TRIGGER WARNING: some gore.

Pieces of Broken Memories

A sharp rap on the window jolted me awake and I jumped, sitting up quickly, blinking the sleep out of my eyes and looking around to see who was knocking. When I saw Cynthia staring at me through the passenger's side window, I relaxed and unlocked the car for her, my exhaustion falling over me again, replacing the brief alertness I'd had.

Sounds like she's staying. None of her coworkers talked about her quitting or any such thing at all. Cynthia smiled darkly. Avoided me the whole time.

I sighed. "That's good. Carlisle and Esme will be happy to hear that." I mumbled as I started the car and began backing out.

You sure you should be driving? Cynthia asked as I exited the parking lot, a big yawn escaping my lips. I was too tired to be surprised she was suddenly talking to me again.

"I can make it back to the Cullens' place," I mumbled. We fell into silence then, all the way back to the house. I had parked and started toward their mansion before I realized that Cynthia wasn't beside me. I paused and looked back at her, still sitting in the car. She met my questioning gaze.

I'm sorry, she thought.

I looked back at the house, wanting to fall into bed and sleep more, but turned my back on it and got back into the car, repressing a heavy sigh.

"I forgive you," I told her. "But, you know that you shouldn't do that when you're angry." I reminded her before pausing to let her respond. "It was childish. I want you to grow up, but not like I had to. I'm trying to let you have a normal teenage experience. I agreed to live with the Cullens, I agreed to the shopping spree, I agreed to making our own friends here, I agreed to let you volunteer at the library—" I broke off at the look she gave me, reminding me to get to my point. "All I'm saying is that, I'm giving you a lot more leeway than I'm comfortable with, so I would appreciate it if you put up with my constant worry and shadowing.

"Now, I'm not condoning your outburst. I'm just saying that I understand that it's hard to grow up so fast. And it's not fair. But sometimes you have to. At least a little. I grew up for both us. I want you to have a normal life. I want this to be over for both of us. I'd do anything to give you your life back, Cynthia, please understand that. I can't do that if you're—" I broke off unable to say it out loud. I took a deep, shaky breath and Cynthia quickly reached over to take my hand.

I looked over at her and she smiled. I returned her smile and squeezed her hand, glad we got over that civilly, quickly, and easily.

You really think this'll ever be over? She asked as we got out of the car.

I thought about that as we walked from the garage to the main house.

"The truth?" I asked half-way there, taking her hand again, and looking over at her.

Lie to me, she requested.

I faced forward again and said, "Yes."

It was the last week before winter break, Eric and I had hit a rough patch in our relationship because of my constant wondering and frustration over Jasper's sudden avoidance of me. I was in a much lower mood and it showed. I tried not to be so negative when I was at school and around my friends, but it still leaked through when I wouldn't continue on conversations that I could have, and gave half-hearted hugs and kisses to Eric when we said goodbye.

The thing that happened over the weekend with the Suits and Cynthia, and my conversation with Edward, reminded me that what was going on with Jasper shouldn't control my life and that I should try and be more positive about things. Also that I knew why he was avoiding me, I guess I just didn't want to accept it and that's why I was so focused on it. I wanted him to at least talk to me again.

Even so, I didn't want to leave into a two week break from school on bad terms with my friends and especially not Eric. We'd been dating for quite a bit now and I thought it was going relatively well. I'd resolved to make it up this week, starting Monday.

I had a smile for my friends in my classes. When lunch came around, I found myself nervous but actually excited to talk to Eric.

"Hey," I chirped as I sat next to him. He nodded stiffly, barely acknowledging me. I felt a pang run through me, but knew I deserved it, so I sucked it up and continued. "Can I talk to you?" I asked softly, reaching up to touch his arm.

I saw him contemplate this before he finally fixed his hipster glasses unnecessarily and looked over at me.

"I'm sorry," I apologized. "I haven't been a very good girlfriend these past weeks. I just… had a lot on my mind. I thought I could handle it by myself, so I kind of closed up."

"How well is that working out for you?" Eric asked, his voice still a bit clipped.

