Five Minutes to Midnight
TWELVE: The Real Mr. Sawyer
Sawyer could tell he had a pounding headache before he even opened his eyes so he lay there in the silence, trying to run through his mind at which point he had decided to hit the Dharma whiskey. It had to be whiskey, scotch never made him feel his brain had been run over by one of the damn hippy vans. Damn, it hurt. He tried opening his eyes slowly, sensing something wasn't quite right. He shut them immediately as the dim light sent a knife blade of pain slicing through skull. He groaned and rolled over onto his stomach, groping at his face in the process.
"Fuck," he hissed as the world around seemed to do something funky, tilting in such a way that made his head spin.
"You should definitely stay lying flat for a while."
"Who?" he choked out, his voice sounding creaky and weak to his own ears. He managed to roll his head to the side and crack one eye open before Aaron could reply.
"Morning, Sunshine." Aaron's face hovered above him, grinning.
Sawyer just grunted in response and took a few deep breaths as he moved his tongue around in his mouth experimentally. It was dry and felt as though it had been stuffed with cotton.
"Travel through time again?" He vaguely noted how slurred his speech was.
"Nope," Aaron assured and reached for his coffee mug. He took a long sip. "It's still good ol' 2040."
Sawyer blinked. His mind drawing a blank of how he had gotten into his current predicament.
"We coiled that nasty aneurysm, remember?"
His eyes narrowed. "Old Jacko."
"Yeah," Aaron agreed. "Or, 'Anderson Cooper' as you seemed to have taken to calling him," he laughed. "Jack took care of it for ya. He spoke to you about it in recovery yesterday, but you were pretty out of it. I guess you don't remember our little sing-along on the ride home either huh?" Aaron grinned, but relented in response to the confused look Sawyer was giving him. "You are probably going to feel a little snowed for a while, but shouldn't have much in terms of pain."
"Yesterday?" Sawyer felt as though he was struggling to follow what was happening.
Aaron smiled patiently. "Yeah, yesterday. The surgery is all done now and you're doing fine," he assured. "You were pretty freaked about it so I gave you the good drugs. Then, Jack gave you the really good drugs. He apparently doesn't do anything half-assed. You stayed in recovery for observation yesterday afternoon and I brought you home yesterday evening."
"Don't remember," Sawyer grunted.
"That's alright." Aaron shrugged. "Everything went well. You've got a small cut down below where Jack fed the guide wire in, but overall, he was pleased. He deployed a tiny platinum coil in the area where the blood vessel was weak and reinforced the vessel walls with a stent. It took about 40 minutes. No complications. I'll show you the fluoroscopy pictures when you're a little more awake."
Sawyer glanced around at his surroundings with half-lidded eyes. Just as Aaron had said they were back down in the den.
"Big thing now is to rest and not get yourself too worked up so your blood pressure stays nice and chill while the stent settles. Same deal with reading, you need to try and not strain your eyes too much today. A little TV is okay though. Game of Thrones is also a TV show. I can set it up for you. I'll tell Jack and Kate you're not feeling well so they shouldn't really bother you." He paused. "Not that they really do anyway."
"Gotta go see Juliet," Sawyer complained, shifting on the pull-out bed so that he was laying on his back. His eyes were already starting to drift shut again.
"Not today," Aaron told him patiently. "You need to relax and sleep that stuff off. I'm on my way to work, shortly. I'll check in on her for you. She's gonna need you in tip top shape for when she wakes up. Ellie will be down to look in on you a little later, okay?"
Aaron realized he was asleep again before he finished his sentence.
It was lunchtime before Aaron was able to catch a break to visit the ICU.
"How's Sawyer?" Jack was sitting in the chair next to Juliet's bed doing a crossword puzzle, the book balanced on his knee.
"How the hell much midazolam did you slip him in recovery?" Aaron asked exasperated. He shook his head and laughed. "Not that I didn't enjoy the karaoke on the way home. I mean, he's not half bad—I can see where Jay gets it from, but geeze I think you snowed him into next week."
Jack smirked, glancing up from his book. "I thought it'd be good for Jay to see him and it was easier on both of them that way. Besides, that stent needs to set and Sawyer's not exactly known for his calm, pleasant demeanor. Didn't he take a swing at me like two days ago?"
