"Gibbs would have …."
"Would have what, Tony?" Ziva pushed although she was still shaken from Abby's sudden and quiet departure from the room several moments ago.
"I don't know. Don't remember what I was gonna say." Tony admitted.
"What's going on?" Gibbs asked as he stepped into the room. He glanced over at his wounded agent and frowned. Stepping over to bed, he took a minute to scrutinize the young man lying there. Where those tears on Tim's face? What the hell had happened while he and Ducky had been trying to force themselves to eat a decent meal?
"He's still out of it, Boss." Tony offered quietly.
Looking back at his two agents just standing there like guilty statues, he nearly growled at them, his anger rising so quickly. "Wait for me out in the hall."
Watching Tim sleep as Tony and Ziva did as he'd ordered, Gibbs listened for the sound of the closing door; all he needed to hear, Leaning down to be close to the young man's ear, Gibbs whispered. "I'm proud of you, You did good. Now you gotta hang in there. You don't have permission to let go. Not for this, Son. You were there to help me hang on. Now I'm gonna be here for you, McGee.
Tony and Ziva watched through the window to Tim's room, in silent fascination as Gibbs appeared to be whispering something to their teammate.
Straightening up, Gibbs turned and walked out to the hall "You two, with me." He ordered with the quiet steel that promised he was pissed about something.
As they followed him away from Tim's room, Ducky returned, his arm supportively around Abby's shoulder. "Come, my dear. Timothy may not wake until this afternoon, but he will need to have someone here for him whenever the time arrives that he does rejoin us. Why don't we both wait together?" he gently suggested.
"I'm sorry, Ducky. I don't mean to be such a baby about this. "Abby worried; her eyes puffy and red from crying and naked of the normally present mascara. The morning hadn't been conducive to wearing it and it was long lost courtesy of the tears that she had cried in the past few hours.
"Abigail. Do not talk such nonsense. It is perfectly understandable not to be comfortable around those you feel are keeping something important from you regarding someone you care about. In time, when the shock has worn off and things begin to become more clear for all involved, perhaps then, all that needs to be said will come out.
"But they both look so guilty. Why would they be guilty if Tim…"
"Sssh, my dear Now is not the time to worry about such things. Besides, I'm sure Jethro will get to the bottom of it. Come, sit over here and rest. It may be quite a while before our friend awakens."
***NCIS***
Silently leading the way down the hall and into an unused hospital room, Gibbs shut the door behind them and turned to his agents. "Somebody better tell me what the hell just happened in there."
"Boss, I'm not sure what you…."
"Gibbs, I do not know what…"
"If I didn't know any better, I'd say one of you shot McGee yourself." Gibbs bit out angrily and glared at them both.
"What?"
"Gibbs!
"Why would you say that Boss?"
Gibbs raised his eyebrows and pointed to his team members. "You sure as hell look guilty enough. Even Abby thinks you did."
"What?"
"Why would she thi…" They were both cut off by Gibbs raising his hand and stopping them from going any further with their train of thought.
"Dunno. Why would the two of you stand around in McGee's room wearing your guilt like a damn prized shirt? Sounds like it was an easy assumption to make. Just like DiNozzo here telling me that McGee was still out of it, when he obviously woke up at some point and neither of you even noticed." Gibbs was practically growling now, he was so pissed. "There a reason you couldn't keep your eyes on your injured teammate enough to realize he'd woken up and might need to hear that he wasn't alone or a see friendly face to let him know what was going on?"
"Wait, how can you tell that Pr… Ow!" Tony rubbed the back of his head now that he'd just been given a sharp smack.
"You tell me, DiNozzo! what would have given you the clue?" The Team Leader bit out.
"Oh, Damn." Tony let out in complete anger and frustration at his own behavior. No wonder Gibbs was pissed. He has every right to be."
Gibbs, I am so…"
"Don't. I don't wanna that out of either of you. I'm only gonna say this once. Whatever this is; you'd better deal with it and fast because neither or you are allowed to step foot in McGee's room again until you do. Are we clear?"
Tony and Ziva looked at each other and then down at the floor at their own feet before Ziva sat down while Tony glanced at Gibbs but began pacing restlessly.
"Yes, Boss."
"Yes, Gibbs."
Both agents looked abashed and ashamed of their actions though neither one could quite let go of the guilt that they felt. Gibbs eyed them warily.
"Something I need to know? I may have been a little out of it back at the scene but from where I'm standin'…"
Tony looked at him guiltily. He needed someone to tell him he was right; that he'd screwed up; but more than that, he needed the boss to let him go. He'd screwed up and that was all there was to it. Huffing out a deep breath of nerve and frustration, Tony geared up to let it all out
"Boss, maybe you'd better sit down."
