"You Said You Loved Me"
- A Niley fic, chapter twelve, "Flooded With All This Pain"
"Smile," Nick said, nudging my elbow softly. I didn't budge. "Come on, you've been like a statue all day."
Nick and I sat on his porch steps, both in two way different moods. He seemed oddly happy, and I was anything but. I folded my arms over my chest and refused to look at him. I stared up at the bright moon, the only light shining on us. I usually never felt comfortable being outside at night. But having Nick there eased my tension. I heard him clear his throat, and I rolled my eyes. He nudged me again. "What?!" I yelled, turning to him, snapping right in his face. He winced at first, and put up his hands in defense. "What's your problem?" He asked, concern etching his tone. "You know what," I said, glaring at him. I blew out a deep breath and gazed back up at the sky. "Look... I know you're not happy about me moving, but... I have to," he explained, his once cheery tone gone. I slowly turned to look at him, eyebrows furrowed, my mouth in a pout. Before I knew it, I charged up, and walked to the far side of his front lawn, tightening my grip on my chest.
"I can't believe you're leaving me." I heard myself say. I could hear the smooth movement of the grass, indicating that he was now behind me. I didn't bother looking. "After all we've been through... you're... leaving." I could feel him trying to turn me around, but I flinched away.
"Miley... this isn't my fault. You know I would never leave you intentionally," he tried to reason, obvious sadness in his tone. I held back the tears that were threatening to spill over. I couldn't believe I was getting emotional... over something I couldn't control. But when I felt the warmth of his hands on my arms, slowly turned me around, I was smitten. I was drowning. I kept my head down.
"What?" I said, my flip flops fondling the grass bristles. "Hey," Nick said, lifting my chin up so that my eyes met his. I tried to avoid it, but his intense stare rattled me. I finally gave in and looked him in the eyes. "You know I'd never leave you purposely... right?" Of course I knew that. He was my.... I didn't know what he was to me. A friend? A best friend? A best, best friend? A lover... my life.... "I guess," I said, my voice low. "But... I can't function without you. You know that." Nick looked at me strangely. "No, you can't function without blood. You can live without me." What? "Don't say that," I said, my voice coming out in a harsh whisper. With all that we'd been through, all the times he'd been there for me, all the times I needed a shoulder to cry on, he was there. He was my savior. He was all I had. And if I couldn't live without blood, then I couldn't live without him either. "Don't ever say that." I blinked, and could feel the damp wetness staining my left cheek. Nick looked ashamed and gently thumbed my tears away. "I'm sorry," he said, his eyes searching mines. "I'm sorry..."
Grass tumbled, the trees rocked back and forth. It was starting to feel more and more like summer each day. I took the time to stand out on my front lawn and just try to enjoy the beauty of California. But no matter how much I stared at the sky, or the trees, or the grass, or even the sun, my eyes would unwillingly look over at the next house, and my mouth would frown slightly. The Nick's word ran through my mind; smile. Impossible. I hadn't smiled a day ever since the breakup. I hadn't even laughed for an actual funny reason.
I bent down and retrieved the morning paper, as usual, lagging while walking. I held up the paper to my view point until I was able to read the small font. One Ad caught my eye. Relationship Counsler. I swallowed and wondered... maybe if I went to this "counsler," then I could somehow... get over all of it? Another impossible thought. No person, professional therapist or not, was going to make me get over anything. No less, anyone... but my eyes found the number, and I felt frantic enough to call.
You can just go to check it out... your mom doesn't have to know, one side of my conscience told me. The other side said, think about it. You're in love with Nick. This "therapist" is just going to bring even more stress on you. I sighed... don't knock it till you've tried it. A door slowly creaked open, and I instantly turned my head to the scene. Joe was stepping out of his house, not noticing me. I blew out a deep breath and turned around, entering my own house. I quietly tore out the Ad and stuffed it into my back pocket, walking into the kitchen, throwing the newspaper on the table.
"Miley, you want anything before I go to work?" Mom asked, cutting off the stove, the smell of burnt eggs clogging my nose.
"Uh, no thanks. I'm just gonna go upstairs and read..." I said, shuffling out of the room before she could mutter another word.
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I gripped my cell phone tightly in my hand, debating on whether I should or shouldn't call this counsler... my conscience once again came into my head, telling me it was right, and then telling me it would only hurt me... I decided to suck it up. I wanted to be over Nick. The only way to get rid of the pain was to get over him. Or so I thought.
I dialed the number and then held the phone to my ears, shaking all the while. One ring, and it was already picked up.
"LA Counsling, name please?"
"Um... I'm Miley Stewart. Can I make an appointment?" I asked, feeling awkward.
"Sure," the lady said in a nice, cheery, fake tone. "Which counsler would you like to make an appointment to see?"
I was stuck. I knew no counslers.
"The... relationship counsler?" I asked, not so sure. There was a brief pause, and then the lady spoke again.
"Dr. Doyle..." She said, pausing again. Probably writing down info. "Okay, well when do you think you can be available?" She asked. I tapped my foot on the edge of my bed, and looked up at my ceiling fan.
"Is tomorrow okay?" I asked, tightening my grip on the phone.
"Perfect. Mrs. Doyle's always here, so if you ever need to make an appointment, she'll be here. Except for the weekends and Holidays," the receptionist explained. I nodded and cleared my throat. "So... you're appointment will be around 9AM. Sound good, or too early?"
Early? It was perfect. Mom would be at work, and... well, I'd be free. Anything to get out of the ratty old house. I just hoped it wasn't one of those group counslings. I wouldn't be caught dead sharing my issues with others... not that it was bad or anything, but... it was no one else's business. Except me and... well, the counsler.
"Sounds good."
"Great! I hope to check you in tomorrow morning then," she said. I could tell she was smiling.
A/N: I was going to add the counsling part, but I'll save that for the next chapter. This was kind of a filler, and there was no Nick. :( But, you did get some of him in that flashback at the beginning of the chapter, so, yeah. I hope you enjoyed it. Review!