HEADS UP: This chapter at the very beginning contains a detailed description of a panic attack. If you think you may have a visceral negative reaction to it, please skip to the first page break. Please be good to yourself, dear reader.

That being said. Miriel has been having trouble sleeping and seeks help. SFW.

Can Anybody Hear?

Black. Everything was black, except it where it was blindingly green – light slithering out of the darkness, twisting around her body, holding her in a vice-like grip. She thrashed, head whipping to and fro as she tried to free herself from the light, to fall back into the darkness.

"Witness the will that is Corypheus." Whispered reverberated in her skull, inescapable.

"You have spoilt it with your stumbling." Closer still, all around her, in her.

"Cannot allow you to survive."

"Kill."

Cold air shocked her system as Miriel bolted up in her bed. She saw her room with its open doors and soft billowing drapes, but all she felt were the searing hot claws of the demons that still cackled in her mind. Heart racing, chest heaving, and eyes wide she shrank back into her bed – a heavy pressure resting upon her back and chest.

It was the third night in a row that Miriel woke screaming from a nightmare. Her entire body shook as she sobbed into her pillow. The Mark flickered and she flinched away from its light. It was because of that damn thing that the demons wanted her; they assaulted her sleeping mind readily and often. Creeping, crawling, screeching into her mind they came, green light a throbbing pain against her temple. Terror whipped through her, an invisible hand pressing her closer into the bed. She couldn't move, why couldn't she move? She needed to move! She had to run! Flee! Escape! But she couldn't, she couldn't move, because if she moved, it would know, it would see.

It laughed in the back of her mind, look at the little elf girl, all alone…all alone…all alone. Her chest heaved even faster as she silently cried in anguish. She was paralyzed, her only movement subjected to the sobs wracking her body. Her mouth curved open in a perpetual silent scream. She curled inward, her muscles following the whim of the terror instead of her mind. Her body wasn't listening to her, it was as if it wasn't her own and that fueled the terror even more. She was out of her own control, a slave to the power that she hadn't even asked for.

Heart pounding, sweat dripping, the sheets suddenly feeling suffocating, Miriel prayed that someone would come in, see her. Could they save her? Could she be saved? What is happening to me?

The more she thought, the worse it got, so she tried to stop thinking, focused on her breathing. Breathe. In….out….in…out…in…out. A flicker of a memory of lying in the soft grass on the edges of a forest crept into her mind. She clung to the memory, trying to feel the prickle of the grass instead of the too soft sheets of the bed. She tried to feel the sunlight warming her face, the sound of the birds chirping, the wind gently blowing. Laughter trickled through the edges of her mind, but unlike the demons, this laughter was welcome. Her clan…Dhavon, there, laughing. For some reason the distant sound of his voice seemed to calm her, a warm blanket wrapping around her in a reaction that she didn't fully understand. But it didn't matter, her heart began to slow.

Nobody came in to help her as she rode it out, as she felt everything around too clearly. Nobody heard her silence.

It took Miriel over an hour before her breathing began to return to normal, the sobs subsiding into sniffles. She didn't want to be alone, but she still couldn't really move. So she stayed in her too large bed, her sheets twisted around her sweat covered body. She listened to the night sounds, the wind moving the trees, a calm whistle. No birds chirped, but a dog barked every now and then. She heard the whispering murmurs of insomniacs and secret lovers. A wolf howled, a lonely sound that she felt strangely comforted by. That wolf was all alone, like her in that moment. She wanted to reach out to that wolf, feel its soft fur and howl with it. They could be two lone voices in the night. And maybe, just maybe, she could prove the demons wrong.

Miriel did not fall back asleep that night; instead she stayed up, listening to all of the solitary noises of the night.

Miriel was exhausted beyond measure. The terror of the night and lack of sleep plus all the exertion from her regular excursions were taking a toll. Her muscles felt strained and limp at the same time, her body moving in an automated fashion. She had only returned from helping Cassandra find the missing Seekers before last night, worn out from fighting experienced men and women, and then to not receive any sleep? It was amazing that she was able to focus on the report on the Dales in front of her.

"We just received an urgent SOS from the soldiers in the Exalted Plains. It looks like both Gaspard and Celene's forces are being assaulted by demons and a group of deserters calling themselves the Freemen of the Dales. Neither Gaspard nor Celene have sent reinforcements, I doubt the soldiers can last much longer without some intervention." Cullen said as he passed her the reports. Miriel rubbed her face.

"I will leave for the Exalted Plains in two days then, give the crew time to prepare." Miriel nodded as she handled the paperwork allowing for forward scouts to head to the Plains.