"Oh he's calm now," Aaron assured as he pulled the heavy glass door to Juliet's room closed. "I had to check to see if he had a pulse this morning."
"Great, always good to keep up to date on your clinical skills," Jack told him unsympathetically.
Aaron snorted. "All of you are keeping me very up to date on my clinical skills. Psychiatry included."
Jack rolled his eyes and went back to his puzzle. After a moment, he tapped his pen against his chin. "Genere incorporating elements of funk and hip-hop—8 letters?"
"Acid jazz. How do you not know that?" Aaron grinned and shook his head as he moved to lean on the bed rail opposite to where Jack was sitting.
Jack stared at him incredulously. "This coming from the guy who had to Google who 'Anderson Cooper' was yesterday?
Aaron shrugged then smiled. "That was actually a pretty solid jab. I mean I looked at the picture…you do kind of have the glasses…and the hair. And I thought Jay's nicknames were good."
Jack's cheeks flushed. "There's nothing wrong with my hair." He said defensively. "Of course, if Jay had to inherit anything from Sawyer it would have to be that."
Juliet shifted the bed beside them. Her whimper caught their attention.
"Hey, easy there," Jack automatically stood and leaned over the bed rail to find that she had her hand wrapped around her chest tube. He gently plied her fingers away and replaced her hand back to her side. She twitched against his skin as he moved her, but didn't have the strength to resist.
"That needs to stay in for a little longer," he told her and her eyes fluttered open at the sound of his voice. They were glassy, but seemed to focus on him. He could tell she was awake from the way her heart rate rose suddenly and made the alarm on the monitor beep. The noise seemed to frighten her more.
"Juliet," he kept his hand covering hers, rubbing small circles with his thumb. "It's Jack," he said kindly and watched her eyes widen.
"What's her sedation running at?" Jack spoke over the alarm, jabbing at the monitor to silence it.
Aaron moved to study the infusion pump with a frown. "It's not. My guess is the obstetrics team decided it was safer for mom and baby that way. Claire's got a spinal cath in for pain control," he said quietly and then paused. "I assume you were talking to Claire and Ringer?"
"Yeah," Jack agreed and diverted his attention back to Juliet who was staring up at him with fear in her eyes.
"Hey there, Juliet." He reached to brush her hair out of her face and felt her tense. "You're in the hospital," he told her, withdrawing his hand. He frowned at how quickly she was breathing.
"It's alright." He assured in the calmest voice that he could muster.
"Hey, it's Jack. You know me," He tried again to reach for her, which only seemed to agitate her further. He sighed and set his hand back on the bed railing, looking down at her sadly.
"No offense, but you don't exactly look like your 38-year-old self—the Jack that she knows." Aaron explained.
"Well gee, thanks Pal." Jack huffed, knowing he was right. He subconsciously ran a hand through his gray hair. "What a day for Sawyer to be out of commission." He noticed Juliet seemed to brighten at the name.
"Yeah," Aaron agreed and motioned for Jack to join him in the far corner of the room.
"Ellie texted me a little while ago and said he's still extremely drowsy so I don't really want to bring him in today," He said in a low voice. "We could try Jay though. I mean think about it, he looks and sounds a lot like Sawyer. It might help settle her down a little bit."
"You think he'll be up for it?" Jack wondered and scratched the back of his neck. "I pushed him pretty hard yesterday."
"I know you did," Aaron agreed. "But, Jay needs a good shove once in a while and yeah I think he'll do it for her." He gestured to the vases of sunflowers decorating the windowsill. "He's been spending almost as much time here as we have."
Juliet was still painfully awake an hour later when Jay walked into the room with an uncomfortable look on his face.
Both Jack and Aaron had repeatedly tried to talk to her, but she would tense every time one of them got close. This would cause her heart rate to rise and agitate her more. At one point, she made another move to tug at the chest tube hanging out of her side and Jack was starting to worry they would soon have to tie her arms to the bed rails.
"Thanks for coming, Jay" Aaron smiled warmly at him.
He nodded and shrugged off his brown leather jacket, hanging it on the chair that Jack had vacated along with his messenger bag.
"How is she?" He looked between the two docs standing as far away from Juliet as possible.
