The cable attached to one of the steel poles on top of the building is as round as my wrist. On the roof top next to it is a pile of slings, made of a tough, thick fabric to support our weight the whole way down. Zeke grabs one and attaches it to a pulley that hangs from the steel cable. Zeke gestures me over to him.
"You going first?" He asks me, before anyone else has the chance to get here. I shake my head, not sure what exactly I have to do.
"I'll go second. So I can see how it goes first. Don't want to make a fool of myself." I tell him, nudging his shoulder lightly. Zeke laughs.
"Sure thing. Shauna can go first, you can follow after her." Zeke says. I smile and nod, following the cable down the length of Lake Shore Drive, where it disappears through trees and buildings. I don't know where it ends, and I don't care. I just want to do it.
"Oh my God," says Uriah from behind me, but I don't turn to look at him. Shauna walks over and jumps into the sling. She wiggles forward on her stomach until most of her body is supported by the black fabric. Zeke pulls her forward towards the end of the building and counts down from five. Shauna gives him a thumbs up as he shoves her forward.
Lynn gasps as Shauna hurtles towards the ground at a steep incline, headfirst. She remains secure in the sling, which is a promising sign. By now, I am beyond excited.
"Can you not count down for me?" I ask Zeke as he sets my sling up while everyone woops and pumps their fists. "Just run forward from here and let me go?"
"You're crazy." Zeke says, shaking his head at me in amusement. It's funny, the amount of times I have heard those same two words in the last week. I'm starting to think maybe I am becoming crazy; thirsting for rush and danger, more so than ever before. He doesn't stop me doing it though. I jump into it headfirst, but on my back. Zeke looks down at me, laughing as he straps me in tight.
"Tem bucks says she screams!" Uriah calls through the line of dauntless, who cheer and urge on Zeke to make a bet too.
"You're on, but let's put the stakes up, shall we? How about 50?" Zeke crosses his arms, smirking at his little brother. Uriah laughs and nods his head, shaking hands with his brother. Uriah walks over and pulls my hair out of its ponytail.
"Have fun." He says. Zeke grabs hold of the sling and sprints towards the edge of the building, pushing me off with all his force. I am already going faster than Shauna was, but I zip my lips. Half way down, when I can just hear Zeke's yells, I shout to them.
"50 bucks on Uriah!" I have it under true belief that Uriah will scream down this zip line, it's just the way he is. Zeke calls down after me, with a 'you're on'.
They sky runs in front of me, clouds of all shapes and sizes fluffy in the air. It was a beautiful sight. My hair whipped out around me, blanketing me in its softness. My heart is beating, but not because of the zip line, no, but because of how magnificent this truly is. I feel weightless and free, as if I was my own person. The only thing that would make it better was if I didn't have to finish, and initiation wasn't waiting for me at the end. Between Eric, Uriah and Tris, I had a lot not to look forward to. I closed my eyes, letting the wind blow past me, calming me.
Trees appear above me, the tweets of birds lulling me as I fly. I feel like one of them, free to fly without worry. I don't slow for another minute, but I don't mind, I want to prolong the enjoyment for as long as I can. Unfortunately, the end comes too soon. I run my fingers through my knotted hair, but I don't care how it looks. I undo the straps and slips out of the sling, landing on my feet, twenty feet down. Shauna hugs me laughing.
"Uriah owes Zeke 50." I tell her once the adrenaline dies down. She laughs, slinging her arm over my shoulder, just like her sister, Lynn, did. "Uriah thought I'd scream."
"Idiot." Shauna comments, knowing me just as well as the boys did by now. A lot of us grew up together. Zeke and Shauna are the same age, as Uriah and I are, so we were together a lot. Same classes, same family trips. They were always there for me, even after my parents died. They were family to me now. Part of my faction.
"I got 50 on Uriah." I told her, watching as she grins.
"That bet I'd buy."
7 dauntless members fly down before any of the initiates show their faces. Annoyingly, Tris was the first one down. I don't understand her. One minute she is so weak, a stiff. The next she is the first initiate to dive off a building, other than me, of course. I didn't get it. Uriah is infatuated with her. Half of the members are infatuated with her. And now even Eric is keeping his eye on her. What is it about this stiff that draws everyone to her?