"Varric would like to present a matter that may be of use to the Inquisition," Leliana explained as the dwarf stepped forward.

"I have a friend who has previous dealings with Corypheus, I sent her a letter when we arrived at Skyhold. I have now received word back that she will be here in two weeks." Varric looked nervous as he explained but Miriel nodded, happy at the news.

"Great, that means whatever we do in the Plains will have to be quick to be back in time to meet your friend. Great work everybody." That usually dismissed the group but this time nobody left, they all just got in closer and began talking to her at once. Always a million things!

"Cullen first! Then Leliana, then Josephine. Sorry, just usually if Cullen is coming to me about something, it's urgent, so what is it, Commander?"

"A patrol has gone missing on the Storm Coast, should we send our own men in or ask the Blades of Hessarian to step in with assistance?"

"How many men are missing?"

"About twelve."

"Send about ten scouts, Leliana, with a missive asking for the Blades' help in this matter, we want those men back." She signed off on the missive.

"Yes, Inquisitor, thank you." The Commander left, reading over reports. Leliana stepped forward, handed a bundle to the Inquisitor and smiled.

"There are signs of Dalish clan movements from all around Orlais." Miriel's brow furrowed.

"Is there a general pattern they are following or does each display a different movement pattern?"

"They all seem to be heading southward, toward the Dales. News of a Dalish becoming the Inquisitor seems to have reached your people, Inquisitor." Miriel found herself smile.

"Well hopefully they like the news."

"There could be ramifications of this movement, your Worship." Josephine stepped in, looking concerned. "The Dalish clans in Orlais are small for a reason, Inquisitor, the Orlesians do not take too kindly to your people. Proclaiming an alliance with your people could potentially make it more difficult to forge an alliance with Orlais."

"I am aware of that, Ambassador, but this movement could not be exactly toward the Dales, but towards Skyhold. Solas says that this place was built upon an elven ruin, other clans may be more aware of its history than I was. They may know of its existence and its ability to shelter them from the storm that is Corypheus." Miriel explained. When both her spymaster and ambassador still did not seem satisfied, Miriel sighed.

"Make a public declaration that Skyhold is a haven for all who wish safe harbor from Corypheus – no matter the race. Hopefully we can attract more people we can recruit into agent positions. The Dalish will know that they are welcome here and we don't have to risk the disapproval of Orlesian nobles and the throne that we will need to woo." Josie and Leliana smiled at Miriel's solution, finally.

"We will monitor the situation closely, Inquisitor," Josephine nodded and left the room, poised as ever. Leliana did not speak until the Ambassador had closed the door.

"Grey Wardens suffer from nightmares due to the Blight. When I traveled with the Hero of Ferelden, I would hear her wake up in the middle of the night, crying. Alistair comforted her, held her through the worst of it. He understood the horror. When they became romantically involved, his love and comfort were what ensured she slept at all." Leliana kept her voice and face soft as she spoke, as if Miriel were a piece of delicate glass being handled.

"What are you saying, Leliana?" Miriel looked away from Leliana to stare at the map of southern Thedas. The Spymaster sighed and stepped close to the Inquisitor and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

"I am saying that if you need any support or love to help you get through anything, it is there, you need only ask." Miriel closed her eyes.

"Thank you, Leliana…it means a lot to hear you say that." Forgoing normal etiquette, Leliana pulled Miriel in for a hug.

"Of course, my friend, of course." They stood like that for a while, and when they parted they didn't say anything as they went their separate ways.

Miriel was kept busy for the rest of the day; she wasn't able to dread going to sleep until she was in her room, by herself, the quiet a thousand pound boulder hanging above her head. She tried to go through the motions of getting ready for bed. She stripped off her clothes, put on a simple cotton sleeping shirt that was cut for a human man. She brushed her long, blonde hair. She scrubbed her face free of makeup and then stared at the bed for a long time. The longer she stared, the closer that boulder felt, it was an undeniable pressure and worry. The longer she stared, the closer the terror came, until it was about to reach her.

"NO," Miriel cried and ran from the room. She ran down the flights of stairs, down the main hall, into the rotunda, up the stairs to the library, through a doorway that led to the main hall mezzanine, through another doorway that led to a balcony, and then down that balcony to the last door. She burst through the door, panting and with wild eyes, startling an almost asleep Solas.

"I need to be held. I need to be comforted and held and help, because I can't go to sleep alone, I-I can't, I just can't." She didn't cry but she felt the panic in her eyes as she gazed at him. He blinked at her once, then twice and then nodded.

