"You seem troubled," Spock noted. Deep lines accented his features, showing that there must have been a smile or two to brighten his face, despite his training, and little patches gray hair were clearly visible in his thinning bowl cut.

His younger counterpart replied, "I am conflicted. I am not sure how you will perceive what I am about to tell you, but I must proceed. You are the only one who could possibly aide me in my understanding."

"'The best way to tell me is to simply tell me.'"

"That is an illogical statement." He was the teeniest bit annoyed, but mostly just nervous.

"It is something Jim used to say."

Spock could not have asked for a more perfect segue. "On the topic of Jim, I have something I must confess. I…" He looked down from the holoscreen, unable to meet his own eyes. "I believe I am in love with him," he finished quietly, almost as if he were ashamed. He did not lift his gaze to see his aged self's reaction. He simply couldn't. It was as if her were saying such a thing to his father. The threat of disappointment loomed over his head.

"Finally." The younger Spock looked up sharply. He saw a large smile, a contradiction on the lined half-Vulcan face.

A flicker of hope, a flare of surprise. "Please clarify your meaning."

"I will, but only because your surprise amuses me." The smile turned mischievous, and maybe the smallest bit mocking. "Jim and I were lovers. T'hy'la. For most of the time we served together on the Enterprise. We had a passionate, enduring relationship that spanned decades, ending only in his death. I have been in love with him since the moment I met him…" He paused, reflecting on something a little sad. "Seeing him again on Delta Vega was…surreal. He was only a little younger than when I had first met him. And since then, our years together…I can promise that every trial you will ever face, every wound you will sustain, every moment of entirely, blatantly emotional panic you will feel when you see him broken and bruised, will be worth it, for him." Spock could not entirely comprehend what he had just heard. He had imagined that his older self would be somewhat disgusted by his love for his friend. At the very most, he imagined his counterpart might have been in the same predicament – being in love with him, in a horribly unrequited manner. He would offer him advice on how to cope and they would share moments of the man's greatness. But to be told that it had existed, even in another universe…that presented a whole different perspective…

"You two were involved," he repeated, trying to wrap his head around the idea. "Intimately."

"Yes."

"You have participated in sexual intercourse with him?" Part of him was embarrassed at the question, but it was himself that he was asking, so it was not as awkward as it could have been.

There is no shame, as he would usually associate with the act, only truth. "Yes. Many times." A thought strikes him, from a conversation he recalled.

"He is the reason why you advised me to wait to find a mate. He was yours."

"Yes."

"I am…unsure of how to proceed, then. Should I…pursue him?" The elder Spock laughed.

"Jim is a complicated human being. He will interpret any action you perform as platonic, unless, of course, you were to kiss him right on the mouth! Although he might interpret that as merely friendly as well. You must let him come to you. I was in love with him for months before he finally told me of his feelings, and during that entire time I had been wooing him in a Vulcan and Human fashion, neither of which were actually successful. Of course, it is possible that your Jim is more promiscuous than mine was. My Jim, while flirtatious, always put duty first."

"So, I should not attempt to seduce him?"

"I would suggest that you leave subtle clues (subtle to him, not you, by the way) that show that you are interested in him."

"What if the differences between your Jim and mine are large enough that he will not develop romantic feelings for me?"

The aging Vulcan looked almost exasperated. "You are still fundamentally the same people, still fundamentally t'hy'la. That will not change through any circumstances." The younger Spock looked down for a moment. He was unsure of what to do. The idea that they were meant to be together changed things. He still felt guilty for lying to him, but that transgression was made smaller by the knowledge that it was meant to happen anyway. He bid farewell to his counterpart, hardly paying any attention, as his mind was still in turmoil.

The floor was warm when he sat on it, trying to enter the proper state of mind that would allow him to sort everything out. Meditation would be a good way to calm himself. Deep breaths. In, out, in, out, in- His efforts were hindered by a very loud, insistent knock at his door. Apparently someone had forgotten that there was a doorbell. He gave himself three guesses as to who it could be, disregarding the first two.

"Godammit, Spock! Open the fucking door! You can't avoid me forever, you green-blooded bastard!" Spock nearly smiled as he got up and opened the door.