I tried not to smile because I'd found his comment funnier than it should've been, and chuckled. "Not well, surprisingly," I remarked with a hint of sarcasm.

It was Eric's turn to try not to smile.

"…I forgive you," he finally said, putting an arm around my waist and pulling me over to kiss my cheek. "Just… tell me if you're having a rough time, next time, okay? We can talk about it, if you want. That's what I'm here for." He smiled warmly, giving my waist a gentle squeeze, and I couldn't help the returning smile that formed on my face. I was glad that we'd resolved that pretty easily. The tension at the table dissipated and the idle chatter started up more care-free. That is, until they brought up Christmas plans.

Mike and Jessica's families were going down to Mt. Hood in Oregon to ski and snowboard. The rest of Angela's extended family—the first batch had come the week of Thanksgiving break—was coming in to celebrate the rest of the holidays. Eric's family, though smaller than Angela's, was holding a Christmas party on the eve of, with the traditional "wake up Christmas morning and open presents in your pajamas while sipping hot cocoa."

"I'm… just going to stay home," I told them, wracking my brain for something less vague to say so they wouldn't prod too much. "It'll be a… small celebration, from what I can tell. We don't have too much extended family." I tacked on, hoping that would be enough to appease their curiosity.

"Well, you and your sister are welcome to come to the Christmas party at my house," Eric invited, taking my hand. "You could bring your folks over…."

Thus far, Eric hadn't asked about my parents. He respected that I never mentioned them or talked about them after so long, but I knew I couldn't avoid not telling him, or the rest of my friends, about them (in a sense that wouldn't involve vampires, of course). I'd met his parents already and they approved of me and sometimes the conversation would come up of him wanting to gain approval from my parents, but I always dodged the subject.

I sighed heavily. "I hate to bring this conversation down," I started, biting my lip, thinking about how I wanted to go about this. This was just the problem I could've avoided if I hadn't caved into letting Cynthia make her own friends. Lies were hard to fabricate, and over the course of two years and countless schools, I had come up with one that I could remember perfectly so I wouldn't stumble over facts or give contradicting information.

I also learned the closer to the truth, the better and easier to remember.

"My… my parents are… dead," I whispered, looking down at the table. Eric squeezed my hand and I could feel all their eyes on me.

"Oh my goodness," Angela murmured quietly.

"I'm so sorry," Jessica said.

Mike and Eric echoed Jess and Angela's sympathies and I shook my head, looking up at all of them again.

"Really, it's okay. It was two years ago, so I've had time to cope." I assured them, though my throat felt tight. Part of it was acting, part of it was remembering watching my mother being murdered viciously right in front of my eyes.

"Is that why you moved up here from California?" Mike asked. "Are you staying with relatives or something?"

I made almost a guilty-is-charged face before answering, "Oh, well… Cynthia and I are living in an apartment our relatives have rented out. They live in Port Angeles, though, so I don't think you'd know them." I laughed half-heartedly. "I mean, Cynthia and I barely know them. They're like our… cousins, twice removed, or something. As you can tell, we're not very close. They're probably going to spend Christmas with their closer family." I shrugged.

I got a lot of more unwanted sympathy from them for a good few more minutes, though I appreciated that they cared about me that much. Finally, things cheered up, Eric making sure to let me know that Cynthia and I were welcomed guests at his party. I was just glad that I'd managed to mend what I'd done these past few weeks from brooding about Jasper too much.

When it was time to say goodbye to Eric, so we could both get to our respective classes, our goodbye kiss lingered enough to make Mike clear his throat awkwardly. How normal this felt. It was wonderful.

We were doing a lab today in Forensics. We had moved into the blood section of this class, having started with blood testing. Of course, I knew my blood type already, so I hadn't participated (A negative, just if you wanted to know). It was amusing watching some people get so worked up over a prick on the finger though.

Anyway, as I said, we had a lab today. It was going to take two class periods to complete. Mr. Banner said he was feeling generous and in the "holiday spirit" so he let us pick our own partners.

Which left me in somewhat of a dilemma.

