Supplementary disclaimer: We also do not own the other thing that is in this chapter but we won't tell you what it is. How's that for legal talk? Additionally, we do not own our muse. We just kidnapped her for a while. That's starting to become a habit... Weebee, put the dog back!
Weebee: Awww...
Chapter 12: Yomi is a masochist.
"I can't believe you got me to buy all of this stuff," Ranma grumbled, as she walked under a massive pile of bags. Sakaki was almost as heavily laden, but since she was significantly taller, she didn't look nearly as odd. "My bank account's crying; I can feel it."
"Aw, Ranma-chan, Sakaki did need a new wardrobe," Nodoka interjected.
"Yeah, and these small size dresses'll fit her great," the redhead returned. "Whenever Ryoga gets back, I'll be back to normal, you know."
"Yes, but that may be a long time from now, and you really should have some proper clothing to wear, young lady." Nodoka said, sternly.
Ranma just sighed. She didn't know why she was still arguing. After all, she'd already bought the stuff, but it was irritating to have her mother treat her like a kid, especially since she'd never been through it the first time. "Well, at least I'm not stuck paying for all that stuff that classmate of yours bought," she muttered, looking over to Sakaki.
The older girl nodded, having seen fit to stay out of the conversation up to this point. "Tomo-san was pretty persistent," she agreed.
"Yeah, I'm kind of surprised that that girl's Nabiki's kid," Ranma shook her head as the three approached their house. As they came closer, they saw that there was a large, black and white panda sitting casually on the front step. "Pop?" Ranma asked, surprised.
"Hey there, Boy," the animal replied, by way of a hastily scribbled sign. "You're truly a little girl now, I see." It then rolled forward and onto its side, pretending to clutch at its heart with one hand, while producing another sign with its other. "Oh, how you shame your father so!"
"Button it, Ol' Man," the redhead said, dumping the bags out on the ground, though doing so very carefully so as not to dirty their contents. "I can still kick your lazy ass."
"You think so, eh?" the panda signed, and its muzzle seemed to twist impossibly into a challenging sneer.
"Yup," Ranma grinned.
Nodoka let off a tired sigh. "Come on, Sakaki-chan, let's get these things inside and let the children play." Sakaki only nodded, scooping her mother's load up on top of her own, and following her grandmother into the house as the sounds of combat could be heard on the street outside.
HR.
"All right, Dad, why are you here?" Ranma asked, as she sat across from her parents, Sakaki next to her, at the dinner table. Her mother had helped cook the meal tonight, so unlike the normal large helpings of plainer dishes, there was a banquet laid out in front of them all.
"I came to get your mother, of course, Boy," Genma rumbled, in his base tone, before his chopsticks flickered across the table to meet Sakaki's in a click of wood. "I can't believe you taught her that," the old man continued, withdrawing his chopsticks again and going to Ranma's plate, the young girl also repelling his attack with ease.
She shrugged. "It may have been annoying, but it was still good speed training. As for you picking up Mom, let me guess, you're out of instant meals?"
"How could you think of that, Boy? I love and miss your mother, and she's been gone for three days!" Genma said, loudly. "Besides, I'd never buy those instant meals, they're a waste of money."
From where she was sitting next to her husband, Nodoka blushed at his compliments, even though she knew that they were an attempt to make himself sound better. After all, she knew that he did mean them, he just liked to pull them out in defense of other things. "Genma, husband," she started, a little worried about what he would think of her next statement. "Since Ranma-chan isn't legally able to take care of Sakaki-chan for a while, I'm going to move in here to help them out."
"Huh?" Genma asked, and abruptly went pale. "But that means I'll have to live with my campfire cooking... I mean, but I'll miss you!"
Ranma shrugged. "News to me, too."
"Well then, I'll stay here with my wife," the older man decided, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Did you forget about your students, or are you going to train them in the middle of Tokyo?" Nodoka asked, looking at her husband oddly.
"Oh, right... them," Genma moaned.
"Hey, don't be so sad, Ol' Man," Ranma said, a wicked grin coming across her face, "you could always go to the Tendo place for meals."
The fat man's face went about as pale as his cursed form's fur, and he shook his head rapidly. "No, that won't be necessary!" he yelped, before standing up. "I... I should probably get home, to prepare the training schedule for this week, that's it!" he said, making his escape before Ranma could phone Akane up to ask her if he could stay at the Dojo.
