"Porcupine Embrace"
Movement 11
"Revengefuck"
1
EVANGELION UNIT 02: SECOND CHILDREN
SYNCHRONIZATION RATE: 18.2%
2
Asuka couldn't react as Unit 01, letting out a guttural growl, sprung from where it was and leapt into the air. Tracing a graceful arc, it landed hard, mere meters from Unit 02. Panic gripped Asuka; shrinking away and pressing hard against the seat, she began to pull on the controls. The need for escape took over her entire being. There was nothing else left – she just wanted to get away from the monster in front of her.
Unit 02 wasn't moving.
3
Ritsuko grabbed the microphone.
"Rei! Defend Unit 02!"
"Understood."
Misato felt dizzy as Ritsuko gave the microphone back. Behind her, Maya, Shigure and Makoto were working up a storm, shouting technical nonsense as to how the EVA was even operating without battery or any internal power left.
"He's on the brink of losing himself." Ritsuko said, "At this rate, the line between the EVA and his own self should be blurred... he's running the risk of disappearing, losing himself."
"What can we do..?"
"For now, let's hope Rei keeps it at bay... and that this state can't be sustained for long."
4
"Move, move, move, move, move, move, move, move!" Asuka felt the controls wrench every time she pulled them as far back as they would go, desperately trying to get the EVA to make a move, to take a step back, away from this... thing.
The curled fingers of Unit 01 jerked forward, the motion stopping as abruptly as it had began, and reached for Unit 02's throat. Asuka's eyes widened as she pulled, pulled and pulled, managing to elicit no reaction from her EVA. All she could hear was the growling, all she could see was the glowing eyes of the EVA, full of ill will...
"It won't move!" Asuka shrieked, "It won't move!"
Unit 00 emerged from between Unit 01's extended arms, using its shoulder pylons to force the elbow joints to bend backwards, to which Unit 01 responded by pulling its arms back. Unit 02 stumbled back, by two shaky steps. Rei stood between her and Unit 01, Prog Knife drawn and in a combat stance. The moment lingered, Units 00 and 01 staring each other down. Gradually, the blood-soaked Unit 01 wound down, it seemed. It gently settled onto its knees, let its arms hang on the sides. Head bent down, the light faded from its eyes.
Rei reached for the comm transmission the moment the spinal column of Unit 01 opened up and pushed the entry plug out.
5
Misato's foot was tapping on the grilled metal of the umbilical bridge, emitting a metallic sound with each strike of her boot's heel. A gurney was standing right beside her, along with three emergency residents. Emergency aid equipment, such as defibrillators and artificial breathers were stuffed into the space between the mattress and bottom railing of the gurney, all waiting to resuscitate Shinji Ikari... if he could be.
Ritsuko was smoking calmly next to Misato, but it was easy to see her the minute furrowing of her brow, her reserved mannerism. Misato didn't bother with that particular distraction – not when she had claimed that the pilot's life wasn't important.
The EVA unit, with the entry plug still exposed, was being maneuvered into its neutral position in the cage, ready to be locked in again. The heavy scent of blood and rotten meat had covered the bridge, and the EVA, Misato saw, was still drenched. With a shiver, she noticed that without the helmet, it looked like it was grinning madly with its eyes closed.
Slowly, Unit 01 was secured into place. The stench was unbearable by now, and Misato envied the paramedics for their surgical masks that would at least filter some of it.
"Let's go." Misato said, and, casting a sideways glance at Ritsuko, "Let's hope he's still alive."
6
At first, there was nothing. Just the silence, and the darkness. A sense of being beside himself, not being there at all. A distance that couldn't be bridged. Nothingness, if it was anything, had to be like this. Nothing.
Then, an echo. Echoes didn't exist in nothingness, did they? Nothing did, that was the point. But there it was. Something groaning. Something metal. A scraping sound, along with a clicking rotating sound. Sound existed in this nothingness. Who knew.
A light. So sharp and thin, it could cut through steel, it could cut through anything. Expanding, covering a larger area. Ah, the light at the end of the tunnel. What had Asuka said, once? It was his synapses firing as they died. He'd move closer and closer to it until the white-out washed his brain clean of his existence.
And there he was, being pulled closer. The last of him, excavated from the dead entry plug, a corpse. A maggot-ridden corpse, a dead thing. Him.
Closer now, closer still, every moment he was getting closer... the light felt warm... unbelievably warm... pulling him in.
Calling him home.
7
Misato didn't remember the last time she had cried like this. With the paramedics insisting that she should let go of him, she was holding onto his body with all her strength. She could feel his body, lithe and weak and cold, she could feel his heart beating... his lungs expanding to draw in air and contracting as they released...
Thank God... Thank God... Thank God...
"Major, please." A paramedic said, "We really need to get him sorted."
