"Last time on Total Drama Island Crossover…" Chris introduced the new episode. "Friendships were tested as we had out campers compete in epic rap battles against members of the opposite team, judged by Geoff, Chef Hatchet, and myself. Some campers did surprisingly well, while others barely got to rap at all. In the end, the Screaming Generals out-rapped the Killer Colonels, and the votes were between Ezekiel, who refused to rap against his girlfriend Lindsay, and Owen, who not only failed to deliver a good rap, but was considered a threat. With two votes on either side, B was the deciding vote, and it was B's judgment that sent Owen home. Or was it? What life-threatening challenges do we have in store for our campers this week? Who will ride the Hurl of Shame in the most dramatic bonfire ceremony yet? Find out, right here, on Total. Drama. Island! CROSSOVER!"
Warp to the guys' cabin. It's early in the morning, and Cody, Harold, Alejandro, Ezekiel, and B were sound asleep.
Geoff had just awoken, yawning as he stretched. "Morning, dudes."
"Morning Geoff…" Cody replied, still half-asleep. Cody's eyes shot open in realization. "Geoff?"
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"I was one of the judges in yesterday's challenge," Geoff reminded. "They never really told me to go back to Playa Des Losers when the challenge was over, so I decided to crash with the campers. Who knows? Maybe Chris will let me back in the game!"
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"No." Chris was now in the boys' cabin, and the other male campers were all awake at this point.
"Aw, come on, dude! Ya gotta give me another chance!" Geoff pleaded.
"What about Dakota? Shouldn't you two be, I dunno, making out in the hot tub or something?"
"Right… Dakota…" Geoff started to sweat.
"Is something wrong with you and Dakota?" Harold asked.
"Well, she's getting kinda… clingy…"
"How so?" Chris asked.
"You see this?" Geoff pointed to a black circle on the back of his neck that had the letters DM in the middle.
"Did she… brand you?" Alejandro seemed rather surprised.
"That's not all! Right now she's in the middle of celebrating our two-week anniversary, and she already made her Facebook photo a picture of me."
"Well, that doesn't seem that bad," Cody told him.
"It's a picture of me… in my sleep!" Geoff grabbed Cody's shoulders.
"Alright," Chris said. "You can stay here at Camp Wawanakwa. But you'll be serving as my assistant until I decide otherwise."
"Aw, thanks dude!" Geoff enthusiastically shook Chris's hand.
"Don't mention it." Chris smiled. "Now, for your first task as my assistant, I want you to gather the campers to the Dock of Shame. I have an important announcement."
Warp to the Dock of Shame.
"Campers…" Chris smiled. "I have some good news. You nine campers have truly shown that you have what it takes to make it in this game. So, I've decided to mess with that a bit." Chris laughed. "First of all, the teams as you know them are no more. And I'm not talking about making new teams. No, the teams are officially merged. There are no more teams. Now, it's every camper for himself."
"Alright, eh!" Ezekiel cheered.
"Secondly… I've decided that it wouldn't be a season of Total Drama if we didn't bring back some eliminated contestants, so I've decided to bring back two, count 'em, two campers that you guys have voted out."
"No way!" Lindsay exclaimed.
"Way! First of all, back from his judging position in our last challenge, we have… Geoff!"
"Wait, I thought I was-"
"We can talk later, Geoff," Chris interrupted. "Also returning to Camp Wawanakwa is a camper I'm sure you're all very familiar with. Love her or hate her, you have to admit she's tenacious. So tenacious, in fact, that the legal team decided it'd be best if we gave her another shot at the million. Back by nobody's demand but her own… iiiiiit's Courtney!"
"Hey! Why couldn't you bring back LeShawna, or someone else we care about?" Harold asked accusingly.
"I heard that, you little weasel," Courtney exclaimed at Harold.
"GAHH! Where did you come from?"
"Your worst nightmares, dude," Geoff whispered to Harold.
"I heard that too!" Courtney yelled.
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"So, here's the story with Geoff," Chris explained. "I wasn't lying when I said I'd make him my assistant. Technically, he's a camper on Camp Wawanakwa, and he will be competing in challenges, but when he's not competing in challenges, he will be doing whatever I ask of him. It's a win-win, ain't it?"
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Warp to the mess hall. Chris, Chef, and all eleven campers, were present.
"Alright, cockroaches, listen up!" Chef Hatchet yelled.
"Thank you, Chef," Chris smiled. "Okay, campers, today's challenge is another TDI classic: the Brunch of Disgustingness!"
"Hey! No fair! The guys have six members while the girls only have five!" Courtney pointed out.
