I'm back! And I'm passing math! I don't know what I'm getting, but I'm passing! We're done with Trig, so now we're on Integrated Algebra which is much easier. I just finished my HUGE test earlier today, and I'm not sure how I did, but I was prepped and I answered every question as best I could, and there's really nothing I can do about it for now.

My reviewers are all incredibly awesome. Now I must respond to them:

Iheartstanley - Yay hero Kelly! I don't remember saying anything about killing Jim, though…And you already read the letter. It was the one signed Pammy.

JAMonMyToast - Thanks! Of course, since it's the office, everything important has to happen in front of everyone (or at least a cameraman) and somewhere between Monday and Friday. I mean, of course. Because stuff totally happens like that in real life. Duh.

Dizzy The Magical Fpoon - Thanks! Sorry this took so long, internet problems followed by internet banning…

Bingbangboom714 - And I, too, have a feeling that you have a correct theory…OMG!

Wildthing008 - Thanks! I love ending chapters with a BANG! And thanks for the PM support. I needed that.

DragonWingedHanyou - Yes, Angela is still Angela, but Angela will always be Angela and no amount of threats to the Angela-ness of Angela will ever change that fact. Oh, and one more thing…All the mavericks in the house put your hands up! I see you groaning in my head…

BasementOfTheMansion - Congratulations on being the first to decipher the pig-latin password. No, this isn't a prank, and I'm pretty sure your other questions will be answered…

Miss-Jedi - Hm, that gives me an idea for a fic… J

As all of you know, because of recent events in The Office, even if Pam WAS home the following chapters would be complete and total BS. Roy seems to be ok with the whole JAM thing, or, at least, he's decent enough to act like it. Jan had the baby, MICHAEL AND HOLLY ARE DATING…so, yeah, the next 3 chapters are total BS. But whatever. It's fun to pretend.

Also: I own nothing. Also also, sorry for the address. I'm bad at making things up and I don't really know any Scranton street names…

POLICE REPORT 9/12/08

Nature of Case: Kidnapping

Victim(s): Pamela Beesly

Injuries sustained: Bruising of the arms and face

Suspect(s): Roy Anderson

Items taken:

On 9-12-08, at approximately 5:35 pm, it was reported by Jim Halpert and Kelly Kapoor that Pamela Beesly was being held against her will in apartment A of 123 Fake Street, Scranton, by Roy Anderson. Two officers responded to the report. Thus far, investigation has concluded that Anderson did indeed break into the residence of Beesly on 9-5-08 at approximately 9:00 pm. Beesly was not in her home at the time. Neighbors confirmed that Beesly entered her apartment at approximately 9:30 pm and was not seen afterwards. They have also confirmed that there were some loud noises coming from the apartment, but they did not report them because they possessed no knowledge of the source of the noise.

When the two officers entered the apartment, it was noted that a vase had been broken and the pieces were still on the floor. Also, phone cords had appeared to have been cut. Beesly had the imprints of ropes on her wrists, which indicate that she may have been tied up to something but had recently been untied. James Halpert and Kelly Kapoor were questioned at the scene and taken to the station for further interrogation, but so far we have found no sign that they were involved in the kidnapping. The transcripts of the interrogations of Halpert and Kapoor can be found in the following pages. Further investigation including investigation of text messages sent to Beesly's phone and emails sent to and from Beesly's account are recommended. Anderson appeared to be very heavily intoxicated. Beesly did not appear to have sustained any serious injuries, only a few bruises on her face and arms. Halpert and Kapoor both immediately claimed that Anderson had been holding Beesly. After some questioning at the scene, Beesly also confirmed this. Anderson, being intoxicated, charged at and attempted to punch Halpert. He was immediately arrested for attempted assault and suspicion of kidnapping.

Signed:

Jack Connor

Jack Conner, Police Chief

TRANSCRIPT: INTERROGATION OF JAMES HALPERT

INTERROGATION CONDUCTED 9-12-08 BY PETE BAUER

BAUER: Can you please describe the events that occurred this evening?

HALPERT: I was really worried about Pam, and Kelly thought she knew what happened to her, so we drove over to Pam's apartment to check it out.

BAUER: What was Kelly's idea?

HALPERT: She thought that Roy had Pam. I didn't believe her at first, but she showed me the text messages on her phone and I knew we had to go find her.

BAUER: Kelly read Pam's text messages?

HALPERT: Look, I know it's probably some sort of violation of something, but we were all really worried. Well, I was worried, and Kelly was worried, and Dwight was a jackass, but yeah, we had to find her.

BAUER: Dwight?

HALPERT: Oh, yeah, he's this guy I work with who went all CSI and tried to solve the case. But he…well, he got sidetracked.

BAUER: You mean Dwight Shrute?

HALPERT: That's him, but it really doesn't have anything to do with-

BAUER: I know the guy. He used to volunteer here. I'm not supposed to say this, but between the two of us, he was the biggest dork I've ever seen. Anyway, back to Pam…Had you tried to find her before tonight?

HALPERT: Yeah, I went to her apartment but no one answered the door and my key couldn't open it…

(NOTE: The rest of the interrogation can be found on file under Halpert, J. It is recommended that this person be used as a witness in the trial.)

TRANSCRIPT: INTERROGATION OF KELLY KAPOOR

INTERROGATION CONDUCTED 9-12-08 BY PETE BAUER

BAUER: Can you please describe the events that occurred this afternoon and evening?

KAPOOR: Ok, so, like, oh my God, Pam had been missing for, like, a week or something like that, and we were all super worried, so on my lunch break I thought I'd go check it out, 'cause, you know, she could've been anywhere. So I drive all the way to Pam's place and go to see what's up, and all I find is this weird note on the door in her handwriting, but it totally wasn't her because it was signed Pammy and she hates being called Pammy, so then I go back to the office and read her text messages, and they're all from Roy! It was so freaky. Jim totally didn't believe me because he thought Toby did it. So I'm like, "Jim, don't you get it? It was Roy!" And he's all, "No, it was Toby, I'm sure of it, did you read her emails?" And then I'm like, "Yeah, I read them, but this makes more sense!" Then he's all like, "Thanks, but I'll handle this myself", so I show him the note and he's like, Oh my God, so then we go to Pam's place and then all this weird shit happens and then, like, you told me you wanted to ask me some stuff and I'm like, sure, why not and now here we are!

BAUER: I'm sorry, I didn't get a word of that. Speak a little slower.

KAPOOR: How much slower?

BAUER: Well, if you can say 200 words in about 45 seconds, you're going too fast.

KAPOOR: How is that too fast? I always talk like that.

BAUER: Just try to talk so I can understand you, that's all. So you went to Pam's place…?

KAPOOR: Yeah, and there was this note on the door, and it was on this weird stationary that was all, like, green and stuff and there was this random stain on it. It was kinda gross.

BAUER: So what did the note say?

KAPOOR: I just told you.

(NOTE: The interrogation was terminated at this point. It is recommended that this person is NOT used as a witness in any way or any form. DO NOT use this person as a witness.)

Sorry for the boring-ness…everything will be explained a little more next chapter, when we hear from Pam for the first time in a week…

Byee!