"That wasn't very nice," Sakaki observed, watching as her grandfather quickly made his way from the building.
"Nope," Ranma smirked, "it wasn't, was it?"
HR.
"Damn it," Ryoga cursed as yet another high caliber bullet whizzed past his face, impacting a metallic bulkhead beside him. "Why does this keep happening to me?"
Turning down a random corridor, and uncaring that he was leaving dents in the flooring as he ran at full speed, the Lost Boy did his best to discover a way out of the death trap that he was currently stuck in. "Every few weeks, I swear..." he grumbled to himself, gulping and slowing to a stop as he saw a fully manned machine gun nest ahead. His eyes flicked around the corridor for a moment, before he saw an open door, which he promptly dove through and slammed shut.
"I hope Ranma realizes what I'm going through for him," he muttered as he felt something bounce off of his shoulder, turning to see someone pointing a small handgun at him. Growling, he stomped up to him, grabbed the weapon and crushed it. "Excuse me, but could you tell me where the exit is?" he asked, trying to be as polite as possible.
The person he was interrogating was no help at all, as he just started babbling something about a 'suppa-man.' Sighing, Ryoga decided that he'd have to resort to the final option. As the door behind him slid open and several well armed men rushed into the room, he used the breaking point on the far wall, starting out of the complex in a straight line.
He paid no attention to the pile of strange looking, rune engraved metallic fragments he passed on the way out, nor the giant saucer shaped aircraft in one of the base's many hangers, though the staff were most vexed when he shattered one of the ships' support pylons on his way past.
As he finally broke through the last wall of metal, ducking one more, halfheartedly aimed M-16 bullet, Ryoga stumbled on the edge of the base's exit hatch, falling forward, face first into a large patch of mushrooms. "Funny, I thought I was in a desert..." he muttered, though as he looked down into the pile of fungus, he blinked. "Are these..." he breathed, reaching out to pick one and examine it. The coloration was unmistakable, and even the scent was the same as last time he'd found them. "I've got them!" he yelled, happily.
Scooping one of the mushrooms up, he shouted again, "I've got them!" Wasting no further time, he dumped several of them into a sealed pocket on his belt, ensuring that most were large enough for Ranma's needs. "Okay, now all I've got to do is get back to Tokyo," he said, standing, and suddenly feeling intensely cold, as the icy winds of the tundra blew across his skin.
"Damn it!"
HR.
As the girls were changing for swimming, Tomo was, for one reason or another, checking out the students around her. Looking over Sakaki, who had yet to switch forms, let alone put her suit on, she made some quick mental calculations. "Oh, man, can you believe it?" she griped. "Even if Sakaki eats twice as much as I do, all of the calories go to her boobs and her height. Mine just go to my stomach. How unfair is that?"
"I don't eat that much, do I?" Sakaki asked self consciously. "I never eat all that much at home," she added, slightly defensively.
"No offense, Sakaki, but I've seen you eat," Yomi said. "You eat as much as Tomo, Osaka, and I combined."
"But I only eat half of what my mother does," the taller girl protested. "That's not really all that much... right?"
"I weighed your bento the other day," Yomi deadpanned. "It weighed one and a half kilos."
Jumping forward, Tomo demanded, "How do you do it? Where does it all go?" Bouncing around the older girl, she began poking her, as though looking for a secret compartment on Sakaki's person. Some of those pokes were of a rather questionable nature. "Come on, tell me! Tell me. Tell me. Come on!"
"Please stop that," Sakaki said politely as she caught one of Tomo's fingers mere centimeters from her breast. "I do a lot of training," she explained. "It burns a lot of energy, so I need to eat a lot." She calmly splashed herself with cold water and began to change in to her swimsuit.
"Sakaki trains? So cool!" Kaorin squealed in fangirlish glee.
"Wow, that sounds great," Tomo exclaimed. "Do you think I could do it?"
"No, not at all," Sakaki replied with very little inflection. "It requires dedication."
"Yeah, you're right," the hyperactive girl agreed. "That sounds a whole lot more like Yomi, doesn't it?
"Training burns a lot of calories, doesn't it?" Yomi mused aloud. "It'd be like a diet, just while making me stronger?"
"I guess that might be one way of putting it," Sakaki replied.
"Ranma trained you, right?" Yomi eagerly asked. "Do you think she could train me?"
