11. Angel, "Better" (song by Plumb)
He knew he had to do it…but it didn't make it any easier. It didn't mean he could do it without pain, without guilt…without rapid thought that there might be another way, though he knew very well that there wasn't. this was how it had to be.
Angel had stood, firm and unyielding, as he told Buffy that he no longer wanted to be with her- a lie, as necessary as it was, of such magnitude that he was astonished she could not see through it to the anguish just below the surface of his eyes. He had watched her eyes widen, brimming with tears, her eyebrows slanting downward as she trembled, her voice small and young…and he told himself that it was what had to be. If he loved her- and god, how Angel loved her- then he would do this for her…to protect her. To give her the life he would never be able to give her, the life he would always darken by his presence at her side, in her arms…in her heart.
After everything he had walked away, as he had promised, leaving with no goodbyes. It was better that way…what he was doing was better, the best he could do for Buffy.
Then why did he still wish he could take it back, take her into his arms…damn the consequences, even if it damned them both?