You guys really don't like cliffhangers lol... I guess I should add a trigger warning to this one. Just in case... It isn't the happiest chapter.
"How is she?" Alison asked with a raspy voice.
Dr. Cooper took a deep breath before responding. "Your baby wasn't able to breath on her own. We gave her oxygen and did everything possible, but soon she became unresponsive. The stress of the birth was too much for her and she was too weak to make it on her own. I'm sorry, but we weren't able to save her."
Emily stood and placed Emilia in her tiny hospital bed.
"Can you please send in a nurse?" Emily asked.
"Of course. I'm so sorry for your loss. Would you like to see her? Some parents do, some don't." The doctor sympathetically asked.
"I can't." Alison weakly said while never looking away from Emily.
"No, I don't think we can't handle that." Emily replied to the doctor.
He left and within the minute a nurse had returned.
"Can you please take her to the nursery for a little while." Emily's voice trembled as she spoke.
Once the nurse wheeled the baby out of the room Emily turned to see a frozen Alison. She hadn't moved an inch since they were delivered the horrible news. Emily knew she was shocked. The brunette sat on the bed and pulled her girlfriend into her arms, careful not to move her too much considering she just gave birth and was no doubt physically in a lot of pain.
Emily buried her face into Alison's neck and felt the tears consume her. The brunette was completely losing it. She hadn't cried this hard since her dad died. Alison squeezed the taller woman while trying to fight her own tears, but it was to no avail. Hearing how broken the love of her life sounded was crushing Alison's already shattered heart. The two women were desperately clinging to one another as they grieved over their lost daughter.
~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X
After Alison had cried herself to sleep Emily eased herself out of the blonde's arms. She needed to call the girls and her mother. They had all been patiently sitting in the waiting room, desperate to see the twins. Emily hated that she was going to be delivering them such terrible news when everyone was so excited. The second she opened the door she was swarmed. Hanna, Caleb, Aria, Spencer, Toby, Jason, and Emily's mother immediately ran to her with smiles on their faces.
"How is Alison! How are my grandchildren?!" Pam rushed out before anyone could speak.
They could all tell something was wrong. Emily's eyes were puffy from crying and she knew she looked terrible.
"Alison is fine, she's sleeping. Emilia is fine. She is in the nursery, I can take a few of you in at a time to see her." Emily answered.
"Emily, what about Sasha." Hanna asked with slight panic in her voice.
Emily felt herself crying again, but instead of giving in to her emotions she fought them off. "She didn't make it."
Pam pulled her daughter in for a hug and silently cried with her. Everyone in the room remained silent and allowed Emily and her mom to have their moment. None of Emily's loved ones had any words that could comfort her at this time, so they opted for silence.
"I didn't even get to hold her. It's not fair." She sobbed while Pam rubbed her back and allowed her daughter to crumble.
After several minutes they finally parted and a teary eyed Spencer cautiously asked, "Em, what happened?"
Emily wiped her eyes using her sleeve and briefly collected herself before answering. "The doctor said she wasn't breathing on her own, so they took her away before I even got to really look at her. They said there was nothing they could do." She sobbed out, breaking down once again.
This time it was Hanna who reached for the brunette. Emily allowed her friend to embrace her as she once again felt herself falling to pieces. Spencer and Aria followed Hanna's lead and the three women held onto their friend, allowing her all the time she needed to release her emotions.
Pam spoke once she saw that Emily's tears had slowed. "Do you want me to make the funeral arrangements? I can call the same place that did your father. They are so wonderful."
"Please. I... I can't do this on my own and I know Ali isn't up for it. I should probably ask her first, but I know she will be ok with it."
"I'll take care of it, my baby." Pam cooed while walking forward to kiss her daughter's forehead.
~X~X~X~X~X~X~X
Once Emily had slightly calmed down she lead her mom and Jason to the nursery to see Emilia. Pam looked down at her tiny granddaughter while Jason smiled at his niece. They both looked so proud of such a tiny person.
"Emily, go get her. I want to meet my grandchild and I'm sure Jason would love to meet his niece."
Emily silently nodded. Though she was in a world of pain she was also overjoyed. She was still a mother. She and Alison still had a daughter that needed them. Every time Emily looked at their baby she couldn't fight the smile that crept across her face. Soon Emily had baby Emilia cradled in her arms. She took a moment with her daughter before handing her over to her mother. She kissed the tiny infant on her forehead and enjoyed being close to Emilia before reluctantly handing her over to her mother's awaiting arms.
"I'm going to go check on Alison and see when she is being moved into a regular room. Maybe then everyone can come see the baby at the same time. You guys don't mind babysitting do you?" Emily asked as if the answer could have ever been no.
"Go on. We will be fine. Jason and I can share." Her mother said, handing the baby to Jason as if to prove her point.
The blonde man looked at his niece with an expression of amazement. Like he had never seen anything so perfect before. Emily could already tell her that daughter was going to be completely spoiled.
Emily walked down the hall for several minutes before she reached Alison's room. The blonde was still sleeping and hadn't moved an inch since Emily left her. Emily wasn't even sure how long she had been gone. It was almost as if time had stopped. Deciding to let the blonde get some rest, Emily turned to go to the nurses station. The same older dark skinned woman that was working the desk earlier greeted Emily once again.
"Hey, sweet heart. How are you holding up?" She kindly asked with a look of sympathy.
"Not so good, but I'll survive. It just doesn't feel like it right now."
"I love my job, but this is the part I hate. I hate watching people get their hearts broken. If you or your girlfriend need anything you just come to me, ok?"
"Ok," Emily croaked out, getting slightly choked up from how sweet the woman was being. "I was just wondering when Alison would be moved to a normal room. We have family and a lot of friends that are dying to get their hands on the baby."
