Weiss Reacts to Crack Pairings!

A/N: Hey guys. I know you expected a chapter on flaming, and I was indeed working on writing it. However, the content of the finished chapter was, to be quite frank, not up to my standards, possibly controversial and hurtful to others, and I don't really want to be a jerk, so I decided to scrap that idea and do a more comedic crack pairing chapter instead. Sorry for the let-down, but enjoy your ship tease!

DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth. Otherwise Yang would be doing Tifa cosplays.

Weiss was just merrily browsing the Dustnet for fanfiction, as she was always doing nowadays. Since someone had managed to steal half of her stash of yaoi manga –Weiss blushed at the thought of reading those- she had not much else to read.

Until she happened upon something peculiar, nothing had caught her eye. It was a normal, decent quality fan story; nothing too special, except for the pairing right in the description.

"...Blake and Penny? Ruby and Cardin? ME AND JAUNE?! WHAT THE DUST?!"

The heiress furiously clicked on the link and read through it closely, curious and somewhat irritated that yet another person had shipped her with the JNPR team leader.

He was a Dust-damned idiot. Weiss, after all, didn't find that adorable, or attractive, or somewhat compelling, and she certainly didn't want to help the guy out and maybe-

"Okay, that thought went somewhere bad."

Velvet protested.

"ELF-KUN. SHE IS MINE. I SWEAR IF YOU SHIP HER WITH JAUNE I WILL POUT AT YOU UNTIL YOU DIE FROM CUTENESS."

Meanwhile, in the JNPR dorm straight across the dorm from them, Jaune had happened upon the exact same fanfiction.

"Whoa...who'd ship Blake with Penny? I don't even think they met each other..."Jaune wondered. Ren chimed in. "It's original, at least."

"Yeah, but do you think they met each other at least once?"

"Don't even think they did in canon." He shrugged. "As of Episode 16, probably not."

"And really, Ruby with Cardin? What?"

"Ok, that one's suspicious. Open it up. I want to see what that's about." Ren went over to Jaune to read the monitor as Jaune opened up the story.

"WHAT. W...no, just...no! What? When...WHEN DID CARDIN BECOME NICE?!" The heiress could not believe her eyes. Cardin, even though he'd lightened up in the intervening two years, was still somewhat of a jerkass, even if he had his nice moments. Yet this fanfic had practically turned him into a saint-

Cardin sneezed.

"Did someone mention my name-Oh, right, sorry." He looked around at the kids surrounding him and gave them an apologetic look. "Where was I, again?"

"You were at the part where the knight saves the princess!" One child said cheerily. The boy smiled and continued reading.

The teacher accompanying him muttered. "I see he's got an eye for charitable acts. He doesn't look it, but a boy who wants to volunteer for a reading session in his vacation for a poor school..." They nodded approvingly.

"I mean, okay, he got nicer, but seriously, this isn't just nice. This is practically..." The heiress sighed. "It's just a fanfic, it's just a fanfic, MST3K mantra, yadda yadda...

Alright...I can...live with a nice Cardin...but why would he take any interest in Ruby of all people? I mean, isn't Ruby a little young for him? And why would Ruby like him of all people? I mean, they're not a match at all! This doesn't work. I don't like it." She shook her head.

"And no, this isn't because I may or may not be interested in that little dunce of a girl. Of course not!" She said to nobody in particular.

"Blake and Penny? Really?" Ren blinked in confusion as Jaune nodded. "Well...it makes little sense...but hey, they mesh really well together.

I mean, Blake's all quiet and aloof and calm, and Penny, from what I know of her from Animecon-"

"Never speak about that again, Arc."

"Sorry, but I had to. From what Ruby told me and what I know, she's quite hyperactive, friendly and kinda...kinda like a squirrel on a sugar high with a death wish."

"Contrasts...I like the idea." Ren nodded in approval. "It's still absolute crack."

"I know. But you have to agree it's somewhat cute, right?"

"I can imagine Nora squeeing all over it. So yes."

Speaking of Nora...

"AH NORA NO"
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING"
"Sloth stuff!"

"BUT THAT ISN'T WHERE YOU-"

"Oh, hold still, Yang! I'm trying to emulate the majestic hanging gesture of a sloth!"
"RUBES HELP"

"DAMMIT MY HANDS ARE CURSED THIS IS NOT HOW I WANTED TO LIVE LIFE"

Nora made sloth noises in response.

"Right...so at least the progression is realistic..." Weiss nodded in approval. "Apart from the nonsensicality of the pairings, they're quite...compelling. It's like the writer knew what he was writing about." She continued reading, having forgotten that-

"OH NO HE DIDN'T." She pointed at the screen with a quivering finger. "SERIOUSLY?! I DON'T EVEN LIKE JAUNE. THIS IS SUCH CRACK!"

She'd forgotten in all her contemplation that the story featured her and Jaune paired up as it's only- at least, to both the fandom and Beacon at large- logical pairing.

Jaune and Ren cringed at the sounds coming from RWBY dorm.

"Weiss?"
"Weiss."

"Should we go check?"

"I dunno...pretty sure Weiss is probably...busy..." Jaune hesitated. "Uh...I'll go...I'll just bring my shield in case something goes wrong."

Ren looked out for him. "Careful. You know what happened to the last person who made her angry."

Dove Bronzewing huddled in a corner, shivering and shaking.

"No...the ice...ice everywhere...please...no..."

