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A downpour of autumnal rain sheathed itself over the city, slicking the already fallen leaves with a new sheet of moisture. Colors seemed to fade away in the cool mist, shading the buildings and streets in hues of black, white, and gray. Gusts of wind sent a flurry of raindrops and leaves soaring through the crowd, winding in between the bodies of those waiting for the ferry. A dissatisfied grumble pulsed through them, lamenting the weather and willing the boat to travel just a bit faster.
Looking up, Chelsea took in the sky above her, gray and colorless to match the rest of the city. Silver snippets of clouds spackled the sky like a pelt, disrupting the uniformity. Drops pelted her face with a surprising gentleness, catching on her eyelashes and hair. Above her, leaves seem to pirouette to a song she couldn't hear, twirling around her head spryly. Before she knew it, a couple had caught in her hair, tangled amongst the coppery strands. She almost smiled.
It was the day. Fall 3rd had arrived, and brought with it such strong feelings of ambivalence that Chelsea had begun to question herself once more on whether or not this decision would be the right one. Chills diffused down her spine; she supposed it was more than just the damp, cold weather that caused them.
Of course she had to do this. She wanted to do this, Chelsea knew, deep down within. Hadn't she told Felicia that she was interested in a life of farming? Why would she have answered that way, if it wasn't true? This was the chance of a lifetime. How had Felicia described the island…
"Out here, it's almost as though you're separated from the rest of the world's troubles. You don't get so heartsick."
Something tugged at her heartstrings palpably; she tried to swallow the lump that had risen so suddenly in her throat, without success.
This was her chance to make something of her life. Her chance to pursuit those feelings of satisfaction, of happiness and content just as her own family had. Stuck in this city, she was nothing. She hadn't accomplished much of anything, made much of an impact on anyone. It was her chance to entirely extinguish that feeling that something was missing.
Moreover, there was very little left for Chelsea here. No anchors to keep her rooted in the city. No longer a job, or an income. She had no family here. Nothing to hold her here, except for…
Tears prickled at the corners of Chelsea's eyes as she tried to squelch his name from her thoughts, albeit unsuccessfully. The steady grip she had once had on her emotions was far gone; nothing was left to protect them from the elements of hurt that seemed to surround her so often lately.
All of the doubt and misgivings she had been suffering through since that one simple phone call rooted back to Vaughn. It was as if he was really standing behind her, whispering questions she didn't have the answers to.
Why hadn't she told him? Why did she feel the need to go? Why couldn't he make her happy?
As it was, she could only truly answer one of those questions. She couldn't bring herself to tell him. Crippling fear and a staggering amount of guilt seized her each time the opportunity seemed to arise; she saw him, time after time, pass through their park, yet didn't do a thing but close the blinds of her windows. She unplugged her phone after he called, rather than to answer it. A brief wave of self-disgust washed over her; and here, she liked to think of herself as a brave and honest person.
Ultimately, it was his reaction she was afraid of. Despite the incident that had passed between them the last time they were together, Chelsea couldn't find it in her to fear his anger. Moreover, she feared seeing the shock, hurt, and the eventual pity pass through his eyes, so quickly a stranger would miss it were they not familiar with his tendencies.
Then again, another small part of her believed he wouldn't care at all. Indifference and apathy were just as frightening a possibility. Perhaps he was telling the truth, when he said he didn't want her there. What if the words, spit in contempt, were true? Perhaps he wouldn't care at all, if she left. She would be leaving him alone, after all, wouldn't she? Just as he wanted, right?
The more she thought about it, the more the possibility scared her. And the more it seemed likely, as well.
Sniffing determinedly, Chelsea dabbed at her eyes subtly, hoping no one was paying any close inspection to her. She felt ridiculous and embarrassed by her reactions. Fortunately, all eyes were turned towards the sea, reflected gray by the sky with its choppy waves and salty air.