"Very well," he moved over on the bed, and she walked further into the room.

"Very well? What do you mean?" She even felt the hysteria coming off of her. Solas looked up at her from his lying down position.

"I am agreeing to help you." Her brow furrowed.

"I thought you needed time to figure out what you wanted to do, and this isn't giving you time, dammit, I should have remembered that, I'm sorry-"

"Stop," he sat up and took her hands in his. "Lethallan, whatever we will be, right now I am your friend. Let me assist you." She looked away, her hands shaking in his. The tremor had moved up into her shoulders and she closed her eyes, trying to stave off the assault on her senses. Solas moved off the bed and stood.

"Look at me, Miriel, please look at me." She didn't, so Solas did the only thing he could think of. He took her into his arms and held her tight.

"Shhh," he cooed as he rubbed her back. "I am here, lethallan, shhh." It did not work immediately. She shook for several moments, the almost panic still wracking her body. But her hands moved and grabbed his shirt. She clung to him like a babe to its mother. He was her lifeline, her root in reality. Solas. Solas. Solas. His name became a chant in her head as she focused on the soft, worn texture of his cotton night shirt, the not unpleasant hard presence of his chin on her head. She focused on the soft sweet nothings he whispered. His hands were strong and simultaneously held and rubbed her back.

She was finally able to turn her head and open her eyes. She pressed herself closer into Solas and he hummed his approval.

"There, feel your surroundings. There is nothing here that can harm you. I am here. I will protect you," he continued to murmur.

"I-I don't know why," she said, her raw voice was her first clue that she had been crying into his shirt. Her hand drifted up to her face, feeling the wetness on her cheek.

"It happens because you have survived several ordeals that would break most. Miriel, you are incredibly strong to be holding up this well," he praised her, pulling away just enough to affectionately touch her face, brushing her hair and tears from her face.

"I don't feel particularly strong right now," she replied.

"We cannot always be strong," he paused briefly, watching her face with the most tender expression she had ever seen him don.

"I know a sleeping spell that would allow you to sleep undisturbed by demons," he offered and she did not hesitate to nod her head.

"That would be perfect, thank you," she bit her lip before taking a deep breath, "and Solas? Could…may I sleep here, with you, tonight?" His eyes widened before she rushed out, "I-I just can't be alone when I wake up. I don't want to be alone."

"I understand, lethallan. And yes, you may sleep here tonight," he directed her to the bed where she sat. Solas moved his hands away only to cast his spell. His magic fell over her like a familiar warm blanket and she drifted comfortably into sleep.

Solas caught her and readjusted her on the bed. Unsure of what she needed in sleep, Solas eased them both under the covers and took her hand in his. Impulsively, he kissed the back of her hand before closing his eyes and easing into the Fade.

Solas woke up to scent of flowers and a soft tingly feeling in his nose. He was warm, warmer than usual, but pleasantly so. His body was wonderfully relaxed as was the sleeping woman in his arms was. Wait…what? Solas opened his eyes and realized that the soft tingly feeling in his nose was Miriel's hair. He was warm because his body was curled around hers under the blanket. His arm was wrapped around her, holding her hand by her face, while her head rested on his other arm. Their bodies were completely pressed up against each other, with his curled around her much smaller frame. He moved to exit the embrace but it seemed to rouse her. She moved and he stopped, not wanting to wake her. She seemed so peaceful, and it seemed so…right for her to be sleeping there, in his arms. Something in his mind said that this was not good, that he was getting in too deep, but then she nuzzled his arm and all those doubts left his mind.

With a soft sigh, Solas allowed his body to relax around hers. He looked down at her face and a smile spread across his own. She was young, only twenty five years old, but with the tension she faced on a daily basis, she often looked older with lines tense around her eyes and mouth. But here, seeing her asleep and finally relaxed, she appeared young and mercilessly beautiful. Even with the cruel Vallaslin, she was the most beautiful creature he had ever had the privilege of seeing. She was radiant, and he was not simply referring to her obvious physical beauty, but her spirit. Void take him, but her spirit. At first he had been shocked that such a kind and genuine soul could exist in the squalor of this world. That shock had turned to admiration which had then turned to protection. A spirit such hers was rare even among the days of Arlathan, it was then a miracle that it existed at all in this world and it had to be protected. Protection had then morphed into affection as she revealed her more playful nature, encouraging his own lingering teasing tendencies to come forth. He smiled sadly as knew that affection was what had spurred him to respond to passionately to her kiss in the Fade. The kiss…how long had it been since he had been kissed with honest affection? He could not even recall, and he did not wish to because it could not even hope to compare to the softness, the fullness, and the perfect responsiveness that Miriel possessed. No other could taste as sweet, would ever come close to breaking his control like she had.

