Aaaaand we're back! :D
To those who are unaware, this chapter is basically a bunch of drabbles about the life at DEI. I'd like to thank all of you for the requests! They're really helpful. :3
This will probably be the funniest chapter. Most likey. :3
Enjoy! :D
P/F/P/F
Chapter 10: Little Moments That Irritate the Soul
Pinky?
The Cyborg chihuahua may have been one of the smallest of his league, but he was a force to be reckoned with. None who dared face him lived to tell about it. As leader of his "pack", if you will, he was probably the most feared of the Cyborgs, as well as the most imfamous among the Tri-State Area.
There was, however, one person who had managed to escape his grasp for some time...
A stupid, red-headed twerp, who they just recently caught. They as in the Norm-Bots...not HIM. Worst still, after the said prisoner escaped, although he managed to take him down, the child fricken lived! That wasn't supposed to happen...thank goodness Doofenshmirtz didn't bare witness to such travesty.
Maybe he was over tired. Maybe...
"Here Pinky! Here doggy!"
Whoa...there it was again...that weird voice in his head...it sounded like...a little girl...
"Good boy, Pinky! I love you so much."
That voice...
Pinky was patroling again with Peter the Panda and Chester the Cat. They had spotted some members of the Resistance, a girl with black raven hair. The Cyborgs attacked, and the members fled. The girl, however, stood there, staring as Pinky readied his weapon to fire.
But something had stopped the Cyborg from attacking...
"Pinky?"
For the first time, in the Cyborg's life, he froze.
...IsAbEllA?
XI
Stupid Panda is Stupid
While Pinky was a top rank Cyborg, Doofenshmirtz still questioned why he even bothered making Peter. Yes, Doofenshmirtz built each Cyborg. NOT Schnitzel. He's not lazy, you know.
Back to the topic at hand, Peter the Pandaborg was probably the dumbest, clumsiest, and most accident-prone of the Borgs. While his group would be ordered to go East, he'd go West thinking the command was going Wheast. He'd trip down the stairs even though he can fly, so he didn't even need to go down them in the first place. And he gets hit by a fricken bus or taxi on a regular basis.
Oh, but that's just the tip of the ice berg! Why, one day, while Phineas was working on the latest version of the Norm-Bots (the kid thought that Doofenshmirtz was vain, but not enough to make a huge robot that had his head), Peter had wandered in for no apparant reason.
Well, not wandered in. Ran in. And there was a reason. It was check-up day.
The stupid pandaborg proceeded to jump at Phineas, freaking out, knocking the kid against the Norm-Bot, which caused a domino effect. Why the heck were there several other Norm-Bots, in a line no less, right behind the one Phineas was wroking on?
Phineas was just about ready to strangle the panda when Peter noticed his sudden rage and began to run for his life, with Phineas chasing after him.
The results were Phineas being in the Ice Box for the rest of the day, while Peter was sent to the infirmary for his daily check-up...
"Peter, what am I gonna do with you," asked Schnitzel, who was tending to the Cyborg's open wounds.
...as well as the usual.
XI
Punishment
The type of punishment a slave had to go through depended on the action and rank.
Schnitzel was probably the luckiest of them all, seeing as she was practically second-in-command of DEI. As such, her only punishment would be the Ice Box. Better still, she liked the cold, so it wasn't really that much of a punishment. Despite everyone's jealousy towards her for such "light" torture, they were always reminded that she had to see Doofenshmirtz every single day, and that it was punishment enough to face the dictator even in a normal conversation about everyday life.
The Cyborgs would be dunked into pools filled with pirhannas, either being attacked by the little fish of doom or inevitably rust until they were tended to. This rarely happened, even to Peter, since the idiotic panda was tortured enough by the day as is.
The other slaves and prisoners, like Phineas, had it the hardest. They'd be put into the Ice Box, thrown in pirhanna pools, and far more. Whipping, amputation, and shock therapy were just a couple of them. And death wasn't even the worst of them all.
Sometimes Phineas would be forced to watch a prisoner be sent to their doom. You'd think that the Goozim would eat the slave in one chomp, seeing as how big the fur-cube was. But no, it was far more gorey than those think. Goozims tended to play with their food being eating it, you see.
The beast would chew up the victim first, then spit him/her into the air, the food barely still alive and suffering. The body would go splat onto the ground, and blood would stain the flooring. The lucky ones would fall into the lava below and would die almost instantly. As for those of misfortune, they'd be thrown around like a rag doll before finally dying in peace.
In the young boy's own perspective, the person sentenced to death, or at this moment, being sent to his doom, was luckier than anyone in DEI. At least they'd get away from this living hell for the rest of eternity (unless they were sent to the actual hell, otherwise he'd feel very bad for the said person). But aside from that, Phineas had the sudden realization that watching someone die, was far worse than dying himself, and began wondering if Doofenshmirtz was punishing him for an act of disobedience, or just to torture him for the fun of it.
