I literally drag Sofia out of the PD, slamming the back door shut behind us, the force of my movement easily overpowering the automatic closing which should keep the door from being smashed close. She stumbles in front of me into a far off corner behind the building.

Not willing to make the same mistake twice, I know better than to yell at her inside, even though there's no Ecklie in sight. But with my luck, he'd just appear there for some seemingly important reason the second I jump at Sofia's throat.

I'm fuming, I'm so angry I feel like punching something. I grab her shoulder harshly as she's trying to turn away from me. She knows she has fucked up today. She's already gotten an earful from Brass and by the looks of it, it hasn't been a very restrained conversation. I know she's angry, too, angry at herself for losing her temper, for compromising this case with an unprofessionalism that is strangely untypical for her, even angrier at the word 'disappointed' that fell from the Captain's lips during his talk. I know she will beat herself up over those three minutes for weeks, if not months to come, but right now I don't care. I gotta blow off some steam myself.

I should be exhausted, craving to finally return home, slip into bed and do nothing but sleep for the next eight to ten hours, but right now I'm way to agitated to care.

"What the fuck have you been thinking in there? Did you even for a second consider the CSI's work? Hours and hours of crawling around on the floor in that house and processing all that evidence. Now we don't even know it will get as far as to a trial. This verged on police brutality and he just needs the right lawyer and he's out of the whole thing. Not even to mention what could happen to you, you've risked your career. Well, fuck you Sofia, for being so careless. What the hell has gotten into you?"

All through my rant her eyes have never left mine. I can see her hands shaking at her sides and I know she'll either extract herself from this situation or she'll blow up at me. She scrutinizes me closely for long seconds. I want to reach out and shake some sense into her. Then her eyes turn the iciest shade of blue I have ever seen them.

"Go fuck yourself, Sara. Don't pretend to be so high and mighty, you've made mistakes yourself over the years. Don't you dare lecture me. You haven't been in that room, you haven't had to look that bastard in the eyes while he's smirking and happily recalls what he did."

She turns to leave but I grab her arm again. She yanks it out of my grip and the expression on her face almost scares me. It dares me to touch her just once more and she will lose it. I decide to push my luck. Something else is nagging on her and I'm not willing to let her go until I know what provoked such a strong reaction from her.

"Sofia..."

She practically swivels around and pushes me away from her, roughly. I tumble backwards, not having expected her to get physical.

"Don't Sara, just let me go."

There's pure venom in her voice and her glance is laced with indescribable fury, while at the same time I see self-loathing in it and fear.

I take a step towards her and she retreats further, holding her hands up in a defensive gesture. I repeat the movement, so does she. Then a flash of resistance runs over her features and she gets into my face.

"What the fuck do you want? I'm not going to apologize, not to you. I'm not going to explain myself. So leave me the fuck alone, Sara."

She's standing not much more than a mere inch in front of me. Red hot anger is tearing at me. Why won't she back down? I have never seen her like this, between sheer ire and such helplessness.

"No, I won't. Not until you give me some answers. What was different today? What did you let get through to you? What was different about him? You've dealt with much worse before. Tell me, Sofia." I demand.

She snorts and if looks could kill, I'm sure I'd be dying a slow and painful death right now.

She's so close now that we are breathing the same air.

"Not a chance. Are you really sure you wanna make me any angrier right now? You might really regret that."

Her whole posture changes within the fraction of a second. She's the aggressor now and suddenly I wish I would have just let her walk away and had come to find her later, to talk about it when we've both had the chance to cool down a bit.

I freeze at the subtle but not at all ignorable shiver that runs down my spine as I see the ice melt away in her eyes and being replaced by a raging wildfire. Suddenly it's not about pulling a suspect across an interrogation table and crushing him into the tiled floor, not about violated and killed teenage girls, not about compromising and risking a case and her career, it's about me and her.

She smirks smugly, drinking in the realisation in my eyes and whispers hoarsely and very close to my mouth.

"I'll give you a reason to back off-"

I know she's not done talking when I still feel hot air against the sensitive skin of my glowing face as she draws in a deep breath.

"As much as you annoy and piss me off right now, seeing you that angry is such an incredible turn-on it almost blanks out everything that's happened today. So back off, Sara, or you'll find yourself in a situation where you wished you did cave earlier."

She locks her now almost violet eyes with mine and the amount and intensity of almost carnal lust displayed in them still catches me completely off guard. Unanticipated and incredibly confusing images of Sofia shoving me into the brick wall behind me and kissing me roughly flood my swirling mind. There's no mistaking that look she gives me. There's no mistaking that something's luring behind my confusion as other words run in circles in my mind.

"Stop fighting me. Come on, be a bad girl for once, Sara. Be a real bad girl for me."

And I shock myself by staring at her almost unfazed and stating dryly: "Try me."

