Donna and Jack returned to New York late Sunday afternoon as planned, having spent the rest of the weekend just relaxing at Josh's apartment. They'd discussed Jack's birthday the following weekend and agreed to keep it low key, much to Josh's dismay. If it were up to him there would be a carnival in front of his apartment and a Presidential proclamation.
But, since Jack was turning 1 and wouldn't understand the concept of a birthday party, and because they were still trying to keep a very low profile, they'd agreed to dinner and cake at his apartment with a few simple decorations and a guest list of one: Sam.
Donna knew they were probably living on borrowed time as far as their privacy was concerned, but there was little she could do about that. They'd need to come up with a plan, but for now they'd continue they way they were going- it was working nicely for everyone.
Jack was always fussy on their first night back in her apartment- and away from Josh. Donna rocked him slowly in the overstuffed glider in his nursery, trying to figure out where time had gone. Pretty soon she would have a one year old.
oOoOoOoOoOoOo
"Hey," Josh paused in the doorway, not taking his eyes off the paperwork that Lou had just handed him. He circled something in pen and leaned up against a wall to make a quick comment.
"Josh. Good to see you." Sam, ever the optimist, rarely caught sight of his best friend in this corner of the West Wing anymore. "What can I do for you?"
Josh looked up, almost as though he was startled to be there, his brain completely somewhere else. "Oh. Uh, Saturday, after work. Want to swing by?"
"…swing by your office?" Sam wasn't used to receiving social invitations from Josh anymore.
"By my place, Sam. For dinner or whatever. A party I guess."
"A dinner party." Sam wore an expression of genuine confusion. "At your apartment."
"Yeah." Josh didn't understand what was so hard to grasp about his offer.
Sam had never seen Josh entertain or cook. To pair the two wasn't a combination he'd been expecting.
"I don't understand- you're cooking? Or should I bring a pizza?"
Josh laughed. "I'm cooking. Well, I'm not cooking," he rephrased. But the middle of the bullpen on a busy day wasn't the best way to hash this all out. It would have to wait until Saturday to be explained. "Just come over around 5, alright? There's uh, someone I want you to meet." Josh smiled widely, which really caught Sam off guard. Maybe, he thought, the President was on to something.
Josh turned to walk away, but stopped, peeking his head back into Sam's office. "Oh, and uh, don't mention it to anyone, alright?"
Sam nodded his head in agreement. "Should I bring a date?"
Josh smirked, "Nah, I think you'll find yourself in pleasant company." He walked away, leaving Sam more confused than he'd been in ages.
oOoOoOoOoOoOo
"Whew, you're getting heavy, buddy." Donna couldn't help but to feel a little bit guilty as she walked around her apartment taking care of a few nightly chores. She shifted Jack onto her other hip. The truth was, she'd been carrying him everywhere she possibly could- that or walking slowly behind him as she held his little hands to support him as he tried to toddle about. He'd sit and play for a few minutes on the floor, content among his blocks and toys, but as soon as he'd stand up and get a brave look on his face she'd snatch him up.
She felt bad, she really did. She wanted Jack to succeed, it was just that, when it came to walking, well, that was all Josh. He'd made it his mission. They'd worked on in relentlessly on the weekends. Josh had read several articles and tried all kinds of approaches- and he'd been largely successful. The progress that Jack had made on the weekends was tenfold compared to the cooperation he'd give Donna at the same task. And on Sunday, just before they got back he'd been so close. So, knowing they'd be back in D.C. in just a few days, Donna had decided to carry him. She'd wanted Josh to be there for his first steps. It was, Donna decided, the very least he deserved. She'd weighed her options carefully and determined that four more days of immobility wouldn't have a long term impact on Jack.
She'd decided that she'd probably made the right decision when Josh had called her the night before to tell her about the tiny sneaker's he'd purchased. She could almost hear him bouncing on the balls of his feet in excitement as he described the pair he'd picked out especially for Jack.
oOoOoOoOoOoOo
"Hello?" The voice was confused and partially uninterested. He'd guessed she'd answered without checking her caller ID first.