XI
Love Story
Dr. Alice Schnitzel was probably the biggest bookworm around, having stashed hundreds upon hundreds of books in her closet, desk, anywhere Doofenshmirtz wouldn't find it (heaven knows why the guy didn't notice the books in her shelves). Why the heck would the man ban reading, she would never know. If she recalled, he himself liked to read a lot when they were younger. There used to be a library in DEI before the man went crazy and took over the Tri-State Area. Sometimes, Schnitzel would have some kind of paranoia that Doofenshmirtz knew all along that she had secret stashes of books all over the building.
Schnitzel liked to read all kinds of genres: adventure, sci-fi, slice-of-life, anything that was several pages of paper with words, sandwiched between binding. However, her favorite genre was probably romance.
It wasn't because of the kissy-kissy ga-ga mush, or the sexual intamacy between the lovers. It was that, usually, the boy and girl, both completely different from the other, truly cared about each other.
"Hello! My name is Alice. I just moved into town, and I wanted to say hi to the neighbors. What's your name?"
They'd stick together, through thick and thin.
"Laugh? I wear a dress all the time, and I don't see you laughing at me."
No matter what happens.
"Don't look at me like that! This is perfectly safe...come on, it's just sledding! Down a tall hill! Into the resiviour!"
Even if the other decided to go with someone else, the other would support their love along the way...
"O-oh, that's great Heinz! This is a very...big step on the road to your happiness! He-he..."
...no matter what...
"Am I alright? Yeah! I'm fine, really! Th-these are tears of joy, Heinz!"
Phineas entered the room, a tired, almost bored look on his face.
"Dr. Schnitzel! Doofus nee-...you like Doofenshmirtz?"
"GIVE THAT PICTURE BACK YOU STUPID LITTLE TWERP!"
"I'm sorry, but, I won't be able to make the wedding, Heinz. I'm afraid I'll be too busy on that day..."
XI
Accident
The Norm-Bot was supposed to be the biggest of all the others, big enough to pilot from the inside. And Phineas was supposed to build it by himself, while being watched by around ten Norm-Bots. You know, in case the kid got any ideas of getting on the giant, metallic sucker and using it to get the heck out of there. Phineas didn't even bother denying the fact, and simply shrugged when Doofenshmirtz told him the number of reasons why he couldn't build the machine without the use of guards.
Let's see...red wire goes here...
The project took about three days, non-stop, not even for food or sleep. Yes, Phineas was feeling tired, weak, and above all stressed. Whatever gave you that idea?
...Blue wire...green...
Phineas yawned, fluttering his eyes open and close every once in a while. It wouldn't be long before he finally decided to close his eyes shut, and...
The sound of sparking and electrical surges were heard, catching the Norm-Bots's attention. A few of them flew over to see what had happened, or if Phineas had done anything suspicious, only to find that the boy had fallen into the machine, and was currently tangled in wires, twitching in pain, his hair literally sparking.
BluePurpleplumdede-Hablah...
"Ugh...huh...where am I?"
"Hey, stupid kid-"
"Oh gosh, it's you..."
"-You've been asleep!"
"Then, I wasn't building the machine yet?"
"No, you've been asleep...for a week...and twelve minutes...and by the way, Doofenshmirtz says you're in big trouble for falling into a coma during work hours."
Phineas's eyes widened. Evil, crazy, or not, who the heck punished someone for being comatose?
XI
Boyborg
Ever since that horrible nightmare, Phineas's biggest fear had been being turned into a Cyborg. The thought always came to mind randomly, particularly when he was talking to Doofenshmirtz. Since he had part of Schnitzel's job, he had to see the old man just as much as she did.
Why the heck did the world hate Phineas so much? Did he do something wrong?
Well, whatever it is, I'm sorry, universe.
One day, Phineas was called to Doofenshmirtz's office, again. This time, the red-head hadn't an inkling of why. When he made it to the purple and green room (that's not really specific enough, considering the entire building was that color; heck, the entire town was that color!) he found no dictator, but instead an empty desk with blueprints scrambled on the top surface.
Curiously, Phineas went over to see the technical drawings for himself. Just what did the dictator draw in his spare time...
Hm...a nuclear cannon? Interesting...
...Wow. A flying vessel with Doofenshmirtz's face. Now the boy knew that Doofenshmirtz was vain...
...TV screens? Why would he make drawings of...
Phineas's heart nearly stopped. The next blueprint had the picture of what looked like himself...as a...
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"
*slam*
...
"He-he-he! He fell for it! He actually fell for it!"
"Mission accomplished. Take us down, Norm-588."
"By the way, are you really going to turn him into a Norm-Bot?"
"I'll never tell, Alice."
"...You know what? I'm not even mad at you. You stick with your principles, Doofus."
"What did you call me?"
