Snow flurried around their heads, burrowing underneath their scarfs and chilling them to the bone. The ice crunched as the third years walked, and they chattered excitedly as they hurried down the brick pathway.

Sirius leaned over, ripped Remus's hat off of his head, and pulled it down over his own eyes. Remus made a lunge for the hat, but Sirius scuttled out of his reach. Remus snatched it back, shaking the snowflakes from his mousy-brown hair. He shoved the Gryffindor hat back down on his head, laughing. Everyone was clearly in high spirits.

Today would be the third years' second trip to Hogsmeade (James, Remus, Sirius, and Peter had missed the first due to detention- James had practiced the Bat-Bogey hex on Snape, and McGonagall had decided that they shouldn't go with the group). Remus had heard the others talking about the shops last time, and had listened in fascination as they raved about them. He couldn't have been happier to actually be going.

Lily walked in front of them, her red hair peeking out from underneath her cap. James grinned, than reached forward and tapped her on the shoulder.

"What, Potter?" Lily said, a hint of irritation present in her voice.

"So, how about you join me for a butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks?" James said, ruffling his jet-black hair.

"Not a chance." Lily said, turning away from James and walking back to Alice.

"She'll say yes next time," said James, his crestfallen expression quickly replaced with an excited one. Remus seriously doubted that she would, but didn't voice this.

Remus pulled his scarf tighter around his neck, jogging to keep up with the others. The cold wind was biting on his lungs, but cooled the scratch that outlined his jawbone.

The group turned the corner, and Hogsmeade suddenly came into full view.

Hogsmeade was a quaint little wizarding town, with identical cottages lining the cobblestone roads. Shops were woven in and out of streets, with bright advertisements brightening the otherwise bland color scheme. Remus wished that his mother could be here, for he knew that she would be utterly speechless at this clear example of wizardry. Behind them, mountains obscured the horizon, but gave the sense that this was a secure community. Snow covered the shop roofs, bathing the village in reflected sunlight. It was a very beautiful place.

Remus gasped as they turned a corner, and a battered house came into view. It was about a mile away, but Remus was positive on what it was.

It was his house. The place that he went when he was dangerous. There was no way to conceal the smashed windows, the horror that radiated out of the house's very existence. He was sure that his face was a mask of fright, and carefully rearranged his expression before anyone could question him. It's just a house, he tried to tell himself. It wouldn't bite.

Beside him, Lily whispered, "That's the Shrieking Shack! It's supposed to be the most haunted building in Britain!"

Remus knew that Dumbledore had spread rumors around the village, telling the people that the new house was cursed with violent spirits. Remus was sure that this was just to conceal the traumatic noises that came from that house during his transformation. He knew that he should be glad that they clearly didn't have any idea what really was going on, but he found that he just couldn't make himself.

He glanced over to his friends, only to see that each of their expressions where carefully concealed behind a mask of calm. He had shared the information of where he went during the transformation with them, and he knew that they knew exactly what they were looking at. James caught Remus's eye, than turned away from Lily and the Shrieking Shack.

"Let's go to Honeyduke's, shall we?" James said, giving Peter a look as they left.

Remus scrunched the hat down to his eyebrows, forcing his bangs down into his eyes. He knew that he was unnecessarily wallowing in his own self-pity, and tried to shake off the bad mood. He focused on the ground below him, and was thoroughly surprised when he looked up to see a bright storefront, one that had blaring letters reading, 'Honeydukes'.

The front displayed a large jar of sweets, all of which moved at some point. (Remus usually liked to stay away from moving candy. It was hard to enjoy your chocolate frog if you felt guilty for eating it while it was still squirming.)

Remus followed Frank Longbottom into the store, absent-mindedly holding the door open for Lily as she climbed the wooden steps. He stepped inside the shop, and was immediately hit with a blast of warm air. He stripped off his mittens, and tucked them away before focusing his attention on the many shelves in front of him.

Barrels upon barrels labeled, 'confectionaries' lined the walls, all overflowing with candy and jellies. Over by the back wall, large blue bubbles were flying out of Alice Prewett's mouth as she chewed Droobles Best Blowing Gum. Peter was giggling as he poked a levitating Fizzing Whizbee, and Sirius was carefully sampling a blood-flavored lollipop (Remus couldn't imagine why Sirius wanted to taste this-they were made for vampires, and were supposedly revolting). The shop was crowded with Hogwarts students, and the staff was running around frantically, refilling trays quickly as they ran out.

There was a sharp squeal as a third-year Ravenclaw girl tripped in front of Remus's eyes, spilling her satchel full of golden Galleons. Acting upon instinct, Remus knelt, collecting the coins that had fallen underneath the shelves. The Ravenclaw girl blushed, her blue eyes forgiving. She reached up to tuck a lock of her blond hair back underneath her hat, and smiled at him. Remus couldn't help noticing that she was really quite pretty.