****NCIS****
"Ducky, your phone is buzzing." Abby pointed to his hip where the phone holder was vibrating; the noise barely discernable.
"Well, so it is. It's a wonder you can hear that my dear, with all that bone jarring noise you listen to on a regular basis." Ducky smiled as he got up from his chair. "I'll just be a moment."
"I'm fine. I know we've been in here for at least an hour, just watching him sleep, but I want to be here when Timmy finally wakes up." She replied firmly.
"As do I, my dear. Let me go take care of this and I will be right back." Ducky left the room and checked his phone to find what he'd gotten was a voicemail from Gibbs who'd only been gone a mere thirty minutes.
"Duck. Need you for a minute. Room 305.."
Having phrased it the way he did, Ducky knew that whatever Jethro needed was not an emergency, but it was evidently important enough to pull him away from Timothy's bedside, leaving Abby there to await Timothy's waking by herself. Since the Team Leader was aware of this, whatever this was had to be almost urgent and so Ducky stuck his head back inside the door to Tim's room and told Abby he'd be back after he checked on the others.
Smiling to herself at the beloved M.E.'s unfailing dedication to the team, Abby turned back around to watch her Timmy sleep. She was grateful for this time alone with him, even if she couldn't help but remain frightened of seeing him this inanimate. The years had been kind to her in terms of this man in front of her. He'd always been there for her, through thick and thin and despite everything that she had done, Tim had never once turned his back on her, no matter how badly she'd acted or hurt him. Wow, where did that thought come from?Blinking away the unexpected tears, Abby heaved out a sigh of sadness.
Who was she kidding; she'd been downright bitchy and horrible to Tim at least a half-dozen times over the years and had always gotten a free pass at the end of the day every time and not just from Tim. Now that she thought about it, often times she'd gotten what amounted to two free passes for her behavior and so had never even thought to change it. She couldn't even understand why her mind had made this trip down memory lane at her own expense. But, now that she was on this road, she couldn't seem to turn back or even change direction.
Suddenly, she found herself needing to use both her hands to hold her weary head up, she gently laid Tim's hand back down on the bed and moved to the chair near the bed, facing him, since Tim wouldn't be a wake for quite a while yet, Abby rested her head on her hands where they locked together on her drawn up knees, her thoughts coming back once more, to all that she'd done that she shouldn't have and all that she'd not done that she should have. Soon she was lost in a sea of memories, many of them not pleasant.
****NCIS****
"I can't change what happened or the decisions you made back there in that warehouse. But, if you can't put it away, then I don't want you anywhere near McGee." Gibbs spoke for the first time since Tony and Ziva had spilled their guts to him, knowing he was right and it had to come out.
"That sounds a bit harsh, Jethro." Ducky advised as he stepped into the room and into the middle of their discussion.
"Can't have them wearing their guilt on their sleeve around McGee, Duck. He picks up on stuff like that. He doesn't need any of this and knowing Tim, he'll find some way of turning it around and making it his fault before he even has time to think it through himself."
"No, he certainly does not need that. However, perhaps we should talk this through. What is it exactly that seems to be the problem?
"How's McGee?" Gibbs interrupted.
"Still sleeping restfully. Abby's with him."
Gibbs nodded his understanding. Stepping into Tony's personal space, he spoke quietly to him, keeping his tone full of steel, the warning unmistakable. "And whatever the hell you've been pissed at McGee for these past two months, better be settled and gone by the time you leave this room, too. DiNozzo."
Tony's eyes grew wide with surprise. "Boss, how'd. y…"
Gibbs stepped back and glared warningly at him until Tony capitulated and nodded in understanding of the order. Turning to glance at the long silent Ziva, Gibbs raised his eyebrow at her in silent question of where her head was at now and she too nodded at him in agreement of the order she'd been given.
"Okay, Duck. They're all yours. Don't let 'em leave this room with any of it, will ya?" Gibbs asked almost conversationally as he glanced at his long time friend and exchanged small smiles of expected positive results before he headed toward the door. Stopping in his tracks, he whispered to Ducky.
"Might be a good time to tell them not to mention McGee's folks."
"Ah, yes. Good idea, Jethro." Ducky murmered as he patted his friend on the arm as the younger of the two stepped back and continued on to the door, closing it behind him with a decisive snap.
*****NCIS*****
Again with the light! At least this time, it's a lot closer and I don't feel so tired. There it is, I made it!
