The NSFW version of this story is available on AO3. Same title, same username.

The light's different when Emma opens her eyes. Her window is above her bed, not across from it. She's warm, wrapped in blankets that have a heady masculine scent, and her body aches pleasantly. She sits up slowly, holding the blankets to her naked chest and looks around the room. Memory returns and she feels her face warm even as she smiles.

Bodies wrapped around each other, lips teasing skin, a long and hard drag sending her to the stars.

She doesn't want to think about how nice it felt to fall asleep in his arms, or the soothing way he'd played with her hair, or even the tenderness in his eyes when she'd been in his lap and he had almost begged her to tell him how to please her one more time. Maybe she's been out of the game a little too long, but she can't remember if any of the handful of men she'd gone out with ever looked at or treated her that way before. Maybe Neal or Walsh had, once upon a time, but her fairy tales always had tragic endings.

No romantic, ride-into-the-sunset happily ever afters for Emma Swan.

The sound of the door opening brings her out of these thoughts she doesn't want to think. Her head snaps up as Killian looks in almost cautiously. He's already dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. "You're awake," he says softly.

"Yeah, looks like it." Her voice is husky from sleep and maybe a little bit from how many times he'd made her scream his name. "How long was I out?"

It's hard to see his face clearly in the dimming light, but she can hear the smile in his voice, "Little more than an hour, mhuirnín. And your phone has been a bit busy."

He comes in to drop her dry clothes on the bed and tosses her phone her way. Emma refuses to get flustered over Killian taking her clothes out of the dryer for her. You fucked him already, seeing your old granny panties can't screw that possibility up now, she tells herself as she flicks through at least ten texts and five missed calls from David and Mary Margaret. The bed dips behind her as he sits. "Is everything alright?" he asks.

"Overprotective family. Current assumption is I'm either dead on the side of the road or you've murdered me, chopped me into little pieces, and hid them in the woods," Emma says wryly and calls Mary Margaret back.

She sucks in a breath when she feels his hand on her back and his fingers start to trace patterns onto her skin. "What are you doing?" she hisses.

"Nothing," Killian says innocently. He takes her free hand and lifts her arm; his breath is warm on her skin and his beard tickles. "Talk to your sister."

Emma looks up in a silent plea for strength against the warm shivers his touch sends through her. He starts kissing down the length of her arm and she wants to lean into it; she sucks in a breath when his mouth finds her tattoo, his tongue swirling around it. Finally, Mary Margaret answers the phone. "Emma, are you alright?"

Emma takes a deep breath and clears her throat. "Yeah, I'm fine. Phone got soaked so I had it in a bag of rice," she lies easily. Killian's hands - of course he's not going to make this easy - run up and down her sides and hips as she talks. Emma bites the inside of her lip to keep from making a sound as he cups her ass, his thumb grazing the split between her cheeks. She reaches back and smacks his hands away and he chuckles softly.

"Then why didn't you just use… Oh, nevermind. Dinner's in an hour if you're hungry," Mary Margaret tells her.

Killian has now laid down behind her, his beard scraping lightly against her hip as he presses small kisses along her thigh. "Okay. Let me just - ahhhh, fuck, knock it off!" Emma says without thinking as he bites her gently.

"What's wrong?" Mary Margaret asks.

Emma's face is burning as she shifts a little further out of Killian's grasp. He's undeterred, following her and wrapping one arm around her waist to keep her still as he traces a pattern over the red mark with his tongue. It's annoying and kind of hot and Jesus she's glad she called Mary Margaret and not David. "Killian has cats, one of them likes to bite," she says, twisting to glare down at him. He flashes a quick grin before going back to kissing her.

Mary Margaret hums thoughtfully. "I didn't know you liked cats."

Killian's lips are really distracting, and now the hand on the arm he's got wrapped around her is starting to wander too. "They're okay. Look, let me just get my clothes and I'll be home," Emma says and immediately winces at her choice of words. Killian stills.

Mary Margaret is slow to answer. "Emma?"

"They were in the dryer."

"Emma."