The ferry could be seen in the distance, a small shadow in the cloudy horizon. Politely, she asked a man next to her for the time. Seven forty-seven. Thirteen minutes. Thirteen minutes before she would leave this place behind.
Absently, a memory surfaced from the depths of her consciousness, floating thoughtfully across her mind's eye. A conversation, spoken out of the blue, between herself and... Questions of longing curiosity; have you ever wanted to leave this city behind? See what else is out there to offer?
He had disagreed; a jaded, knowing expression had passed through his sharp features. Had disagreed that, however tempting the idea seemed, the grass was greener on the other side of the fence. He hadn't understood her desire to leave the city behind, to find that bigger, better place out there just waiting to be found. She recalled his expression, confused, at her speech of wanting to find the whole other world out there that she wasn't aware of yet.
A body bumped her from behind, interrupting Chelsea's recollection mid-memory. People began moving all around, hustling her amongst them. They began edging forward, farther into the dock where they would board the ferry on its arrival. Feeling significantly like a herded sheep, Chelsea noticed that more people had showed up to wait for boarding.
The minutes passed by more quickly than ever, then, as Chelsea lost herself to her thoughts once more. She watched absently as the ferry drew gradually closer to the dock, the vast gray shape seeming to grow right before her eyes.
She barely noticed anymore that she was thoroughly soaked through; unlike a great deal of the other residents, she hadn't thought to have brought her umbrella. Looking down at her feet, she was glad to have invested in buying an animal crate for this trip; Levitt slept soundly away inside, warm and dry. The only bag she carried with her, an over-the-shoulder purse, didn't share the same fate. Thankfully, she had packed only bare essentials; a few pairs of clothes at the top, which protected the more important items, like money and ID, at the bottom.
What seemed like only a matter of minutes later, the ferry arrived at the dock for boarding. Chelsea inferred by the pleased reactions of those around her that it must have been a few minutes early. She watched as a man walked down from the boat, and onto the dock before the waiting passengers.
"Orderly lines, everyone! Orderly lines! Please have any means of identification ready at your turn! We embark in ten minutes!"
A strange tremor made its way across Chelsea's body. Ten minutes.
The number of passengers before her quickly diminished, until she was the front of the line herself. A ferry official stood before her, serious and focused. Digging through her bag, Chelsea pulled out her identification and the one-way trip ticket she had received in the mail the first day of autumn.
"Chelsea Lambent, age twenty-four, date of birth Spring 20th?"
"Yes, sir."
The man nodded, and scanned through the rest of her credentials quickly. Handing them back to her, he smiled slightly.
"Everything looks to be in order, Miss Lambent. You're qualified to board the ferry. We should be reaching the Sunshine Islands in approximately four hours-"
The man broke off, staring off into the distance somewhere behind her with narrowed eyes. He made a low tsking noise, and shook his head slightly.
"People these days," he muttered, a hint of disdain in his tone. "Perhaps we should get security…"
It was then that Chelsea noticed the yelling over the general chatter of those waiting to board. A deep, hoarse voice, demanding to be let through the crowd, just for a few minutes.
Her heart seemed to freeze in her chest, her breath trapped in her throat, as she recognized the voice, only as one would had spent day after day listening to it, often wishing it was there when she was alone, could.
"CHELSEA! Chelsea, don't do this!"
Don't turn around. Don't turn around. If she turned around now, it would ruin everything.
"CHELSEA!"
Gravity was shifting all around her; Chelsea swayed on her feet, feeling strangely light as though she were made of arm. Rough hands grabbed her shoulders, steadying him firmly.
"Ma'am…? Are you alright?"
Fight or flight? Fight or flight? The phrase kept repeating her head relentlessly, over and over again without pause. It had to be flight, right? Her heart was pounding away, and she could feel it in her ears. Sweat dewed at her temples, and a shaky sensation accompanied it.
Chelsea looked up at the man; she wondered if he could see the agony displayed across her features, or if it was unintelligible in the mess of her emotions. His countenance became one of confusion and concern.
