X-Sammii-X, Cal is worried the baby isn't Ethan's and it's all another trick - he doesn't want to fall for Tilly till he's sure. But she is rather irresistible, so you never know what might happen! Ethan really does love Taylor - we can only hope she deserves it! Thank you for your review.
Bonnie Sveen Fan, thank you for your review. That's a very good observation - Ethan finds it difficult to deal with Cal's anger at the best of times and he's so emotional at the moment, he could very easily take exception to something Cal says. You'll have to wait and see about Taylor!
Panicatcasualty123, thank you for your review. It's usually Cal who gets carried away and Ethan who has to be the calm one, so it's interesting writing things the other way round! I loved the way Ethan fell head over heels for Matilda when she was his niece, so I thought it would happen even more quickly when he's the possible dad.
Tanith Panic, Lily agreed to let Ethan go, but poor Alicia has no idea who Taylor is or what's going on! All she knows is Cal left her for another girl. Ethan fell over in the episode and I wanted to include it, but at least this time he didn't drop Matilda! I'm glad you care for Taylor. I don't think many people do! Thank you for your review.
InfinityAndOne, I'm really glad you don't hate Taylor. I can't promise she'll behave any better in this reality, but I have tried not to make her all bad. Ethan really is starting to lose himself. I think he has the right instincts - to love and care for the baby and her mother - but this is Taylor, after all! Thank you for your review.
Thank you Panicatcasualty123 for the follow.
Cal wasn't sure he'd ever hated anyone more.
Taylor looked rather pathetic lying there, her eyes closed and her face pale. She also looked extremely beautiful. But Cal could only hate her for what she'd done to Ethan. It would have been wrong to do it to any man, but Cal couldn't understand why she hadn't got out as soon as she'd realised what Ethan was like. Perhaps some men deserved it to an extent – Cal could include himself in that: perhaps a player deserved to be played – but Ethan wasn't like that. He was sweet and kind and could never hurt anyone.
Taylor jerked out of her semiconscious doze. "Where's the baby?"
"She's over there," said Cal, nodding towards the baby carrier. "She's fine."
"I can't hear her," said Taylor fretfully.
"Maybe she's asleep," said Cal.
"Can you check for me? Please?" Taylor's eyes fastened on Cal's.
She certainly had power. And sex appeal. But she'd still broken Cal's baby brother's heart, only to come back into his life just when he was finally getting towards recovering from the damage she'd inflicted.
"Look: whatever you think of me, it's not her fault," said Taylor.
Cal glared at her, but he knew she was right. He couldn't blame the baby.
He walked over to the baby carrier and looked into it. The baby – Matilda: there probably wasn't much chance of changing that, but how Taylor had the nerve really took Cal's breath away – was lying still, her eyes closed. Cal checked that she was breathing. "She's fine."
"Thank you," said Taylor. Her relief and gratitude sounded genuine.
But she'd said a lot of things that sounded genuine.
Cal looked at Matilda again. Poor innocent little baby. If she stayed with Taylor, she probably wasn't going to have much of a life. If Taylor went back to prison, Matilda would only be able to stay with her until she was eight or nine months old - then she'd be put into care, unless she persuaded Ethan to look after her. If Ethan was the father, that was only right, but Cal couldn't trust her word on anything. If they went on the run, which was much more likely to be Taylor's intention – surely even she couldn't expect Ethan to spend the rest of her life shielding her from the law - Matilda would never have a home because Taylor would probably have to keep moving around to ensure they weren't caught.
Cal was shocked by an urge to scoop Matilda up and keep her safe, but perhaps that wasn't so very surprising. She was a beautiful girl, after all, and Cal had always enjoyed rescuing beautiful girls.
The question was whether he wanted to – or ought to – add Matilda to his list.
Ethan was shocked and hurt, but his speed of thought hadn't deserted him. He quickly gathered up everything from the floor, reassuring a passing nurse that he was completely fine and so were his glasses. His glasses were actually smashed and his arm was hurting, but neither problem seemed too serious in comparison with what was waiting for him in the on-call room.
His daughter. And the woman he'd once thought was his whole life.
Ethan hurried back, ignoring the pain in his arm, and pushed open the door to the on-call room open as best he could with a bruised arm.
Cal came to help him. "Ethan, are you okay? What happened to your glasses?"
"They… fell off," said Ethan, not wanting to get into his own mild injury when Taylor needed help so badly. He allowed himself a quick moment to whisper hello to the sleeping Matilda, then moved to Taylor's side. She looked paler and more lethargic than when he'd left. "How are you?"
Taylor opened her eyes. "Been better," she murmured.
Ethan took her hand. "I'm sorry I was so long."
Cal took some of the equipment from Ethan. "Okay, we need to hurry. She's been vomiting, so I think it's a nutrient infection with sepsis."
"Oh my goodness!" said Ethan. He stroked Taylor's hair. "Oh, Taylor… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken so long."
"Not your fault," whispered Taylor as her eyes closed again.
Ethan's throat ached. She couldn't be all bad. Not if she wanted to make him feel better.
"Come on, Ethan. We can do this," said Cal. "But we need you to be calm, okay? Taylor needs you to be calm. Matilda needs you to be calm."