"My mother and father were married at the time of my birth." The angry word on Jim's lips died and was replaced by open-mouthed confusion. It seemed an explanation was necessary. "It is not possible for me to be a 'bastard', as you just called me, because my mother was married to my father when she gave birth to me," he repeated. A flash of understanding was very quickly overshadowed by anger.

"Whatever. I don't care about that. What I care about is that for some stupid reason, you've decided that I'm not worth your time. Well, I've got a news flash for you: get over it. You're stuck with me, so you better get used to it. Just get out of your little Vulcan temper tantrum and be my friend again, you big green idiot. Trust me, you don't want to screw this up only to wonder on your next away mission if I've really got your back." Spock was amused, to say the least. It was endearing that Jim valued their friendship enough to yell at him about it.

"Of course." Jim sputtered and gaped.

"'Of course'? Just-just like that?"

"Yes. Would you be interested in a game of chess after dinner?" Jim stared at him for a while, as if he were a puzzle. Looking back on his actions, he realized that he must have appeared as exactly that.

"Alright. I can do that. Half an hour, then?"

"Yes. That would be most agreeable." He looked at him for a brief moment. "In fact, if you had intended on dining in the Officer's Mess, it would be my pleasure if you would allow me to accompany you."

"Uh, yeah. Sure. That sounds good. I guess. You, uh, wanna go then?"

"Of course." Jim grinned and slapped him on the shoulder. He seemed to realize that he had just done something wrong and his brilliant smile turned sheepish. "It is of no consequence. I am making an attempt at familiarizing myself with your unique quirks, including your propensity for initiating physical contact." The grin returned and Spock nearly smiled himself. He liked that he could make him smile just by saying something.

As he sat across the table from Jim, he thought it might all just work out. It was easy to be friendly, even affable, humorous, with him. Surprisingly so. It was strange how easily words and subtle jests rolled off his tongue. Not only that, but it was very easy to fall back into the habit of being friendly. He managed to glimpse McCoy when he first saw them sitting across from each other. His expression was a curiously human mixture of gratitude and resentment. He seemed almost to be warning him while sending him a polite 'thanks'. But then again, the doctor was very strange for a human.

It was completely natural when they shifted from eating in a very public setting to retiring on opposite sides of a chessboard in Jim's private quarters. Spock was grateful for the game, for the opportunity it provided to metaphorically stretch him logic and mental processes. Jim was somewhat "off his game"; he seemed to be very distracted. Sensing this, he played primarily on the defensive until he was ready to focus. When three quarters of an hour had passed and the game had not gone much further than a simple rotation of the playing pieces, he was forced to speak.

"May I offer a monetary unit in exchange for your reflection on your current mental tangent?" He was, of course, rewarded with a confused stare. Spock knew that he had made a mess of that phrase. "My mother used to say something along a similar line of thought. I cannot quite remember the specific terminology that she used."

"You mean 'penny for your thoughts'?"

"Yes. That is the phrase. It seems rather absurd, come to think of it, but I feel you would be more receptive to the sentiment when stated in a familiar way."

"It's nothing, really. I'm just a little stressed, I guess. Haven't been sleeping much." Spock doubted his inner turmoil had anything to do with his sleeping habits.

"I have an idea. As past encounters have shown that it is often, very nearly always, you who has inquired into my personal affairs, it is only polite that I return the inquiry. Since you find much amusement in asking of my romantic endeavors, may I ask you a personal query? Are you currently involved with anyone? Is that what is causing you distress and a lack of mental acuity?"

"No, no, nothing like that. I chose to go monk for a while. I thought it might be a good idea for a little while. And, well, it's not like I've ever really been interested in something long-term and it's not very captainly to sleep around with my crew."

"I understand your sentiment. Technically, I am in a similar position as only two officers aboard this vessel are not below me in rank, and one of those two is myself. But I cannot claim that I have never been interested in a long-term relationship, for that is the Vulcan way. I cannot imagine what it would be like to not want to cherish someone for as long as health will allow."

"Wow…that's sorta intense. I thought Vulcans couldn't feel emotion? Love is definitely an emotion."

"It is my logic that if one of the most dedicated Vulcans I know of, my father, can admit to loving someone, a human, even, then it is permissible for me to as well."

"But you never admitted to loving anyone. Should I take this to mean you've moved on from our dear, sweet Nyota?"

