A/N: Hello everyone! I want to thank from the bottom of my heart all of you, very, very much, for sticking with this story and for continuing to give me all of your wonderful support! I really hope that I will be able to meet everyone's expectations and above everything, offer you plenty of enjoyment through the reading of this story! Now, because a lot of people are asking and quite frequently, about Izaya's wife, it's none other than Namie and their relationship is already explained in the very first chapter. So check it out once again and it will answer all the questions that should be answered at this point of the story. Again, thank you all very much for your support! I hope that I'll manage to keep your interest intact until the end! :)

Chapter 12

SHIT I LET MY GUARD DOWN SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!

For probably the first time after they met, Shizuo's and Izaya's thoughts were in complete sync, as they made their way towards the camp, Shizuo dripping wet all over through his completely drenched clothes and Izaya walking behind him completely numb, just keeping up the pace mechanically. Neither talked until they reached their own tent, and neither dared to look the other in the face.

They continued to find themselves in the same situation even after several hours, even after Shizuo dried himself and his clothes up, even after they ate. From Shizuo's part, he had just acted on pure impulse, seeing Izaya acting so casually and hearing him talk like… like they had chores to do and take care of things when they would get back home. Like they were in a purely normal situation and they just… dealt with normal problems. And that had made him happy and he just… he just did it. Now, thinking back, it was a rather stupid move of his part. Probably the stupidest one he had committed so far. Just when he was so proud and full of himself for not giving into temptation, this meaning hurting Izaya and falling into his trap, he did something Izaya wouldn't let him live down, no way he would. It seemed strange and ominous to Shizuo that he hadn't said anything so far though. He kept stealing glances at the other man but Izaya always happened to have his back turned on him.

As far as Izaya himself was concerned, he felt emptier than usual. Well he was never the one to give into powerful emotions… he felt them, but he never acted according to them, at least not without careful thinking and planning. He prided himself in the fact that he was able to tame his own feelings and keep them under control. Of course, he had never before experienced so many feelings all at once that he wasn't able to recognize which was which. So far. Until then.

Consequently, he concluded that the best course of action in the current situation was to draw a blank and to stop thinking about anything. It was an option he abhorred, and he had never followed before, but all he was able to understand right then was that he needed first to calm down before he drew any conclusions. He certainly wouldn't be able to act in the right way while he was drowning in a sea of hatred, humiliation, loathing, embarrassment and joy. At that time, he wasn't in the right mind to analyze what Shizuo's lips had meant on his, not when he could still feel them pressing against his own. The options 'punch him', 'stab him', 'strangle him', 'put tongue inside and lead him to fucking' were now dancing irritatingly before his eyes and it would have been fine, really, if it wasn't for the existence of the last one. But now, it was too late for a reaction… and why exactly was the existence of the last one bad? If done under the right conditions it could…

Izaya shook his head vigorously. It was NOT the time to think about it, he reminded himself. He could always plan something later. Now they needed to forget about it… not that he wouldn't remind Shizuo, come the right timing. But Shizuo had chosen to stay silent until then… Izaya suspected that Shizuo loved silence and it was one of the reasons he hated Izaya, because he would never shut up. But they couldn't go on like this at the time being.

"Say, Shizu-chan…" He said, and it was a shame that he had his back turned at him, because he missed the chance to see him twitching as he tensed up. "About our current destina-"

Suddenly, the ground under them shook. Or at least, that's how it felt to them, when they heard a loud boom coming from outside. Shizuo shot himself out, thinking that gas had exploded, but it turned out that someone far from them had just fired some heavy artillery. Izaya followed him out and he suddenly found himself in the middle of chaos.

"ENEMY ATTACK! ENEMY ATTACK!" They started screaming all over and many almost threw Izaya down with the way they were bumping onto him as they were running in frenzy, trying to pick up their guns and head to the conflict point.

"Get inside!" Shizuo yelled at him, but Izaya tried to reach him nonetheless.

"Who's attacking? What's going on?" Izaya finally got close to Shizuo but he was swiftly grabbed by him and shoved backwards, again into the tent, as the noise around them continued to grow in preparation from battle.

"Didn't I fucking tell you to get inside?" He yelled, already pissed off, as he was holding both of Izaya's arms. "Now stay here and stay down!"