Ethan shook his head helplessly and got to his feet. He tried to look at Cal through his cracked glasses, but they were useless. He tore them off impatiently and flung them aside, hearing them clatter but not caring. "You're right. I think we do need to take her downstairs." He was shaking. "If she's got an infection like that, it could kill her! I can't take any risks with her. I can't!" He turned imploringly to Taylor. "Please, Taylor! Please let us take you downstairs."
Taylor moaned softly. "You… you promised …"
"Yes, I know we did," said Ethan brokenly. "But we didn't know then how serious it was then. Please, Taylor."
Taylor moaned again. "No, Ethan. If you… love me…"
Ethan looked at Cal, through eyes blurred with tears and short-sightedness. The doctor in him said he had to keep trying to persuade Taylor to go downstairs. But the man who loved her couldn't bear to say no.
"I think we can do this, Ethan," said Cal. "We just need to contain it. She'll need antibiotics."
Ethan really didn't know anymore. He didn't know anything except that he loved Taylor and he might lose her.
"Right: we need 175mg of gentamicin and 500mg of clindamycin," said Cal. "I'll stay here and get those fluids into her."
Ethan wiped his hands across his eyes and tried to stay in control. "Can you go, Cal, please?"
Cal shook his head. "Ethan, I really don't think you're in any state to treat Taylor. There's a reason why they don't let us treat relatives."
"That's why I don't think I'm in any state to go sneaking around, stealing antibiotics!" said Ethan, as he tried to fight back more tears. "I'm half-blind and nearly crying, Cal. How can I not attract attention? Besides, I can probably put a line in in my sleep, but I could so easily walk into the wrong cupboard. Then I'd have to find the right shelf. And… and you treated me."
"We were desperate!" said Cal. "And to be honest, I'd have been in a far worse state treating anyone else because at least when I was with you, I knew I hadn't lost you."
Ethan wiped his eyes again. "That's how I feel. Every minute I'm away form her, I'm going to be scared to death that… something's happened. Please don't make me leave her, Cal. Please."
Cal looked torn. "Okay, but I need you to stay in control for me. I know you're terrified. I know you're distraught. Anyone would be. But if I leave you, you've got to be the doctor and treat Taylor. You can't let your feelings come into it at all. Okay? Do you think you can do that?"
"I've got to," said Ethan, his voice calmer now. "I can do this. Please go and get Taylor's antibiotics. I'll be fine."
Cal hesitated, then nodded. "Okay." He gave Ethan a hug. "I'm proud of you, little brother, okay? I'll be back soon."
He hurried out. Ethan took another couple of seconds to compose himself fully, then he turned back to Taylor.
She was watching him. Her face was pale and waxy, but her eyes were fixed on him. "Are you okay?"
"Yes. Of course. I'm fine," said Ethan. He heard Matilda giving tiny baby cries from the corner of the room. "Would you like me to bring her a bit closer to you?"
The corners of Taylor's mouth lifted. "Yes, please."
"Okay." Ethan picked up the baby carrier, smiling at Matilda. "Taylor, she's so beautiful. Just like you."
"Do you want to hold her?" said Taylor.
Ethan gently put the baby carrier down beside Taylor. "I would love to, but I really need to get some fluids into you first." He stuck his head through the handles of the baby carrier and kissed Matilda on the cheek. "I'm sorry, darling. We'll have a cuddle later. I promise." He tried to take his head out again. "Oh gosh: I'm stuck! No, it's okay. I'm fine." He withdrew his head and went to the other side of the bed. He took hold of Taylor's arm, turning it over and pressing it as he looked for a suitable vein.
"I'd sacrifice anything… do anything… so that she can have the best possible life," said Taylor.
Ethan's hand shook slightly. He was glad he wasn't holding the needle. "Then you must see that she deserves better than a life on the run. That's no life for anyone. Especially not a baby."
Taylor's voice broke. "What choice have I got, Ethan? I have no-one. My foster family kicked me out when I was sixteen. I had no qualifications. No experience of course. No references. No confidence either. I wasn't even much to look at then. All I could do was lie and after a while, I became good at it. I'd never been good at anything before."
Ethan could see how it had happened. He'd imagined it so many times as he'd tried to convince himself Taylor wasn't all bad. She'd had no-one until her associate had appeared and offered her a career. A road to what looked like happiness. And finally, the chance to do the one thing she felt she was good at.
"And that's the life she'll have if I go back to prison," said Taylor, her voice trembling. "She'll be pushed around foster homes growing up, knowing she's a spare part no-one wants. Just like I was."
"I wanted you," said Ethan. "More than anything. If you'd stayed, I'd have asked you to marry me."
Taylor stared at him in shock. "Ethan. I love you so much. You're the only person I've ever loved apart from Matilda. You're so good and kind and... there's no-one in the world more special than you. I so hope Matilda grows up like you and not like me. I want that more than anything. Please say you don't hate me, Ethan!"
"I… um… hold still for a minute, please." Ethan inserted the cannula and breathed a couple of times. Then he turned slowly to look at her. "Of course I don't hate you, Taylor. I love you. I always have. I probably always will."
"Then come with us!" said Taylor, her eyes bright.