"It was raining buckets, we both got drenched, he let me borrow something to wear while my stuff dried. He was a gentleman."

Killian's silent laugh vibrates against her skin. She huffs. Well, he had been, just… not in the way she was making it out to be. Mary Margaret makes a disbelieving noise on her end of the line. "Should I count an extra person for dinner?"

Emma grits her teeth. "I'm hanging up now."

"I did say he's a nice guy who is single, didn't I?"

"Goodbye, Mary Margaret."

"Tell Killian I said hello."

Emma hangs up with a huff. "Cat's out of the bag, then," Killian then says, propping himself up.

"Not if I can help it," she grumbles and flings the covers off of herself, getting out of bed.

She dresses in a bit of a rush, ignoring the way he's watching her. She sees him in the mirror that's hanging over his dresser, though, dark eyes with darker promises that make her want to climb right back into bed with him. The mirror also reveals the small collection of hickeys he's left on her chest. She's only glad she's got a dark shirt on under her jacket. Her hair is some crazy mix of slept-in, air-dried, sex hair and she scowls at herself in the mirror while she assesses how to handle it without a brush. "Do I need to go down to the tack room and get a comb for you?" Killian asks teasingly.

Emma sighs and bends over, whipping her hair up into some sort of topknot. "This will have to do," she says.

She hears him get off the bed as she's tying off her mess of hair - she should really cut it, it's getting ridiculous - and his hands are on her waist again as she straightens. He pulls her against him and she fights the urge to moan appreciatively at the way they fit together. "I need to go," she says breathily.

"You're a tease," he murmurs in her ear, rolling his hips into her ass.

She's about to reply that no, it's only being a tease when you don't intend to follow through, but then she remembers that she doesn't intend to follow through. This can't go on past today. She has her job, she has her family, the farm, she has… well, she's working on getting Henry back and it's slow-going, but he's at least responding to text messages now and they didn't kill each other in the car on Sunday. She has responsibilities, she can't go getting lost in some man only to find out he's grown bored of her and wind up with her heart broken again.

Even if she is the one who usually walks out first, it doesn't mean she's not hurt by it.

Then Killian's mouth is on her neck again and Emma wants to melt into his arms and say fuck everything: fuck her rules, fuck responsibilities, and (most importantly) fuck him. "Killian, really." She's actually really proud of the way she managed to form two whole words without moaning. "I need to go and this needs to sto-aaahp," she whines, dragging the vowel out as he licks just under her ear - how the hell did he already know that was her weak spot?

"Mmhm," is all he says, nosing around her hairline and the little puffs of hot air on her neck sending shivers of anticipation down her spine.

She needs to get a grip or else they're just going to stay right here in his bedroom forever. "Killian, stop. I mean it." He doesn't sigh or make any other noise of disappointment - which is good because she really doesn't want another bruising for punching someone in the face - only releases her. Emma steps away and takes a deep breath to get her hormones to calm down. She's reconsidering the punch at the slightly smug curl of his lips, but the return of the tender look in his eye makes her pause. And it really hurts to think of what she has to say next. "Thank you," Emma says. "For…"

"The best sex of your life, it's okay to say it," Killian says, the smile turning into a grin.

She does punch him this time, in the shoulder, and he grimaces. "Don't get cocky. It was pretty good," she admits, and he laughs. "But that's all it was, okay?" The amusement in his face fades as he tries to figure out what she means. She shifts her weight a little. "This was a one-time thing. I can't - I don't do - It was fun, but that's all it was."

She isn't sure if she imagines the shadow that flickers across his face or not. "Scratched the itch," Killian says softly.

"Yeah. Something like that." God, this sucks, but it's for the best.

Emma can't help but feel like the soft smile he gives her is fake. Killian holds the door open for her and sweeps his arm to guide her out. "As you wish, Swan. Still, we had our fun, didn't we?"

Her own smile isn't all that real as she heads down the stairs. He's doing that thing where he sounds all final again and it makes all of this hurt worse. She likes having him around, pain in the ass that he can be. She's not saying they can't be friends, she just…

She just can't have her heart broken again.