Jaune knocked tentatively on the door to RWBY dorm. Sounds of furious screaming rebounded inside. He wondered briefly if it wasn't too late to turn back and keep himself alive, but he stiffened his resolve and knocked again.

"W-Weiss...it's me...Jaune..."

The screaming stopped. Shortly, the heiress answered the door, her face ruddy and her normally well-groomed hair somewhat in disarray. Jaune was somewhat distracted by it; it seemed to play tricks with his eyes, seemed to glitter brightly-

"Arc? What do you want?"

"Um..." He shook himself out of his trance. "Um...uh...well..."

"Well?"

"I...I heard screaming and I wanted to go over and-"

"Just another fanfiction featuring you and me being shipped. Again."

"Wait, did this have Blake and Penny as well?" Weiss' eyes widened. "Yes...yes it did. Why, did you read it as well?"

"Just now, in fact."

"Uh." The heiress blinked. "Do you not think that's unrealistic?"

"I personally agree with the Ruby and Cardin thing. I mean, Cardin's nice now and all, but I still don't think Ruby would go for him. Would you?" Jaune chuckled nervously- an angry Weiss was possibly more dangerous than all the Grimm Remnant could throw at them.

"You could say that. Blake and Penny, though... I mean, the contrast is...hilarious."

"What, really? I mean, I agree."

"You do?"

"Yeah, totally. Uh..." The blond boy suddenly felt as if he could capitalise on this moment of rapport. "Hey...listen..."

"Yes?"

"Um...you know you could write something yourself?"

Weiss nodded. "I've been considering it...but I never really thought of doing it..."

"Well...why don't you do it? You always complain about bad fanfiction, so why don't you write your own?"
"I...well...I wouldn't know how to." She confessed, shrugging. Jaune saw this as a definite opportunity.

"Well...why don't we talk about it over a hot chocolate? Just the two of us? Outside? As friends?"

"I...well...if it isn't a date, Arc. Remember that. It's not a date." The heiress nodded, a hand on her hip.

"So, tonight then?"

"Tonight."

Weiss thought about writing her own fanfiction. It was a genuinely interesting idea, for her at least. She'd thought about it before, briefly, but she'd never actually had time to put in her ideas.

Sighing, she closed down her word processor for the umpteenth time and looked back at the other fanfiction.

"...maybe...hm..." She nodded. "A romance fanfiction might be a good thing to start...I have not got a clue how to write one, but maybe...maybe Jaune might help...and didn't he say Ren did as well...hm.

Well, it would make a better contrast to all those bad ones I've seen floating around, certainly. In fact, I should." She nodded, but first...

She decided to leave one review. As weird as it was, this fanfiction had pretty much inspired her into writing her own, and the heiress felt she couldn't just ignore this unknown person for their inspiring her.

-From: TheRealIceHeiress

Interesting concept, well done. The pairings are quite...peculiar, but you have managed to convince me of their potential and spin a good story out of it. I disapprove of the Weiss x Jaune pairing- I have no interest in that dolt, believe me. I don't find him attractive. At all.

However, you have done something else- indirectly, you have managed to rekindle my interest in writing, and so, I have to thank you for that. I hope to read more from you. Good day.

-Weiss Schnee

Later that night...

"So you left him a review?" Jaune inquired while sipping his hot chocolate.

"Indeed." Weiss sipped her own. "I thanked him."

"For what?"

"Inspiring me."

"That's awfully nice of you."

"Don't test me, Jaune." Weiss shot back. "I AM nice."

"You sure about that, snow angel?"

"Quit calling me that."

"Can't help it if you've got the looks of one-" Weiss gave him a glare that would kill even a Nevermore. "...sorry..."

"...this is not a date."

"...so..." Jaune hastily changed the subject. "You're going to write your own?"

"Yes."

"What about?"

"Well...there was that one series I saw at Animecon...I believe it was called...Phoenix Ranger Featherman?" She shrugged. "I mean, I've watched a couple of episodes...I could..."

"Well, better to start watching more to get a feel of the material. You know what I mean?"

"I suppose." She nodded. "But...still...feel free to call me out on it if I decide to write a 'crack' pairing. Seriously."

"I know, right?" Jaune laughed. "I mean, seriously."

"Heh. You look happy. "

"Can't help it. I'm drinking hot chocolate, on a cold night, with the most attractive friend I have." He smirked. "While talking about fanfiction."

Weiss gave him a warm smile. "...you consider me a friend...that's...oddly sweet of you."

"Yeah. I suppose."

They continued chatting on, even as they walked back to the dorms.

Meanwhile...

Glynda looked shiftily about, before opening up her profile.

"...nobody must know." She looked carefully through the stories she'd written, including "Love in All The Wrong Places", a fanfic she'd written shipping, among other things, Blake and Penny.

"Yes...one thousand views." She laughed. "This will be my masterpiece...wait...somebody reviewed this?"

She opened it up.

"...Miss Schnee knows? SHE KNOWS?!"

The sound of Glynda's "NO!" rang through the halls that night.

END

A/N: Wee, JaunexWeiss ship tease. And crack pairings. Disclaimer here, but I don't support nor bash any of the pairings mentioned in the story. At all. Ship what you want, I'm not going to hurt you :P

So yeah. Next chapter, thanks to the brilliant writer LittleSunDragon-Chan, will be RWBY Reacts to Dear Fanfiction! Thanks for letting me write about it, a little shout out to you, hope my efforts don't disgrace your work!

Read, enjoy, leave your reviews, comments and thoughts, and have a good day! Until next time!