"Scared and very disoriented." Aaron told him once he walked over to join them. "She's more awake now and in a strange place with tubes hanging out of her. I think she might recognize Jack's voice, but he doesn't look like the Jack she knows. It's scaring her and making things worse. I'm also a total stranger and haven't had much better luck."
"And ya think I'm gonna help that?" He looked between the pair incredulously. "Can't ya just give her some of the happy juice ya had him hopped up on yesterday?"
Aaron noticed how he curiously didn't call Sawyer by name.
"Well no…we can't." Jack hedged, looking between Jay and Aaron.
"And Sawyer's at the house recovering so we were hoping that you could… pretend to be him for a bit," Aaron added.
"Oh is that all?" His eyes flashed and he looked like he was trying to maintain his composure. "ARE YOU BOTH FUCKING RETARDED?" He erupted with such force that Aaron was sure half the support staff would swarm the room with the security team.
"James?" Juliet croaked weakly.
Jay closed his eyes and blew out an exaggeratedly long breath. He walked toward the foot of the bed with his head hung low.
"Hey there, Sunshine" He mustered in as much of a drawl as he could. He had spent nearly all his life in Los Angeles so the accent came out more forced than his Dad's ever had. It wasn't that he didn't have one, it was just subdued and typically only showed itself with certain phrases or when he was drunk and singing karaoke. The later always seemed to bring it out, much to Claire's amusement.
Juliet tried to reach for him, craving the contact, but her arm gave out halfway through the motion.
"I don't know what's going on," she breathed still sounding afraid. Her voice was hoarse from the endotracheal tube and lack of use. "There's someone here pretending to be Jack and I don't know what's wrong with me."
"He usually gets up there with her," Aaron whispered.
Jay shot him a drop-dead glare and turned his attention back to her.
"S'all right, Blondie yer in good hands." He tried to reassure her and continued to glower at Jack and Aaron, who were smiling back at him as he lowered the rail of the bed.
"I don't understand." He could see the tears welling up in her eyes and reached to pull her against his chest, feeling some of the tension leave her muscles as she clung to him and rested her head under his chin.
"I know." He agreed. "Yer in the hospital. Ya got hurt and have been asleep for a while. Ya had ta have some surgery. It's just the drugs makin' ya a bit confused."
"Oh. Don't you mean the infirmary?" she asked tiredly.
Jay cocked an eyebrow and glanced at Jack who motioned for him to play along.
"Sure," he corrected with an air of complete annoyance. "I mean the infirmary. Ding and Dong over there are some of yer doctors. Ya got a few of em', but don't be afraid. They might need ta poke at ya from time to time, but none of them are gonna hurt ya. I promise."
She titled her head so that her blue eyes met his own.
"Was it Peterson?" she asked after a moment. She had to press her tongue to the roof of her mouth to mask the wheezy cough that had hitched in the back of her throat. His hand instinctively slid behind her to rub her back.
"I'm sorry…what?" He blinked.
"…who…did…the surgery?" She managed after a few tries.
Jay was continuing to glare daggers as Jack slipped out of the room with a wave and a thumbs up.
"Nah, it wasn't fucking Peterson," he grumbled and tried to adjust himself against the pillows so that his neck didn't cramp.
"Who was it?"
Jay rubbed his temples in frustration. "Shephard…she's new. Excellent doc."
He could see Juliet's eyebrows furrow even though her eyes remained closed.
"You think she's related to Jack?" she asked sleepily.
"Who cares if she's related to Jackass," he snorted indignantly and Aaron had to fight the laugh that was tickling his throat.
"You'll get ta meet her later so ya can ask her yerself," he said to placate her.
Juliet made a small motion with her head, attempting to nod, but didn't have the energy to lift it from his chest. "Were you worried?" She asked after a while. He was sure she had drifted off.
"I was fucking terrified," Jay said with enough conviction that caused her to open her eyes and look at his face. She studied him for a long moment and then she frowned.
"When did you cut your hair?" She weakly managed to run her fingers through it, but just barely. It was cropped around his ears and lighter in colour than she remembered.
Jay winced. "This morning. Got tired of looking like a damn hippy. Now why don't you take a nice long nap, Blondie."
She yawned. "I won't tell Horace ya said that," she slurred and then went silent again. Neither Jay nor Aaron said anything for a good ten minutes as they waited to see whether she would stay asleep.