"Today was fun," Emma says instead as they go into the kitchen. One of the cats is sniffing her boots suspiciously. They're hopelessly wet still, so putting them on again kind of really sucks. "I mean it, I had a good time."

He's leaning on the door frame, one eyebrow cocked in amusement. "Say it enough times and I might actually believe it, Swan."

She rubs the cat's ears - did Killian ever mention their names? - and is affectionately chirped at before it goes wandering off. She straightens. "I just - I don't want you getting the wrong idea," she says and it feels really stupid.

Now his brow furrows. "We had a dalliance," he says and of course he uses words like dalliance in everyday conversation, what even. "We're both adults here, Emma, we knew what we were getting into."

Then why do I feel like I don't?! she wants to scream, but she keeps herself in check. She's tired. She'll have her head on straight after some food and a good night's sleep. Killian holds out her car keys and she takes them, maybe a little too swiftly, and fiddles with her keychain before saying, "Just… don't leave, okay?"

She bolts out the door and into the drizzle before he can ask what she means.

Mary Margaret's singing along to her Shania Twain playlist when Emma gets home twenty minutes later. Emma almost laughs at the way Leo's walking around with his hands over his ears and she turns down the volume a little. "What's the occasion?" she asks, nodding to the bottle of wine and the boxes of pizza on the counter.

"I am celebrating," Mary Margaret declares and now Emma does giggle at the dramatic way she flings her arms wide. "It's summer vacation, I refuse to cook, and the only children I have to look after are my own and Regina's for the next three months."

"And your other students," Emma reminds her, but Mary Margaret flaps her hand at her.

"They don't count, it's ninety minutes a few times a week."

Emma peels off her jacket, carefully making sure her shirt collar stays where it's supposed to be. "And what's this about Regina's kids? Henry and Roland are going to be here?"

She helps Mary Margaret bring everything into the dining room; Leo is given the task of bringing the paper plates and his own juice cup. "Henry's got his own thing going on, but I saw Regina today when she came in to pick up Roland. She wanted to know if I knew of any good daycare services," Mary Margaret explains. "Apparently, Marian's working days at the hospital now and with Robin teaching a summer course and then going on that research trip in a few weeks, there's not going to be anyone around to keep an eye on Roland most days. So I said we'd keep Roland whenever we could - I mean, he and Leo are the same age, in the same class, and it'll be nice for Leo to have a friend to play with all the time too." Emma nods, silently waiting for Mary Margaret to finish her rambling - always a sign that there was something she wanted to say but was nervous about actually saying. "They can keep each other busy so someone's not always watching them and we can get those repairs done on the farm. And I thought it might be good practice to have a couple of kids running around."

Emma's eyebrows go up. Mary Margaret smiles nervously. "You're trying for another kid?" Emma asks softly.

"We've talked about it for a while. Leo's going to be six soon, so he'll be getting more independant and I can concentrate on a baby."

Emma nods at the bottle of wine. "And that's okay?"

Mary Margaret nods and picks some wine glasses out of the china cupboard. "One night won't hurt. And after the last couple of weeks I've had, I need one night to blow off some steam, and then I'll hop on the sobriety wagon."

Emma smiles slyly as Mary Margaret pours them both glasses and Leo climbs up into his chair. "So I shouldn't remind you that you still have two inservice days this week."

"Please, after the environment projects we did all this month, inservice days are nothing."

The back door slams, announcing David's arrival. Emma doles out the pizza as they hear him washing up. He sighs loudly when he enters the dining room. "Out of the box, really?"

Mary Margaret glances at him sharply over her glass of wine. "And paper plates. I'm doing as few dishes tonight as possible, buster, so sit down or go make yourself dinner."

David kisses her on the cheek. "You're right, my dear, I'm sorry."

She smiles triumphantly and Emma pretends to gag. David's brow furrows curiously. "You didn't look like that when you left, did you? You're all… disheveled."

Mary Margaret looks just short of delighted. "Yes, Emma, why are you so disheveled this evening?"