"Don't ask Mom," Sakaki said with some concern. "She is rather... harsh when she's not teaching a formal class."
"Then who would you suggest?" the taller girl asked.
After a moment of thought, the redhead said, "Aunt Akane could probably help."
"Alright, girls," Nyamo called. "It's time to head to the pool."
As the girls began to file out of the locker room, Sakaki stopped Yomi for a second. "If you want, I can ask her for you," she offered.
Yomi nodded in thanks, but was stopped from any further response by Nyamo's shout of "Come on, hurry up, girls!"
HR.
As Yomi approached the entrance to the dojo, she heard a loud, rather ominous in her opinion, crashing noise from inside. Looking backwards to the front entrance, where she'd read the note, 'out training,' the brown haired girl gulped nervously, but soldiered on none the less. She knew what Sakaki had said, and thoughts of cutting down her dieting regime danced through her head. Moving forward slowly, she knocked on the paper entrance door. For a moment, nothing happened, then she heard rapid thumping and the door was pulled open.
"Yes?" a rather disheveled blue-black haired woman asked, as she stood there in a white training outfit.
Yomi blinked at her. This had not been what she was expecting when she'd heard about Sakaki's aunt. If they were genetically related, it had to be pretty far down the line, as the woman in front of her, while pretty tall, also seemed almost stocky, athletically muscled but rather plain, even when red faced and covered in sweat. "Um," she said, uncertainly. "Sakaki-san told me that you could help me train in the martial arts."
The older woman's face lit up in a broad smile. "You're one of Sakaki-chan's friends?" she asked, and upon Yomi's nod, she stood back and bowed. "I'm Akane Tendo, Master of the Tendo School of Indiscriminate Grappling. Glad to meet you."
"Indiscriminate Grappling?" Yomi asked, the trepidation audible in her tone.
Akane nodded. "Yes, the school believes that anything can be turned into training, and any competition can be enhanced through the martial arts."
For a moment, Yomi had things run through her mind such as martial arts ice skating, and martial arts tea ceremony, but shook her head to dispel the strange thoughts. "That sounds interesting," she conceded.
"Come on in, and I'll explain more," Akane said, stepping back to let Yomi step into the large room. The brown haired girl looked around it for a few moments, slightly awed by all of the old scrolls and equipment that was lined up along the walls. The walls themselves were also interesting, as it seemed that no two sections were of the same shade of brown and white, or general composition for that matter, forming a mosaic that was rather soothing to look at. The current centerpiece of the room was a large, bent I-beam.
She moved up to the metal, running a hand over it and noting several long dents across its length. "Yeah," Akane said, sounding sheepish. "I haven't been able to break that in half, yet."
"B... break it in half?" Yomi stuttered, looking back at the older woman in surprise.
Akane nodded. "Ranma thinks it's pointless, given I can split reinforced concrete, but he's always favored speed training over strength, the jerk."
"He..." Yomi said, then shook her head. "Um, about teaching martial arts?" she asked, wanting to get back on track.
"Oh, right," Akane said, and then shrugged. "Tell me, why do you want to learn the art?"
"Well, I wanted to be able to lose weight while still eating all of the stuff I like to eat," the girl with the glasses explained, the idea sounding a lot more stupid now that she thought about it more clearly, and then looked away.
Akane studied her for a moment, and frowned. The girl had some fat on her, but not very much, and it would be burned off pretty fast. "You want to lose weight?" she asked, "how much? You only look a few pounds over average."
"A few pounds over?" Yomi asked, her face going pale. "But I've been dieting constantly, how could this happen!"
"Hey, hey, calm down!" Akane said, a little startled by the young girl's outburst. This, of course, was because she'd always been overly-muscular, rather than anything else, and the only girls who hung around with her on a regular basis really didn't care much about their appearance. "It's perfectly natural, besides, you do know that practicing the martial arts long term will probably make you heavier, right?"
"H... heavier? How?" Yomi asked, looking over the instructor again. Akane was lean, well-muscled and didn't show an ounce of fat on her body. She was even, as Osaka would say, very Japanese.
Akane nodded. "Yeah," she said. "You'll burn off any fat you've got in a few weeks, if you train intensely enough, but your body will demand more nutrients, so you'll eat more, and your muscles will become denser."
"Wait, but I'll lose the fat, right?" Yomi interjected.