Josh leaned back in his office chair and threw his feet up on his desk. "Well, Claudia Jean, you've taught me well. After all these years you are, indeed, my first call."
"What did you do now, idiot boy?" He could hear the smile in her voice.
Josh let out a full throated chuckle. "Come to D.C. this weekend, Ceej, and find out."
"It's that bad!?" she halfway yelled. "And as I recall you have our own team of specialists to handle your secret plans to flight inflation now. You can leave me out of it."
He groaned. "I'm never going to live that down, am I?"
"Not in this lifetime, no."
"Seriously, C.J. Trust me on this one. Hop a flight out here and be at my house by 5 on Saturday. And don't make a big production of the fact that you're coming. We all know you're out here to see a certain editor at The Post pretty regularly anyway."
She didn't have much to say to that.
"Call Sam, you can con him in to picking you up from the airport."
She sighed. "Ah, what the hell. I'll be there."
"Great, Thanks! I can't tell you how happy this will make her… umm, I mean me. I'll see you then, C.J."
C.J sighed. "Her who? Josh, why do I have the feeling I'm going to regret agreeing to this?"
"Oh, trust me, Claudia. You won't want to hear about this second hand," he told her, hanging up the phone.
oOoOoOoOoOoOo
For once, when Donna and Jack arrived, Josh was already at home.
"Hi," she smiled, surprised to see him. "What are you doing here so early?"
"They're fumigating my office or something, forced me to work from home this afternoon," Josh muttered, kissing her cheek hello and immediately taking Jack from her. "How was your flight?"
"It was uneventful," she told him. "He's getting so big it's hard to contain him for an hour," she laughed.
He looked up from where he was already spread out on the floor with Jack and a fire truck. "You okay? You look like you're sore. Back bothering you?"
"I'm fine," she muttered. "Must have slept wrong or something." She wasn't going to admit she'd been hauling Jack around everywhere for four and a half days. "I'm just going to grab some aspirin."
"Tomorrow is your birthday, buddy," Josh had completely turned his attention to Jack. "Did you know that? I'm so glad you're here so I can celebrate it with you!" He was talking softly with such animation, and Jack was enthralled with his father, as he always was.
Donna could hear Josh moving a few things around and talking to Jack before she rounded the corner. She smiled when she saw Jack in his tiny shoes, Josh beaming behind him. That didn't take long, she thought.
"Check out those shoes, little man," she laughed walking over to bend down next to Jack. "You're all ready to go!" Jack bounced up and down, holding onto the coffee table for a minute and giggling. He loved the attention, and apparently, the shoes.
Donna stood again, wandering around Josh's place and looking at the work the contractor had gotten done over the week.
"Take a lap with Daddy," she heard Josh mutter, holding Jack's hands for some satiability and walking once around the living room with him.
She'd just let herself into the guest bathroom to check out the new paint color when she heard Josh call her, somewhat urgently, from the living room.
"Donna… Donna, I think he's going to do it… DONNA!"
She hurried down the hallway just in time to see Jack step from the coffee table into Josh's waiting arms.
He wobbled a bit and Josh scooped him up, tossing him happily in the air. "Atta boy! You did it, buddy!" Josh, who was nothing short of elated, turned to her in the hallway. "Did you see that, Mom?"
"I sure did." Donna wasn't sure who she was happier for- Josh or Jack. "Let's try it again," she told him, sitting down on the living room rug that had been delivered earlier that week and coaxing Jack over to her from Josh.
They sat there for quite a while, Jack hobbling back and forth until he was exhausted, curling up with Josh. Donna made herself comfortable beside them, handing Jack a fabric activity book to occupy him and ordered a pizza. Simple nights like these, she decided, were now her favorite.
oOoOoOoOoOoOo
"He's out," Josh announced, leaning back into the couch and putting his feet up towards Donna's end.
"Tomorrow we'll have a one year old," Donna's heart clenched just thinking about it. "He won't be a baby anymore. He'll be one."
"He'll always be our baby, that's not going to change between now and tomorrow morning," Josh told her, opening his arms and motioning for her to come closer.