Emma takes a bite of pizza and swallows, pointedly looking both of them in the eye as she answers, "Because Maine forgot it's not the freaking rainforest. Or did it not rain on this side of town today?"

David raises his eyebrow. "Defensive much?"

Emma grumbles into her own wine glass. "Mary Margaret needs to add a quarter to her hope jar."

"Is it so bad that I might think -"

"Yes, it's bad. Stop thinking it," Emma cuts her off. "Can we please talk about something else now?"

David and Mary Margaret trade a look before David launches into the details of the finalized plans for renovating one of the barns and Emma only half-listens as she eats. She and Mary Margaret end up splitting the bottle of wine between themselves and after dinner, Emma volunteers to get Leo ready for bed. If she's avoiding being in the same room as her brother or sister-in-law, she tries not to think about it too much. It's easier than having Mary Margaret pick at her about what really happened that afternoon - not that she's ashamed of sleeping with Killian. It's just that Mary Margaret has a tendency to jump from point A to point J really quickly and leave everyone else wondering how she got there. Emma doesn't want Mary Margaret to overthink this, because there is no 'this'.

She and Leo play a rousing game of dinosaurs versus Ninjago before bath time and then he falls asleep during The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. She manages to slip up to the attic without anyone noticing, deciding to forgo a shower until the morning - conveniently when David and Leo will already be at the track and Mary Margaret will be at her inservice day.

Emma sits on her bed with a comb and begins attacking her hopelessly snarled hair. Maybe she should start to seriously think about getting it cut. Then again, she's only saying this now that she's put it through the wringer. Who knew Killian had a thing for hair? Her face warms - well, she did, the number of lame (or not-so-lame) excuses he's had over their acquaintance to play with her hair should attest to that. Even so, the thought of him taking it a step further, taking it in handfuls and pulling (controlling the way you suck him off, her traitor mind says) sends a shock of arousal through her. She almost smiles - seriously, how can she even think about being horny after today? - but reality threatens to crash around her as she remembers that there will definitely not be another opportunity to feel how rough he could be with her.

Her phone buzzes, bringing her out of her 's an unfamiliar number on her screen with a text: 'Emma its Anna I got ur number from Elsas phone sry if thats weird can u come in rly early tmrw?'

Emma blinks a few times, then taps out her response: 'Yeah, something wrong?'

Anna's reply is almost immediate. 'We need 2 talk abt smthng, pls pls pls don't tell Elsa'

'OK'. Emma sets her phone down after Anna replies with at least ten smilies and resumes her assault on her hair. Well, at least thinking about what Anna could possibly have to talk to her about that's so secret is a nice distraction from reminiscing about that afternoon.

In the morning, Emma detours from her usual pattern and heads down into the locker rooms. Anna's shouting in rapid Spanish to some of the jocks when she pokes her head in the room. (Hey, it may have taken Emma a few weeks to pick up that Killian's second language was Irish, but she definitely took Spanish in high school. Even if she only retained 'hola' and 'taco' she knows it when she hears it.) Anna grins broadly when she spots Emma. She sends the jocks off and walks around the counter. "Hi, sorry about that, it's so good to see you!" Anna says, grabbing Emma's hand and going into the hallway.

"Hey," Emma says, taking her hand back maybe a little too quickly but Anna's unwavering friendliness is a little unnerving so early in her day. "What's with all the top secret stuff?"

Anna's smile wavers a bit but doesn't fall. "Oh, that. Well, you see it's just that there's a tiny little problem and I just wanted you to make sure Elsa has a calm day today, because I think she's not going to handle a lot of things well? Yesterday was kind of a rough day and if everything could go smoothly today I think it could help keep her calm and then there won't be any problems and then maybe when we get home we can talk a little more about the situation with Kristoff and -"

"Whoa," Emma cuts her off. "Okay. Step back, breathe, start again. What happened yesterday?"

This time Anna's smile does fall a little. "Kristoff's contract is up next year. He's talking about going back home to Colorado, if they'll take him. He came home last night asking if it would be okay to have his agent start putting the word out."

