Chapter 12: The secret of the kazekage
Gaara trapped Shinki in a coffin of sand after the kid attacked him with all his iron sand fists. They had been practising for a couple of hours before the dinner that Sunday evening.
"You lowered your guard," Gaara said from behind him suddenly.
"You used a sand clone!" Shinki replied trying to escape from the sand coffin.
"You cannot use all your sand to attack your enemy, Shinki. Try always to keep a bit with you".
"I will try to remember it next time, father" The boy sighed. "But you have become so fast with your own sand too. I couldn't even notice when you made the clone".
"It's because I have been training with you".
In that moment Gaara released his son from the coffin and kindly he put his hand in Shinki´s shoulder. The boy smiled to him sincerely.
"By the way, father…" Shinki mentioned before they left the training arena.
"Yes?"
"I was wondering if we are going to go to Hanabi Hyuga´s wedding. It's gonna be in the coming weeks, no?"
"You want to go to a wedding?" Gaara frowned smirking a little.
"Feza-san is coming too. She's a good friend of Hanabi. Sometimes when Hatake Kakashi can't train with her, Hanabi is the one who practices with her. However, besides some few people, she doesn't have many friends".
"And you want to be supportive..."
"I just understand how awkward is to be in social events".
"Alright. We can go to the wedding. I don't think there´s gonna be any problem if we spend one night outside Sunagakure".
Shinki nodded calmly (but feeling successful in the inside) and then he took out from his pocket a lavender envelop. Gaara smile without even noticing and with his sand he held the envelop. Carefully he put it inside his own pocket and both walked towards the dining room.
The kazekage noticed that during the dinner his big brother looked awry at him from time to time. Once again, Shinki told them he had a fun weekend in Konoha with Kaji Feza.
"That's why I couldn't find you!" Kankuro exclaimed after Shinki mentioned they had gone to the water springs.
"Sorry, uncle Kankuro" the boy apologized "Next time I won't forget it".
"You spend a lot of time with her, though" Kankuro kept saying with a subtle intention to provoke a reaction "You are gonna cause any possible admirer to run away from her".
"What?" both Shinki and Gaara said at the same time.
"Well, I'm just saying that you, being such a strong and famous shinobi now after the chunin exams, is obvious you provoke respect and maybe even fear between other shinobi and men of the villages" Kankuro explained calmly but being very perceptive of his brother´s reactions. "I think is natural that if someone sees you with her so often they will be more cautious or just desert of their intentions".
"But that's the intention in a way, isn't it?" Shinki replied quickly. "We want to protect her ".
"Yeah, but the girl has been living all alone for more than twenty years. Perhaps she wants to meet people, have friends, get married… who knows?"
"She's not interested in that". The boy stated.
"That´s what Gaara and I thought about Temari, remember brother?"
"Yes…" Gaara replied thoughtfully.
"And then suddenly we discovered she was in love with Shikamaru!" Kankuro said. He was enjoying seeing Gaara so worried. Somehow he felt better by confirming his suspicions once and for all. "What I´m saying is that you can never know for sure with women, nephew. Feza-san has been living in Konoha now for more than half a year and she has certainly met new people. Besides, she's not bad looking so she doesn't pass unnoticed".
"What do you mean by unnoticed?" The boy frowned.
"Well, I passed in front of the Ramen shop and I heard a couple of guys saying she is pretty".
In that moment, Gaara stood up quickly from his chair.
"Father?"
"I just remembered something I have to do". The kazekage said and apologized before leaving the room.
He walked with a fast pace towards his office and once there he took out from his pocket the letter inside the lavender envelope.
Dear Kazekage-sama
Today, again, I read your letter with a lot of joy. I am writing you back while I also contemplate the quiet starry night from a big balcony in the water Springs. I hope you have the same peaceful view in Sunagakure because it is a view worth sharing.
On other topics, I also wanted to tell you very good news, Kazekage-sama. This week I was finally able to speak to Shukaku. I found him, after hours of meditation, in a dark cave just illuminated by some candles (inside my head). We both missed each other a lot, so it was a very touching moment, you know? He told me he had been feeling lonely and that he really misses having a zip of gin under the moonlight in the middle of the desert. Sincerely, I miss somehow that as well. But, besides all the good memories we remembered, he gave me wise words of support. I cried a bit when he told me I had been doing a great effort so far. But that I still need to become stronger because the most important things are the ones that don't have any shape and those are the ones that really matter. Furthermore, that I should believe in myself, that I am able to do more than what I think.
After this conversation, I meditated deeply about Shukaku´s words. I believe I have become stronger physically. I have learnt how to control my fire jutsu completely and now I´m starting to learn other techniques as well. And yet, I feel I have barely found those important but unshaped things he spoke to me about. No one has ever needed me in the past and I never formed real connections with anyone either. My life has been lonely and I even found a peaceful comfort in that solitude. But I guess it's time to simply let go the past, once and for all.
I´m sure there are better things to come.
Yours respectfully
Kaji Feza
Gaara read the letter again and again. Somehow the last paragraph seemed cryptic. What if Kankuro was right? What if she had found someone in Konoha during this months? He tried to write something back, but ended up wasting a lot of paper and not finding the right words.
The kazekage noticed that he had fallen asleep in his desk when someone knocked at his door late that night.
"Gaara?" Kankuro opened the door slowly. "Are you still here?"
"Yes… uhmm… I was just about to go to my room".
"Are you alright? Shinki and I thought you were gonna come back to the dining hall".
Gaara didn´t reply to his brother´s question and remained quiet looking thoughtful. Kankuro knew he wasn´t good with lies and he immediately noticed his look turned sad. Furthermore, the big brother saw all the paper piled up in the trash can and a lavender envelope next to a letter on top of the desk.
"Did you receive an important letter?" Kankuro asked.
"It´s from Feza-san. Shinki brought it to me".
"Is she alright?"
"Yes. She is".
"Is this the first time she writes you?"
Gaara stared at Kankuro´s eyes steadily. His face turned red and his lips trembled.
"Why are you asking me so many questions?!" the kazekage exclaimed feeling embarrassed.
"Hey, calm down, little brother! I am just asking you for what I am seeing right now. You have been acting weird since some weeks ago. I just want to know why and if I can help you somehow!" Kankuro explained.
"I am fine. I just need to rest. That´s all".
"If you say so…"
Gaara took discretely the letter and put it inside his pocket. Then, he left the office quickly. Before Kankuro left too he made sure that anyone was around and he took a couple of the papers from the trash can. He read their content.
Dear, Feza-san
I am very glad to know you have been doing well….
He looked at another one.
Dear, Feza-san
Hello. I´m so glad you have finally spoken with Shukaku...
Again and again, his brother said the same in different ways. Until finally…
...Besides all the good news, there is something important I would like to talk to you about as well. Shinki told me you are planning on going to the wedding of Hanabi Huyga. Would you like to go with me? We will probably meet there then. It´s been a long time since we met the last time. I hope we can share a word if possible.
I just can´t stop thinking about you.
Kankuro´s jaw dropped. It all was true.