Hi! Welcome back! I hope you all had a wonderful week and an amazing new year, nothing to say fornow, so enjoy chapter eleven!

Numb. That is all I felt. No sadness, no anger, nothing. Seeing Phil there, unconscious in a hospital bed because of me, I guess my mind just shut down. I didn't know how to feel so I didn't feel at all. I just sat their, staring at his lifeless body, his chest moving up and down in a steady rhythm. The nurses there probably took pity on me as I was told to leave at eleven pm and not at nine, like everyone else there seeing people. After all I had been through, all I wanted was to see his blue eyes. To see those beautiful blue eyes that brought so much love and happiness into my life but I knew I had to leave, I would probably stay there for two days straight with ought moving if I stayed.

And that leads to the present, standing on the pavement, waiting for my Uber to arrive in the cold, dark night. I defiantly look out of place against the few people walking past. Well, I guess you would get weird looks if you where in a posh outfit outside a hospital, looking as if I just saw a ghost and everyone else is in plain shirts and grubby jeans, rushing home with Tesco bags in hand. I looked around me, the night sky only scattered with a few clouds and th- HONK! I was immediately blasted away from my thoughts by a loud honk. I looked to my left to see a black taxi, complete with the illuminating taxi sight on top of the roof. I let out sigh as I walked over to the vehicle, opening the door and clambering in. "Where to kid" bellowed the driver, myself not daring to make eye contact with the person of the voice through the plastic glass with a mini tray where, I presume, you put your money. I mumbled the address, surprising myself as I felt the car drive off, the hospital slowly disappearing from view. This whole day, no, week has been crazy. How could something change in an instant? One second, I am sitting at a fancy diner with a family and the next, I am in a taxi leaving the hospital. It just makes you think, you have no control over you're life. We get thrown from situation to situation, the world not giving a dam if you are ready. Again and again we are forced to take on a new challenge. Whether it be the next hour, the next day or the next month, we always have something to overcome. I looked out into the streets, soon being replaced with a new looking building with a wooden door and two windows. The car abruptly stopped and I moved my hand into my pocket and putting the spare change on the mini tray, soon getting out of the car. I took a deep breath before starting to walk to the building, hearing the gently humming of the taxi's engine disappearing as I opened the wooden door.

The place was empty. The benches were empty and the platform outside seemed like a wasteland. I walked towards the window with a sign saying 'TICKETS' in big, bold letters over the top and looked in, seeing a rather exited looking employee behind the glass. "Hello! Welcome to Manchester Train station, where would you like to go today?" the man chirped, giving me a massive smile. "One way ticket on the next train to London please" I mumbled, looking around the room to avoid making eye contact with the man. "Sure, that will be thirty eight pounds and fifty pence" the employee continued, moving over to the ticket printing machine behind him. Crap, I didn't bring any cash...hmm. When the man came back, he placed the ticket in front of him, waiting probably for my money. I reached back into my pocket and pulled out a scrap piece of paper, looking up at the man. "Can I borrow a pen?" I asked, the man soon reaching his hand to his pocket and returning with a black pen with 'Manchester Train station" written in orange letters and passing it to me through the metal slit in the glass. I quickly grabbed the pen and started writing, soon putting the paper through the metal along the pen. "Charge it to this account" I murmured, the man slipping the ticket through the slit. I quickly took the ticket and got onto the platform, stuffing it into my back pocket. Sam got me into this mess, he's going to pay to get out of it.

It was oddly silent on the platform. There was this light smell of petrel in the air and the bright neon street lights were the only things bringing light to the gum covered, concrete floor. No one was there as well, just me in the deadly silence. I sighed as I looked at the floor, stuffing my hands in my trouser pockets. How could I have done this to him though? I though that I would be the one to have a complete melt down but how could I let Phil do it? If I hadn't of gotten into his life in the first place then he wouldn't be in this situation. In some sort of coma in a hospital, looking as if he is going to die any second, he would be at his apartment, probably with someone that is kind to him. Someone that would make him some soup when he was sick, someone that would cuddle up with him on the sofa with some cheesy Disney movie, someone that wouldn't be so selfish as to go and pretend to love someone. He deserves someone like that, not me. A person that would constantly whine about something, a person that would sit around all day and do nothing, a person that wouldn't be there for him when he needed me most. He doesn't deserve a broken person like me.

I could feel my eyes begin to water as another light came into view. I looked up to see two head lights coming towards me, soon passing me and grinding to a halt. It took me a while but I soon focused on the plain grey train, it's doors opening just in front of me. I sighed and wiped the tears from my eyes as I entered the carriage, turning to my left and sitting down in a mini sort of booth. The walls were a plain cream colour and the chairs were this sort of dark red colour, accompanied with a grey table coming out of the wall bellow a long window. Like the platform, no one was on the train, just me again. I looked out of the window, seeing the now empty platform begin to disappear as we started to move.

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I got up from my seat as the train began to come to a halt. "Last stop, London, hope you have a nice day" said the lifeless sound of the voice over. I started to walk towards the doors, opening up to reveal a grey platform with about five people scattered around it. I hopped off the train, trudging through the platform to the massive stone stairs. I could see the early golden morning light at the top. I could hear the early morning crowd at the top, chatting about someone's baby and business managers yelling in their mobile phones as they try and explain when the next shipment is coming in. As soon as I reached the bustling street as the end of the steps. I stood still for a minute, taking in the golden light before walking forward and hailing a taxi. The familiar black cab with a sign saying taxi on top soon stopped infront of me. I clambered in, looking down at the floor as I murmured Phil's address. He would probably like some of his stuff when he wakes up in that bland hospital. I could feel the taxi turn off the pavement and onto the road, the train station disappearing out of sight. Luckily, the driver didn't bother to make small talk, but I wouldn't either. If you were a driver picking up a man that had a suit on early in the morning, you wouldn't exactly be sprinting to go talk to them. I just looked at the floor the entire time, not daring to look up. Before I knew it, the taxi stop, forcing me to look up and out of the window. I saw something I thought I would never see again.