"Alright, I gotta get back to the OR," Aaron whispered, causing Jay's eyes to widen with annoyance.
"Who am I…the god damn nanny?" He whispered harshly and Aaron knew damn well he didn't mean it, but felt the need to lash out at someone.
"You're doing a great job with her, Jay. I'm sure your Dad would be proud." Aaron told him in a tone that completely disarmed the glower from his face.
He hung his head and wouldn't quite meet Aaron's eyes.
"Can ya at least pass me my damn laptop, Doc?" He whined and motioned to his messenger bag hanging on the chair.
"We are really starting to make a habit out of this," Claire told him when she stepped in the room to check in on Juliet after her shift.
Jay was still sprawled on Juliet's bed with her head on his chest and his MacBook Pro balanced awkwardly across his lap. "The wifi in here is shit," he grumbled by way of a greeting, not looking up from the email he was typing.
Claire paused, noticing the music playing in the background.
"Didn't take you for a…yeah… actually I have no clue what song that is," she laughed and listened again, unable to identify the song. She walked over to the bed.
"Petula Clark. She seems ta like it and she ain't pullin' at stuff," He explained.
"Well, that's the most round about way of saying you wanted to do something nice for someone that I've ever heard," Claire chuckled. "You should have brought your guitar. Your Mom loves it when you play."
He shot her a withering look and Claire raised her hands in mock surrender. "Alright, alright," she teased.
"How's she doing anyway? Dad texted to say she's a little more awake than she's been-and that she wasn't too happy to see him or Aaron."
Juliet stirred at the sound of Claire's voice.
"Hey, Juliet." Claire leaned in over Jay and very gently put her hand on her shoulder.
Jay could feel her muscles starting to tense so he placed his hand over Claire's. "S'alright," he told her. "She's one of yer docs who came to check on you."
Juliet groaned, but opened her eyes to look at Claire, clad in her OR greens and Garfield scrub cap. It hid most of her curly brown hair.
"Hi Juliet," she said softly. "I'm Dr. Claire Shephard and like Jay said, I'm one of the docs looking after you."
"James," Juliet corrected, her eyes lazily trying to focus on Claire. "His name's James," she slurred.
"Yeah, Dr. Freckles." Jay agreed, trying to give her a clue. He waggled his eyebrows at her with a look that clearly said 'I've had enough of this, but for fuck sake just play along'.
Use of the name 'Freckles' seemed to irritate Juliet. He turned the music up louder so that she could hear it better. Downtown—he knew it was one of her favourites.
"Ya like this one right?"
She hummed and gave a little nod. "S'nice."
"Okay, good."
"Juliet, are you in any pain right now?" Claire asked.
She shook her head, no. She felt exhausted, fuzzy, and very, very confused, but nothing seemed to hurt. She was more than content to curl into James and sleep for an eternity.
"That's really good. You had some surgery on your belly and back so I did some nerve blocks and you still have a spinal catheter in. I can give you some stronger medications through that if you need them." Claire explained. "Now I'm gonna get you to roll on your side so I can look at the incisions. Maybe James can help you?"
Claire locked eyes with Jay who glared back unpleasantly, but helped Juliet move so that Claire could inspect her back.
Juliet tolerated the exam with little complaint, paying more attention to the music than she was to Claire.
"Good. Healing really well," Claire assured, noticing Juliet had settled back into Jay's side and was already starting to doze again.
"You want me to bring you some supper?" She whispered to Jay. "I think yer gonna be hanging out here for a while."
"Better bring me ma damn laptop charger," he said resigned.
A/N: Just a little insight into Jay's personality/reactions on this one. It's not so much that Jay is finding it difficult to be with his mother (he's been sneaking in most nights to visit and bring her flowers), but he's taking big issue with the fact that Jack and Aaron have 1. pushed him out of his comfort zone when Sawyer was having his procedure done and 2. Are now asking him to impersonate his Dad, a role he likely had to fill in some way at a young age for Juliet after Future Sawyer died. His other issue is that he doesn't like deceiving Juliet even though he knows its in her best interest. He is very close with his Mom also tends to lash out when he's stressed, which is why more of Sawyer's personality traits are coming through at the moment. Hope you guys like that one. Thanks for all the feedback so far, please keep them coming and I'll keep updating. :)