She did, moving towards him on the couch and settling comfortably in his arms. She rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes. She'd tried so hard to keep her distance from Josh, letting him determine how he'd like to proceed and work through things in his own time. She knew that until he had time to figure out what he wanted and process all of this they couldn't rush into anything. It would only end in disaster and she wasn't willing to let everything deteriorate because she had been in love with him all these years. If Josh didn't ever want anything more than their current dynamic she'd have to be okay with that. She'd made her choices. Now she'll do whatever is best for Jack.
His hand was lightly rubbing her arm as he watched the end of Wolf Blitzer's commentary on the current administration. "So, Donnatella Moss, tell me what you were doing at this time, one year ago," he smiled, nudging her a bit.
She looked up at him and studied his face. "Do you really want to hear about it," she asked, unsure if he was kidding or not.
"Of course I do," he told her genuinely.
She thought for a moment, trying to decide where to begin. "I- I wish you would have been there," she stated, the waterworks starting involuntarily.
He wrapped her up in his arms a little bit tighter. "Me too," he told her, but in such a gentle way. "But I don't want you to beat yourself up about that anymore, okay? You're always on me about guilt, but you need to take some of your own advice. We can't change it now, but I'd still like to know. Is that okay?"
She nodded that it was and began again after a moment to compose herself, playing absentmindedly with the button on his shirt. For all of their efforts to work through their issues while keeping a safe distance, they both knew they were playing with fire when it came to their boundaries.
"It was very early in the morning," she told him, "and he was so small, and I was so scared. But they handed him to me and he already had your curls and your dimples and… I've just never been so in love."
He kissed her forehead, turning to bury his face in her neck. "Yeah," he choked out. "Me either."
oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo
Josh got an early start the next day, but he made sure he had time to wish his little man happy birthday, and to get him all excited and wound up, before heading to the White House.
Donna took her time setting up his apartment for the afternoon. Josh had purchased a few decorations, which she found to be a completely adorable gesture, and she hung them up, getting into the festive spirit. A few streamers in the dining room nook, a colorful table cloth and a simple pennant banner on Jack's high chair. Nothing over the top. She'd made a cake, which she'd frost while Jack was taking his nap, and dinner would just need to warm in the oven.
She sat down on the floor of the now finished nursery and he walked over to her, clad in his pajamas and the tiny sneakers he was currently insisting be worn at all times. He'd cried and reached for them until Josh relented this morning, putting them on with his airplane zip onesie. They'd decided that morning that Jack had largely skipped walking. He went from a few uneasy steps yesterday to running everywhere he went this morning.
"Guess what, buddy?" She lay down next to him as he played on a tiny toy xylophone. "You're going to meet your Uncle Sam this afternoon."
Donna was beyond excited, even though she was nervous, to see Sam. She'd missed all of her friends since she'd left the White House. She was a bit apprehensive, however, to find out how they'd all react to Jack. And to her keeping him a secret. She was aware they'd be upset, and once again she told herself she just had to take it head on. It was the decision she'd made and she had to live with the consequences. Besides, it was between her and Josh now.
When Josh breezed through the door at 4:30 with a huge bundle of balloons to find Donna still not showered and sliding dinner into the oven while Jack sat on the floor of the kitchen and shouted "no" repeatedly.
He raised his eyebrows, knowing better than to say anything about her running behind.
"The decorations look great," he told her, kissing her hello on the cheek. That still threw her of every time. "And I brought some balloons," he told Jack. Jack immediately reached for them, his eyes lighting up.
Donna smirked at the guys mutual excitement. Josh tied the balloons to the back of Jack's highchair and picked him up, returning to Donna. "What's with the get up," he asked, referring to Jack, who was wearing nothing but a diaper and his tennis shoes. "He cries when he doesn't have them on. Its just not worth the fight today," she admitted.
He laughed. "So, um, how would you feel about setting a 4th place at the table," he began casually. "Sam's bringing someone."
Donna raised an eyebrow at him, unsure of where this was going. He could tell she was getting a little bit nervous. "Do you, um, have you met her? Can you trust her?"