I saw the familiar sight of the square with an apartment complex just in front of the car door. I was completely frozen. "Sir". I turned my head from the window to the driver as he was now turned to me with his hand out. My eyes widened as I searched my back pocket again, trying to find any left over change. Thankfully, I found some and quickly stuffed it into the drivers hand before he could argue about anything. I practically jumped out of the car and ran into the apartment building, not bothering to pay attention to any of the pedestrians walking in the lobby, slowing down as I reached the stairs and began to climb them. I knew it would be a long time to get there, it was over four floors! How could I not take more than thirty minutes, especially considering my athletic level. It was as if it was never ending. There were always more stairs before I finally reached his floor. It felt kind of weird being back here. The same stains on the brown carpet and the walls still their normal dull cream colour, oh the memories we have created here. The time when Phil got a bit too drunk and nearly puked out of the taxi window, I had to practically lug him up the stairs to his apartment. Heh, he stuck to me like a koala all through the night, even when he was asleep. Yeah, it was a bit annoying but his cute little face just took it all away. All of a sudden, I was still standing at the top of the stairs, smiling like a big dopey idiot as I remembered the fond memory, staring at the floor. I shook my head before starting to walk to his door.

I knew he had a spare key, just in case he accidently knocked himself out. I looked all around it before seeing a gold glisten in the corner of his metal number sheet, twitching my head to the side as I reached my hand towards it. Behind the metal was a golden key, practically gleaming in the light. It wasn't that hard to pull out, a quick tug and it swiftly fell into my hand, putting it in the key hole and turning it. The door slowly opened, revealing a small hallway to lead into another room. I carefully walked down the hallway, discovering the sofa and TV looking just as I remember it. I could feel my mouth form a smile as I walked over to it, sitting down on the sofa as I carried on looking around the room.

"Come on Dan, you have to admit NewBorn is the best song by Muse!" Phil exclaimed as I sat with him on the sofa "say what you want, I will never have a favourite song" I answered, rolling my eyes at Phil's pouted face. "But you have to admit that it is good" he urged, kneeling beside me on the sofa. "I will admit, it is a good song but it is not my favourite nor will I ever have a favourite" I answered. Just as I looked away for two seconds, I found Phil on my lap. I looked at him in astonishment before he went limp and cuddled his head into my neck. "Why are you so stubborn" I heard him murmur, making me stifle out a laugh. "That's just my personality babe" I giggled. "I know but it makes my life so hard" I heard Phil say, sounding exhausted. I giggled again before wrapping my arms around him, pulling him into a hug "Well, at least I am not a massive dork like you" I mocked, already Phil trying to remove himself from my grasp to argue.

I was soon snapped out of reality, shaking my head as I got up, quickly making my way to the closest door. I pulled open the brown wooden door and stepped inside, my eyes immediately widening as I recognised the light grey carpet. I carried my gaze up till I was met with the familiar bright blue and green bed sheets and multi colour pictures along the walls. Phil's bedroom.

"Dan...Dan...Dan, wake up" a soft voice said from behind me. My eyes still closed, I turned over in the bed to towards the voice, opening my eyes to see the familiar raven haired boy looking back at me. I closed my eyes before reaching my arm out, wrapping it around his waist as I pulled him closer to me. I could hear him giggle into my bare chest, feeling him look up at me. "Come on Dan, we need to get up" Phil giggled, making almost no effort to wriggle out of my grasp. "Just a few more minutes" I murmured, pulling him just that tiny bit closer to me. "Dan! We've got a lot to do today" Phil argued, once again giggling into my chest. "It can wait" I replied, my mouth forming a smirk. "Fine, but just a few more minutes" Phil decided, snuggling into my chest as the golden light shone from the window into the bedroom.

I, once again, found myself smiling at the fond memory as I looked around the room before stopping at the window. I could see the sky begin to get lighter and the stars beginning to disappear from the pure dark night. I sighed as I turned my gaze to the bed. It wouldn't hurt to rest here till morning. I mean, I would sleep for the night, pack Phil's bag then go to Manchester to see him...,wait, I didn't bring any pyjamas. I guess I can borrow something from Phil. I looked from the bed to the wooden draws, walking towards them. I opened the second draw and pulled out a massive red hoodie with the word 'YORK' written across it, taking off my jeans and my shirt, swiftly putting the jumper on. I was immediately entranced by Phil's sent, smiling at the little things I miss about him. I soon walked to Phil's bed, lightly putting my self under the bright bed sheets before I turned onto my side. I smiled as I pulled my head down, sniffing the Phil scented jumper. It was quite funny, the smell and the warmth felt almost as if he was here cuddling me. Almost.

Author's Notes

Hey! Welcome to the bottom! So, I know this came out late but I have been a bit busy with some personal stuff with Christmas and New Years, it has all been hectic but, I wanted to tell all of you that I have an Amino account! I will be putting stuff up there soon but busy busy! It would be amazing if you follow me because I could then publish updates, ask for your help or even put up polls for certain details or upcoming fanfictions! If you would like to find me, my name is Phanie. Now, the boring stuff, chapters will be out in 1-2 weeks but comments, faves, reads and saves will get them out quicker! But for now,

Goodbye my Rose's