Gaz pulled on Zim's arm as they headed for the elevator. "Hey, it might be better if Dib didn't know I was here. I'm not in the mood to deal with his stupidity."
"Agreed, but I don't want to talk to him either," Zim whined.
"He's your friend. You get to see him when you choose. I have to live with him," she replied, pushing him toward the elevator. "And it's your house. Unless you want to pretend like you're not home. Either way, do something before those idiot parents of yours let him in."
"What are you going to do in the meantime?"
Gaz shrugged. "I dunno, play with Gir or something. Have fun."
He let her have the final word this time. "Stupid female," he grumbled under his breath as he ascended to the kitchen. Even from there he could hear Dib's insane monologue coming through the door.
"ZIM! I know you're in there! Let me in! Quick, before anyone else stops to stare at me as I scream! ZIIIM!" Dib pounded frantically on the door.
Zim slowed his pace considerably, allowing the Dib-worm to torture himself for a few seconds longer. He wrenched the front door open when he reached it and promptly burst into a maniacal fit of laughter. "What happened to you? Get into a fight with a box of Crayola markers?" Zim snickered.
Dib glowered at the alien. "Shut it before I cut you open." He stepped over the threshold and slammed the door quickly. "Do you have any type of soap that might get this stuff off?"
"Perhaps." Zim led Dib to the kitchen, attempting to muffle his chuckles. "Did you break up with Lisa or something?"
"No. No, of course not. Gaz had some weird mood swing and decided to take her temper out on me. Again. I didn't even do anything!" Dib lied. Zim narrowed his eyes as a flash of rage swelled and receded in a matter of nanoseconds.
"Gaz wouldn't do such a thing without being provoked," Zim pointed out as he pretended to rummage through the cabinets.
"You know how she is," Dib complained. "She was even recording me on my own computer!"
Zim grinned in victory as he found a liquid solution beneath the sink. He held it behind his back as he turned to face the human annoyance standing before him. "I'm rather surprised to see you here at all, Earth stink. You have been hostile toward me ever since I first attempted to be nice to your sister, and you have given no good reason for doing so. You're lucky I let you in my house at all."
"Well…I…I'm just worried. You're an alien, and she's a human."
"Ah, your capacity for stating the painfully obvious never ceases to amaze me," Zim said dryly. He thrust the jug of liquid at Dib. "Take it, and be gone, you miserable excuse for a human." He felt an unusual surge of rage toward the Dib-stink and the intolerance for his and Gaz's…friendship. He shook his head and blamed his feelings on his broken PAK.
Dib followed the alien to the door and berated himself mentally. Zim was the best friend he had ever had, and now he was throwing that away because of his own stupidity. He thanked the alien and left, heading for his house.
Dib's unrelenting self-guilt-trip reached its peak as he washed with the odd liquid that he assumed was alien disinfectant. He looked in the mirror to find that all of the markings were gone. Despite how mean and unfair he was being, Zim had still helped him out. Perhaps it was time to tell Zim the truth as to why he didn't want them around one another.
He called Zim on the phone, who immediately initiated the conversation by stating, "I am a normal human worm baby."
"Zim, it's Dib. I want to apologize for how I've been acting toward you."
There was a pause on the other end followed by a, "Go on."
Dib began to speak with renewed enthusiasm. "Well, you see, I thought that by keeping Gaz away from you, she would try even harder to be friends with you. With the information she gathers on your habits and such, I was going to try to get her to lash out at Lisa and see what happens."
Zim was rather confused. "You were attempting to have Gaz befriend me by forbidding both of us to see one another? So that she would study me and go after Lisa? Is that what you're saying? If so, then you are much more insane than I ever gave you credit for."
"Erm, well, you see…I think Lisa is an alien." There. The truth was out.
"Lisa? An alien?" Zim paused. "She is most intolerable, yes, but to accuse her of being an alien is an insult! And how would Gaz dooming her prove such a thing in the first place?"
"She knows how you act when you're upset or threatened or angry, so I figure get her to start pushing Lisa's buttons the right way and either Gaz will realize that I'm right for a second time, or Lisa will somehow reveal herself to me," Dib stated, grinning madly at the discussion of his genius plan.
"What kind of logic is that?" Zim demanded, then silenced himself as a new thought popped into his head. "So you aren't against Gaz and I being friends?"
"No, of course not! Well, maybe a little bit. I found you first. Besides, she'll probably end up destroying you, and without Lisa revealed, I won't ever be famous for finding an alien and befriend it!"
