And another one! Yup, on a roll. Please enjoy!

Deth, Come Near Me

Canto 12: And Sometimes, She Thanks you

"He held your hair back while you vomited? Dolly, my darling, that is the epitome of modern chivalry. Marry that man." Maggie laughed as the two of them walked down the streets of Paris. After Skwisgaar had a violent allergic reaction to the cilantro in the barbeque sauce Nathan had an endorsement deal with, the band decided to take a break while he recovered. Dolly had Maggie flown to Mordhaus, and from there a couple Klokateers flew the two of them out to Paris for the weekend.

Maggie, nearly fluent in French, got the two of them into private parties and exclusive clubs. And when the hosts of said parties and clubs realized who Dolly was, they were invited into the VIP sections and offered thousand-dollar booze and the best pot money could buy.

Needless to say, the two of them partied their asses right off.

On Sunday morning (though it was just barely morning, the time being 11:49 AM), Dolly groggily woke up in a pale-lit hotel room, Egyptian cotton sheets - with thread counts too high to bother counting - on the floor next to her. An empty bottle of very old red wine sat next to her. Maggie was curled up in the sheets on the floor, still snoring the morning away.

Dolly, in extremely broken French, ordered room service to bring them their strongest aspirin, a couple warm baguettes and a huge slab of butter. The sound of the door opening woke Maggie up, and the two girls sat on the King sized bed, trying to remember what happened the night before as they munched on baguettes and butter.

"Coincidentally..." Maggie started, licking butter from her fingers. "Elof just arrived in Paris this morning. He's chaperoning a group of underprivileged children interested in art for charity. We should meet up with him; he'll be at the Louvre this afternoon."

Dolly laughed, "No wonder you wanted to come to France... Yeah, sure, I'd love to see him."

They opened up their closet, which contained a myriad of colorful pleated dresses, thin belts meant to tie at the waist, and big floppy sun hats. In their outfits, they looked like sisters. Maggie let her golden hair fly loose while Dolly pulled hers into a side ponytail, and together they felt like nymphs, soaking up the sun like that was all they needed to survive. They felt like everything was right with the world.

Offdensen sat in his office, the fire crackling next to him. It was dark, save the fire, and the shadows wriggled against the opposite wall. Offdensen was signing papers, and though he could scribble signatures in his sleep, he found himself awake and thinking about matters that, for once, didn't have to do with work. Or Dethklok. Or stocks or bonds or the exponential growth of the interest of all his bank accounts...

He was thinking about her. That was that: he wanted Dolly, and he knew why too. He knew he could never have her, so he wanted her. Whenever barriers are put up in front of human beings, it was human nature to try and tear them down. Now, it wasn't like Charles Offdensen was beating at the barrier, screaming and crying for what, or who, was on the other side. He had better things to do. But sometimes, out of the corner of his eye, he would stare at her through the invisible barrier and fantasize about what could happen.

But still, Charles Offdensen is a thinking man, and he tended to think further than just fantasies. What would he do with her after he had her?

He felt like he was a dog chasing a car; what would the dog do with the car if he ever caught it? He wouldn't imagine the two of them diving into a relationship, that was much too complicated and he wouldn't have real time to commit. However, at that point, he couldn't imagine not having her around. Sometimes he felt like a proud father, like when he watched her at the convention. Or sometimes, he felt like a stalker, or a prospective rapist, watching her in her room. But there was always something that made him feel like he couldn't tear himself away from her, and at those and very few other times was Charles Offdensen truly afraid of himself, of what he could do, of what would happen to either of them.

It was the sensation he had never felt before with his other partners, and if what he had with them was love, he could only call his feelings towards Dolly lust. Lust for her, for her mind, her soul, her bones, her flesh, her eyes (though one was gone, he found that extremely charming), her tears, her happiness, her sorrow... It was foreign to him, but at the same time innate and without explanation as to why he felt the way he did. He could only attribute it to human nature, shrug, and continue on with his life...

But he couldn't continue. Not like he used to. He never understood why people let their love lives conflict with all their other lives. But now he did. Thinking about the person you lust after: it makes time come to a stop, and you can only imagine their flesh against yours, melting like putty on a hot day, and it's a thought that captures you entirely.

Charles Foster Offdensen had a very strict daily routine. He ate at the same time every day, exercised at the same time, worked at the same time. He had never missed a meal, a work out, a deadline...

And as soon as he managed to snap himself out of the trance he fell into, he realized that he had missed breakfast.