Jasper and I still weren't on very good speaking terms, so when he announced that and let us loose to go start the lab everyone else instantly went to find their friends in the class, I was unsure of what to do. I glanced nervously over at Jasper, wondering if I should make the first move and ask him. It was in this slight moment of pause did Mike take advantage of and come over to our table.

"Hey, Alice, do you want to be partners?" he asked. I paused again, glancing back at Jasper. A pang of guilt ran through me knowing that no human (aside from me) was likely to willing pick a Cullen (or Hale) as a partner for… anything in this school, and I didn't want to leave Jasper hanging. At the same time, Mike was my friend and I didn't want him to have given up working with Angela or another friend in this class because he'd came over to me.

"I honestly don't care," Jasper finally spoke, making me jump. His eyes had slid over to me. "Do what you want."

I don't think he meant for it to sound as cold as it had come out, but I felt a prick of hurt before indignation rushed through me. Fine, he could be that way.

I turned back to Mike with a smile, "I'd love to be your partner." I told him sweetly, standing up and grabbing my packet and something to write with. We went over to his empty table to plan which things we were going to do first. It was a blood spatter analysis lab, in which we'd be using a ton of fake blood to make foot prints, drag marks, find terminal velocity of a blood drop, and the part all the students were most excited for: analyzing actual blood spatter that we got to make ourselves.

Mike wanted to do the blood spatter first, and I hesitantly agreed, afraid that that's what everyone else would want to do first, but to my surprise when we gathered our fake blood and went out into the hall (because there wasn't enough room inside the classroom for this) there weren't as many groups making a mess as I thought there'd be.

We carefully stepped around people acting out the different types of blood spatter on our list—coming from a cut in the carotid artery, across a long distance on the ground, if someone had flung their hand back when stabbing someone, etc. And this was all done on paper, so the hallways weren't being harmed (don't worry). There was the occasional miss, and clean up, but it was a good thing this was fake blood.

It was almost comical how much fun the students were having with this lab. I would've laughed had their flinging fake blood around like a child with finger paints not triggered something. It was odd, I'd watch someone fling their ruler that was covered in fake blood at some paper only to have the scene change to actual blood flying across a greyish colored wall.

I blinked hard and tried to shake it off, the scene going back to what I was actually seeing but when I turned away from it, I met another scene of someone trying to mimic the blood spatter coming from an artery in the neck. They were at such an angle that as the blood spurted out, it looked like they were really bleeding from the neck. My vision flashed again and I saw more, real blood hit the wall. Someone's scream of agony being cut off with a sickening gurgle replaced the noise of excited teens.

I blinked hard again my stomach knotting up, feeling lightheaded all of a sudden. My ears rung so loud I could barely hear anything anymore and when I opened my eyes all I saw were spots that resembled static on an old television screen. I could hear Mike's voice but it was far away, muted, and I couldn't make out what he was saying.

Words fell out of my own mouth, "I don't feel so good," right before my vision faded all together, the ringing stopped to be replaced by deafening silence, and my whole world turned dark.

I wasn't sure how long this lasted but the next thing I knew my name was being called. It was clearer now, but I still felt slightly sick, but less dizzy, thankfully. I struggled to open my eyes, blinking rapidly trying to make the blobs hovering over me into shapes I could distinguish.

"What… what happened?" I asked breathlessly, as my vision slowly returned to normal and I could see again. I was looking up at the ceiling. To my right was Mike, next to him was Mr. Banner, on my left and across from Mr. Banner was Angela, and when I turned my head over to my immediate left, I saw Jasper, which shocked me more than what Mike told me.

"You fainted," he said. I tore my eyes away from Jasper to look at Mike. "You were wobbling a bit and told me you didn't feel good right before you collapsed."

"Huh," was all I could manage to say. I continued to look around, trying to gather my bearings. My left hand shifted a bit as I did so, hitting something… cold. I turned my head slightly to see what I'd hit, though I knew already what I'd find. Jasper's hand was resting, holding him up, close to mine. A bit too close, almost like he purposefully put it there. Or maybe… like he'd wanted to take my hand but thought better of it.