She yells, so the other members pump their fists with her. I don't, not that anyone notices anyway. Sure I should cheer her on, but she was so on my nerves today, that I couldn't force myself to do so. I was thankful for her help this morning, but now it is just getting ridiculous. It's like I cannot escape her.
When she stops, we all gather around to catch her. A tangle of limbs like a net formed out of our arms. I may not like her much, but she is still a part of my faction for now, and I will always help her out in the end. I couldn't let her die, could I? No. So I gather in too. She was shaking terribly, and thoughts of her hysteria that morning hit me. I have seen her at her most vulnerable, none of these people have. They don't know her like I do. They only know her for her courage and smarts between now and the paintball session. It wasn't much when you think about it.
"Look! There he is!" someone says, pointing over towards the building where a small dark shape is sliding down the wire. A few seconds later, we hear a blood curdling scream. I smirk and cheer.
"Zeke owes me 50!" I exclaim, hi fiving Shauna who knew as well. The others laugh and pat me on the back, as we watch Uriah slide down the wire.
"I bet he'll cry."
"Zeke's brother, cry? No way. He would get punched so hard."
"His arms are flailing!"
"He sounds like a strangled cat," Tris says. Everyone laughs again, but I don't. The others are betting in good heart, Tris is teasing my friend and it annoys me. She wants so hard to fit in, that she is trying too hard. I'd love to take her on, and put her in her place. Hopefully I'll get the chance to.
When Uriah finally comes to a stop, everyone thrusts their arms into the space between us. Tris looks up and meets Shauna's eyes. "Pretty sure we can't call you stiff anymore," Shauna says. She nods, "Tris."
For some reason, this change in her status boiled my blood. As soon as Uriah falls into our arms and is on the ground, I leave them be. Shauna turns to me.
"What rank did you get anyway, Zah?" She asks. Everyone stops and looks at me, eager to find out where I sit amongst them all. I smirk at Uriah and lift my chin up proudly.
"I'm first." Everyone cheered, while others teased Uriah about coming in second to me. Everyone knew about our rivalry when we were younger. It wasn't hard to miss. I would challenge him to fights every day.
"It's paying off." Shauna said softly, a hand placed gently on my shoulder. She knew about my fear, something only three people knew about. That was her, Uriah and Zeke. Shauna and Uriah I trusted with the information only after Zeke had found me in the training room, beating myself up. He says it was one of the scariest things he has ever witnessed.
That evening I walk into the cafeteria, finding Eric sitting at a table on his own. He doesn't look up, but he doesn't have food with him, so I know he is waiting for me. I sit down across from him. Finally he looks up, his eyes scanning my face for any signs. Signs of what, I don't know.
"Did you zip-line?" he asks, leaning back in his chair. By now I was used to the strange looks I was getting from various members around the room. I had been seen enough times with Eric by now that most people weren't shocked.
"Yeah, I went second." I told him, taking small bites of food. I wasn't overly hungry tonight, not really sure why. The tomato sauce on the table, however, reminded me too much of the pool of blood that sat around Edward's head. I pushed it away and lowered my gaze from it.
"How are you feeling?" He asks me, his hands folded tightly in his lap. He looks uncomfortable, which is really strange. Eric has never been nervous around me. Or anyone really.
"Alright." I reply.
Eric sighs and leans forward, rubbing my arm lightly with his thumb. That one small action made me relax and remember that Eric and I have a connection stronger than anyone else I know. Not because I knew him, not because he knew me. I felt connected to him in a way I had never felt before, not even with Uriah.
"You have to understand why I said what I did." He says softly, placing a piece of paper in my hand. I furrowed my eyebrows and looked up to ask Eric what it was, but he didn't look at me. Only stood from his seat and left the cafeteria. I opened the paper to read what it said.
'meet me at 10:30, in the training room.'
It said nothing else. I shoved the paper into my pocket and left the room. I went back to the dormitory to be alone for a while. No one would be back here till around 8 o'clock. It was usually like that anyway. But the last three days have told me that there is no such thing as normal. I begin thinking about what I have learned.
First, I have learned that Eric cares for me more than I thought possible.
Second, Tris is slowly pushing her way up the ranks.
Third, Everything I thought I knew is no longer valid.
After that, I began thinking about what I still wanted to know. I knew no more than I did the day before. If anything, I had more questions that needed answers.
I still don't know what happened between Eric and Tris.