"It seems you are amused by your own sarcasm. But yes, I have found someone that I actually, genuinely have affection for. It's as if all the things I had to pretend with Nyota are real. I find the experience quite enjoyable."

"What's this? Spock has a crush? Do tell." Jim's grin was purely gleeful.

"I will not divulge the identity of this person."

There was an overstated and, somehow, calculatingly sexy, pout. "Come on. Please, Spocky?" He nearly gave in, but then he remembered what he'd be sharing and stifled the urge to "spill".

"No. The focus of this conversation is on-"

"I'm just gonna have to guess, then. Let's see…not Uhura…ooh! That nurse! What's-her-name! Chapel, I think it is."

"Who?"

"You know, the pretty blonde with the big blue eyes! Oh, forget it. It's obviously not her…uh, is it Rand? She's cute, you know."

"I assume you are referring to the yeoman I have seen you conversing with on occasion. My answer is no. You will not guess who I am infatuated with, so I would suggest that you cease this line of questioning and resume our game."

"Why? Do I know this person?"

"Yes. Now. It is your move."

"Ooh, really…I'll figure it out. Just give me a little time…" His long fingers moved a knight, probably, Spock figured, to put a stop on his requests to continue the game. Spock doubted that Jim would ever get anywhere close to, well, himself, considering that he probably had no idea that he even could have feelings for men. That would be a problem, he thought.

"I guarantee you that you will not come across the identity of this person unaided." Jim seemed to sense that he was right, and sank into a sulk. "Have you really not had a long-term partner? What of Uhura's roommate? The Orion? I believe her name was Gaila."

"Ah…Gaila. Not only has she died, but we were never really more than friends with benefits. Well, sort of. It's complicated."

"I assure you, I have a very high IQ and advanced mental processing abilities. I will be able to comprehend anything you could possibly tell me."

"Fine. It's time you learned the truth, I guess." He took a deep breath, as if preparing himself for something. "So, I began seeing Gaila about two months before the whole Nero incident. It wasn't at all serious, I mean, it started out just as some flirting, which I do with everyone, by the way, but then it sort of got…interesting. She appealed to me in a way very few had before. And it wasn't just the Orion hormones. She was…great, in her own sort of way. Well, despite that, I got bored of her. She was just missing something, I guess.

"Anyway, that was about the time I started preparing for your little bitch of a test. I did the best I could using legitimate means the first two times, but by the second attempt, I already formed a plan. I, of course, built a subroutine that changed the parameters of the test, as you well know. What you never found out, though, was how I initiated it. See, I told Gaila before the test that I had something for her, something I needed to tell her, that I would send to her that day, at three. Well, while I was in the test, Gaila, who worked in the observation lab just above my testing room, opened the email I sent her, triggering the subroutine and, in effect, disabling the Klingons' shields.

"That was one of the main reasons I was with her at all. The other was, well, personal, I guess. But there you have it. How the infamous James Tiberius Kirk cheated your impossible test." Spock noted, with some amusement and a lot of curiosity, that Jim turned a very slight pink whenever he mentioned the reason why he was attracted to Gaila.

"So, why, then, did you initiate a relationship with her?"

"Like I said, it's personal. I'd need quite a few rounds of some very strong drinks before I ever told anyone about that. Hey! Maybe we should start drinking! I'll tell you about that little side of me, and you'll tell me about this girl you like."

"I…" Spock considered it for a moment. If he were to drink alcohol, it would no doubt produce either a very minute effect or none at all. That would mean that Jim would be inebriated and he would not be. He would be in full control of himself. "That sounds like a suitable plan for an evening between friends." Jim gaped at him. He had rather nice teeth, Spock noticed.

"Really? Like, for real? You're agreeing to drink with me?"

"As I have heard you say to McCoy, 'for realsies, babe'. I would like a chance to observe such a situation." The captain positively beamed. He leaped from his chair and went to a small cupboard. He began mixing liquids he retrieved from the cupboard along with some items he produced using his replicator. Spock stared at the board, calculating moves. After a few moments, he was joined at the small table by a pitcher, two glasses, and a very excited looking blond. He stared at the drink that was poured for him. It looked…suspicious. It was a murky brown color containing a few very small white flecks of something he did not recognize. Jim took a big gulp from his glass, his grin still not worn off.