She tries taking a quick step towards me, closing the minimal distance between us but I beat her to it, moving even faster. We meet half way and the hunger with which my mouth crashes into hers is so far beyond my comprehension that it's freaking me out inside. As her whole body bumps into mine I fist into the fabric of her shirt at the small of her back to keep her this close while my other hand finds purchase in her hair and yanks her head back as my tongue insistently demands entry to her mouth, which she grants with a groan and her arms encircle my waist. The whimper she emits as our tongues meet makes me gasp. I shut out my brain that's screaming at me for attention, all I can do is kiss her, hard and bruising, with all my anger and my anxiety and the so very sudden flash flood of arousal that washed over me. She sucks at my lower lip before delving back inside, devouring my mouth while I push her backwards until it is her back that hits the wall. As I lower my mouth to her neck and ferociously suck on her pulse point, a shudder runs through the length of her body that leaves the most pleasant goose bumps on my arms, mostly because it's accompanied by her trembling and low voice.

"Oh god, Sara!"

I lavish her skin with my tongue, nibble, kiss and suck every available patch that is exposed to me, her hands glide down my back and land on my backside, squeezing hard and it's then that my own low and dangerously far off sounding growls kick starts my brain again and I realise what it is I'm doing. With her.

I honestly haven't felt attracted to her until mere moments ago. And all of a sudden there's no thought left in my mind but the desire, the need to rip her clothes off and fuck her senseless until she's screaming my name.

I want to make her scream, I want to make her come so hard she forgets she's ever been with a person who didn't respect and love her as much as I do.

What? Of course I do love her, she's my trustee, my best friend.

How can I love her like that, as just a friend and still want her at the same time?

I don't want to want her, I don't want to destroy what we have because I've rediscovered that I do have hormones. Demanding hormones. Hormones demanding Sofia to be the one to still them.

FUCK!

I pull back, almost tripping over my own feet while breathing heavily and staring at Sofia with wide eyes.

Oh dear Mother Mary, what have I done?

Sofia's eyes open slowly and there's an instant bitterness in them as she takes notice of my expression. She smirks contemptuously as she pushes herself off the wall, wiping her mouth with her sleeve.

"I knew it was too good to be true. Does fighting turn you on that much, Sara? Is this why you always picked an argument with Catherine? Because it gets you off?"

Oh no, no, no.

"Sofia, I-" the rest of the sentence gets stuck in my throat, actually because I don't have the damnest clue at what to say at all. I don't even know what has gotten into me. While my mind is reeling, my body completely disagrees with her assumption that is was too good to be true.

"I'd be using you." I admit in a tone that conveys my own insecurity. A bit more confident now that the understanding seems to set in, I continue. "I would have been using you if I had kept this up, Sofia. I have no explanation yet, I just know that right now, there's nothing I want more than to never have stopped kissing you. But as long as I neither know why that is or where this sudden urge came from and just what's behind it, I just can't do it. I'd be hurting you even more than I already did."

I can see she's torn. Rational, sensitive Sofia knows I'm right, knows how much more pain she'd be in for if we proceeded and it would have been just that, a one time thing, born out of some almost desperate need I can't for the death of me explain. Yet a small part of her seriously considers going on, going through with it. No matter the cost. Getting at least that, one morning. I can see it in her eyes, in the way she lets her glance wander over my body, the way her right hand twitches by her side as if she wanted to reach out for me and pull me in again.

But she turns and stalks stiffly over to the back entrance door, throwing the next words over her shoulder without bothering to look at me again.

"Tell me if you figure it out eventually."

The door falls into its lock behind her and I stare at it long after Sofia's gone.

I replay everything in my mind.

Sure, I have been flattered by her words, her honesty, that chaste kiss. It felt good to know that someone, someone I care honestly about and whom I respect and admire could fall for me. But no, I didn't feel anything apart from deep, yet friendly affection for Sofia. What has changed and more importantly, when?

While we fought, there was so much going on in her ice blue eyes. They sparkled with the fire of agitation, burned with all of Sofia's passion, for the job, for her anger at having made a mistake and definitely with all these feelings for me she tries to suppress so hard in order to make our friendship work before they froze. And then lit up again. And it reeled me in. The thought of having all that magnetic power, that passion directed at me, how it would feel if all those pent up emotions broke free at once, what she would do to me, how she would touch me, tender and soft, detecting bit by bit every spot that would make me weak in the knees and leave me breathless or rough and with the need born out of too many hours, days, months wasted on imagining me and her, which I am sure she did, hastily exploring new grounds and finally being allowed to take what she has been wanting for so long now?

Oh god, judging by renewed the shiver of arousal that settles somewhere very low in my stomach both scenarios would be very fine with me. I can still feel her lips on mine, can still faintly taste her on them.

I want her. Just recalling the way she looked just moments ago, a second before our mouths met , makes it clear that I am incredibly attracted to her. I remember her curves pressed against my body, my fingers tangling in her silky hair wafting around her shoulders, the glimpse of the swell of her breast I caught whilst kissing down her neck, how she tiptoed just a bit to make up for the height difference, her hands sliding over my back, strong, sure, determined, yet gentle.

I let out a loud groan of frustration.

How can I find a way out of this without hurting her even more?