Time for a Change – Chapter 12
Hey guys – hope you are enjoying the story so far. Don't worry – Kurt and Rachel won't be fighting for too much longer, and I'm sorry for the lack of Finchel lately, but they will be coming up soon, as well as Klaine. Enjoy!
Rachel and Santana stood quietly in the living room, not really knowing what to do after Kurt's storm off. Rachel felt horrible. She knew she was taking a risk when she had first thought of the idea, and maybe she had taken things a little too far. She should have just taken a step back and let Kurt sort out his relationship issues himself, as he had told her before. Santana noticed the sad look on Rachel's face and placed a hand on her shoulder.
"Whilst I do agree with Kurt; it was wrong of you to go behind his back and do all that stuff, I can see your intentions. It kind of reminds me of when I was trying to get you to break up with Donkey-face; going through your stuff, confronting him, getting Finn to beat him up, but I guess the difference is that this was for your own good, otherwise you would be in danger." Rachel nodded and turned to leave to her own room.
"I think I just want to be alone now Santana. Kurt's right – I don't deserve to be his best friend. I put my own desires ahead of his, like my selfish self always does, and I really hate it when I do that. I just wanted to see him happy as me" Rachel sniffed as she left to her room and shut her curtain for the night.
Kurt sat in his room the next morning, not really wanting to go out into the kitchen yet. He hadn't slept that well the previous night. Various thoughts had floated around in his head, lots of confusing questions. Why would Rachel go behind his back like that? Did Finn know? He also remembered Blaine's phone call about breakfast, and he had sent him a text saying that he couldn't make it, but would think about meeting up later for coffee. He had been talking to Blaine a few weeks ago, just casually as friends. Talking to Blaine had certainly been easier since he had forgave him. He was almost starting to feel like they were the old friends they were before they started dating.
"Kurt? It's Santana? I've made breakfast for you, if you want any. Don't worry, Berry went for a walk, so it's just you and me." Kurt looked up to see Santana come in and sit on his bed with a tray of bacon and eggs and toast. He smiled at her thoughtfulness and took a bite of the toast.
"Thanks Santana. I just don't feel like being social at the moment. Not until she apologises" Kurt said emptily, taking another bite.
Santana sighed. "Not to take any sides here, because I intend to remain neutral in this situation, but she feels horrible. After you stormed out last night, she kept putting herself down and then went to her room. She didn't eat breakfast this morning – I haven't seen her since last night; she just left a note on the bench saying she was going for a walk. But I do feel for you Kurt. It must be really hard trying to sort out your own feelings, whilst others want you to feel a certain way too soon" Kurt nodded sadly. Santana got up and left, leaving Kurt alone. He finished his breakfast, and then went off to the bathroom, hoping a shower would freshen his mood.
Rachel walked silently in Central Park, trying to gather her thoughts. She didn't know what to do. She wanted to talk to Kurt badly and apologise, but she knew that he had made it very clear that he didn't want to talk to her at the moment. She needed to talk to someone though, to let her emotions out; so she got out her phone and dialled Finn's number.
"Hey Rach, what's up?" Finn's cheerful voice answered after the first ring.
"Finn…..I've done something terrible" Rachel stuttered into her phone, trying to hold back her tears.
"What's the matter? I'm sure it's not as terrible as you think" Finn answered, trying to sound reassuring.
Rachel took a deep breath and proceeded to tell Finn about what had happened with his step-brother. She was worried that Finn would become mad at her too, and she couldn't bear having two of the most important people in her life being mad at her.
"Finn? Are you still there? Are you mad at me? I know I shouldn't have done it, but I just want to see Kurt get his happy ending" Rachel said hurriedly.
Finn sighed. "Rachel, it's okay. I'm not mad at you, I never could be. I understand your intentions, but also, since Kurt is my brother, I do understand why he's upset with you. He's feeling betrayed by you because you've gone behind his back and gone into an issue that is very sensitive and personal to him. He's also probably feeling pressured to get back together with Blaine, even though he's said that he doesn't know if he wants to yet or just stay friends."
"Well, what do you think I should do? I know he doesn't want to talk to me at the moment, and getting Santana or you to talk to him might make things worse and I don't want to drag you guys into our fight" Rachel said worriedly.
"I think you should just let him be for a while. I know the feeling of betrayal. When I found out about Puck and Quinn right before sectionals, I didn't feel like to talking to anyone, especially them. But then after I took some time to myself, I managed to forgive them" Finn replied, hoping that Rachel would see where he was coming from.
Rachel sighed. "I guess you're right. Thank you for your advice Finn, I'll talk to you soon, Bye"
"Bye Rach" Finn replied, and Rachel ended the call. She decided it was time to head back to the loft. As she walked back along the streets, she kept thinking about the ups and downs she had with her friendship with Kurt. They started out as rivals, competing for every solo, and then when Kurt transferred to Dalton, they became friends, which continued into their senior year, along with its ups and downs like when Rachel decided to run against Kurt for student council president. Then when they moved to New York they weren't without their disagreements about relationships, and everything that went down in Midnight Madness.
Rachel started singing a song in her head, one that she felt fit perfectly to her situation right now, even though the first time she had sung it, it had been about Finn.
What have I done? What can you do when your good isn't good enough Can I start again, with my faith shaken? What can you do when your good isn't good enough? So I throw up my fist, throw a punch in the air, What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
I wish I could run,
Away from this ship going under
Just trying to help
Hurt everyone else
Now I feel the weight of the world is on my shoulders
And all that you touch tumbles down?
Cause my best intentions
Keep making a mess of things,
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me to get it right, to get it right?
Cause I can't go back and undo this
I just have to stay and face my mistakes,
But if I get stronger and wiser, I'll get through this
And all that you touch tumbles down?
Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things,
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me to get it right?
And accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fair!
Yeah, I'll send out a wish, yeah, I'll send up a prayer
And finally someone will see how much I care
And all that you touch tumbles down?
Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things,
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take, to get it right?
To get it right?
When the song ended, she had reached the loft. She walked in and looked around. Walking to the kitchen to get something to eat, she heard the bathroom door open and saw Kurt step out and walk towards the front door. Their eyes met for a second, but Kurt quickly glanced away and walked out the door.
*Song used: "Get it Right" by Glee Cast