"Stay?" Izaya said incredulously, no matter that Shizuo was pissed. "I don't know what it seems to you that these tents are made of, but I doubt they will be able to hold off bullets or arrows for that matter, or even your panicked buddies. Sorry Shizu-chan but I do not intend to stay here and get trampled by your-"

Izaya's sentence was cut short as Shizuo grabbed his face with both of his hands and brought it forward, covering Izaya's mouth with his own. This time, the kiss was rough and forceful, but what Izaya didn't want to recognize as passion definitely existed there. When Shizuo pulled away, this time he looked Izaya sternly in the eyes, instead of avoiding him.

"Stay here. I'll get back." He told a petrified Izaya, and then he turned his back and disappeared outside.

Izaya felt weak on the knees. He allowed himself to fall on them as he realized that he wasn't any longer able to postpone his thinking process about this issue. Options started dancing in front of his eyes again, 'You'd fucking better', 'good riddance and go die', and 'what the fuck do you think you're doing', but again, he had gloriously missed the chance to react. He knew it. Izaya was sure that this monster knew that he would freeze up again and he did it on purpose to shut him up and would probably do so in the future.

Izaya Orihara loved to read through other people. In contrast, he absolutely hated being read. And even though Shizuo had no brains, no brains absolutely, he had the ability to do just that. He knew when Izaya was scared; he knew when he was angry; he knew when he was happy. Even though he was so good at composing himself, even though he was able to deceive thousands, that animal, that single animal didn't even think about it, he just KNEW.

"I find myself hating you even more by every passing second, my dear Shizu-chan." Izaya said as he smiled, that preparation for war smile. Two could play at this game and Izaya was an expert in games, not ready to lose any time soon, especially from Shizuo.

The noise he had blocked out for some time slowly came back, only that now it was toned down a lot. It seemed like the fighting was going on a good deal away from him. Izaya just stayed there, patiently waiting, thinking of more and more ways to deal with Shizuo once he would return home, but he wasn't the one to step into the tent eventually. It was Togusa and Yumasaki.

"Hey, Izaya, get up!" Togusa ordered him. "The Commander called for you!"

"Eh? For me?" Izaya smiled as he was getting up as ordered, barely able to contain his excitement. "Is it finally time to offer my services? If so, what a delightful predicament! And here I thought I would grow old with Shizu-chan, fixing his destroyed clothing for all eternity!"

"I don't know if you should be so happy…" Yumasaki tried to reason with him, as they had already started to make their way towards Tom's tent. "The opponents attacked us out of nowhere, killed some of us who were taken by surprise, of course we quickly subdued them… but we happened to find their leader wounded and Commander Tom said that we should hold him captive… So he wants you to go speak with him now."

"I see…" Izaya nodded in understanding and his eyes shone dangerously. Had Shizuo been there, he would have understood, but now the menace Izaya was generating went by unnoticed. And of course he had hidden it well until he reached the Commander's tent. What he saw once he got there was a large cycle of people exactly in front of it, and in the center of that cycle, there lied a beaten up, dirty and tied up man in his fifties. He was wearing a brown yukata, and Izaya came just in time to see him spit out a broken tooth. A few steps in front of him was Tom, and behind Tom, stood Shizuo, as he always did when they had to deal with any kind of problem. The man on the ground was looking at them like he was trying to kill them with a glare. It was obvious to Izaya that Shizuo could barely restrain himself.

When Tom spotted him, he motioned to him to come closer. Izaya obeyed, and so he came to stand right next to Tom. "Do you know him?" Tom asked him, showing him the tied up man.

Knowing that half-baked answers and ambiguous meanings would definitely make him dig his own grave at this early point, Izaya decided to just be honest for a change… but not too much. "I do. He is a merchant from the town right ahead of us. He was a wealthy man, and used to move a lot of strings in order to gain all kinds of profits from others." Before Tom could open his mouth, Izaya continued: "His name is Okumoto Nobuhiro. What do you want me to ask of him, Commander?"

Izaya sure was quick at picking up things, Tom thought. "I want you to ask him the reason why they chose to attack us today. And also, about the possibility of other future similar attacks in our troops."