"Yes, Courtney, very astute, however, that's not how this one's going to work," Chris told her. "This will be a different type of Brunch of Disgustingness. Each camper will be served a famously gross dish, which he or she must eat! If a camper refuses to eat what's served, or pukes trying, that camper will be out of the challenge! In the end, there will be only one camper standing, and that camper will win Invincibility for the night. So with that out of the way… who's hungry?"
Chef laid out plates of white cylindrical glop in front of each camper.
"Don't worry, this time we'll be serving you actual food." Chris told the campers. "Whether or not it's disgusting is really up to you. Our first course will be cream of mushroom soup. Minus the soup,"
Lindsay poked the glop with her spoon before trying a small bite. She promptly gagged, but managed to keep it down.
"You gonna eat yours, eh?" Ezekiel asked Lindsay. Lindsay turned to see that Ezekiel had already finished his cream of mushroom. She shook her head and pushed her plate to Ezekiel, who was more than happy to eat what was on it.
The other campers managed to eat theirs with little problem.
"Looks like course one is over, and with only one casualty," Chris announced. "Sorry, Lindsay."
"What! How come I'm out?!" Lindsay asked desperately.
"You didn't eat your cream of mushroom. The rules are that if you don't eat your food or throw up, then you're out of the challenge. "
"Awww…" Lindsay looked sad as she left the mess hall.
Chef began laying plates with a yellowish-white block of cheese on each of them.
"Our next course will be year-old Limburger cheese," Chris smiled. "Infamous for its pungent odor reminiscent of feet."
The campers all started eating their cheese hesitantly, save for Courtney, who was rather enjoying it.
"Mmm, Chris, this is simply delectable," Courtney commented. "Cody, will you be finishing yours?" Courtney took Cody's cheese before Cody could respond and put the whole thing in her mouth.
"It shouldn't be delectable!" Chris glared. "Cheeeeeef! Why did you choose 'delectable' cheese?"
"How was I supposed to know you were bringing back Spoiled Rich Girl?" Chef asked.
Geoff started choking on a piece of his Limburger, eventually vomiting it up. "Augh… dude…" Geoff held his stomach as he made his exit from the mess hall.
The rest of the campers finished their cheese with little trouble, with the exception of Cody, who had no cheese.
"Welp, it looks like Geoff and Cody couldn't make it past the Limburger. Sucks to be them," Chris smiled.
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"I'm sure you're all wondering why someone of my taste and class would just steal a piece of cheese from Cody," Courtney smiled self-righteously. "Simple: It's Cody's fault that I left the game in the first place! If he had never left that Invincibility Statue in the confessional, Dakota never would have used it and I wouldn't have to threaten with lawsuits to get my way back on this stupid show!" Courtney composed herself. "That's why I ate Cody's cheese. If he doesn't get Invincibility, then I can vote him off. It's simple, really."
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Geoff had returned to the mess hall with an outfit similar to the ones worn by the interns in Season 4. He helped Chef lay down the next course, which looked strangely like a brain.
"Our next course is raw monkey brains, an excellent delicacy often consumed in Asian countries," Chris beamed.
"What?!" Dawn dropped her spoon.
"Awesome… maybe by eating the monkey's brain, all the monkey's knowledge will be transferred to my brain…" Harold fantasized. He turned to Jo. "Maybe, I can learn the secrets of our ancestors, and-" Jo slammed Harold's face onto the plate before taking a bite of the brain.
"Aren't you going to eat your monkey brain, Dawn?" Alejandro asked.
"I… I can't…" Dawn frowned. "Animals are my friends. I don't eat meat, let alone..." Dawn gulped. "…brains…"
"You sure, Dawn? All the other campers seem to be doing fine," Chris reminded her.
Dawn gulped as she started driving her spoon into the brain, but couldn't bring herself to even fully scoop a piece off, and started crying as she ran out of the mess hall.
"Well, looks like Dawn's out," Chris remarked. "How are the rest of you holding up?"
For the most part, the campers looked really sick, but they had all finished their brain and managed to keep it down.
"Great! Time for the next course!"
Chef and Geoff laid out three-inch cubes of candy-colored… something.
"For your next meal, you'll be served a nice big piece of fondant," Chris explained. "Ordinarily used on cakes in small quantities, but eating enough at once can prove to be a challenge. Have fun."
"Cake?! I like cake!" Sierra exclaimed as she threw the whole block of fondant in her mouth. Her eyes suddenly bugged out. "That's not cake!" she said with her mouth still full.
Jo took a medium-sized bite of her fondant and quickly coughed it up. "Gahh! This cannot be food, MacLean!"
"Well, Chef prepared it, so really, that's up to interpretation…" Chris smiled. Chef growled at him.
Ezekiel was halfway done with his fondant before slamming his head against the table. "Too… sweet… eh…" Ezekiel stood up and left the mess hall.