What is Tris and Uriah's relationship
Why is everyone suddenly so interested in her?
What happened between Uriah and I?
Did what happened between Uriah and I mean anything?
What does Eric want to talk about?
I am more confused than ever before. One week has changed my perspective a lot. I have met new people, tried new things and grew as I person. I have helped people and hurt people. I just don't know what to do now. My meeting with Eric could change many perspectives and open up doors I didn't want opened. It could leave me with more questions than answers and I don't think I am ready for that. Worse still, the second stage of initiation is tomorrow. I cannot prepare for what I am going to face in the next stage of initiation. I am going in blind with the rest of the initiates.
I cannot guarantee a spot in the top ten.
I must have fallen asleep, for I am awaken when people start moving into the dormitory. It's 9:30, which is later than I expected people to get here. That's when I realize that it isn't people coming in, it was only Tris. Where could she have been this late at night? Every single other initiate was already in bed asleep, so who could she have been with? I didn't dwell on that for too long, because now I have to find out how to get out of the dorm without anyone noticing. I couldn't play off going to the bathroom, not with the length that this meeting will take. Just getting to the training room is longer than going to the bathroom.
I decided that I didn't care what they all thought. The meeting wasn't secret as such. Sure it was a private conversation, but it wasn't top secret. I got out of bed, pulling on pants and a jacket. I didn't bother trying to look nice. Instead, I tied my hair up into a bun and pulled on some shoes, leaving the room quietly. I am kind enough not to wake up the others when tomorrow was going to be a hard day for everyone. I didn't want to make that worse for them, no matter how much I hated some of them.
I rushed down the halls, it was approaching 10pm, and I had to meet Eric at 10:30. But I knew Eric well enough, he expected me there early. I knew I was right, because when I arrived there, he was waiting in the center of the ring for me. He didn't even look up when I came in, the door closing shut swiftly behind me.
"Zania." He said, looking up at the final ranking boards. One for the transfers and one for the dauntless-born. My name was written in a different hand writing at the top of the board, writing I can only guess to be Eric's.
"Eric." I replied, walking up to stand beside him. He looked diverged as his eyes met mine. I suspect that the reason for that confliction doesn't lie with just me, but the experiences we have all experienced in the past week. Something is being established deep in the government of Dauntless, something strong and dangerous. I fear that is what has pre-occupied Eric's thoughts as of late. How do I know that? I don't know. I just have a feeling. My private meeting with Max and himself? Why go to such lengths? Something is sitting wrong here. "Why did you ask me here?"
"I haven't seen you much in the last few days." Eric says, walking away from me to sit down against the wall. He looked up expectantly, silently inviting me to sit beside him. I did so, a slight smile on my face. Hopefully I can catch a glimpse of the Eric I have come to know in the last week. A reassurance that he is still there and still with me. "I've missed your company."
Something in what he says hurts me. It wasn't me he missed, at least he won't admit to missing me, only in the companionship I have given him. I let my eyes fall to the ground. I do not wish to argue tonight, only seek comfort in the idea that he might need me. That the brave Dauntless leader needs me, like many others need their lovers and friends, to seek relief and security.
"Then why didn't you come get what you missed?" I asked him, not caring anymore what he thought of me. Eric has seen me in some of my most vulnerable moments and I have seen him in his. I thought that he needed me, but maybe I was wrong.
"I was afraid." Eric admitted, gazing at me in that susceptible way that he does, only when I am around. The way where he feels comfortable to show me. Maybe I was right, in a deep, deluded sort of way. I was right and wrong. Perhaps it was the less momentous, less apparent displays of fondness that mean the most in any sort of affiliation; the most significant.
"Of what?" I question.
"Rejection?" Eric utters, his eyes no longer on mine, but on the ring around his finger, the one I had noticed the first day of hand to hand combat. I think, tonight, I would finally understand the meaning behind it. "Loss of what I truly care for?"
"And what's that, Eric?" I realize now, that Eric's self-solitude and confinement extends deep into his past. His thoughts all day and night are riddled with confusion and a sense of final belonging.
"Bravery. Fearlessness." Eric lists, handing his ring over to me. I saw the look in his eyes at that moment. Never have I seen him so open with me. His eyes alone are begging for my understanding. 'You."
Eric leaned quickly towards me, his hand pressed firmly on my cheek as we shared the most passionate kiss.