Zim wasn't sure whether to be relieved or disturbed. "Um, I shall take this as a token of our renewed friendship, however I think I hear the robot parents yelling my wonderous name…YOU'RE INSANE!' Zim shouted and slammed the phone down. He looked around the living room as if in a daze. It seemed that he and the Earth-stink were back to being friends. He pulled a label out of his pocket and studied it.
He almost felt bad about giving Dib the bottle of Temporarily Permanent Marker Laminate Protector (protecting agents seal the color in and make it more vibrant, ensuring that your marker marks will remain where they are looking just like new for up to 28 washes! Do not get in eyes, do not ingest; if not happy with product results return in 24 hours to get your monies back. Directions: Wash areas where you wish the ink to remain somewhat permanently. Let sit for up to 2 minutes. Rinse and repeat. Also try our moisturizing after-protector gel!).
Perhaps he should get out of the habit of peeling the labels off of bottles.
He headed downstairs to find Gaz, who had fallen asleep in a wheelchair Zim kept stashed around different areas of the base for when he was feeling particularly lazy. He smirked as he watched her shift into a seemingly more comfortable position. He crept closer to the unconscious girl and put his face close to hers. He contemplated kissing her where she had forbidden him to do so, but he feared her wrath more than most things. Perhaps later, if he could find a way to restrain her. Instead he put his mouth close to her ear and shouted "Rise and shine, little Earth child!"
She screamed as she was startled awake and punched at her supposed enemy in reflex. He fell backwards, clutching his sore jaw. "Zim, do that again and I will dismember you," she threatened in a cold tone. She glanced around and stretched. "Where's Dib? Did he leave?"
"Um, yes. Yes he did." Zim relayed the events that had occurred to her and she rolled her eyes.
"Figures he would only date a girl in the hopes of proving she's an alien. Maybe he's not as rational as I had thought he was becoming." She eyed Zim suspiciously. "Why did you sound so guilty about giving Dib something to help wash the marker off?"
Zim silently held out the peeled label from the bottle. Her eyes widened in surprise and she couldn't help but pounce on the alien in glee, wrapping her arms about his shoulders tightly. "Zim, you're a genius! He's going to be so furious when he wakes up for school tomorrow!" Zim patted the top of her head, grinning both at the proud feeling she invoked within him at her words of praise, and at the fact that she was willingly touching him in a way not meant to harm.
"I am glad that you approve," he said and she tilted her head up to look at him. Her eyes narrowed as she realized the position they were in. She started to crawl backward to help him up, but he cupped his clawed hand behind her head, at the base of her neck. She knew what he was going to do, but couldn't form any sort of protest to stop him. She smirked and tweaked an antenna as their lips met. It was short and chaste, but oddly sweet.
Gaz pulled away and eyed Zim, wary of the explode-y feeling in her chest. He was smiling like an idiot. Which he is, she thought dryly, but it's kind of…cute. He frowned suddenly. "That was certainly not how they do it on television!"
"No. But maybe it was better. For now," she decided. He nodded his agreement.
"Yes, besides you humans are…what is it? Seventy percent water? Water is toxic to me, if you haven't noticed. Your drool may wound me." He recognized the I'm-beginning-to-want-to-hurt-you look and added defensively, "I am not a fan of pain, unless I am inflicting it upon someone else. But I can research your human makeup and see if I shall die from…kissing…you as they do on television."
She shrugged, relaxing once again. "Well you can research it all you want, I guess. No guarantee we'll do that again though."
To prove her wrong he brushed his lips with hers once more; he also wanted to get her riled up. It was amusing. She glared at him and bit the arm attached to the hand still planted on her neck. Gaz smirked as he howled in mock pain. He studied her for a few seconds before his lips stretched into a grin once again.
"Even though you just bit me, which was uncalled for, this whole thing feels good to me. How we interact with one another. It makes me…um, it makes me…" He broke off, trying to come up with a word accurate enough to describe his emotion.
"Happy? Content, maybe?" she suggested helpfully and snickered as he nodded his head rapidly.
"Yeeesssss. Yes. Happy." His squeedly spooch felt as though it was twisting itself into painful knots when he caught her smiling at him. Perhaps Dib had been right; maybe 'happy' was an illness. Oh well, he would be happy to suffer through it for her.
"I'm going home now. I want to see Dib's reaction to the protector of marker junk you gave him." She ran a hand affectionately over an antenna, and left. He closed his eyes and purred to himself as the lingering effects of her touch played out in his body.