Fuck work's so difficult. We're not very busy so I've had time to just sit and think about Emily. I've slept with her twice now. Twice! Jesus I never saw that coming. I can't get the image of her in that skimpy little bikini out of my head. I so wanted to get her going this time but again she took over.

"Naomi, table 3 please." My boss' voice brought me back down to earth pretty suddenly. I work as a waitress in a local bar/restaurant. It's basically a posh pub, serves foreign drink and decent wine you know. I started towards the family at table 3.

Shit.

Rob, Jenna, James and Emily were all busying themselves with the menu's as they took their seats. She hadn't seen me yet, how was I going to keep my head on work if she was here. Already I was mentally undressing her, stripping her of that little skirt and t-shirt.

"Hi." Emily pulled my gaze from her body up to her face. She greeted me confusedly obviously not aware I worked her.

"Naomi! It's been ages love, how are you? How's school? You got a boyfriend yet, a pretty girl like you!" Rob gave me a big hug; he seemed a bit pissed already. Fuck this was so embarrassing, Emily was looking intently at the drinks menu trying not to blush at the "boyfriend" comment. But that couldn't bother her right? We're not together just sex. I'm still not gay. Rob had released me and was looking expectantly at me awaiting a response to his questions.

"Yeh I'm OK thanks. School's been a bit boring recently though, and no boyfriend." I mumbled the last bit hoping he'd have lost interest by then.

"No boyfriend! We'll have to sort that out Emily's got some nice friends haven't you love, what about that Tommy lad? Their great friends I'm sure you could set Naomi up hey?" Rob was now dragging Emily into this mass of awkwardness.

"Um yeh sure." She went bright red and I felt myself doing the same.

"So are you ready to order?" I broke the tense moment. I proceeded to take their drinks orders and hurried away to serve them.

"Where's Katie?" I whispered to Emily as I set down her Malibu and Coke.

"She's ill." Her voice was sagging with sarcasm and I could tell Katie was probably busy with Danny.

..................

The night wore on with Rob and Jenna getting steadily more pissed with each round. Something was definitely wrong, they never drunk this much and we're being really nasty towards one and other. James and Emily sat through the whole thing silently. Rob had made me sit with them too to "catch up," my boss was all for it, the Fitch's were spending a bomb.

"I fancy cocktails!" Rob announced throwing his hands in the air and breaking mine and Emily's whispered conversation. I sighed and stood before realising. Shit, cocktails. We had a specials menu tonight. I could feel my boss watching me and knew I'd just have to say it. Fuck!

"Well we have Bloody Mary, Cosmopolitan, Sunset Island, Margarita," I'd gotten quieter towards the end. "And Sex on the Beach." I felt my cheeks flare red as I gave the last option.

"What was that last one?" Jesus! Did he do this on purpose!?!

I cleared my throat.

"Se... Sex on the Beach." I snatched a glance at Emily. She was blushing dangerously red and was looking anywhere but me.

"Well, I fancy a bit of that! I'll have sex on the beach please!" Rob announced. I inwardly groaned in utter embarrassment and Emily jumped up from her seat equally embarrassed.

"Toilet." She muttered as she pegged it into the bathroom.

I asked at the bar for the cocktail and went outside for a much needed cigarette break.

........................

Inhaling the smoke I finally feel peaceful.

"Hey." I look up and smile, Emily's back to her normal colour.

"Hey, take a seat." I pat the cold step beside me.

"You mind?" She reaches for the cigarette packet in my jeans pocket.

"You don't smoke." I didn't want her to start; she's too good for that.

"I think I deserve it don't you? I almost died back there." I laughed and let her take the packet. As her slender fingers dug into my pocket I shivered a little at their touch. It didn't go unnoticed.

"You ok there Naomi?" Her voice was laced with sarcasm and self satisfaction. She knew I was powerless to her touch. I ignored the comment and continued to smoke. Em lit her fag and inhaled deeply. Fuck that's hot. I'd never seen her smoke fags before. I squirmed a little.

"Sorry about them in there." She glanced over her shoulder into the bar.

"Don't worry 'bout it, I'm used to it" I replied not taking too much notice.

"I just can't stand it anymore!" I looked up suddenly aware she was on her feet with tears forming in her eyes.

"Hey, hey it's OK." Fuck. What do I do? I'm shit in situations like this. I stood up and grabbed her to stop her pacing. I brought her close to me and stroked her hair. She allowed the tears to escape and cried into my body, her body shook with sobs.

"They argue all the time. Mum found out he'd slept with one of his clients. He didn't even try and deny it. They don't know I know. Trying to keep it from us all, going to stay together till we've all left. But they're just so nasty to one and other. I'm sorry, I needed to tell someone. It's all become too much and with me and you I just can't deal with them as well. I'm sorry but I didn't know who else to come to. " Her little voice was muffled but I heard everything. Her crying became more violent. I could tell she'd been holding this in for a long time. But why tell me? We weren't close, just objects of lust. Nothing more. Did she think we were more? Fuck maybe she thinks we're "together"!

"Shhhhh." I said it more to calm myself than her but her crying subsided all the same.

..........................

She'd stopped crying now, quite a while ago actually. We just stood there her wrapped in my jacket. It was getting weird; we'd never embraced like this. Held each other close. It had always been sex then leave. Nothing more.

"I like you, more than I should." No. No way. She did not just say that. Shit. This is too much. Too soon. We've slept together twice and barely spoken in-between. No. No. No. I'm not gay. She can't be asking for a commitment.

"I'm not gay." Fuck, did I say that aloud. Her body tensed in my now loose arms.

"What?" She pulled away and looked at me blatantly pissed off.

"I'm not gay." Fuck Naomi try and sound a bit more apologetic.

"Fucking hell Naomi! Is that all you care about! Don't you see it doesn't matter gay, straight, whatever. Sometimes people just find something special in a person. Who cares what that person is! It's not about the fact you're a girl, it's the fact you're you! Don't you see that?!" She couldn't finish tears were falling thick and fast down her beautiful face. She turned away from me.

"Em, I..." What could I say?

"I just needed you to be there for me... for once." She was breaking down.

"I'm tired Naomi. I can't just be there when you need me to reach the spots you can't get yourself. I feel too. I need something back." I hated how she talked about our sex. It wasn't like that. "The spots I can't reach myself." Is that what she thinks, she's just convenient. What the fuck!

"I tried today but you took over!" I was pissed at her. She wheeled around in rage.

"Fuck off! I need you to come to me for once. To just sit and talk like it used to be not a sneaky shag every couple of weeks. I, I need you, to... love me back." Her eyes widened when she realised what she'd just said. No this was too much! She'd said it. Had she meant she felt that for me? Surely not. Love?

She was looking up at me, expectance in those teary eyes. I knew I'd do it. There was no other way. I looked away from her shook my head and stepped away from her.

Emily turned and walked away. Before long she was running. It hurt, god it hurt, to see her running away from me. I'd hurt her. I hated that, I'd hurt Emily. And now she'd gone. Forever?