Misato withdrew reluctantly, but wouldn't let go of his hand. They put him on the gurney, began to hook him up to various devices. They took his hand from Misato to put on the heart monitor clip. Shinji looked delirious, his eyes turning in many directions, trying to catch a glimpse of where he was.
"It's alright." Misato whispered in his ear, "You're with us. You are safe now."
They took him away. Misato stared after him, a thousand worries in her head. Ritsuko came up to her side, snapping her right out of it.
"I'm glad he's alive." She said, "I didn't want to kill him, Misato."
"Save it." Misato said, "You can be so cold sometimes..."
"I suppose."
"He's alive. That's what matters."
"There is something else..." Ritsuko said, "...and it requires your attention."
"In a little while." Misato said, "I think I need a short break."
"Alright. I'll be in my lab."
Ritsuko left. Misato waited for her to get out of earshot to continue crying.
8
EVANGELION UNIT 02: SECOND CHILDREN
SYNCHRONIZATION RATE: 0%
"Sync rate... zero percent." Asuka murmured to herself.
While Shinji was being settled into the medical wing on the upper floors, Asuka was sitting next to her EVA. Unit 02 had been settled into the cage some time ago, and she had been extracted. Ever since then, she had sat there, holding her knees. The scant few technicians that passed her by went about their business as if she wasn't even there. There were a lot of them around, scurrying about to do this and that, stupid little details only technicians handled.
Every once in a while, she'd catch a word or two. She'd understand what they were talking about, identify familiar terms. None of them felt like they meant anything.
Asuka didn't move for a long time. Inside, the water was rising. She couldn't swim against the undercurrent dragging her down – humans weren't meant to float. It would engulf her soon, if it already hadn't. There was the pale, lifeless lights of the ceiling above, belonging to some kind of heaven, she guessed, and underneath her, the ice cold certainty of hell.
Zero percent... I'm nothing.
9
"...she succeeded in getting its body tucked away, comfortably enough, under her arm, with its legs hanging down, but generally, just as she had got its neck nicely straightened out, and was going to give the hedgehog a blow with its head, it WOULD twist itself round to look up in her face..."
This was new. She wasn't used to hearing her own voice so much. The most she ever talked was if the Commander ever pulled her in for lunch, often giving her small pieces of his life as tokens of his appreciation. He didn't have to, as his orders meant she'd do it.
She wasn't used to reading to someone, either, let alone the second Ikari in her life. She was taken off standby, and he was injured. It had seemed the most natural thing to do, to do what she had done before, only this time without being ordered to: Watch over him.
Second or third time now, I am the someone to watch over him.
Rei had chosen the book because it was on the subject of dreams, and because it was the only book she had in her duffel bag in the changing room. She had deemed it appropriate, because he, most likely, would be dreaming. Rei didn't dream, not exactly. She had been told by Dr. Akagi that the incomplete, unlinked images that every once in a while littered her sleep may have been dreams. But lately, she had been "dreaming", if it could be called that, more regularly. All of them seemed to feature him on the forefront. Him, his father's gloves and glasses, two fingers to push the lenses back to the correct position. At some point, she'd always tell him to take them off, that he didn't need them, but always feel that the real reason was because they looked unbecoming, inappropriate.
She had been frustrated by the elusive nature of these episodes, so she had requested a book about dreams. The one that passed Dr. Akagi's test was the one she was reading to Shinji. Maybe through this, she had thought, she would be able to understand how he and her dreams were connected.
Rei glanced at him. He seemed so at peace, as if merely sleeping. The I.V. hooked into his arm was just a cautionary measure. The various monitors at the head of his bed were beeping regularly – his heart was beating steadily. He was naked underneath the covers, she knew, a fact that somehow made her feel a warmer inside. She had been in this position before, but then, she hadn't really looked at him.
Every face is distinct. Something to separate you from the others. An identifier. Patterns on a surface, recognized by the fusiform gyrus, responsible for various forms of recognition. Familiarity.
His face is pleasant. It ties in with my other senses. Without touching, I can recall the smooth texture of his cheek. I know that his eyes are blue, the kind of blue that recalls the memory of clear skies. His scent is distinctively that of LCL, mixed with elements of his own. His voice, the frequency of which is so different in its reverberation than that of the other Ikari in my life... his voice is pleasant to my ears. All this familiarity I can't express... does it mean something? Is it supposed to?
The heart monitor was beeping contentedly.
10
Asuka crawled through the corridors. The base was a maze and she felt like a rat. Probably looked like one, too, she thought. Her steps were uneven, her feet shuffling, and she had little awareness of where she was going. She had in her left hand seven different item requisition forms, all for an SDAT player. Carried in her clenched fist, the pages gave the appearance of a crushed scroll. She had asked for, begged for and in one instance forcibly extracted the forms, all of which was a bit of a blur. A tooth stuck in her right fist was the only confirmation she had that yes, that annoying fucking pencil-pusher had bled all over his share.
Whatever.