As Dolly stared at the Mona Lisa, her floppy hat in hand, she couldn't help but see a little Offdensen in her: her quiet, knowing smile, low-lidded eyes, hands folded calmly in her lap. How Leonardo managed to capture such a telling moment was absolutely beyond her.

As Dolly stared, Maggie and Elof talked in hushed voices, the 10 through 16 year olds Elof was watching sitting together nearby, tired and drinking water.

"Hows Dolly doings?" Elof asked.

"Much better than last time she was in Mordhaus. I think since she had time to rediscover herself, she's been holding herself to higher expectations than she used to." Maggie smiled. "She and Mr. Offdensen seem to have become quite close."

Elof downed a discarded glass of wine someone had left from the tour before them, and sighed, "I, like the rest of the worlds, saw and heard the commentarys on that Dethklok Convention. So whats if dey hads a couple drinks togethers? Doesn't means they are 'buddies' or any'ting."

Maggie shook her head, "Au contraire, mon ami. They've always had an odd relationship, but it seems to finally be leveling out. The two of them actually spend time together. She has to make an appointment in order to see him, sure, but apparently they have some very good talks. And you MUST have noticed how much Kenneth looks like Offdensen. My god, they could be twins."

Elof rolled his eyes, "They's both 'Everyman's. They have a very generics looks about dems. "

"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that..."

After the Louvre, Dolly and Maggie treated Elof's 15 charity children to sandwiches and coffee (though some of the younger ones were more partial to milk). They all sat in the park, giggling and having a good time. A couple of the older children were sketching Maggie and Dolly, and presented their finished sketches to them when they had to part ways. The two women were flattered, and Dolly asked if she could keep hers. The 15 year old girl who sketched her agreed, and Dolly returned to her room, a beautiful sketch of her retying her hair into a side ponytail, her eyes down, legs tucked beneath her, big floppy hat to her side.

Klokateers met Dolly and Maggie outside the hotel.

Dolly smiled, "Hello Roth." She said, happy to have committed the way Roth the Klokateer walked to memory. "Time to go already?"

He nodded, "I am afraid so, Miss Dolly. It appears someone has been embezzling money from the company, and while Mr. Offdensen does not suspect you, he has requested all residents of Mordhaus return immediately."

"Fiddlesticks." Dolly said, and then caught herself. "I mean, Jesus fucking Christ." She had gotten used to censoring herself for the children, and hadn't even noticed that she wasn't cursing until Maggie gave her a look.

They returned Maggie to Stockholm, and flew back to Mordhaus. Dolly was dropped off at her room, where she threw all her things onto the bed and was about to sit down, when—

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Nathan's bellow echoed throughout the house, and Dolly knew exactly where they were... two rooms down from her. Her ears rang as she got up and walked the two yards to one of the Mordhaus sitting rooms.

"Gentlemen." She said, her pinky in one of her ears. "I'm going to assume you were just informed of the embezzling issue."

"Dolly, god damn it, if you and your sunny dress and golden cheeks took my fucking money, I will end you." Nathan growled.

Dolly smiled, "Don't worry, I've only been spending the stipend Mr. Offdensen has been so kind to give me each month. Any extra money I don't spend goes right back into Dethklok. I was just informed of the problem as well, and I came back to help suss out a solution."

"Dolly, if I were to say 'Cinnamon buns' to you right now, what would you say?" Pickles shot the question at her.

"I would say... 'Holy shit that's a great idea, I'm going to go get one right now.'" Dolly said.

"If only I weren't too drunk, I could've just made some money off ya." Pickles shook his head and continued muttering 'too drunk, just too drunk...'.

Dolly looked at Offdensen, "Did you actually need my help with anything, or am I here just for decoration?"

Offdensen adjusted his glasses, "Unless you have your PhD in Accounting, you're only as useful as a potted plant."

Dolly laughed, "Ooh, you're mean today. Maybe we can go somewhere else, and I can adjust my petals so I don't clash with the scenery? The least this potted plant can do is help you come up with ideas."

Offdensen nodded, "I'll be in my office."

Offdensen left, and Dolly turned to the five boys. Murderface, the entire time, had been pelvic thrusting with his new diamond-encrusted codpiece. Nathan's wide fist crushed dozens of watches, and Pickles crushed a couple underfoot. Skwisgaar got up and strode over to Dolly.

"You look much better, Skwisgaar." Dolly said, looking the fully healed guitarist over. "That bloated thing did not look good on you."

"Yeahs well... Tanks for sittings wit' me whiles de doctors gave me shots." Skwisgaar muttered under his breath. "I hates dos tings."

Dolly smiled, "Not a problem. It sucks being in pain with no one to hold your hand, I get it."