If she concentrated, she could still make out the yelling in the background.
"The man who's yelling back there-"
"Is he traveling with you?" the official asked, raising his eyebrows dubiously.
"No. No, but please…I need to talk to him, Please, just let me through. It won't take long, I'll be back before the ferry-"
"I'm sorry, ma'am, but I can't let you do that. We're going to be departing in less than ten minutes."
"Please, sir! It won't take more than a few minutes, please!"
She was nearly screaming herself, now. Whether it was because of the urgency in her tone, or simply because of exasperation, the man sighed. Waving her on, he nodded curtly.
"Go. Be back before the ferry leaves. We won't hesitate to leave you behind."
"Thank you," Chelsea managed, before taking off through the remainder of the crowd. Pushing and sliding between bodies, she was met with several grunts of disapproval and sneering slights. His voice grew louder with each step she took.
This was a mistake. She knew so. Once she saw him there, standing and yelling her name, could she find it in herself to go back to that ferry? What happened to not saying goodbye, what happened to the clean cut she had planned on?
How had her feelings changed so quickly, in the course of mere minutes? Would she regret going back to meet him, to talk to him one last time? Will she have wished she had ignored the calls of her name, and boarded the ship without looking back? Would that have been the smart choice, the least painful way of leaving?
Would she have been happy with not knowing?
The rain had picked up again, slicing Chelsea's face with freezing cuts. The wind blew sopping strands around her face, but she was beyond caring.
"CHELSEA!"
He had seen her; she could tell in the change of tone. She could hear the urgency pressing in, the desperation, so different from the usual stoic, serious inflection that colored his words. People were staring at him, giving looks of hostility and annoyance. People were muttering about cutting in line, and unnecessary disruption. A man had taken out his phone and was talking on it, staring daggers at him
What had happened to them both? Were they even the same people?
They were across from each other then, less than three feet away, equally drenched and dripping. Rain ran down Chelsea's face, dripping into her eyes and blurring the world around her. Without warning, Vaughn lunged forward, reaching up to take hold of her arms firmly. He pulled her even closer to him so they were nearly chest to chest, and stared down at her with stone-cold eyes.
Before either of them could say anything at all, his hands had captured her jaw, leading her face to his. Their lips brushed together softly at first, but were soon pressed together with an overwhelming force, melding together as though they were not two, but one. His thumbs, pressing into her jaw, had lost the rough tension that had possessed them before; they were nothing but gentle now.
It was as thought everything that had happened between them in the past few days was temporarily forgotten. It was just him, and her, and no one else.
There was no fire in this embrace, not like the other kisses they had shared in the past. The fire that would blaze between their bodies, as though actual flames had ignited a wildfire in the space between them, wasn't present. It was different. Something deeper, more fathomless and gradual than the typical fire had replaced it. Something far within the core of them both, where the heat couldn't quite be felt, but was nonetheless changed beyond their control. As though they themselves had been taken and made anew by the advance, never to be the same again.
And so, it was as they separated, that Chelsea fell apart once more. Crumpling forward, she would have fallen to her knees were Vaughn unable to catch her by the arms in time. A fierce trembling had taken her over, and a loud, desperate sob broke free from her chest.
How could she go back now? How could she turn back to the ferry and board now, after that? A spark of anger at Vaughn surfaced; how could he have done that, changed her so irreversibly?
"Chelsea, don't," he murmured gruffly. "Don't do this."
Unable to speak aloud, she simply shook her head back and forth slowly. The hands holding her up suddenly grew determined, and wrenched her up further so that their eyes were forced to meet.
"What are you thinking?"
"I don't know," Chelsea managed to get out, the words sounding breathless and pitchy. "I don't know."
A loud gonging noise rang out from back towards the ferry; they were leaving soon. Raindrops continued to pour down on them, although Chelsea couldn't tell them from the tears at this point.