Emma winces in sympathy. "Geez, that sucks. I'm sorry, Anna."

Anna shifts uncomfortably. "He - He wanted to know if I would go with him."

"So, wait, how is this a problem?" Emma asks, confused. Her track record with relationships sucks but she knows a good thing when she sees it. "Anna, that's great!"

Anna smiles uncomfortably, wringing her hands while she looks around the deserted hallway. "Please don't mention this to anyone, especially Elsa," she says softly. "She doesn't like people knowing, even though I've told her over and over again that it's okay and nothing to be ashamed of, but you know how sisters can be." Emma doesn't, not exactly, but she nods anyway. Anna glances around again. "Elsa has multiple sclerosis. She was diagnosed really early, that happens sometimes. Most of the time she's fine, but some days are worse than others and she needs someone around to help here and there. All of her doctors are here, they all know her case and the proper treatments for all of her symptoms. Elsa's my sister and she's the only family I have left. I can't just… I can't leave her to fend for herself."

Emma wants to sit down, but there's nowhere for her to do so. She leans against the wall instead. "She can't just go with you?"

Anna shrugs. "She would if I asked, but I'm worried about… Elsa has a hard time trusting new people. You're the first person in a long time she's taken to so quickly. Doctors are a different story, I don't want to put her through that and potentially set her back months. So just - please make sure she's okay today."

Emma nods and Anna beams at her. The younger woman moves to go back inside the locker rooms but Emma catches her wrist. "Thank you for telling me," she says. "If you need - if there's anything else I can do, please let me know."

Anna turns her hand over and squeezes Emma's in silent thanks.

Emma snags a cup of coffee from the offices and goes to stand outside against the rail. Morning workouts are finishing up and the jockeys begin to replace the horses on the track. She nods at faces she knows, exercise boys and jocks alike. She's seen them at this daily for weeks now on the monitors, running the track once or twice before going in for last-minute weigh-ins, but it's the first time she sees it up close. They rib each other good-naturedly, tossing out insults in Spanish and English as they put in earbuds and pace themselves up the stretch - it's not a race, not this early in the day. Save the competition for later.

Her thoughts drift to Henry and how he'd been running the oval last weekend. He'd said in the car on Sunday that he was just trying different ways to get into better shape, that he needed to be stronger to handle better horses. She didn't disagree with that; handling a 1,600 pound animal required strength. And jocks ran the oval plenty, a completely normal way to stay in shape. But Emma remembers Jefferson and worry gnaws at her heart.

The fragile bubble of happiness she'd built yesterday is popping and she doesn't like it.

"Swan?"

She doesn't jump like she might usually at the intrusion into her thoughts. It scares her how just hearing his voice can make her smile and take the edge off her worry. Emma glances over her shoulder. "Morning, Jones."

Killian comes to stand by her at the rail. The jocks are rounding the clubhouse turn. "Bit dull compared to the usual, innit?"

She laughs softly. "Yeah, just a bit."

"Are you okay?"

"Peachy," Emma says, and she takes a drink.

He hums in disbelief. "I don't know if you've noticed, love, but you have a habit of saying that when you might not entirely be - as you say - 'peachy'."

She's definitely going to raise the number of people who can read her like a book to two. Even David isn't this good - or maybe he is and just does that stupid waiting game thing all the time, whereas Killian likes annoying her too much. "Just some stuff going on," she says instead. "I've been sworn to secrecy, though, sorry."

Killian nods, bracing himself on his forearms on the rail. "Fair enough. If there's anything I can do to help, though, just let me know."

Emma swallows the surge of affection that's rising in her chest. "You don't even know what it is," she protests.

He shrugs, his eyes on the jockeys heading down the backstretch to the final turn. "If you care about it enough to worry, then it's important. That's reason enough, Swan."