"We're ready just as soon as you are. We went in the room to get her, but she was asleep. We figured she needed the rest, so we left her alone. Just come get me when she wakes up and we will get her all set up."
"Ok. Thank you." Emily said before turning to rejoin Alison on the bed.
The brunette tried to ease her way into the bed, needing to be close to her girlfriend, but she ended up waking the blonde in the process. Alison burrowed against Emily and held the other woman as close as possible. Emily threaded her fingers through blonde hair and peppered her forehead with soft kisses.
"How are you?" Alison whispered.
"I'm surviving. How are you? Do you need anything?"
"Right now I just need you to hold me." Alison weakly replied.
Emily held her tighter and spoke again. "Are you in pain? I can get the nurses to bring you something."
"I'm so numb right now. I really can't feel anything. I'm not sure if it is the epidural or if it's my emotions."
"Mom and Jason are in the nursery right now. Emilia already has them wrapped around her tiny finger."
Alison pulled her head back and gave Emily a small smile. "I want her."
"I'll go tell the nurse. They're going to put you in a normal room. Then everyone can come in. Unless that will be too much for you."
"No, I want to see our family. You and I need all the support we can get right now."
Emily kissed Alison on the cheek before exiting the room in search of her favorite nurse.
She immediately found the nurse and was greeted with a smile.
"Is she ready?" The nurse knowingly asked.
"Yeah, I accidentally woke her up." Emily admitted with a chuckle.
"I'll send some nurses and we will get her moved in no time." She happily replied.
"Thank you." Emily replied.
The women weren't left waiting too long before a nurse entered the room with a wheelchair. After helping Alison into the chair Emily followed her girlfriend as the nurse guided them to Alison's new room. After getting Alison as comfortable as possible Emily left the blonde in search of their daughter. Once Emily made her way into the nursery she found Hanna and her mother fussing over Emilia.
"Emily, shes perfect." Hanna cooed. "Hey little baby Hanna."
"Nice try, but we're sticking with Emilia." Emily said while reaching for her daughter.
She held her close and slowly bounced her while humming. Emily was completely in love. Hanna and Pam watched the interaction with smiles on their faces.
"You are a natural." Pam commented.
"Yeah, you look so great with her." Hanna added.
"Thanks. Honestly I am so afraid. I don't want to hold her wrong or mess anything up." Emily confessed.
"You are doing perfectly fine. Your maternal instincts will usually guide you. Just go with your gut." Pam said reassuringly.
"Ali is asking for her, so I am going to head back to the room. Would you mind going and getting everyone? Ali just got moved to room 323."
"Sure, we will see you in a few minutes." Pam said while pulling a reluctant Hanna away from Emilia.
"Bye baby Hanna. See you soon." The blonde called over her shoulder causing Emily to roll her eyes and laugh.
Emily made her way back into their room and the expression on Alison's face when she saw Emily and their daughter made the brunette fall even more in love. Soon Emilia was in Alison's arms and for the first time since hearing the bad news Alison looked at peace.
"Everyone will be up in a few minutes. Would you like to try feeding her before they get here?" Emily suggested, knowing Alison intended to breast feed.
"Good idea. I'm worried it is going to hurt. I know that sounds silly after everything I just went through." Alison said while rolling her eyes at herself.
"You can do this, but if it becomes too painful we can always switch to formula." Emily suggested.
Alison shifted Emilia in her arms in order to prepare the baby for her first feeding. "That will be a last resort. I really want to breast feed. I just want the best for her."
Soon the baby had latched on and was feeding, causing Alison's eyes to widen. "Em, this feels so weird."
Emily laughed at Alison's expression causing the blonde to join her.
"I'm just glad she is getting the hang of it. I know a lot of babies have trouble with it." Emily added.
"Would you mind standing by the door in case they get here before she finishes? I'd hate to scar Toby and Caleb." Alison joked.
Emily did as she was asked and watched Alison fed their daughter. The swimmer still hadn't gotten used to the idea of being a mother. The entire experience was almost like a dream. Half dream, half nightmare. She was enjoying all the new experiences with Emilia, but a huge part of her was as sad as she was when she lost her dad. She didn't know how to handle all the mixed emotions, but thankfully she had an amazing support team to help her through it.
"Ok, Em. I think she's done." Alison called out while covering herself then cleaning Emilia's chin.
"Just in time, because everyone is coming down the hall." Emily said while sitting beside Alison on the bed. "How did the first feeding go? Did it hurt?"
"It did a little, but I got used to it. Though she didn't eat a lot."
"That's because she has the tiniest little tummy." Emily said while lightly tapping her finger against her daughter's stomach.
The door opened and soon it was filled with their seven family members.
"Ok, who hasn't had a chance to see her yet?" Alison asked.
Four different people simultaneously replied with "ME!"
"Ok, who is first?" Emily asked while looking between Spencer, Aria, Toby, and Caleb.
"Let Aria hold her. Shes practically shaking with anticipation." Spencer joked.
Aria gentle cradled the tiny bundle and smiled larger than Emily had ever seen. Soon Emilia was being passed around to her remaining godparents. None of them could get enough of her. Emily and Alison watched as each person held their daughter. The love that was radiating from everyone was enough to help ease some of their grief. It was going to be a long and difficult journey raising one daughter and grieving for the other, but they had the best people in the world to help them through it and neither woman could ask for more.
So that happened... Sorry, but it was necessary for the overall plot. I had to do it :( Also, I wanted to know what days you guys would prefer me to update on. I know everyone has different schedules, so I wanted to try and update when it would be a good time for you guys to read. Let me know which two days would be best and if you prefer morning, afternoon, or night. Thanks!