Chapter 11: Any Idea
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own "The Outsiders" or any of the Curtis' Gang. Sigh. The real owner of "The Outsiders" is my favorite author, the fabulous S.E. Hinton. I also do not make a profit from the stories that I write here on this site.
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She feels weak constantly. People hover over her and every sharp object is under lock and key. She feels trapped and suffocated. She can't cut, she can't skip meals, and she can't purge the food she's forced to eat. She stares at the pills. She swallows them dry, one-by-one. She loses count on how many she takes.
Chrissy's POV
I opened up the rickety screen door to the Curtis's house and walked inside. Steve wrapped his arms around me as I sat down. I pushed away slightly and sneezed twice into my elbow.
Pony, who was sitting on the floor just below me, reached up and put his hand on my clammy forehead.
"Golly, Chrissy, you sure are burning up," he commented worriedly as Steve absentmindedly played with a strand of my hair.
"I'm fine," I assured them, but my hoarse voice and pale skin probably gave me away.
Steve got up and turned to me, planting a light kiss on my forehead. I tried not to stiffen at the familiar gesture.
"I gotta go to work, babe. See you later," he said as he left towards the DX. Two-Bit grinned cheekily.
"I shall call you guys Stissy and you shall have many kids!" Two-Bit shouted as if he had discovered the cure for cancer. I rolled my eyes as Pony threw a pillow at Two-Bit.
"Can it, Two," Pony griped.
"Maybe Cheve then," Two-Bit said thoughtfully.
"It sounds like a seasoning," I commented.
"Whatever. But seriously, Chrissy, you look sick," Pony said. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes again; my head was already pounding enough as it is.
"I'm going for a walk," I announced.
My stomach churned as I walked. I tried to focus on my walking, but each step I took paralleled to the pounding in my head.
I didn't notice how far I walked until I saw the DX. Steve was learning against the wall, smoking, and Evie was next to him with her head on his shoulder. Tears blurred my vision. No.
Where I was walking didn't register, everything around me was a swirling blob. The only thing on my mind was Evelyn Scott.
I somehow got to my house; at least I'm pretty sure it was my house. I went into the bathroom and shakily opened up the container of pills. I swallowed them dry and as fast as I could.
Everything began falling into place once I took the pills. My fate was sealed, but I had one more thing to do. With shaking hands, I wrote,
Dear Curtis' Gang,
There's no easy way to explain all of this, but you deserve an explanation. I am so sorry. I can't handle it, I can't live with the flashbacks of Bob, my ex-boyfriend with his arms around me, and I can't live with everyone smothering me. I can't be in a relationship where I can't allow Steve to touch me, to hold me; it's all too familiar. I simply am not strong enough to live.
Tell Steve that I love him. Tell Pony that he was my first true friend who saw something besides my past and present scars. Tell Claire, 'I love you, mom', include 'mom', I've never called her that before. It was easier to say dad because replacing my real dad was easy, but mom was harder because my mother was a good person, Claire is too and tell her that. I can never thank her enough.
I thought I was getting better until Evie happened. You saw my scars and I couldn't take it. That's when Steve said he loved me and I felt better again. Then I saw him and Evie at the DX. Tell him that I may have only been a rebound relationship for him, but it was always real for me. I forgive you, Steve; I don't want to die hating you.
Most of all; please don't be angry with me. I love you all and I'm sorry.
Love always,
Christine Anne Brown
A/N: Was this any good? Believable? Thank you to BunnyLuvsU for the Cheve and Stissy! :)