He opened his eyes once more, this time, taking the time to blink several times before he attempted to look around as far as he could without moving his head. While he felt less exhausted than before, he was still more tired than he could ever remember being before winding up here. Here. Where was here again? Why was he here? Abby! Why is she looking so broken and sad? Oh, God, that's right! Gibbs! Wait, hadn't Gibbs spoken to him earlier? What was he'd said?
"Everything's okay, son. I'm proud of you. You did good. Now you gotta hang in there. You were there to help me hang on. Now I'm gonna be here for you, McGee. You don't have permission to let go. Not for this, Son."
Closing his eyes against the light in the room and the pain rising back up in his heart, his breathing hitched on a strangled sob as tears once again slipped down his face. How could he hang on when Gibbs was gone because Tim had failed at his job? The man was reaching out from the other side to help him hold on? He didn't deserve it; it was his fault the man was dead!
Weakly, he grasped the blanket that covered him, fisting it in anquish as the wave of both physical pain from his injuries and heart felt pain of losing Gibbs; of not being able to save him, of his mentor's death being his fault nearly smothered him whole. Thankfully, it was only a moment before the darkness beckoned and with a sigh of pained relief, he succumbed to sleep once more.
Abby didn't know what had brought her out of her reviere, but as she looked over at her still sleeping Timmy, her heart broke at the sight of tears on his face. Moving closer to the bed, she leaned over and gently wiped them away, cooing to him softly. "It's okay, Timmy. I know you're hurting right now. Let's get the nurse to give you more meds okay? I'll be right back, I promise." Quickly she got up and went to the nurse's station and relayed Tim's need for more pain medication.
"Abby." Gibbs called to her as he saw her at the nurse's station outside Tim's room.
"Hey, Gibbs. Is everything okay? I mean you've been gone for like two hours."
"Only been 90 minutes, Abbs. Needed to stretch my legs and get coffee. How about McGee? Why are you out here and not in his room making sure he doesn't wake up alone?"
"I'm sorry, Gibbs. I blew it." She admitted with a crestfallen expression strewn across her face and tears in her eyes.
"Spit it out, Abby."
"I got to thinking about my relationship with Timmy through the years and I guess I got lost in my thoughts. I never saw him wake up. I'm sorry. But when I finally cleared my head, I noticed…." She trailed off, too upset at herself to go on.
"Don't make me ask you again." Gibbs growled at her.
"I noticed he'd been crying, like he was in pain. But, he was already asleep again. So I just came out here to ask the nurses to give him more medication."
"I'm sorry. Agent McGee's next dose of pain medication isn't due for another fifteen minutes." The closest nurse to them broke in.
"He's still asleep?" Gibbs asked Abby.
"He was when I came out here a few minutes ago." Abby answered quietly.
"He should be okay until his next dose then." The nurse offered sympathetically. "Just don't wake him and I'll be in there when it's time."
"Okay." Abby replied sadly, hating the fact that Tim was having to feel any pain at all. None of this should have happened. She hated every bit of it.
"C'mon, Abbs, let's go keep McGee company. He's woken up twice without anyone noticing and
I'll be damned if it's gonna happen again." Gibbs stated firmly as he put his around her shoulder and propelled her back toward Tim's room.
"What? Twice? Gibbs? That can't be right! When was the first time?" Abby asked sadly.
"Doesn't matter. What matters is that it doesn't happen again."
"Don't worry. It won't." Abby declared firmly as she walked back to Tim's room as quickly as
Gibbs was walking; both of them quick to look him over as they took their seats on either side of his bed, neither of them taking their eyes off of him.
***NCIS***
Ducky returned to Tim's room alone some thirty minutes later. Gibbs' eyebrows went up and his face soon became a picture of anger as he stood from his chair and approached his M.E. "Duck? Does this mean what I think it means?"
"They've gone to get something to eat, Jethro. They need to talk and finding the time to do so while they make sure to feed their bodies will solve both problems. Don't fret. They will work this out for themselves and they will not bring it in here. Of that, I am certain."
"Thanks, Duck."
"You're quite welcome my friend." Now, when is the last time you have stepped foot outside this hospital?"
"Not goin' anywhere."
Together, they took up chairs on either side of the sleeping young man while Abby took a break, trusting the two mentors in her life to be there for her injured friend. Silently, they took to watching him sleep. It wasn't long before Gibbs was dozing, his shortened amount of sleep finally catching up to him.
"Excuse me, Agent Gibbs?" The friendly nurse from earlier touched him on the shoulder as she quietly spoke to him,
"Yeah?" Gibbs muttered as he wiped his hand across his face to clear away the sleep.
"There's a Sarah McGee on the phone for you at the nurse's station. Agent McGee's sister, I believe?"