"Sorry, I'm so clumsy. Thank you." She said, retrieving the money from Remus's outstretched hand.

"I'm Mary," She said, reaching out to shake his hand.

"Remus." He said, smiling.

"Have you seen the Ice Mice? They make you squeak!" Mary said, gesturing to the box of sweets that had been mounted to the wall with a grin.

They stood up, and Remus found himself chattering aimlessly about school with her as they walked around the store. They past James and Sirius a few times, but Remus tried to diffuse their mischievousness before it got out of hand. He saw James nudge Sirius and snicker, Remus tried to ignore them. He found that he actually was enjoying himself. Remus took a deep breath, savoring the buzzing, warm feeling that was filling his body.

They walked around the shop for about a half hour, but Mary wanted to leave.

"Ooh, let's go to the Shrieking Shack! I've heard that it's super interesting!" Mary suggested.

Remus froze, feeling his body tense as he stopped. "No. I think I have to go, actually." He said, his face growing warm.

Mary stared at his hateful expression, her eyes searching his. He shifted his gaze to her feet, so she couldn't see the sadness filling his eyes.

"Alrightly, than. I guess I'll see you around, Remus. 'Bye." Mary said.

In an attempt to regain whatever politeness he could, he raised his hand in a pitiful goodbye. She smiled at him, but pushed the door open and entered the blizzard outside.

The moment she disappeared from view, Remus turned away, his breath hitching in his throat. What was he doing? So what, he liked her, but it wouldn't matter. Nothing could ever happen with anyone. He could never lead someone on like that. Remus's mind whirled as he imagined it.

Remus knew that he would never marry, never have children. He couldn't ever damn anyone to the life that he lived. He couldn't do that to a defenseless child. His condition would make him too difficult to ever have a life with. No mother would want their child around him, even if he was the father. Remus would endanger them too much.

What if he passed his sickness onto his own baby? Would they survive the transformation? What if during his own transformation, he somehow got out of his safe room and killed them both? No woman would ever want him, anyway. No one in their right mind would put themselves in such direct danger. He wouldn't let him. He couldn't let himself hurt anyone in that way. So why was he doing this to himself?

He told himself to get over it, and forced himself to keep walking, and to keep his head down. That life was impossible. Sure, he could want it, but he had to accept that it would never happen. The sadness that filled his mind threatened to explode.

He felt something on his shoulder through his coat, and quickly reached up to wipe away any water that had escaped from his eyes. He turned to see James and Sirius standing side-by-side behind him, their arms crossed and identical grins on their faces, waiting for an explanation about Mary.

"So." Sirius said, biting his lip to keep from laughing.

"Shut up." Remus mumbled, chuckling under his breath in spite of his foul mood.

James and Sirius burst into laughter, their howls of joy bouncing of every surface. When they finally surfaced, their eyes filled with tears from laughing, Remus had taken refuge with a book against the wall. He looked up at them, his blue eyes expectant. He had calmed himself, for now.

"Who was that?" James asked, readjusting his glasses.

"Mary. It doesn't matter; nothing's going to happen. Let's go." Remus said, snapping his book shut with a thud.

Remus stalked out of the shop, but his sense of direction was off because of the identical buildings. They all looked the same!

Suddenly, Peter pointed to a small shop, pulling him along with him. Sirius and James followed, wrapping their faces with their scarfs.

They reached the door, and Remus found himself in a tiny pub called the Three Broomsticks. A busty waitress walked around, talking orders from the overflowing tables. The place was full of Hogwarts students.

"Four butterbeers, please." James said to the waitress, who nodded and strode off.

James surveyed the pub, than walked over to an open booth. He sat down, and the rest did too. Remus sat next to James, watching as the waitress delivered their foaming drinks. Remus reached out and chugged his, enjoying the hot liquid as it burned his throat. It was delicious.

He felt a bit better as they joked and laughed, getting ready to go to Zonko's, the joke shop. He wrapped himself back up in his Gryffindor attire, preparing to be cold.

Remus stepped outside, a plan forming in his mind.

"Hey, guys? Do you mind if I meet up with you in a half hour? I don't really feel in the mood to go to Zonko's." Remus said, pointing to another shop across the way.

The boys nodded, then preceded on their way towards the joke shop.

Remus walked over the shop, pulling open the brass doorknob. He took a deep breath, than walked inside, already comforted. He was in an unfamiliar bookstore, one with towering cabinets and thousands of books. Smiling, Remus pulled a book down from the wall and opened it, already looking forward to the next twenty minutes of bliss. He could finally escape the reality that had haunted his mind.

Aw, Remey, you made me cry! Sorry for the downer chapter. Next chapter will be more upbeat, okay? I love you all the same, though, Remus.

Like this chapter? Leave me a review down below. Thank you to everyone who has already reviewed! I love it when you guys do that :P

xx

bandeall