She had this ability to see the holes in his armor and wiggle herself into them, getting close to him, and breaking that armor from him. She rattled and confused him all the while instilling a heat and desire within him that both annoyed and thrilled him. Miriel was simply unlike any other he had ever met. And when she shifted, pulling his hand closer into her chest so that she could essentially hug his arm, he sighed and rested his head on top of hers. It had been so long since he had felt anything like this odd mixture of peace, affection, and absolute shock. He found himself reticent of it going away, so he held her and pressed his lips to the top of her head.

Miriel woke up in Solas's arms in utter bliss. The man was a total cuddle monger. When he had moved over to her in the middle of the night with searching arms she had been shocked. He had wrapped his arms around her; his leg went over her hip and pressed her even closer. She had moved away once and the man had made the most pitiful whine in his sleep! So she had snuggled back up into his arms, earning a pleased noise that was half way between a grunt and a sigh.

Other than the brief time she was awake with the cuddle monster that is sleeping Solas, she had slept soundly without nightmares. She had no idea what time it was, and she didn't care, what she did care about was the fact that awake Solas was also a warm cuddle monster who wasn't letting her go. That was wonderful. What was more wonderful was that she was rested enough to recognize how wonderful it was that he was holding her, fully conscious and aware of his actions, and not pulling away.

As wonderful as it all was, she needed to move. Her muscles were beginning to cramp, so she began to move and they both adjusted themselves until she was resting on her back and he was on his side, propping his head up with his left hand.

"Good morning," he said, bringing his hand up to push her hair out of her face. His fingers lingered for the briefest second on her cheek and she gave a small smile.

"Hi," she whispered back. Her hands trailed up his chest, feeling him through his sleep shirt.

"Did you sleep well?" He asked softly and she nodded.

"Much better, thank you," she began, but then she smiled mischievously, "thanks to your expert cuddling skills." His brow lifted in curiosity.

"Are you suggesting that I initiated that particular sleeping position?" He asked, twirling a strand of her hair around his finger and thumb.

"No, I am saying you did initiate it. You pulled me into your chest and everything, it was very cute," she explained and not so subtly scooched closer to him.

"I did no such thing," he immediately responded and she frowned, ears drooping.

"You don't want to cuddle me?" She asked softly and he stopped twirling her hair to look her in the eye.

"I did not say that," he replied. She wiggled a bit and stuck out her bottom lip in a pout. Miriel laid her hand on her dramatically and sighed.

"No, no, it's okay. I understand, I am not worthy of such cuddles."

He pursed his lips at her antics, "You are being ridiculous."

"No hugs for Miri, nope, no hugs, or cuddles, or even pats on the head!" She lamented. Yes, she was being ridiculous and dramatic but at that moment, she couldn't really care. She had slept. And not only had she slept, but she had slept in this beautiful, smart-ass, intelligent man's arms.

Solas sighed and looked at her for a moment before smiling and shaking his head. Before she could respond, he was pulling her back into his embrace. He turned so that he was laying on his back and her head rested on his chest while her body curled around his body. She gasped in surprise but then smiled as she snuggled into his body.

"I am glad you are feeling better," he whispered at the top of her head. She hummed in happiness as he placed his hand on top of hers by her face.

"Ma serannas, Solas," she murmured back, nuzzling his chest affectionately.

He was fairly convinced that she had planned this whole morning so that they ended up even more entangled than when they were sleeping, but for the life of him, Solas could not be upset one bit about it. She was so small in his arms, but so strong, and he couldn't bring himself to let her go any time soon that morning. She was late to a dozen meetings but neither of them were upset or concerned about the time spent that morning, resting happily in their own little cocoon away from the rest of the world.

This is so late, I am so sorry. For the past two days I have been moving into a new apartment and life has been a bit crazy. But better late than never, yes?

So some notes about this chapter. I am aware that Solas is a bit, or maybe a lot, out of character. I debated with myself for a long time whether I wanted to post this chapter. I decided to post this because it holds a lot of meaning for Miriel and me. So the description of Miriel's panic attack is very much based on my own experience. I wrote this piece, or a very early version of it, about a year ago when I began to suffer from panic attacks. Writing was one of the only outlets that really helped, so this happened (this entire fanfiction actually).

Thank you for reading and I hope this didn't get too "after school special" for you. You are the loveliest readers, and I hope you have a wonderful day.

PS. the chapter title is based on the song "I'm In Here" by Sia.