"How are you feeling, Alice?" Mr. Banner asked, bringing my attention to him.

Without saying anything, I carefully and slowly started to lift myself up. My stomach churned at his movement, slow as it was, and my head began to spin.

"Oh," I gasped as my arms seemed to give out and I felt myself falling.

"Alice!" Jasper exclaimed, reaching out to catch me before Mike, whose hands recoiled as soon as he realized Jasper had caught me, could. One of Jasper's arm had come around my shoulders, his free hand had—and I wasn't sure if it was on purpose or not—taken my hand.

"I'm okay," I told them my voice sounding weaker than I'd intended.

"Why don't you go rest in the nurse's office," Mr. Banner suggested. "Will one of you take her to the nurse?" he requested, looking between Mike and Jasper.

"I will," Jasper said almost immediately, and again, before Mike.

I turned my head to look at him, confused. When had he started caring so much all of a sudden? Not that it didn't feel… good, I'll admit, it was just after having gone so long without speaking, I was beginning to give it up. Maybe my visions hadn't meant anything. Maybe it was just leading up to the fact that I was going to meet the Cullens one day. Maybe it was foreshadowing my future as a vampire.

But this, right here, made me think otherwise.

"No, I couldn't pull you away from the lab," I said, voice still weaker than I wanted it to sound.

"We have another day, it'll be fine." Jasper assured softly.

As Jasper helped me up, I thought about how hard this must be for him, and tried to determine if there was any danger—not that I didn't trust him. However, the sickness I felt in my stomach and my spinning head was different than the kind I felt when I was near Jasper. It had been caused by those weird flashbacks.

Still, I was wary. Even if he had his thirst under control, my primal instincts when it came to vampires was kicking in. Being in such close contact with him, feeling the coolness of his skin set me on edge.

When we were standing again, Jasper kept his hand firmly in mine, with his free arm around my waist now.

I paused briefly and looked at Mike apologetically, "I'm really sorry," I told him.

Mike smiled good-naturedly, though it didn't quite match is his eyes, and replied, "It's all good, Alice. Your wellbeing is more important."

"…thanks," I mumbled.

"Feel better soon, Alice," Angela added. I looked over my shoulder at her and smiled, also thanking her. Then Jasper and I started toward the nurse's office and I noticed, despite holding my hand and his arm around my waist, he managed to keep at least an inch or two between us.

The walk was quiet, but I didn't mind as much this time because I still trying to figure out if I was sick because of being so close to Jasper or if I was still getting over whatever happened back there. It wasn't like that nausea and vertigo would go away just like that, was it? That wasn't how it worked, right? Especially with my aversion to being so close to vampires in general….

I suck a side-glance at Jasper. Maybe it was him? Maybe something in his mindset had changed enough to take away, at the very least, the sickness it caused me to be so close to him (only because there was that underlying danger that he could kill me at any moment). There still had to be burning in his throat, though, right? My eyes strayed down to his shoulders, his chest. Was he breathing? I couldn't quite tell.

Suddenly his light golden eyes slid over and met mine. He'd caught me looking. A deep blush stained my cheeks and I quickly looked away, my heart hammering in my chest. That didn't help the lightheadedness, and my stomach seemed to tighten. I felt queasy but it was an odd sort of queasy, it felt almost… good. Was this what people meant when they said they had butterflies in their stomach? Now that I thought about it, it was reminiscent of how I'd felt when Eric and I had started dating, and when we'd had our first kiss.

Exactly the same, in fact, only maybe magnified by a million.

How strange….

All right, so things are heating up… sort of. Things'll get a little more dramatic, for the lack of a better word, between Alice and Jasper in the next chapter, though, so stay tuned! In other things, I hope the make-up scenes didn't feel too rushed…. And yes, the title is taken from the song, "This is Gospel" by Panic! At the Disco.

Not much else to say, other than thank you so, so very much for all your wonderful feedback! My readers, my beautiful, wonderful readers, I can't thank you enough! And, as always, I hope you enjoyed.

Thank you for reading,
TheBrighestNight