You're burning the candle at both ends, Asuka-chan. You're burning out.
Fuck you. Let me burn out, then. Who gives a fuck anymore?
11
A familiar ceiling, white. Light fixture at the bottom of his vision, dead center – currently emitting a bright halo. He only had to begin looking around a room he had become familiar with when he found, instead, Rei's face as he had never seen it before: curious. Curious about something that lived behind his eyes, it seemed. He couldn't help but smile. This wasn't the first time he was waking up with her watching over him, and he was glad, now as he was then, that she was here.
"You're awake." Rei said, as if that in and of itself was a curiosity.
"I didn't die, did I?"
"No. You are still alive."
"I'm glad."
Rei's puzzlement grew. It was clear to read, to a degree that surprised even Shinji.
"I think I was dreaming." Shinji said.
Rei nodded.
"Do you dream?"
The question caught her off-guard, and she physically backed away a few centimeters.
"I suppose I do." She said, "Everyone does."
"I never dream." Shinji said, "But I guess, things change."
He smiled.
"Thank you for watching over me."
A hesitant silence, and then...
The door bleeped lightly and slid open, hissing. Two steps into the room, Asuka, unseen by both, froze, crushed forms in hand.
"You're welcome."
Rei found that she, too, was smiling. He had seen that smile before, which made his grow wider. The door slid back closed and the lock emitted a loud clacking sound, as the clamp slid into place.
12
Shinji was the first to notice her. How kind of him, at least he pretended to give a shit. The look of embarrassment crossing his face was the final confirmation, his sudden need to half-heartedly tidy himself up (doomed to failure due to his lack of coordination and the need to actually do so) the last straw, his feeble attempt to prop himself up on his elbows the final insult.
Something in Asuka's head snapped and in that moment, everything came crashing down.
Rei barely had time to react before Asuka's fist collided with her head, rattling her teeth and making her lose all sense of direction as the impact threw her off of her chair. Before she could react, Asuka was on her, her foot raised to strike her stomach cavity. Rei let out a strangled yelp and doubled over, which didn't stop the redhead's assault. The blows kept coming.
"You don't save me! You don't move me! You don't hold me back! You're not even alive!"
"Stop!" Shinji forced his body to let him rise, let him move. The bed sheets fell away from him as he managed to get his feet underneath him. He felt the cool air of the room against his foreskin and shivered to it. He shrugged it off. No. Let him be naked, let him be shamed – it didn't matter. Two feet from him, Asuka was flurry of strikes, all meant to hurt a balled up, shivering Rei.
"I said stop!" Shinji slid his arms under Asuka's armpits and grabbed hold of her neck. Pulling with his elbows, he tried to drag her out of range. Asuka's head jerked forward and then smashed back, flat against his nose, and the sudden jolt of pain across his skull blinded him. His grip slackened as spots danced in front of his eyes. Asuka broke his hold and turned.
In that split-second interim where Shinji stood eye-to-eye with her, he saw nothing but pure hatred in her eyes.
Asuka's hands shot forward, mimicking the motion Unit 01 had made earlier that day, and found his throat. She moved forward, pushing him down. She climbed on top of him, straddling him, and her thumbs pressed down his windpipe. Shinji's hands locked on her wrists, trying to pull her off. His fingers slid on the slick fabric of the plugsuit. His lungs were screaming for much more air than he was getting. He could feel her hands tremble as she choked him.
"You!" she snarled, "It's you! What's the point of you, huh, Shinji Ikari!? Why are you alive!?"
"A...suk...a... st... sto..."
No air. No breath. No escape. She would be seen. She would be heard.
"You don't get the best of me." Asuka said, leaning closer, "You're not my better. Not my equal! You can never be that, never! That's why you can't save me – You can't! You are not good enough to help me!" Brief release of the constricting grip allowed him to fill his lungs with blessed air, a second before her lips clamped onto his, her tongue sharply scraping across his. She withdrew, turned her head, and spat on the floor, "See? See how easy it is!? Who wants to kiss you? Who the hell even wants you!?" her grip tightened, "Who'd be disgusting enough to even want you!? Who the fuck are you, goddamn it? You're nothing! You're just a big bright nothing!"
Shinji twisted his neck, bucked his hips in attempt to throw her off. He couldn't get a good grip to use his hands. She was like judgment on top of him – he was writhing underneath her, being crushed by her weight.
"Asu... ka..."
"You, you, you, why? Why is it you!? I don't need anyone! Do you hear me, Shinji Ikari!? I don't need anyone else! I don't need you!"
In that moment, Shinji saw her. The room faded, Rei's painful whimpering breaking through as other sounds dissolved. He felt his fingers slip in through the small gaps left in her grip, gently holding her hands. She was still shouting, the vibrations made by her voice covered his face, as if her words were droplets of rain, soaking him. He saw her as she was, and his heart broke.
I'm sorry.