncrossed his arms with an irritated sigh, gesturing with one hand, 'keep seeing his face at the end,' he finished quietly, 'and I'm struggling to tell myself this was for him.'

Tosh's small hand reached back and squeezed his arm briefly. 'He's been in charge for 7 years now,' she scanned the screen, 'it says he brought Four together as a proper group. They'd been a bit vague before,' she added.

'At the age of twenty?' Jack palmed a rough hand across his cheek and leaned forward curiously. 'Does it say why he did that?'

'No. Not yet at least.'

'I really know nothing about him,' Jack observed half to himself, staring at the screen without seeing.

Tosh tapped her fingers on the mousepad, 'You don't think it's best to just leave it?'

'No,' Jack said decisively.

'You ended it with him, Jack, isn't this just starting it all again?'

'I can't explain,' was all Jack could manage to say.

'Jack,' Tosh asked tentatively, turning in her chair, 'why did you break it off? Now?'

Jack stared at her earnest face, remembering Ianto and her had been close during his months working for them. Watching her eyes flick down, nothing demanding in her expression, he gave an honest answer. 'Because I couldn't give him everything he wanted. He never asked, but I know he had questions about me. And I can't answer them. One day he's going to die, Tosh,' he said clearly, 'and I'm not going to be there, never was going to be. I can't forget that he's in charge of Four and there's even more I can't tell him. Besides,' he forced his voice to lightened, 'if Gwen can have Rhys and Torchwood so can he.'

'Have Rhys?'

Jack surprised himself with a laugh, moving forward he kissed the top of Tosh's head, lingering affectionately. 'Thank you, Tosh,' he murmured, feeling something cold roll down his cheek.

'I'll let you know if I find anything else. Owen and Gwen won't know,' she promised, turning back to the screen, pretending she hadn't seen.

Jack cleared his throat, heading for the stairs, 'Don't stay too late.'

'Are you alright?'

'Who would want to live forever?'

TWTW

'Pizza!' Jack bounded towards the table, deftly snatching the slice being raised to Owen's mouth and dodging out of the way of a kick. Gwen bite hurriedly into hers, squeaking through a mouthful as Jack stole it regardless. He paused suddenly and looked around, 'Aren't you two having any pizza?' He ducked from a flying slice, catching Tosh's eye as he straightened. She smiled and he let his mask slip for an instant, before smiling broadly again and making for Owen's next piece.

TW

'Jack,' Tosh called, knocking softly on his door.

'Hm?' Jack looked up, a twisted piece of grey metal held in his hands.

Tosh raised an eyebrow at it before continuing. 'I spoke to Marie, she likes to talk,' she said politely.

Jack smiled, 'Go on.'

'Apparently Ianto periodically leaves, various people are left in command when he's gone, but,' she paused significantly, 'he doesn't say where he's going.'

Jack attention rose at that. 'It's not anything to do with Torchwood?' He asked interestedly. Tosh just shook her head. 'What about over Christmas? Was that another one?'

'Yes, Marie said he was away then.'

Jack put the metal object down with a clang. 'Family related?'

'Never said anything at all.'

'How was Four with him leaving?' He asked curiously.

She smiled. 'It's Ianto. They're fine. It's a large enough group anyway, they're able to cope.'

Giving an exaggerated wince, Jack felt the slight reproach in her words. 'I left once. I had to.'

Tosh just smiled and turned back to the door, she paused and looked around carefully. 'Ok?'

'I'm fine.'

'He wanted you too, Jack,' she offered. 'Marie's never heard him ever mention having a boyfriend or partner, just one girlfriend who died a number of years ago.'

'Lisa,' Jack said softly. 'So no one else?'

'Just you.'

'Right,' the chair scraped as Jack stood up decisively. 'You keep talking to the gossip Marie, unless you'd rather I did,' he waggled his eyebrows briefly before continuing with a grin, 'I'm going to speak to Ianto's sister.'

'Is this official?'

'Depends on what I find. I'll need some retcon too.'

Tosh looked vaguely uncomfortable. 'I don't think Ianto will like it if you retcon his sister.'

'Trust me, I don't plan on him finding out. He left three days ago, it'll be a while before he's back.'

'It's staring again between you two, isn't it?' Tosh said wearily, pressing herself against the door as Jack hurried past.

'Fisticuffs at dawn wasn't really an option,' Jack darted back in in search of his coat, filled with new energy.

'Jack!' Gwen yelled up the stairs. 'Hoix in the middle of Cardiff!'

Jack let out a short breath, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck. 'Coming.'

'Jack,' Tosh called quickly from behind, 'are you going to see Rhiannon after?'

Downstairs he could hear Gwen and Owen shouting, the clatter as they ran around in preparation. It seemed to put everything in perspective. 'No.'

I tried not to sappify it, showing both that Ianto was sad to leave Jack and Jack didn't want to just cut it off completely and let everything go, without following my natural tendencies and having Ianto cling to Jack's neck sobbing DON'T GO ROMEO!
*puts on deep voice* No, Juliet, it is our destiny. We must always be apart! *twirls cloak/coat*
*piteous wailing* But I love you!
*heavy snog session*
Actually that would solve a lot. RTD, take notes.