"For once, I agree with Homeschool," Jo said angrily as she too left the mess hall.
Alejandro, B, Courtney, Harold, and Sierra had all finished their blocks of fondant.
"Nice job, campers. I'm surprised you've all made it this far," Chris smiled. "Chef! Geoff! What's next?"
Chef and Geoff laid out glasses of a bright yellow liquid.
"The next dish we have is called kumis," Chris told the campers.
"Like Mila Kunis? Awwwesome!" Harold giggled.
"Not Kunis. Kumis! With an M."
"Well, if it's anything like the real Mila, it's gotta be pretty hot," Harold smiled.
"Zip it, Harold." Chris glared.
B took a sip of the kumis and quickly spit it back out, throwing up all over the floor.
"Oooooh, nasty!" Chris laughed.
"Say, Chris, what exactly is this?" Sierra asked.
"I'm glad you asked, Sierra. Kumis is an excellent beverage which in layman's terms could be described as 'fizzy, moldy, horse milk'." Chris laughed. "It does have mild alcohol content, but you're all of legal drinking age by now, right? Don't answer that. Also, I feel inclined to warn you that it makes an excellent laxative."
Courtney threw up at the very imagery Chris gave her.
"Hahaha. Nice!" Chris yelled. "Chef! Geoff! We're down to the final three! Bring in Delicacy X."
Chef and Geoff nervously served Alejandro, Harold, and Sierra, a plate with what looked like a grey flap of skin surrounded by red liquid.
"Now, I know this one's going to do it for some of you," Chris told them. "In fact, just telling you what it is may cause pre-necessary puke-age. So I'm going to let you eat it first."
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"Look, mang, I've been to war! I've seen some pretty brutal stuff out there!" Chef vented. "But THIS?! Chris may be goin' too far with this!"
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Harold and Alejandro glanced nervously at each other before taking a bite out of what they were served. Sierra, on the other hand, was enjoying her… whatever it was… and was almost finished eating it.
"What is wrong with you two? It's delicious!" Sierra exclaimed.
"It tastes like rotten fish…" Harold told Sierra.
"Really? Mine tastes like normal fish. Lemme try." Sierra took Harold's food and took a bite. "Tastes okay to me."
"Chris… at the risk of losing the challenge… what is this?" Alejandro asked.
"You'll have to finish it to find out." Chris was enjoying this way too much.
Harold gulped as he held his nose, put the rest of the food in his mouth, chewed and swallowed. Alejandro followed suit.
"Alright…" Al panted. "Now, what was that?"
"Are you sure you want me to-"
"Just tell us already! GOSH!" Harold exclaimed.
"It's placenta," Chris smiled innocently.
Alejandro and Harold immediately began to look sick as they threw up all over each other.
"What's 'placenta'?" Sierra asked.
"Never mind that!" Chris put his arm around Sierra's shoulder. "What you should be thinking about is the Invincibility you've just won!"
"Coolzers!" Sierra exclaimed. Suddenly, her gut started moaning.
"That's probably the kumis talking," Chris told her. "I'd go hit the can if I were you."
"Okay!" Sierra smiled as she ran out the mess hall, leaving Harold and Al, who were still vomiting.
"Hey, Geoff, you can clean this up, right?" Chris asked as he turned to Geoff, who was also throwing up.
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"Okay, I've seen every episode of this show since I was unfairly kicked off, so I know about Cody's little 'alliance' with Alejandro," Courtney explained. "I'm going to need five votes to kick off Cody. Obviously, I'll be voting for him, but I'm going to need three more…Hmmm…." Courtney tapped her chin.
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Warp to the cave, where Alejandro, Dawn, Cody, and Sierra are meeting.
"So, what was the final dish?" Cody asked.
"Don't ask…" Alejandro moaned. He quickly covered Sierra's mouth so she wouldn't tell him. "Anyway, I'm sure the vote tonight is rather obvious,"
"…No." Dawn admitted.
"The main purpose of this alliance is to vote off major threats," Alejandro reminded them. "And who's the biggest threat in this game?"
"You, silly!" Sierra giggled.
Al sighed. "Besides me?" The rest of his alliance gave him blank looks. "Courtney! She's tenacious, she's good at challenges, and she can threaten the weak minded to vote with her!"
Warp to the guys' cabin.
"…and if you don't vote for Cody, I'll be forced to tear you limb from limb!" Courtney was yelling at Ezekiel, Geoff and Harold, who were cowering from Courtney. "I hope you consider my offer," Courtney said benevolently as she exited the guys' cabin.
Warp back to Alejandro's alliance.
"But there's only four of us; we're going to need more votes to take out Courtney," Cody pointed out.
"Trust me; I have it all under control…" Alejandro smirked.
