Chapter 12: Back To School

Morning came far too quickly and Severus woke first. He checked the time 11:02. Shit!

"Potter! We're late! Technically you've missed the train!"

"Shit! What should we do?!"

"Language Mr. Potter!" Snape smirked, that was his reaction too. "Let's just move all your things to your room and act like you got here earlier by escort to keep you safe."

"Okay"

Severus waved his wand and all of Potter's things disappeared and went to his dormitory.

"That was fast."

"Well, Potter, that wasn't really a spell of much difficulty. Surely someone of your year, sixth isn't it, Should be able to do a spell such as this." Snape said, sliding back into his old ways more easily than he expected.

"I suppose" Damn, Snape did that so well. How am I supposed to react? I know he doesn't mean it, but the insults are gonna hurt like hell. Whatever, I'll get used to it.

"You know I mean you no pain, or harm, we simply have to get reacquainted to 'hating' each other. At least for the school year, alright?"

"Yes professor," Harry said with little enthusiasm.

"Let's have lunch. We still have about six hours until the damn feast starts."

"Snape, you hypocrite!" Harry joked and Severus laughed. This felt good, Snape thought, too good to be true though. The year will start and he'll forget about me. He'll have his friends… He was pulled from his thoughts when Harry presented him with a sandwich.

"What? Mr. Potter, how long have I been thinking?"

"Long enough for me to make two sandwiches, grab some fruit, and pour juice for two."

"Ah."

"Professor… are you going to miss this?"

"Miss what? 'This' was unclear"

Harry groaned. "This, us, having calm, nice conversations, enjoying each other's company, making potions and chatting idly about life. Are you doing to miss it?"

"What I think you're asking, Mr. Potter, is if I'm going to miss you. And yes, I will miss having you around. It was more enjoyable than I expected it to be. Unfortunately, in our time together, I still have not figured out why you cut to relieve pain. Care to explain?"

"Not particularly, sir."

"Alright"

They ate the rest of their meal in silence. Neither knowing what to say. The day hadn't been going as planned and simply got worse when McGonagall flooed in through Snape's fire.

"Good afternoon Severus", she said, rounding the corner to his kitchen. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Harry. "Mr. Potter?!"

"Errr… Hi Professor," Harry managed to choke out.

"Minerva," Severus said smoothly in greeting. "Very observant, you've recognized Mr. Potter, something the rest of the magical community can do as well."

"Severus, enough of your sarcasm. Why is Mr. Potter here?" She asked, looking from Snape to Harry.

"He was merely transported here early as a matter of a safety precaution."

Minerva looked at Severus skeptically. "Why didn't I receive word of this? I am his head of house. Not you," she added bitterly.

"If I remember correctly, it was my job to keep watch on Potter."

Minerva huffed. "I came to bring you word from Albus. You are to meet with him in ten minutes. Mr. Potter," she said addressing Harry, "perhaps you should get to your dormitory and wash up. You'll need to be ready for the feast and Professor Snape will be tied up until late tonight," she finished while eyeing Severus angrily.

"Tell Albus I'll be up shortly," Severus snapped. McGonagall turned and disappeared into the fire again.

Snape sighed. "I'm sorry Harry. Looks like this was cut short. I'll see you later. And remember, you have the journal, right?"

"Yes sir. Goodbye," Harry replied sadly and fell into Snape. He wrapped his arms tightly around Harry.

"I'll see you at the feast. Remember, we're acting when not alone." Snape said after they broke apart.

"Yes, sir." Harry said as he left and started making his way to his dormitory.

Severus composed himself and flooed into Albus' office.

"Hello Severus!" Dumbledore greeted cheerfully. Snape grumpily nodded at him. "Oh, have you become fond off Mr. Potter? You seem more irritated to be in my office than usual."

"Why would I become fond of that Gryffindor?" He spat the last word. Damn this man. He bloody knows I care about Potter and he took my time with him away anyway. Damn him. Those blue eyes are taunting me with their twinkle. At least I can keep an eye on Potter at meals and in potions.

"Alight have it your way, my boy," he said with a grin and a chuckle. "Just don't forget, I know everything that goes on at this school. The portraits talk, you know." Lies, lies, lies, bullshit and lies! He's losing his marbles. How can Potter possibly look up to him? Oh. Right. He wasn't a complete asshole.

"Is there something you would actually like to tell me, Headmaster?"