"Come on, drink up. It's really good…my own mix. I've been making these since I was sixteen. Guaranteed to knock out a Klingon in twenty ounces, or I'm not a Starfleet captain. Besides, their delicious." The Vulcan held the glass in his hand, inspecting it with a certain amount of skepticism. It truly looked foul that close to his face. However, if it would make Jim talk… He downed the entire glass in one long swallow.

"Is that satisfactory?" The man looked shocked.

"Yeah. You know, you're always welcome to sleep in my quarters if you need to. Or pass out. You know. Whatever." But Spock wasn't listening. The drink had tasted very strange, as he had imagined. It was sweet, a little creamy, with several flavors he had never encountered. Overall, it was passable. He poured himself another, disregarding the tingle in his fingertips. That always sort of happened when he saw Jim.

"It is your move." Jim smiled and moved his queen, taking his only remaining knight. It was several moves and plenty of sips later before Spock began to notice a change. Jim had grown a little pinker than usual and wore a large, sloppy grin. It was sort of a reckless smile, in a way. He was not familiar with it. The Vulcan himself, who had finished off three very large glasses, was feeling a little…loose. He was comfortable. That's what it was. That's why he'd let his barriers down, allowing himself to relax and absorb any emotions that would be sent to him through a touch.

"So…Spock. Tell me about this girl." He merely shook his head. "Come on."

"Not until you tell me what was so special about Gaila."

"I asked first."

"Well, that would be a personal problem. I will not even come close to answering until you do."

"That's not fair. Not fair at all."

"No. It isn't." He was treated to a mock glare and an admittedly cute pout.

"Fine. But only because I've already drunk more than I should have of this sewage. Don't blame me if you don't like my answer." Spock rolled his eyes. Then he noticed that he'd rolled his eyes. He should probably slow down on the drinks. "I flirt with everyone, you know that. It's just how I say hello. That's all. Gaila was like that too, actually, which made us pretty good at getting along and being friends and all that shit. But the reason I slept with her, was not because she moves and is a woman. Hell, I don't know where people get the idea that I only like women. Or even that I like women most…anyway. I only slept with her because she's green." Spock cocked his head, raising an eyebrow.

"Excuse me?"

"I said, I slept with he because she's green. There. My secret's out. I have a weakness for hot bodies with a bit of a viridescent hue. So far, most of the people I have truly enjoyed sleeping with were Orion. I mean, I'll admit, they were a little…Wizard of Oz. Maybe a little too green. But whatevs. I don't judge." It seemed he had a fighting chance. Spock very nearly grinned. In fact, he actually did smile a little. Which was alarming. Even when given good news, he did not smile. And really, his fingers were buzzing a lot more than normal. He couldn't be reacting to the alcohol…that simply was not possible. He took another look at the pitcher.

"Jim, what is in this drink of yours?"

"Let's see…coconut milk, cream, Kahlua, some coconut shavings for pizzazz, and chocolate liqueur."

"Pardon me, but it almost sounded like you said 'chocolate liqueur'."

"Yeah, I did. It makes it yummy…why?" Spock looked at his glass and pushed it away. That was not good. Not good at all. Chocolate was not something he'd planned on.

"I need to retire to my own quarters." He looked at the chessboard, and move a rook. "Checkmate." Without even looking at Jim's face, he left, nearly running to his adjacent room. He looked around in circles, unsure of what to do. Taking deep, shaky breaths, he steadied himself at his bathroom sink, looking up at his reflection. His cheeks were a little greener than usual, whether from embarrassment or increased blood flow from the release of endorphins from the chocolate, he wasn't sure. More than that, though, he looked afraid. The one thing running through his mind was What if I hadn't realized? What if I had told him? The image of being thrown from his room bit into him, but it didn't seem quite so probable, given what he'd learned. The problem was that what frightened him more than the idea of rejection was the thought that he might have been accepted, lovingly, into Jim's arms, but in the morning, when the substances had all but left their major organ systems, Jim would regret whatever had happened.

A/N: Sorry, this is a little later than I expected. I'm sorta trying to wrap this whole thing up. The muse has bitten me, trying to push me in the direction of a completely new story. But I will finish this out before embarking on that...so yeah. We're good. Um, enjoy!

Guys, y'all are beasts. Just thought I should let ya know. Because you are. I've never actually seen people read and review anything or wanted to actually finish a story. So, kudos to you guys. Tribbles for all.