This is like the one story that I actually update on time.
Trigger warning (which I should have been doing this whole time, so apologies): Over the next few chapters, Sam's really not going to be in a good place. He's on his own, has demon blood in him, and believes he is evil. So, he develops suicidal thoughts and goes into a kind of depressed state. Not too bad in this chapter, but next one will be pretty heavy on the suicidal thing.
...
"Do I have to run and hide?"
Sam Winchester was in fact, not dead. Nor was he seriously injured in any way, although sore from sleeping oddly. But John came barging through a house that contained Dean, with a gun and the intention of using it. Sam wasn't completely human either, and it wasn't something even remotely innocent. He was the worst kind of monster. The demon blood was pumping through his veins, and Sam imagined he could almost feel it slithering inside of him, slowly gripping his heart until it was a dark as the blood surrounding it. He shuttered, drawing in deep breaths before slowly letting them out.
The bus he was on was crowded, as it was time for all the adults to go to work and all the non-demonic children to go to school. Sam was sitting next to a pretty blond girl who looked about his age, and she kept sneaking glances at Sam. If only she knew who she was staring at, she'd be screaming at the top of her lungs in fear. But instead she opened her mouth and spoke.
"Hi." She smiled, and Sam smiled with her. Her face seemed honest and open, almost innocent in a way, and Sam felt a small amount of jealousy curl in his stomach, but it wasn't her fault he was wrong.
"Hey." Sam replied.
"I'm Lizzie."
"Sam."
They talked for the remainder of Lizzie's bus ride, and Sam fabricated some story about visiting family, when in reality he was in this small town because he had just received angel warding. It hung around his neck, and while the man who had given it to him, Frank, had seemed weird, Gabriel hadn't popped up, so it seemed to be working. Ironically, the charm it was placed upon was a distorted version of the amulet Sam had gifted to Dean. It was black instead of gold, and the face seemed pinched and harsh. There were other differences, and as Sam thought about it more the necklaces had more of those than similarities, but he just wanted his big brother at that moment.
Lizzie eventually got off the bus a block away from her high school, and Sam waved as she walked away, her phone number crushed in his hand. He'd never call her of course, but he wished he could. Call her, take her out to dinner and a movie, and forget about demons and angels and Dean and the father that wanted nothing more than to put a bullet in his youngest's head, which wasn't a very pleasant thought.
Sam continued to ride the bus throughout the night. He suspected that the driver suspected that Sam didn't have anywhere to go and was simply allowing him to stay on, because he was breaking the rules, and he wasn't kicked off when the driver's shift ended and another one took his place after they stood outside the bus talking.
People came on and off, and Sam left before the sun rose, fearing he'd see Lizzie again in the same seat and clothing as she had seen him yesterday. So he wandered around until he found a public bathroom to change in, and then chose to simply bathe in the sunlight at the town park. He knew he needed to leave town soon, since he had three angels and Dean looking for him, but it was warm and he was more peaceful than he had been in a while, especially since the discovery about his blood and running off on Dean, which Sam knew was a pretty shitty thing to do, but Sam didn't know his other options. How else would he control the anger boiling at his core, the dark thoughts creeping in his head?
How else would he keep Dean and the angels safe from Sam Winchester?
There was always the permanent option.
Death.