"I see." Izaya sighed in agreement, and then took some more steps forward towards the captive man. "So…"

"Oh, and, Izaya?"

"Hm?" Izaya turned and looked at Tom's severe face. "What?"

"I don't think that I have to remind you of this, but don't lie." Behind Tom, Shizuo cracked his knuckles in preparation of a showdown. "And don't say anything unnecessary either. Speak only what I tell you to speak."

"Oh my, Commander, do I really look suicidal to you?" Izaya gave out a small and bitter laugh. "It's okay, don't worry. I don't consider myself a stupid man." He said, as he turned to the guy in front of him again, who was looking at him from the time he came with a contorted face, full of pain and confusion. "Hello, Okumoto-san!" He applied the sweetest smile and happiest voice he could master, in total contrast of their environment, like they had just met in a merry reunion, as he spoke in his language for the first time after so many months. "How come I get to see you again after so much time? What a surprising coincidence!"

"Orihara?" The man let out, still in a disbelieving state. "Orihara Izaya? Is that you?"

"He is asking if it's me." Izaya informed Tom, changing his language again.

"Continue." Tom urged him.

But Okumoto was ahead of them both. "It's you, isn't it? It's you, you damn… you damn snake!" He growled and he tried to get up, but he could only stay at his knees with the way he was tied. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

After Izaya briefly translated to Tom, he answered. "As you can see, I'm here to pass your message across. I'm sure that's why you came here. To give them one. Am I wrong?"

The man gave him a sinister smile. "I expected nothing less from you. It's just like you to sell yourself out and switch sides to save your sorry ass… Well, not that it makes any difference. But are you seriously asking what message we wanted to give them? Are you seriously asking that?" The tone of his voice grew larger and heavier after each passing second. "Do you realize that we lost our families? That we lost our homes? That we lost every means of surviving, all of our hard earned fortune? Those devils came and took everything! Of course we should strike them down, even if we died trying! My wife is no longer home to make me breakfast! My daughters were taken like dogs and my sons were killed like bugs crushed under some feet! Everyone's were! And rest assured, clever informant, that your sisters are out there, either sucking dicks or rotting at the side of some road!"

Izaya clenched his fists at the mention of his sisters but was able to maintain his composure. "Well, Commander, he seems to be mad for pretty basic reasons…" He explained everything, except of course that last line.

"I see. Ask him what they are planning; we have no time to waste for this." Tom frowned, because he knew that no matter the other man's answer, he had a crucial decision to make. Attack the town in front of them as quickly as he could, or wait to discuss plans with the other Commanders, after informing them of the situation? Since the day they had arrived, that was the first time they had suffered any casualties, all because of carelessness. They couldn't go on underestimating the enemy any longer.

"I see your point, Okumoto-san." Izaya turned and started talking in his language again. "And I assure you; I'm not oblivious to the situation around us. We all do what we have to do if we want to survive though. Now, would you please tell me if there are any plans for such endeavors in the future?"

The man spat at him, but since he couldn't reach his face, the spit fell in front of Izaya's feet. "Go fuck yourselves, you pieces of shit! Why would I tell you anything?"

"Do I need to translate?" Izaya chuckled, referring to Tom.

"Try harder, and remind him of his position." Tom sighed. Of course, he already knew they wouldn't get much out of him.

"These guys want me to remind you what they are capable of doing." Izaya smiled at the older man, who had started sweating like a pig. "If you don't want them to start practicing, you'd better tell them what you know."

"Do you seriously think that I'm afraid of pain or death after this point?" The man snorted. "Tell them to do their worst!"

"Okumoto-san." Izaya suddenly adopted a very serious tone. "You're underestimating them."

"Ha? THEY are the ones underestimating US!" The man was just one step away from breaking into a crazed laughter. "Let me tell you one thing, you traitor, you pathetic little man! Our people will not stand for this! We will not stand for this! The Awakusu you betrayed are already on the move and they are going to do something that will erase you from the face of this world, permanently! For that, we are ready to give our lives!"

Izaya smirked, before he turned to Tom. "They are indeed up to something, but I don't he will tell exactly what, even if you push him." He thanked God the older man was so obvious to read, otherwise he might have had problems. "So, what will you do?"