"I have to go. The boat-"
"You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, Chelsea."
His words only made the sobs come faster. Hysterics were threatening to take her over; it was a few moments before she could answer properly.
"But I do want to. I want to go. I have to go, don't you understand? There's nothing for me here anymore. How am I supposed to survive in a city without a job, Vaughn? How? I'm so sick of being here! Why don't you understand?"
The volume of her speech had risen considerably by the time she finished talking. Vaughn took the smallest step back from her, his expression unreadable. His hands traveled from her arms, up past her collarbone until they were cradling her face. The voice coming from him was deceptively calm.
"Don't do this. Stay with me. "
Squeezing her eyes shut tightly, Chelsea felt the tears clinging to her lashes drop down her cheeks. She shook her head once more.
"Why now? Why are you doing this now, Vaughn? It's too late now; why did you have to wait?"
Chelsea opened her eyes to see his jaw clenched, a familiar, defiant look in her eyes. "It's not too late. You're still here. I…I…"
Holding her breath, Chelsea realized where the conversation was going. She willed him not to say it, not to say those three horrible words out loud, for if he did, there would truly be no going back.
"I…I can't imagine you gone. I can't see it. I don't know…how…"
His voice cracked on the last word as he struggled to speak the turmoil in his mind. Relieved, Chelsea ignored the small ripping sensations in her chest and the mixed emotions that came with it.
The clock was ticking. The ferry was leaving in a matter of minutes. What would she do? Stay or go? Stay or go?
Before she could do anything more, several things happened at once. Vaughn's body was suddenly jerked backward by two pairs of hands on his shoulders; Chelsea looked toward him in time to see two large men attempting to drag him backwards through the crowd. Noticing their uniforms, a cold recognition flooded through her blood. She recalled the man in the crowd with the phone…and the first official, wanting to get security…
Had they actually called security on Vaughn? Had they called the police?
Something indiscernible inside of her snapped. Her self control splintered and broke, the pieces flying without certain direction. Chelsea began to struggle forward after him, shoving through the crowds and forgetting about everything else entirely.
"No! NO! Let him go! He didn't do anything! He was looking for me! Please, let him go! VAUGHN!"
"CHELSEA! Let me go, you son of a-"
A hard exhale of air could be heard from one of the men as Vaughn's elbow found his stomach. All around, people were staring and whispering, watching the debacle with wide, fearful eyes.
At the same time, a different set of hands clamped down on Chelsea's own shoulders.
Spinning around, Chelsea was met face to face with another of the ferry officials, a different one from before.
"What-"
"Miss Lambent, if you would please come with me. The ferry is nearly finished boarding."
"No, no you don't understand -"
The official looked somewhat regretful. "I'm sorry, ma'am, but I'm going to have to insist. Upon closer inspection of your boarding ticket, it appears it has already been paid for and that a room has been booked for you specifically. It is part of the contract that you must-"
Chelsea had stopped listening to him. She had stopped listening to anything but Vaughn's yelling, getting quieter and quieter as they dragged him away.
"VAUGHN! No! Let me go!"
Tugging her hardest against the official's restraint, Chelsea was surprised to be rid of his hold so easily. So surprised, in fact, that she began to lose her balance on the slippery ground…
The dock's wooden surface came rushing up as Chelsea fell forward, the world turned frighteningly diagonal as her footing was lost completely. Unable to catch herself, she hit the ground head-first with a startlingly hard thud.
Dizziness washed over Chelsea like a wave, pulling her closer to unconsciousness each second. Faces appeared above her, blurred and indistinct, as they each slowly turned to black, one by one…
Her name, being called out by Vaughn in the far distance, was the last thing she held on to before letting herself succumb to the darkness.
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Author's Note: Bleh. I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter…It took me a good long while to write it, though. I'm glad it's over and done with. Hopefully it isn't too confusing! Anyways, thanks for reading, and hope you enjoy this chapter of World Sick! Feedback is always appreciated!