Killian's face is completely serious and it's scary but calming all at once. He gets her in ways she's never been understood in the past, as with yesterday's talk about what makes something home when you've never really had one. (His are his cats. Hers? Right now it's a little boy who loves dinosaurs, a teenager with stubborn dreams and a terrifying yet kind mother, a pregnant horse, and a family kind enough to take in a sullen, broken young woman.) Emma has this suspicion that she could say she needed anything - a ride to the border, a getaway car, someone to pick up Leo from daycare, help hiding a body - and all he'd ask was what time and where. She doesn't know what she's done to earn that kind of loyalty but it's more than a little terrifying - even more terrifying than the way she felt better just by hearing him say her name. She clears her throat, thumbing the edge of her styrofoam coffee cup. "Well… thanks. I'll keep that in mind."

She glances back up at him as he does the same to her. The corner of his mouth is curling up into that annoyingly smug grin of his, and yet she's still drawn to him like a freaking magnet. She swore she wouldn't do this again, but her hand is already fisting in his shirt, pulling him down scant inches to meet her lips. The tension that'd been building at the base of her neck vanishes as she breathes him in, feels the soft tease of his lips against hers, his soft sigh music to her ears. It feels good, it feels right, why the hell is she fighting this? His hand comes up to cup the back of her head, his tongue teasing her lips to open, when two things happen: a pack of wolf-whistles and taunts in multiple languages erupts to her right and a girlish gasp of delight sounds from her left.

Reality crashes in again as Emma pulls away quickly. This can't happen again, she can't get distracted and hurt again. The jockeys laugh and file back in through the gates - a few Emma know ride regularly for Killian come by to slap their boss good-naturedly on the back, which only furthers her mortification at being caught in some serious PDA. She's desperately wishing the ground would just open up and swallow her when Elsa slips her arm through Emma's. "Mr. Jones," Elsa greets, smiling brightly.

"Miss Adgarssen," he says, nodding at her. Emma can't quite look him in the face now, her cheeks burning.

"I'll be taking Emma now, if that's alright with you," Elsa says with no small amount of amusement in her tone.

He nods again. "Aye, I'll - I'll see you later then."

Emma doesn't reply as she's practically dragged away. She glances up at Elsa, who is wearing a rather thick pair of glasses, but other than that shows no signs that she might be upset like Anna had thought. Then again, she can be a bigger gossip than Ruby, Emma thinks wryly, so maybe walking in on her and Killian kissing has cheered Elsa up significantly. "Don't say anything to Ruby," Emma says.

Elsa almost pouts. "Oh, but why? You and Mr. Jones are adorable together."

"Yeah, that's the thing, there's no 'together', there's just - there's no me and Killian."

Elsa arches an eyebrow at her. "It looked like there was a you-and-Killian to me."

"Get a new prescription," Emma grumbles and then she immediately feels bad until Elsa starts laughing.

Ruby's already in the control room when they arrive. She looks like the cat that's got the canary and there's a sinking feeling in Emma's stomach. "Elsa. Emma," Ruby says knowingly.

"Ruby," Emma says warily, going to her chair. Elsa, traitor that she is, murmurs something about hot water for tea and vanishes out the door again.

Ruby spins her seat around to face Emma. Emma is strongly reminded of some supervillain, like Dr. Evil or Dr. Claw - seriously, who was giving out in evil? - and the only thing missing is some animal for Ruby to stroke menacingly. "Emma, what's the spin on the paddock camera?"

"Not a full three-sixty, maybe like three-fifty," Emma replies and it kind of comes out like a question.

Now Ruby is smirking, looking extra dangerous with her blood red lipstick and sharply winged eyeliner. "Correct. Please look at the paddock camera screen."

Killian is still standing where she and Elsa left him, leaning on the fence and staring up at the sky. She doesn't want to zoom in and see his expression - wondering if it's anything like how she's feeling, confused and giddy and content all at once - but she has a pretty good guess as to how long the camera's been positioned there. "Ruby," Emma starts, but the screen flickers and she belatedly remembers that the cameras are always recording.

As Ruby hits play, Emma can't help it: she leans in a little to see the replay better. Elsa returns and she, too, leans in to look better. "We're kind of hot," Emma says finally.

"Thank you," Ruby says. "Now, why aren't you and cowboy knocking boots already?"