Before Tom could answer, the man beat him to it by biting his own tongue through and through. A chaos ensued afterwards when several others grabbed him and tried to stop him but he was already choking in his own blood and swollen flesh.

"We should have seen it coming." Tom sighed. "Anyway, we wouldn't have gotten much. Those with little regard for their lives won't amount to much in interrogations. Shizuo, we're halting the attack."

"Understand." Shizuo nodded.

Izaya knew why they had chosen to do so. That move, the sudden attack in the war of attrition, intended to guide them to make their own move rashly or stop them. It was a gamble either way, but Tom had decided to be careful and wait for the other Commanders to decide in unison. Izaya's home town had just earned some time as things stood. And all Izaya had needed to know was if Awakusu's top head and in many cases, his employer, Shiki, had started to move. He could have known more if Tom trusted him enough to let him talk in detail with that man but he knew that was impossible just yet.

Of course, Izaya was never allowed to participate in meetings, but Shizuo was always there as he served as Tom's bodyguard. So, when they met each other again, was the next day, when Shizuo returned, worked to the bone and sleepless.

"Don't talk to me, I'll seriously kill you." He barely managed to tell Izaya, as he dropped on the sheets, and started snoring loudly three seconds afterwards.

Izaya murmured something about Shizuo's elegancy resembling the one of an ape but he knew very well that if he wanted to find out what was going on, he shouldn't piss Shizuo off. But that was pretty difficult in itself, plus, Izaya also hadn't gotten any sleep since yesterday and he was already stressed and irritated himself. Kururi and Mairu should be just up ahead. He didn't care. He never liked them. Then what the hell was that lump in his throat and that knot on his stomach doing there? Why couldn't he get any sleep? They were his sisters. They would be alright. He knew it, so all this worrying was absolutely needless. Needless but still there even after all this…

He eyed Shizuo, sleeping there seemingly without a care in the world. He envied him, but he still got near him and slowly wormed himself under the covers, next to him. Shizuo had his back turned at him and Izaya placed his hands on top of it, feeling the warmth of his skin under the shirt. Slowly, he felt himself finally falling to sleep, snuggling even closer to Shizuo and his pleasant warmth.

When Shizuo woke up, he turned slowly around to come face to face with a sleeping Izaya. "Hey…" He poked at him, wrapping an arm around him and pulling him closer towards his chest. Such kind of moves had already become a routine long ago for them. "Hey, Izaya…"

"Hmm?" Came the muffled answer.

"Wake up…"

"Why…" He mumbled as he rubbed his face on Shizuo's chest.

"Come on…" He replied and leaned down and softly kissed him on the cheek. "Wake u-"

He didn't need to say it twice, because Izaya had just been shaken up so badly that he pushed Shizuo violently back. Or at least he tried to, because as Shizuo wouldn't budge that easily, he just served as being leverage for Izaya to jump behind and get away from him. "Stop it!" He threw at Shizuo, who was more confused than angry for this behavior. "Enough is enough, you're stopping this!" He said as he got up and glared daggers down at Shizuo.

"Wha- I wouldn't do anything!" Shizuo exclaimed, dumbfounded and maybe a bit embarrassed. In the end, they hadn't talked about any of those kisses. He had forgotten about that…

"Exactly! You wouldn't!"

"Haaa? I wouldn't because you wouldn't want me to!"

"Exactly!" Seeing that Shizuo had just started clenching his teeth and getting really angry, Izaya knew that he had to continue quickly. "Listen, I'll only say this once: There have been a lot of things I was forced to do since you came here, but the very last I'm willing to do is to play all friendly and lovey-dovey with you! So if you're not going to be forceful with me, don't you dare to touch me ever again! I'll cut you!" He said, and even drew out of his yukata's sleeve the knife he was always carrying, pointing it right at the blond man.

"What the hell are you saying?" Izaya's way of thinking would always remain a mystery to Shizuo. "That it would be okay for me to force you but not to be nice to you?"

"Yes. Exactly. Exactly that! Now that you understood it, please bury it deep into your mind and never forget it!" Seeing that Shizuo couldn't yet understand him, Izaya offered him his notorious devilish smile. "You see, Shizu-chan, I really hate bad jokes, and acting like you… like me or something is too much of one."