"Oh, sure, I know her," Josh began casually, taking the beater out of the icing bowl and giving Jack a lick of the sugary treat before tasting it himself and tossing the beater into the dishwasher. "Actually, maybe you've heard of her… C.J. Cregg?" He smirked at Donna, who beamed back at him.
"C.J. is coming? Seriously?" She was ecstatic.
"Seriously." Josh laughed. "She'll be here with Sam at 5. Go get showered, I'll get Usain Bolt over here dressed and ready."
"Thanks," she muttered as she hurried down the hall to take a quick shower.
He put the cake on the server in the dining room and quickly wiped down the counter, surprised at how much he was learning to do with only one free hand. Jack, for the most part, was cooperative though. He was content just being held by Josh.
He then walked to the hall closet and pulled out the gifts that Donna had wrapped for Jack and sat them in the living room. "And now one for Mommy," he whispered to Jack, heading to his bedroom to pull the long rectangular box from where he'd stashed it in his nightstand, placing it gently on her pillow.
"Now, let's get you dressed."
"No."
"No, huh?" Josh laughed. Everything was either 'no' or 'yay.'
"No, no, no, no, no."
"Mommy didn't lay anything out," Josh muttered, rifling through the drawers. "So how about your Mets tshirt?" Josh pulled the shirt over Jack's head and began to dig for a pair of jeans when the doorbell rang. He glanced at his watch- they were early.
"Just a second, bud," Josh told Jack, sit here and play, he placed him on the rug with some toys. "I'll be right back."
Josh jogged over and opened the door, greeting a cheery Sam and a curious C.J.
"We brought wine," C.J. greeted. "Now, let us in so we can figure out what in the hell you've been-"
C.J was cut short when she heard a fit of giggles coming down the hall and the stomping of tiny feet running as fast as they could go. She and Sam stood there, eyes wide and mouths agape as a mop of curly auburn hair atop a tiny little boy rounded the corner, crashing into Josh's leg and shooting them a dimpled smile.
"Might as well cut to the chase," Josh muttered, hoisting Jack back up and gesturing for Sam and C.J. to come in. "So," he began, closing the door behind them. "Make yourselves at home."
"Josh." Sam spoke first. "You're holding a small child. A small child who bears, well, a striking resemblance to you."
"Yeah, we get that a lot. His name is Jack, by the way."
"And he's not wearing any pants," Sam added, unsure of the story behind this particular ensemble.
At the mention of pants Jack piped up. "No."
Sam tilted his head a bit. "What's he saying no to?"
"Pants," Josh informed them.
"No." Jack piped up again.
"Well, he's certainly yours," C.J. interjected some humor upon the situation, not knowing what to say.
Sam, who was effectively shell shocked, continued to stand silently in the foyer. "Who- When- Why didn't you-"
"We'll discuss it all later, Sam. Let me finish getting him dressed. Make yourselves at home."
Donna could hear chatting in the living room and hurried through her hair and makeup routine, pulling on some jeans and a light sweater, extremely excited to see her friends again. Stepping out of the bathroom the light blue box caught her eye immediately. She walked over, shocked by its presence, and opened the accompanying card with her name on it.
Donnatella-
You've given me the greatest gift I could ever imagine. Your strength and kindness amaze me and there is no one else I'd rather be on this journey with.
-Josh
She opened the box and gasp at the simple but gorgeous diamond solitaire necklace. Fastening the clasp around the back of her neck she lightly touched up her now tear stained makeup and made her way out to her guests.
She turned the corner from the hallway to see Jack playing contently and Josh handing C.J. and Sam drinks.
"Hi guys," she spoke, hesitantly at first. "I'm so glad you could both make it."
"Donna," Sam could no longer mask his shock and stood by the counter, doing his best impression of Gail.
C.J. let out a full throated laugh. A deep, genuine laugh, a smile spreading wide across her face as she looked at Josh. "Boy, am I glad I don't work for you anymore." She sat down her glass and walked over to Donna, enveloping her friend in a giant hug.
oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo
Dinner had gone well that evening, everyone eventually loosening up a bit, but still managing to avoid any details about the elephant in the room. Jack won them over immediately and spent the evening reveling in the attention from his new friends.