"Dollys and Skwiiiiisgaar sittings in a tree, K-S-I-M-O-F-E." Toki crooned.

"Toki, what were you trying to spe—?" And then she noticed the green, vibrating dildo he had strapped on. "... Never mind. I don't... Wow. I'm gonna go."

Dolly wandered out, her face in her palm, leaving Toki slanging his new strap-on around. She made a bee-line for Offdensen's office, and knocked.

"Enter."

Dolly opened the door and shut it behind her, "Who would be embezzling from Dethklok?"

Offdensen looked up from the file in front of his, glasses slightly low on his nose. He closed his eyes, sighed, and pushed his glasses back to the bridge of his nose, "I'm beginning to get an idea, but nothing solid. Whoever's doing it, is taking large amounts of money from our accounts in undisclosed locations. As soon as I pinpoint where all of this is happening, I'll be able to get a better idea of who is doing it."

Dolly took off her shoes and put them next to the fireplace, "Has this not happened before? You do have quite a few people who have access to high profile accounts."

"Yes but it's usually obvious who the embezzler is." Offdensen said as Dolly walked over to him. Her toenails shone black, freshly manicured in Paris just hours before. She sat down on the desk and looked down at him as he leaned back and continued to talk. "People have illegally removed money from our accounts and blown it all on lottery tickets or blackjack. Those are easy cases, but wherever these people are blowing the money this time, is not an accredited establishment."

"Are there any new titty bars that just opened up?" Dolly asked.

"Well yes, there's—" Offdensen paused. He quickly reopened the file and looked over the information once more. The withdrawal was made right about the time that the new bar "Girls and Boobs" (a rather unsexy, unsubtle but highly popular name) had opened. The boys had been excited, and had gone more than once per day. Offdensen hadn't realized that they had completely skipped the singles and had gone straight to stuffing hundred dollar bills into stripper thongs.

He sat back and looked at Dolly, "How did you know?"

She smiled, "I figured you would get it pretty soon, but I wanted to get this one."

Offdensen chuckled. Light streamed through the window. It was a beautiful sunny day, Dolly's black toenail polish shining bright in the sunlight. With the last problem of the day solved in record time, all that was left was the Employee Evaluation Conference Conference and Raffle.

"We have about 30 minutes before the Conference Conference begins... Did you want to get some coffee before we start?" Offdensen asked.

Dolly smiled and shook her head, "I'm going to go change before I head over to the... Ballroom 7, right?"

"Yes. Don't be late."

Dolly nodded, and left the room. Clouds soon drifted in the way of the light, and the room darkened. Offdensen put away the file, and punched a couple numbers into the keypad on his phone.

"Number 2, tell 4, 5 and 8 to meet in the basement after the Conference Conference. I need to blow off some steam."

The clock struck 7:01, and Dolly cursed, pulling her black boot on over her jeans as she hopped to the door. She would be late, but she could blame it on someone. All the Klokateers were at the meeting, and the usually busy halls were empty and quiet. Underneath her, Dolly could hear the grumble of the slow rotating gears grinding against each other in the underbelly of Mordhaus. She had been down there once before, seen the massive gears working. It was awe-inspiring, but she hadn't thought about that time in over a year, and it made her shudder. She had lost her eye that day, but gained so much.

The flat sole of her boot squeaked on the floors beneath her as she jogged towards Ballroom number... 5? 9?

... 7.

It was 7.

She laughed; didn't want to be even more late because her short term memory suck-

She heard someone at the other end of the hall. A Klokateer was going in the wrong direction, towards Ballroom 4.

"Excuse me!" She called. He came to a quick stop and turned to face her. She jogged up to him, "You're going the wrong way, the ballroom is to your—"

Quick as a flash, he gripped the knife at his side and took a swing at her. It barely missed, but she crashed to the ground, right on her hip. It didn't take another second before she was back on her feet and booking it down the closest hallway. He could hear him coming after her; he was angry, heaving with rage. Offdensen had warned her about this: either he was a Klokateer gone mad or an assassin disguised as a Klokateer. In any case, she was in trouble, and he was gaining on her.

"HEEELP!" She screamed, skidding and turning another corner. Ballroom 7 was back the way she came, but that was where he was coming from. Dolly quickly hopped over one more corner, where a row of doors leading to various janitor closets were laid out. She quickly jumped into one, quietly closed to door, and hid behind a trashcan. She heard him running by the door, and didn't waste any time taking her chance and running in the opposite direction.