"Who the fuck would like you, you fucking son of a bitch?" Shizuo was already at his limit of letting his rage explode, as he tossed the sheets away from him and stood up as well.

"All I'm saying is that I refuse to play the role of an affection substitute for a depraved monster. It's too derogatory even for all the stuff I'm willing to put up with to survive in here… you know?"

"IZAYA!" Shizuo finally roared and lashed at Izaya, who, despite the knife he was holding, didn't make any moves to swing it. Because he knew very well that if he inflicted even the smallest wound on Shizuo, a bullet in the head would be the only thing waiting for him. So he didn't even resist when Shizuo knocked him on the ground, straddled him and grabbed his neck, leaving him with no way of escaping. The knife had fallen from his hands long ago.

Despite from his definitely disadvantageous position, a part of Izaya relished the view. The view of Shizuo's face contorted in anger, with teeth bared, ready to bite his windpipe off, and brows frowned under a crazed and murderous glare. The look of a wild ferocious animal, of an uncontrolled beast. It was everything he hated and he just gained so much pleasure by seeing it on Shizuo. Shizuo's hand was also trembling around Izaya's neck, showing that he was barely restraining himself from crushing it. Izaya's enjoyment for all of this was showing on his face and Shizuo of course didn't miss it.

"Fine." He finally growled. "Fine you bastard. If that's the way you want it, then…" His hand left Izaya's neck and slid down at Izaya's chest, where his yukata was parting. "…let's do it how you want it!" And with both hands, he grabbed both sides of the fabric and shoved it away, leaving Izaya's chest all open and naked for him to see.

Instinctively, Izaya clenched his eyes shut, gritted his teeth and turned his face away, trembling in the idea of what was about to happen. He braced himself for the unwanted touch… but it didn't come.

He slightly opened his eyes and he saw Shizuo still above him, who was just making an unreadable expression at that moment. Before he could say anything, Shizuo beat him to it. "But you see… I really don't want things to go your way." He said, as he slowly covered Izaya up.

"Shizu-cha-" Izaya slowly raised his upper body until he was seating but whatever was trying to say was cut short when Shizuo cupped his face with both of his hands. Shizuo didn't say anything, he just leaned in.

Izaya was absolutely, completely, through and through purely terrified. Shizuo's face was closing in dangerously and he just couldn't order his body to move or say anything in protest. Izaya could only wish that Shizuo would stop, that he shouldn't get close, that he, of all people, just wouldn't get close…

When Shizuo finally kissed him again, it felt as if he had just delved his hand into Izaya's chest and his fingers had dangerously circled his heart, ready to rip it off. After the first moments, Izaya started to struggle against it. Shizuo did let him go, he backed away a couple of inches, but he looked at Izaya straight in the eye, with a pained expression.

"Am I really… that hideous?" He just asked.

Izaya knew what he was asking. He wanted to answer yes, that he was, and even more, he wanted to hurt him, to trample over all of his feelings, to rip his heart away and leave him an empty shell… but instead, he just kissed him back.

Nothing was hideous about Shizuo. Nothing, no matter how much Izaya wanted to turn him out to be.

From there, it all went downhill. Izaya even slipped his tongue inside Shizuo's mouth and kissed him deeply, because it was Shizuo and because it felt good and because he wanted to make him feel even better. And Shizuo let him do as he pleased, as he was surprisingly gentle with the way he was hugging him, and caressing his back now… And he was gentle when he took control of the kiss and went into Izaya's mouth, not in a very refined way, but… in a very sweet way…

They were interrupted by the alarm of the camp going off and notifying everyone that they needed to assembly for further instructions for the upcoming expedition. They parted slowly, like they had just been awakened from a long dream that seemed too short. Izaya only then realized that he had wrapped his arms around Shizuo's neck, hugging him as they kissed, and that Shizuo had wrapped his around his waist.

"You should go, you'll be late." He finally told Shizuo, who looked even further lost in the dream than he did.

"Oh… yeah…" Shizuo just agreed and nodded numbly, and they finally let reality sink in.

How much it really did have sink in though, they both had a long way ahead of them to comprehend.