"Nothing."
IX
Dictator
Doofenshmirtz had always been cruel at heart, as any dictator.
Yes, he had an army. No, they weren't perfect, but they kept everything in line.
Yes, he had slaves. No, they didn't always try to escape.
Yes, they nearly got away. No, they didn't survive afterwards.
Sure, he was once a nice, young boy at some point, but that had changed when war hit Gimmelshtump.
Yes, he did feel better when he met Charlene. No, he never noticed that Alice only began calling him by his last name when he married her.
Yes, he didn't seem too heartless then, and even acted kind to others who needed it then. No, he wasn't like that now; his heart was completely black.
Yes, he once had everything. No, he didn't give in when it was all taken from him.
Yes, he married again. No, it wasn't because of divorce.
Yes, he had a child...no, she wasn't around anymore...
"Hi, Doofenshmirtz, I got more blueprints."
"Good. Put them on the desk."
Yes, he felt fine.
No, he wasn't crying.
XI
Sweet, Sweet, Sabatoge
"But, Doofenshmirtz! I'm telling you, it wasn't me this time!"
"Nope. Both of you are staying in this Ice Box until further notice."
"YOU'RE NOT MY MO-!"
*slam*
"URGH!"
...
"He-he-he..."
"I hate you so much, kid."
"That'll teach you both not to trick me into thinking I was gonna turn into a Cyborg."
"Wait...both?"
Phineas grinned.
...Uh-oh...
XI
Meanwhile
"I AM GOING TO FRICKEN KILL THAT BRAT," Doofenshmirtz yelled when the Norm-Bot proceeded to set his entire office in a wave of flames.
Peter the Cyborg walked over, eyeing the scene before saying, "You know, they say you shouldn't stand too close to a blazing infirno, but it's actually not that ba-."
"GET OUT OF HERE!"
XI
Lesson Learned
Although Phineas hadn't managed to make sure Doofenshmirtz and Schnitzel wouldn't mess with him again, as he laid on the cell floor in a bloody mess, he learned not to piss off the guy in charge...especially if the one in charge was Doofenshmirtz. Cringe.
XI
Food, Glorious Food
At DEI, there was only one meal a day, but it was big enough for someone to make it through work. For Phineas, as disgusting as the food was, it was heaven. Anything was better than what he had to eat while he was roaming the Tri-State Area with Perry.
...Now, if only he could identify what exactly it was he was eating, and if he could tell for certain if it was poisoned or not...
XI
Sweet Dreams
Phineas was only two when his father left, so he didn't remember much about the man. Little tid-bits, here and there, but that was about it. He always remembered a little bit more by dreams, good or bad. Even fathers weren't perfect, after all, but that didn't stop him from looking for him. Sometimes, he'd sneak into the central computer room and attempt to search for him that way...only to get into trouble.
This night was no different from the rest. The slaves all slept in what looked like a shelter home. Phineas, however, slept in a cell. No one knew why, but no one dared question Doofenshmirtz's reasons.
The prison floors were stone cold, and sleeping on them were something to get used to. But after a while, if everything was calm and quiet, Phineas would be fast asleep...
Phineas heard screaming in the other room, and wasn't so sure what was going on. He asked Candace what their parents were fighting about, but, she didn't say a word. The next thing he knew, his mother walked out of the room with the rage of a dragon, and went locked herself in her work room. While Candace went to do her usual things, trying to mentally wash away what had happened, Phineas went to see if his father was okay.
He didn't know why the man was so upset, but all the anger and stress seemed to disappear when his son came into the room...
XI
...WTF?
Schnitzel was rolling on the ground, giggling like a mad woman, while Doofenshmirtz was glaring at Phineas, who stared in shock.
"Now you know why I hid the caffiene," Doofenshmirtz said.
"Will she be okay," Phineas asked.
"Eh, she's always like this when she's hyper. Give her a minute..."
Schnitzel got out a flamethrower that she seemed to summon at will...
"...make that an hour..."
...then proceeded to turn it on, a blast of fire shooting onto the walls next to her...
"...on second thought, get the Norm-Bots."
For once, Phineas didn't hesitate or complain at a command from Doofenshmirtz. In fact, he was thankful that the man actually didn't leave him there to fend for himself against the now insane Schnitzel...but then proceeded to feel a small amount of guilt for the dictator who right now proceeded to grab a chair and hit Schnitzel on the back of the head with it (or at least tried), considering the fact that, this time, it was his fault.
A/N:
Ah, drabbles. They're so fun. :)
Thank you, My Dictator Level is Over 9000 (who I assume is still in a fit of insanity from looking into the screens of insanity or whatever), GryffindorSpark, and Hufflepuffin for your requests. :)
Thanks for the reviews! They mean a lot to me! :D
Please, don't hesistate to write constructive criticism. But flamers, if you have something bad to say at least tell me how I can improve.