"Yeah. Thanks." Gibbs offered as he stood from the chair and flexed his back and rolled his neck before following the nurse back to the phone. How the hell had he managed to just sleep for, what time is it? two hours?
"Yeah. Gibbs."
"Agent Gibbs. I hate to bother you, but do you think…is there any way… "
"Sarah. Whatever you need to ask, just ask it."
"Do you have someone who can come pick me up so I can come visit my brother? My car won't start and I'm a bit stranded I mean, Tim usually… and I…"
"Where are you? I'll have someone come get you."
" Highway 50, just past exit 31 in Silver Spring."
"Okay. Someone'll be there to pick you up shortly."
"Thank you, Agent Gibbs."
"It's not a problem, Sarah. Just hang tight." Gibbs ended the call and returned to his agent's room, coming to stand next to Ducky as they watched Abby from Gibbs' vacated chair, cradle Tim's hand in her own and smooth her thumb across the surface of his hand repeatedly, almost as if she was calming herself by the motion.
"Duck, I'll be back in thirty. Keep an eye on things." Gibbs quietly told the older man.
"Certainly, Jethro." Ducky offered. "How will you drive with that injured shoulder?"
"Not the one I use to drive with, Duck. I'll be fine." Gibbs headed out, hoping everything would be better by the time he got back.
***NCIS***
Tony and Ziva, contrary to Ducky's belief, hadn't talked about anything during their brunch. They did, however, manage to agree that sitting by Tim's bedside while he slept would not help either of them or McGee. With a short text message sent to Ducky, Tony let it be known that he and Ziva were going back to work, needing to be doing something, even if it was the drudgery of paperwork or worse, working on cold cases. They would visit with Tim once he'd woken up.
Besides, Tim didn't need an entire room full of people sitting around just watching him sleep. What kind of scare would that give him, waking up to a crowd staring at him while he woke up? Ugh! Tony shuddered as that last thought ran through his mind. No, he definitely wasn't going to feed into that and make things worse for Probie as he came back to them once again.
***NCIS***
Even the drive back to the Navy Yard was completed in silence. Neither seemed able to rise above the guilt that had settled in their hearts. By this time, it seemed to be so thick in the air around them that they felt as though they were cloaked in it. Truth be told, it was so bad that the atmosphere around them changed even as they reached the squad room and everyone around them could feel the tension rolling off of them. Finally, Tony couldn't stand it any longer. He had to say something.
"Ziva. You know McGee would hate this, right? He'd hate that we're lettin' this work us over like this."
"I agree, Tony. However, that does not change the facts as they are. It does not take it away" Ziva replied softly.
"No argument there. Still think we need to listen to Gibbs and Ducky though."
"Why is it you are just saying this now? Gibbs said what he had to say on this well over two hours ago and Ducky not long after that." The softness was replaced by an impatience that made Tony flinch slightly.
"Yeah. I know." Tony breathed out. "Maybe I just needed to wear it for a while before it finally sunk in how much Probie would hate this."
"Be that as it may, Tony. It does not mean that the responsibility I bear in this is not there any longer."
"I know. Me either. But, let's just put it down for now, alright? At least let's get some work done so Probie's not stuck doing a boatload of paperwork or cold cases when he gets back."
"Agreed."
"Hey, guys! How's Tim?" Palmer asked as he walked through the squad room on his way from one elevator to the next.
"Palmer. What brings our resident gremlin out of his dungeon?" Tony joked half-heartedly in an effort to seriously do as he'd just told Ziva they needed to.
"Funny. Yeah, I was actually just looking for an update on Tim. I didn't want to disturb anyone at the hospital. I mean it's not like they can keep their cell phones on anyway, but I sti…"
"Palmer! We get it. McSleepy hasn't woken up yet. They just pulled him off the stuff keepin' him under a little while ago." Tony blew his steam at Jimmy's propensity for running on when he was nervous.
"Oh. Well, that's great." Jimmy's grin and relief was palpable and he stood there silently silently sending up a prayer of thanks for the good news.
"What is great, Jimmy?" Ziva asked calmly.
"The doctors taking Tim off the meds that are keeping him sedated. That's real progress. He should be waking up sometime today, if not first thing tomorrow morning."
"I agree. That is very good."
"Guess we can't ask for better news than that just yet. So, whattaya say we get crackin' on this work so we can cut loose when he's awake?" Tony looked at Ziva.
Ziva nodded at him and got back to her work while Jimmy bid them goodbye and headed out.
Tony looked around the squad room and sighed. Damn, he couldn't wait until the team was back together again