He'd opened his gifts, a couple of books and a toy fire truck, and Donna had served cake. Jack had quite the adventure eating his piece, wearing more of the icing than he had consumed.
"I'll just get him cleaned up," Donna announced, taking Jack to the kitchen.
"And I'll grab us all some coffee," Josh followed her.
"They're all really good together," C.J. said to Sam as soon as they were out of earshot.
Sam nodded his head in agreement. "They seem so… happy."
Donna sat Jack on the counter and began to wipe his face when he reached out and grabbed her nose in an attempt to evade the damp washcloth. His still sticky hands left a dollop of icing on Donna's nose and she left it there for a quick second, just to be silly and get a giggle out of her son. Josh walked by to grab the cream from the refrigerator and, almost as if it were reflexive, leaned in and kissed the icing off of Donna's nose and then planted a soft, chase kiss on her lips.
Donna smiled lazily. It felt like the most natural thing in the world. But it wasn't. Josh had just kissed her. And though it may have been natural and easy, it was anything but routine. Chaste or not, she felt something. And she thought that maybe he did too. Her eyes widened and she stiffened a bit, processing that this had really happened.
Josh froze slightly, meeting her gaze. He'd just kissed Donna. As if it were no big deal. When in his head, it was a huge deal. It was, quite possibly, the BIGGEST deal. And he'd just leaned over and kissed it, right in the kitchen while she washed Jack's face. No romance, no woo. Josh was mentally kicking himself. It all felt so right to him, but he'd wanted to give her the whole nine yards. And he didn't even know if this was what she wanted. Hell, he'd been so mad at her a few weeks ago he was seeing red.
But this was Donna. His Donna. "One of these days, Donnatella, I'm going to sweep you off your feet," he whispered into her ear.
Unsure of how to proceed from there, he went about his business normally, rejoining their guests in the dining room.
C.J., while not normally a 'baby person' held Jack until bedtime, when Josh put him down, leaving Donna to visit with their friends. She caught them up on what she'd been doing since the White House and apologized for losing touch. They did the same, the conversation staying light and breezy until Josh slid into the chair next to Donna's.
"Guys," C.J. began with a different tone, "it's none of our business, but what's going on? I mean, why didn't you ever say anything?"
Donna opened her mouth to speak. "I-"
She barely got a word out.
"Things were just so crazy," Josh began. "The campaign, the transition, The White House. Donna was in school and working. I hope you guys know that we would have liked to have included you from the beginning, but it just wasn't possible. I hope you can move past that and start fresh, because we'd like you both to be in Jack's lives. And in ours as well."
"But why- why did you hide him from us? And why now?" This time Sam was the one voicing his concerns, his voice filled with more anger than C.J.'s.
Donna began to speak again, but Josh placed his hand on her knee, giving a small squeeze to silence her.
"We needed some time, Sam. We had to figure things out for ourselves first. The details stay between Donna and I, and that's never going to change." He spoke in a voice he rarely used, and left no room for argument.
Donna stared at him, unsure of why he was jumping in front of the train for her.
"And have you figured "it" out," C.J. asked.
Josh shrugged his shoulders. "Some of it. And I'm hoping when the day comes that we've figured all of it out, or that someone decides that this too is for public consumption, that we'll have you two on our sides."
"Absolutely," they both agreed without even having to think about it.
Josh rested his arm on the top of Donna's chair, glad that they had that out of the way. The truth was that he feared that day may be coming sooner rather than later. They could only wall themselves off for so long- eventually the press would have a field day with his family. And even though he had a very capable communications department in the Santos White House, he knew that they were all strangers to Donna and she'd need someone besides him that she trusted personally and professionally more than ever- and that someone was C.J.
xXxXxXxXxXx
I know this is fluffy but I promise I'm going somewhere with it.
Thanks for all the amazing comments! So great to hear from you guys. Does anyone know if there is a way for me to respond? I'd love to thank each of you and have a little 'banter' with some of the things that have been brought up... but I don't see a button. Maybe I'm missing it?