Warp to the forest.
Jo had set up a punching bag on one of the trees, and B was holding onto it while Jo started attacking it.
"Jo. B. Have I got a proposition for you!" Alejandro greeted them.
"I find your proposition both arrogant and offensive," Jo stated without ceasing her punching.
"…I haven't even told you what it is yet."
Jo sighed in an annoyed fashion. "Whaddaya want, Pretty Boy?"
"I'm simply proposing a temporary truce to remove a common enemy from the game."
"Who did you have in mind?" Jo asked.
"Courtney."
"Courtney? What has she done besides complain about everything?"
"Didn't you see her in Season 2? She probably would have won the game if she weren't so… disagreeable."
"Hm… Well I hate to admit it, but ya have a point there." Jo paused. "We'll think about it. Now leave me alone so I can train!" Jo returned to assaulting the punching bag.
Warp to the amphitheater, where Ezekiel and Lindsay are sitting on the bleachers.
"So, who are you gonna vote for, eh?" Ezekiel asked.
"I'm thinking Ezekiel," Lindsay said with a serious tone. "He's hardly done anything in this game, and I don't think laziness should be rewarded. What do you think, Tyler?"
Ezekiel looked dumbfounded for a second, but quickly shook it off and got back on topic. "Well, a lot of us were gonna vote for Cody, eh."
"How come?"
"Because… uh…" Ezekiel really didn't know why Courtney wanted Cody gone. "I'll make out with you?" Ezekiel offered.
"D'okay!" Lindsay exclaimed as she and Ezekiel began making out.
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"The thing is, Courtney has an excellent point in voting out Cody," Harold stated. "It's common knowledge that Cody is aligned with Alejandro, and any weaker Alejandro gets is certainly beneficial not just to me, but to this game! Plus, I kind of like my limbs. They're a key aspect to a grand majority of my many wicked skills. I'd better go tell Jo and B and see what they say."
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"I dunno, I'm actually thinking about what Pretty Boy said," Jo admitted. "Or I was until Harold comes up to me and starts going on about why voting for Cody is a good idea! We have a dilemma here, folks, and whatever happens, it ain't gonna be pretty."
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Warp to the bonfire. Alejandro, Dawn, Jo, B, Courtney, Sierra, Cody, Harold, Ezekiel, Lindsay, and Geoff all sat on a tree stump with a stick in hand. Chris stood opposite them, holding a platter with ten marshmallows on it.
"Well, it's been a long, disgusting day, hasn't it campers?" Chris asked. "And yet, despite your efforts, you're all here, at the bonfire, with the possibility of getting voted off. Remember, if you receive a marshmallow, that means you are safe for the night, and have not been voted off. But since there's eleven of you, and ten marshmallows, one of you is going to wish you'd made a better impression on the campers."
There was a short, suspenseful pause.
"Sierra, since you won Invincibility, you get the first marshmallow." Chris threw a marshmallow at Sierra.
"Harold."
"B."
"Jo."
"Ezekiel."
"Geoff."
"Lindsay."
"Dawn."
"Alejandro."
Chris emphasized the one marshmallow left on his plate. Cody and Courtney both sat on their tree stumps in anticipation for the final name to be called.
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"…Courtney."
"WHAT?!" Cody, Sierra, and Alejandro all yelled in shock.
"But… they can't vote off Cody! I won't allow it!" Sierra proclaimed.
"Well, you're not the boss of this show – that'd be me – so what you say doesn't really matter here." Chris said. "Geoff. A little help."
Warp to the Hurl of Shame.
Chris and Geoff are dragging Cody by the arms to the catapult, while Sierra, crying, is holding onto Cody's leg for dear life, sobbing. Chris and Geoff tried throwing Cody into the catapult, but Sierra's weight threw them off.
"Uh, Sierra. You're gonna have to let go now," Chris told her.
"I… I… I CAN'T!" Sierra sobbed.
"Look, Sierra…" Cody rubbed the back of his head. "I don't know how to say this, but… I want you to win this game. For us. You got that?"
Sierra let go of Cody's leg. "You mean it?" Chris and Geoff took this opportunity to throw Cody into the catapult.
"Yeah, totally." Cody chuckled nervously.
"How about we seal it with a kiss?" Sierra asked. She leaned in to kiss Cody, but he pulled the lever of the catapult, throwing himself to Playa Des Losers.
"Hey! I wanted to hurl the loser!" Chris threw a mock temper tantrum. "Whatever. Maybe I'll get to hurl the loser next time, on the next episode's most dramatic bonfire ceremony ever! Right here, on Total. Drama. Island! CROSSOVER!"
Sierra started bawling again.
"Yeah, that's your problem, dude," Chris said to Geoff as he walked away.