"Oh yes there is! I need you to deliver Wolfsbane to Remus Lupin. He hasn't taken it yet this month and—"

"The full moon is tonight. You want me to risk my neck for your bloody friend. Have you forgotten what he did to me?!"

"Severus, you're going to need to let that go. He's a member of the Order and he too is trying to protect Harry."

With that Snape stalked down to his private supply of potions, grabbed some Wolfsbane and left.

He found Lupin in an Order safe-house, writhing in pain. He flipped him over, pinned his hands to his sides, and poured the Wolfsbane down his throat. I should wait and make sure he's okay. Not because I care but …. To watch my potion perform exceptionally well. Snape reasoned with himself. He may be able to admit that he cared about Harry, but he didn't care about this monster in front of him. Well, maybe he did a little…. Since the boy was so close to him.

Remus started relaxing and looked Severus in the eyes. "Thank you… You came just in time—"

"Save it. I have to get back to the feast."

"You really are a good man, Severus"

Snape shook his head and flooed to his chambers. He sighed. Late. Of course. Keep me from Potter to take care of an idiotic werewolf and make me late to the feast. While he thought about his dislike of Albus, Severus changed into nicer robes and ran his fingers though his hair to straighten it. He sighed and proceeded to saunter to the feast. Dumbledore was still giving the welcome speech, but at least all the new little brats had been sorted. Snape looked at his table. Not too many new Slytherins. He shrugged. Less responsibility. Everyone in the Hall was staring at Snape and he inwardly groaned.

"Welcome Professor Snape, so nice of you to join us! He was so kind to make a personal trip to give a werewolf some Wolfsbane! Come join your colleagues." Albus said and winked at Severus as he approached the table. Snape shook his head ever so slightly.

Harry watched as Snape slowly stalked to his place with the other professors. He looked like his old self again. Maybe acting like I don't care will be easier when he looks as he used to and he's not causally sitting in front of me in a sweatshirt and jeans. I don't want to forget about him but….

"Harry, what are you staring at?" Oh god. Leave it to Hermione to notice.

"Nothing. Just trying to figure out where Snape really was."

"He may be a git; but you must call him Professor Snape."

"Lay off Hermione, Harry's barely seen you an hour and you're already naggin' 'im," Ron chimed in. Harry smiled at Ron and sheepishly grinned at Hermione.

"Hey guys, I have presents!" Harry presented Ron and Hermione with the things he got them. Both their eye lit up like fireworks when the packing fell away.

"Thanks Harry!" they exclaimed as one.

"No problem, I'm glad you like them." He looked up at Snape again, they made eye contact. Harry tried to question him with his eyes, but Severus shook his head and Harry turned back to his friends.

"So how was your summer?" Hermione asked Harry.

"Oh, you know, the usual." Hermione and Ron know Harry hates the Dursleys, but he never said anything other than they just dislike magic. They nodded in response. "What about you two?"

"I got to go to Romania with Ron! It was brilliant! Absolutely brilliant! I even got to watch a baby dragon nurse from its mum!" Hermione nearly shouted across the table at Harry.

"That sounds amazing!" Harry feigned excitement for his friends benefit. Her excitement and the fact that she and Ron had been together and hadn't even invited him stabbed a chilly dagger through his chest.

"Yeah! The best part was probably when we rode one over the river in the sunset! It was probably a lot like the time you rode Buckbeak! Only cooler and on a scaly beast!"

"Wow! Wish I was there, that sounds phenomenal," He was straining to keep the bite out of his voice but Hermione picked up on it.

"Harry, we would have asked you to come, but with your aunt and uncle, we weren't sure how to."

"It's fine guys," Harry said as he got up from the table. He was considering telling them about how he actually spent his summer but he was going to lose his temper. Ron and Hermione got up to follow him. "Stop, leave me alone," the chill and sharpness in his voice stopped them in their tracks. Harry ran back to his dormitory, not caring about the scene he made storming out of the feast early. He collapsed at the foot of his bed, opened his trunk and began searching for his knife. He found it and started jamming it into himself in various, uncalculated places. He finally stopped when he started swaying and feeling faint. "Scourgify," he whispered and the blood disappeared. Harry climbed into his bed and laid there thinking. They'll never understand. I thought it would be easier once I got that in my head. Apparently not. I'm already wearing thin and it's only my first night. How am I going to do this? I have to fight the Dark Lord. I have to be a normal kid at the same time. IT'S NOT FAIR. It's not fair. He sobbed into his pillow.