She made it to the ballroom, where thousands of people were there specifically to help her. She wrapped her hands around the door handle, the blood pulsing in her ears deafening her to the pounding footsteps that followed her, and with all her strength she pulled...

click

... Locked.

The door was locked.

Dolly's eye widened so much she feared her skin would tear. She looked back and saw the menacing figure at the end of the hallway, and she bolted to her left, to the only place she could imagine being safe otherwise: Offdensen's office. Her legs burned, the soles of her feet were sore, and her breath was beginning to labor. Adrenaline commanded her limbs as she ran and grabbed hold of the handle to Offdensen's office, gravity slingshotting her forward as the sinews in her arm tore. She sucked in air through her teeth, gripped her eyes shut and pulled...

It opened!

She quickly threw herself into the room, running to his desk and rummaging through it to find the gun he had leant her all those years ago. He always kept one in case of emergencies, and Dolly considered her predicament quite an emergency...

"... Number 216!" Offdensen read off the number on the raffle ticket. The midget 216 pelvic trusted his way onto the stage, taking his prize and boasting "Suck it, bitches!" before strapping it on and pelvic thrusting his merry way back into the crowd.

"Thank you for attending and participating in this years Employee Evaluation Conference Conference and Raffle. Please enjoy the beverages and return to your duties. Thank you." The crowd cheered as Dethklok and Offdensen left the stage. The doors to the ballroom were unlocked and the six of them walked out.

"What happened to Dolly? I thchought were we going tcho make her wear the codpiesche..." Murderface asked, drifting into a fantasy that it was Dolly pelvic thrusting with the codpiece and not the midget.

"I suppose she was busy." Offdensen replied, though a little annoyed himself. He returned to his office, to find...

"Hm. No wonder you didn't make the ah... Conference Conference."

Dolly sat in his chair, her hair draped across the back as she finished off the bottle of brandy. She was sprinkled with blood, though her fists were drenched in the stuff. She lifted her head, her bad eye bruised just next to the scar. She smiled, dropping the gun on the table, its magazine spent.

"He attacked me. There's a very interesting watch on his wrist, if you wanted to take a look at it. While I refuse to apologize for shooting him nine times, I will apologize for the blood on the rug." She said, voice hoarse from screaming.

"Are you alright?" Offdensen asked, bypassing the body completely. She was acting cool, but he could feel her hands shake as he took the bottle from her.

"I'm fine. I'm not dead, so I consider that fine." She said. Without anything to grip, Dolly grasped her knees so tightly that she drew blood. Offdensen knew that feeling, and slowly took her hands in his.

"Let me get someone to take this body out of here, and then you can tell me what happened." He said slowly, looking her in the eye. She took a breath and nodded, squeezing his hands in hers.

And naturally, as if he had been doing it for years, even though he thought he had quashed all of his emotional instinct a long time ago, Offdensen wrapped his arm around her shoulders and kissed her forehead. Her shaking stopped, her heartbeat calmed, and Offdensen stepped outside of the office to make a few calls.

"The black eye? No, he didn't hit me. If he had, there would be less bruising and more... brains." Dolly said. She and Offdensen were sitting in big, comfortable chairs in front of his fireplace, brandies in hand. It was late, but they were still up talking.

"I was just stupid. After I finished the magazine, he was still moving. So I went over to him to stomp on his face until he stopped breathing, but I slipped in blood and bashed my face on the mantelpiece." She chuckled.

Offdensen smiled a little. Dolly, while unaccustomed with killing someone, was very aware of death in Mordhaus and was more prepared to actually kill than anyone normal that Offdensen could have imagined. Her feet were tucked underneath her, the brandy shimmering in her glass.

"You ah... did a good job, staying alive." Offdensen said, pouring himself a fifth glass of brandy. His eyesight started to become a little muddy. "I always knew you could take care of yourself, but clearly you can do more than just that."

Dolly lit up with a smile, "I can kill more people, if that makes you happy."

Offdensen shook his head, "I wouldn't make you do that. I employ people who are already unstable to do that sort of thing for me. I wouldn't want to put you in more dangerous positions. You've already proven yourself."

Dolly's smile went from bright and toothy, to small and thankful. "I don't feel like moving... Is it alright if I sleep in this chair tonight?"

"It's fine. However, I have a previous engagement I must get to... Would you like me to call for Number 63?"

Dolly shook her head, "Roth was hoping to win the diamond codpiece, so he's probably pretty upset right now... I think I'm okay. I'll just get some sleep and go back to things as normal in the morning."

Offdensen nodded his head, and moved towards the door...

"... Charles?"

He turned, "Ah... Dolly?"

"... Thank you."

"You're welcome."