"...yes..." Akane said, slowly.
For a moment, a fantasy ran through the brown haired girl's head, as she envisioned the ability to scarf down as many cream puffs as she wanted without worry, and even more. To eat like Sakaki, or even better, Ranma, without having to worry about it? "Where do I sign up for your most intense program?" she asked, her eyes flying open from their fantasy dream in time to see Akane moving towards her, looking worried.
"Um, that may not be such a good," Akane tried, but was cut off.
"I'm doing it!" Yomi exclaimed, raising one hand in a victory sign and showing, for just a moment, why she and Tomo hung around each other.
The instructor looked at the posing girl dubiously. "If you're sure..." she said, and then quirked an eyebrow. "You do know the Dojo's rates, right?"
"Oh, right, money..." Yomi said, wondering if her parents would give her some, if they learned that she was bettering herself.
Seeing the expression on the girl's face droop, Akane sighed. "Look, I don't think you realize what you're signing yourself up for, and since you're Sakaki-chan's friend, how about I let you have a week's lessons free?"
"Really?" Yomi asked, excited. "Thank you!"
"Don't thank me yet," Akane muttered, looking at the younger girl dubiously.
HR.
The girls were all gathered around a low table, textbooks and notes scattered over every available flat surface. This included Osaka, who had fallen asleep some time ago. With exams looming, it had been decided that the group would get together and study. As it had been Tomo's idea to go to Chiyo's house, there may have been alternate motives involved. Still, everyone had agreed, except Kagura, who declined to vote on the grounds of being new to the group. Thus, the five girls were centered around the table, asking Chiyo for homework help in turns.
They would also be asking Ranma, but the twelve-year-old had been called out of the room by Nabiki some time ago. As the only remaining student with excellent grades and not considered intimidating, Yomi was press-ganged into service, fielding a number of the questions. Luckily, the number of questions quickly declined once Osaka decided a nap would be a fine idea.
Kagura was asking fewer questions than Tomo had been, before the hyperactive girl had started bouncing around instead of studying, because she was doing problems from the book and only asking for help when she couldn't muscle through on her own. She was planning on having Ranma look them over once she was done, to see if she had gotten the answers right. Having a college graduate as a friend and tutor definitely had its advantages.
"Alright, everyone, I brought some juice and cake," Chiyo called as she pushed open the door to her room with a foot, having left only a few minutes prior. "Feel free to dig in," she said, setting a large platter down in the middle of the table.
"Food is good," Yomi decided, grabbing a large piece of cake and a cup of juice. "Tendo-sensei is really pushing me."
Sakaki took a piece for herself and replied, "I find Aunt Akane's training routines to be a bit much, but, then again, I'm not a martial artist."
"But you said Ranma trained you," Yomi protested. "And we know she's a good fighter!"
"Like when she refereed that fight," Tomo added. "You know, that one with a duck."
"Mom only taught me the essentials," Sakaki insisted. "I never really cared for fighting."
"So, what are the 'essentials?'" Kagura eagerly asked. If she ever decided she wanted to get into any serious cross-training, she needed to know what she could be in for.
Sakaki paused for a moment to think before answering, "Just the basics. You know, how to set up a proper tent, how to roof hop, some basic defense techniques, and flower arranging and tea ceremony when I asked."
Chiyo cocked her head in thought and asked, "What do flower arranging and tea ceremony have to do with martial arts."
Sakaki just smiled enigmatically, and somewhere, some when, a green haired woman's shtick was stolen.
HR.
"All right, Saotome," Nabiki said, looking levelly at the twelve year old before her, as the two sat on opposite sides of the desk in her study, Ranma having brewed tea for the two of them.
"Um, it's Kuonji, remember?" the redhead tried, but Nabiki just shrugged.
"It always has been, and always will be Saotome, Saotome," the former middle Tendo returned, with a smirk. "Now, as cliche as this may sound, what are your intentions towards my daughter?"
"Wha...?" Ranma asked, gaping.
"Well, the Tendo-Saotome engagement is still valid, for however many generations down the line, and you're about the right age," Nabiki returned.
"That isn't even funny," Ranma ground out.
"From over here it is," Nabiki snickered. "No, I didn't mean it like that, Saotome, I wanted to know if you plan on dragging her into the insane train-wreck that is your life."