"We aren't -"

Elsa sits, ripping open a new tea bag and dipping it in her mug. "You haven't even thought about it?"

"I mean, I can't say that -"

"Seriously, girl, get on that before someone else does! At least ride him around the corral once. For me. Please," Ruby begs.

Emma holds up her hands. "If both of you don't let me talk, I'm not telling either of you anything again! This doesn't leave the room. Breathe a word to anyone and I make your life a living hell. Yes, Killian and I kissed," she says, ignoring the way Ruby teases her about using his first name, "but that's it. Nothing further will happen."

Ruby sighs dramatically. "You're no fun. And what the hell is that smell?"

Elsa holds up her mug. "Ssanghwa cha. It tastes better than it smells, I promise."

Ruby wrinkles her nose anyway. Emma uses the opportunity of the spotlight away from her to do her morning chores. Victor and Jefferson come in and Ruby tires of the silence enough to start chattering about the getaway she and Victor are going on over Independance Day weekend. The day goes by smoothly, with no further mention of any exploits by anyone - not that Victor didn't try at one point, but Emma put her foot down before he could really get going. Emma also keeps her promise to Anna and makes sure Elsa is okay, who seems fine enough, but what does Emma know about MS?

They're closing up shop for the day when Ruby gets that look in her eye again. "So… I think we need a drink-and-dish session," she says.

Emma sighs heavily. "Ruby, no one says that."

"Clearly, I just did, and you know what I meant by it. Girl's night!"

Elsa pinches the bridge of her nose. "I don't think I can tonight."

Despite knowing she's turning it down for bad reasons, Emma feels a wave of affection for Elsa. "And we work tomorrow. And the next day," she tells Ruby. "Remember how our last girl's night went?"

Ruby scowls. "Neither of you are any fun. Fine. Saturday, though, we are going out, or I swear to God I will spend all day Monday singing "Out Tonight" from RENT."

Victor pokes his head in from the camera room. "She means it, too. It won't be pretty."

Emma makes a face. "If I slip a horse tranquilizer in her coffee, how much trouble will I be in?"

"She has decided she doesn't like either of you anymore, so she is leaving," Ruby declares, gathering her things and standing up with a huff.

"Don't be like that, babe."

"Get your own ride home, Victor."

As Ruby stalks off down the hall, the sound of her heels fading into the distance, Victor just shakes his head and mutters something about taping cables, going back into the camera room. Elsa sighs. "She'll get over it."

Emma stands up with a groan, reaching above her head to stretch. "I don't think she's mad, not really. She's just annoyed I won't talk about you-know-what."

Elsa shrugs, and Emma isn't sure if she's mentally exaggerating how slowly Elsa gets to her feet. "Personally, I don't see why you and… erm, I mean, why there isn't anything going on," Elsa amends. "I could see the interest, even a few weeks ago."

Emma shrugs and picks up both of their purses - is she imagining the wry look on Elsa's face as Emma hands Elsa her purse or not? "I'm the problem," Emma says quietly as they leave. The guys can finish up their cable issues and lock up, she trusts them. "I don't do relationships, not anymore. He'll get bored of me and then I'll have to leave so I'm not quite as broken as I could be and I honestly just don't want to deal with that."

Elsa hums thoughtfully. "Can't you just hook up once and get it out of the way?"

That startles a laugh out of Emma. "Sorry, just... never thought you'd refer to something as a hook up," she says to Elsa's curious look. "And no. I have a feeling it wouldn't go over that easily."

Emma misses the way Elsa's eyes narrow for a moment before she gasps. "You already slept with him!" Elsa practically shrieks and Emma slaps her hand over Elsa's mouth.

"I swear to God, Elsa, if you tell anyone, no one will find your body," she hisses.

Elsa grabs Emma's free hand and drags her into an empty judging booth, locking the door behind them. "Okay, what the hell is going on with you?" Elsa demands. "Straight, non-vague answers, please."

Emma grits her teeth and her head falls back in frustration. "Why is everyone I know some sort of detective?" she asks no one in particular. "This doesn't -"

"Leave the room," Elsa finishes. "Yes, you've said that today and quite often. Talk."