Ranma's eyebrow twitched. "Gee, thanks for that apt description," she drawled. "Nabiki, I only came over here because Chiyo-chan asked for some help tutoring her friends." Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "Okay, she was too polite to really ask for it, but you get what I mean. I don't want to drag her into anything, but she is Sakaki-chan's friend."
"Right," the brown haired woman replied, looking over the child in front of her and shaking her head. "You do realize, of course, that as long as you're around my daughter, I'm going to take anything that happens to her out of your hide, right?"
"But I wouldn't..." Ranma started.
"I know," Nabiki nodded, and the redhead sighed, getting the message. She was now, apparently, an unpaid bodyguard.
"You coulda just asked rather than starting the old gangster movie routine," the martial artist grumbled. "Yes, I'll protect Chiyo if anything happens, and it's stupid of you to even ask."
Nabiki shrugged. "Maybe, but it's what I do," she responded, before smirking evilly. "Hey, do you mind if I take some pictures?"
Ranma blinked. "Nabiki, I'm twelve," she drawled, irritably.
"No, not for that!" the former Tendo reassured, almost looking offended. "I don't have any of you as a kid to use for reference in my manga."
Ranma frowned darkly. "Oh, that."
"Hey, it's really popular!" Nabiki justified, "I'm making a killing off of it!"
"You revealed Ryoga's curse, round about, in the last issue," the younger girl stated, "and did you have to show that dream sequence? I thought you swore you'd never tell anyone about that."
"I didn't, I drew it!" Nabiki tried to justify, but she looked distinctly guilty.
"Plus, half of your fighting scenes are drawn wrong," Ranma continued, now on a roll. "If even I tried that move Ryu used against Kano in Chapter 3, I think I'd break my spine."
"But I've seen you bent worse than that before," Nabiki objected.
"Yes, when I'd broken my spine!" Ranma shot back.
"Fine," Nabiki pouted. "You technically don't have a leg to stand on, since you'd have to prove all of this stuff really happened in court, but I really don't want to fight that much about it." Rummaging around in her desk, she produced a pad of paper. "I'm guessing, since Akane told me that you're not working at the Dojo anymore, you aren't pulling in any money, right?"
Ranma scowled. "What does this have to do with anything?"
"Look, Saotome, I'm not trying to extort anything from you. Ryu One Half is just a very popular series, and I..." she looked down. "I will pull it if you are really serious about not having it out, but I can also hire you on as a consultant, and you can help me get the fighting scenes right, and maybe recall some of the events I wasn't there for."
Ranma blinked. "Are you offering me a job?" she asked, slowly.
Nabiki nodded. "Now remember, I still have to write everything, and you'd have to promise to be completely honest, on your honor as a martial artist, but at least it would all be told accurately."
"I don't..." Ranma started, so the former Tendo went for her weak spot.
"Come on, even if no one knows it was you, wouldn't you like everyone to know about all of the fights you won?" she asked, going directly for the ego.
"Well, um," the little redhead said, scratching the back of her neck. That was about the time Nabiki knew she had her. Though Ranma's ego had definitely been settled down a few pegs since Nerima, the lack of glorious, life or death fights in the past few years had starved the martial artist of glory. "I guess it won't really hurt," she agreed, but winced as she recalled some of the more embarrassing things that had happened.
"Great!" Nabiki said, with a beatific smile that usually graced Kasumi's face. "Thanks a lot, Ranma."
The martial artist just shrugged. "I know you're going to want to write up a contract for this, or something, so I'd better get back to the kids. Tomo's probably strangling Chiyo for answers by now... or Yomi's strangling Tomo, either way it's not good."
Nabiki shrugged. The others wouldn't do anything that would really hurt her daughter, and she was sort of hoping that Chiyo would eventually snap and start being a little more assertive. "Have fun with your school friends, Ranma-chan," she said, with a shark-like grin.
Ranma just looked back at her dubiously before standing from her chair and heading for the door.
END.
Weebee: I know we needed a muse, but did you have to choose her?
Osaka: What, ah think she's kinda cool.
Jonakhensu: What's the worst that could happen? Heh heh heh.
Agatha: And now, we shall march on the world with our mass produced army of Osmorgified Pancake Powered Chiyo-chan Clanks!
Weebee: You were saying?
Chiyo: Let me down! ... please?
Jonakhensu: Like I said, what's the worst that could happen?