So Emma talks. She does spare Elsa the dirtier details, but Emma talks quite a bit about their kiss several weeks earlier and the way she'd been avoiding Killian after. She talks about how they talked it over, how they resumed their friendship, and how he'd invited her riding - she leaves out the part about Henry, too. She tells Elsa about everything leading up to them finally sleeping together yesterday and then her declaration that it was a one time thing. Then she tells her about today and how she'd felt almost overwhelmed with the urge to kiss him again just because he offered his help for something he didn't even know about. Elsa has this weird look on her face when Emma finishes, one Emma can't figure out. "Emma," Elsa says softly. "It sounds like you've got a promising start here. What's holding you back?"

Emma fidgets as a burning itch rushes through her body, like it does every time she has to talk about this. "I dunno."

Elsa's expression changes to sympathy. "You're scared because you've been hurt in the past. Believe me, I understand that. But I don't think Mr. Jones is the kind of man you're used to dealing with."

Emma scratches at her tattoo. "But what if he is?" she asks softly, and she hates herself for sounding weak.

"You can 'what if' yourself to death, Emma, but you're never going to know unless you try." Elsa reaches over and takes Emma's hand, stopping her from scratching at her wrist. "Not everyone is going to be like Gold's son." Emma looks at her incredulously and Elsa smiles apologetically. "Word travels fast around here. I found out why you punched Gold in the face. He deserved it. Sorry."

Emma laughs shakily and tucks a bit of hair behind her ear. "No, don't apologize, I should have expected it to get out. I still don't do relationships, though."

Elsa shrugs. "So don't put a label on it. Be one of those groovy New Age people who live in the moment." Emma's mouth opens soundlessly and she stares for a full minute before Elsa starts to giggle. "Okay, that was ridiculous, I'll give you that. Look, if it goes badly, I'll buy you a tub of ice cream and we'll let Ruby pick out the movies. But I don't think you're going to need that. It might be different and it might be scary, but just… Just give it a chance, okay?"

Suddenly, Emma remembers Anna that morning and talking about moving and doctors and other things Emma doesn't fully understand and then she wonders if Elsa's giving her advice or trying to give herself advice. And she realizes it doesn't really matter as long as at least one of them takes it.

-/-

"See you later, lad." Killian ruffles Leo's hair before David puts him in his carseat in the truck.

David nods in a friendly way and he gets in the driver's side. Killian shoves his hands in his pockets and wanders towards his own truck and trailer as the Nolans pull away. Another easy end-of-day for him, with everyone stabled at the track overnight, but he'd been an eejit and forgotten to reserve space to leave the trailer too. He hates the way the trailer blows all over the road without anything to weigh it down, but he has no other choice.

Hurried footsteps bring him out of his thoughts and he looks up in time to see Emma running towards him. "Swan? What's the -"

And then she's crashing into him, sending him stumbling just before their lips meet for the second time today and he's elated and confused all at once. She's going to drive him mad, between declarations of a one time thing and then asking him not to leave, then kissing him again this morning and now she's throwing herself at him? He pulls away gently as confusion wins out. "Emma, love, you can't do this to a man -"

She puts a finger on his lips to silence him. "Do you want this? Me?"

Killian doesn't even know his own name right now. "Are you asking me to be -"

"No," she says firmly. "No labels, no b-word or g-word or whatever else people are coming up with. Just… It's just us. What you said yesterday. Here and now, just you and me. Don't call it anything. Live in the moment or whatever."

He raises an eyebrow. "Have you become some great philosopher in the last twenty-four hours, Swan?" She frowns and opens her mouth to probably yell at him, but he shakes his head. "If you're asking if I want you, then the answer is yes, as mad as you are."

"Okay," she breathes, and she stands on her toes to kiss him again.

Even if he still has no idea what she's on about, elation takes hold again and he gently lifts her up a bit more into his arms. He doesn't spin her around, not really, but a few steps in a semicircle is enough before she pulls away again and gives him that hopeful, nervous smile. And he knows exactly how she feels.