Hi everyone! Well, it's that dark time of year again. I'm starting school tomorrow #hurl but to brighten my week I decided to update so I can read your amazing, wonderful reviews while I suffer through my unbearable classes. I love you all so much and I hope you love me and this chapter okaaay byyyye!

A week later, Jane had someone come over and change the locks on the doors and windows. She wanted Paul to earn his way back if he wanted to. He couldn't just walk in like nothing happened and pick up where he left off. Nate asked her about Paul incessantly and Sam helped her "Paul-proof" the house in every endeavor. She helped put all of his things into the basement and took all of the records from his band to the attic. Nate cried about everything because he knew how close he was to seeing his father, but Jane wouldn't let him.

"Mum, let Daddy in!" Nate begged as he pulled on the doorknob desperately. Paul had been outside knocking for an hour but Jane was busy with her sick daughter. She refused to let him in because he would come over without warning and get the kids riled up. She set Sophie down in the high chair and grabbed her son's arm.

"Nathaniel, stop it!" she said sharply.

"Then let Daddy in!" he shouted.

"Don't yell at me," she said evenly. "I am your mother and what I say goes." He snatched his arm away from her and pulled on the door again. "Nate!"

"I wish you weren't my mum, Jane!" he screamed. Her face fell and her heart broke.

"You do not disrespect me like that and you will not call me by my first name. I am your mother and you're going to have to learn the hard way that I am the boss. Go to your room. Now." He huffed and stormed off, slamming his bedroom door. She shook her head tiredly. "What's gotten into my son who used to be so good?" The baby was crying loudly as Paul banged on the door and Sam followed like Jane's shadow. She was quickly becoming overwhelmed.

"Jane, come on, open the door! It'll help him to see me," Paul said.

"Mum, what's for lunch?" Sam asked. Jane shot her a strange look, as if she wondered how someone could be hungry during a time like this.

"I'll make you a sandwich in a moment, love," she said hurriedly. "Paul, please go away. I can't handle this right now."

"Just let me in, please!" he begged. "I'll help! I won't stay if you don't want me to, but I'll calm him down."

"Mum, don't!" Sam panicked. "You can't let him in or Sophie will get scared! She doesn't like strangers!" Jane looked at her oddly.

"Sammy, Dad isn't a stranger," she said. "He's…he's your dad!"

"Jane?" Paul called again.

"Mummy, please! I don't want to see him! What if he hurts you again?" she asked as she followed her to the kitchen where Sophie was crying. Jane gave her more cough medicine and took a few anxiety pills for herself before she looked down at Sam.

"He won't," she said simply. Sam hugged her legs tightly and Jane had to drag her as they went upstairs to put Sophie in her crib. "Come on, Sam. You don't have to come with me, but he's going to be in the house. Would you like to stay with me or go somewhere else?"

"I'll stay with Sophie so she doesn't get scared," she sighed. Jane nodded and shut the door behind her. She glanced in the mirror and fixed her hair quickly. She tried to open Nate's door but he had locked it. She knocked quietly.

"If this door isn't unlocked by the time I get back, you're in trouble," she warned. She rushed downstairs and pulled the front door open.

"Thank you-,"

"Just hurry up," she interrupted. They went upstairs and Paul knocked on Nate's door.

"Nathaniel, this is your father. Open up," Paul said strongly. Nate wrenched the door open with a huge smile. Paul suddenly couldn't breathe. His son had grown so much without him. His eyes mirrored Jane's and his auburn hair was as long as his father's. "Oh my God."

"Daddy!" he said excitedly. He jumped into Paul's arms and they hugged each other tightly. Paul touched his hair and tried to catch his breath. He held his son close to him and looked up at Jane's cold face.

"Where's Sam?" he asked.

"She doesn't want to see you," she said. "And she doesn't want you to see her sister, either."

"That's hardly fair."

"I don't care." He shook his head and looked down at Nate.

"Hey, buddy, I missed you a lot," he said.

"Why were you gone for so long?" he mumbled into his shirt.

"I needed to work on being a better dad to you all," he explained. "I'm trying really hard." He tried to catch Jane's eye but she ignored him pointedly.

"You're the best, Daddy," Nate argued.

"Nate, go downstairs. I'll fix you something to eat," she instructed. He hugged his father tighter. "Now, Nathaniel. I need to speak with your father."

"Daddy, you'll be back?" he asked hopefully. Paul rubbed his hair and smiled.

"I'll see you really soon, son." Nate hugged him one last time and ran off down the stairs. Paul shifted to his knees and clasped his hands together. "So, Jane, let me beg you. Please let me try and redeem myself, and for God's sake, let me meet my child!"

"No," she clipped, her voice steely. She knew that he would pull something like that. Turning the situation around so it seemed like she was the villain.

"Just let me see her! Let me see Sam, at least! It's been a year, Jane! A year!"

"Exactly, you moron," she snapped. "Whose fucking fault is that? Not mine! You chose to leave us. You can't come back and be the victim!"

"I left because of you!"

"Oh, don't give me that shit, Paul!" she said. "You couldn't face yourself after a month or so, so you just stayed away. Am I wrong with that?"

"No, you're not," he said softly as he stood up. Jane stared steadily into his eyes but betrayed no hint of emotion. "But I'm trying to own up, Jane, love. I'm trying to do better. God, I'm trying so hard to be better. Can't you see that I've been hurting?"

"What a prick! I've been hurting too, Paul!" she exclaimed. "Do you know how hard it is to explain to your child that his father didn't want to be in the same house as his mother and took off? Do you know how painful it is to look into my daughter's eyes, knowing that they've never seen her father? Can you even comprehend how…how confusing it is to deal with a little girl who doesn't want to see her father? Who thinks of him as a stranger? Who is afraid of him? You've got some nerve."

"I had no idea," he said quietly. "I'm sorry."

"Well, I'm sorry too. I think you should go. Next time ring before you come by. I can't have them getting upset while I'm trying to do things." He nodded.

"I'll see you soon, right?" he asked.

"We'll see, Paul." She walked him downstairs and held the door open for him. They stared into each others eyes silently for a moment before Nate came running in. He attached himself to Paul's leg and cried.

"Daddy, please! Daddy, don't leave!" he yelled. Paul peeled him off. "Daddy, no! Stop it!" Jane scooped him up and rubbed his hair. Paul reached over and patted his back.

"I'll be back soon, son. Goodbye, Jane," he said sadly. Jane nodded.

"Bye, Paul." She locked the door carefully behind him and put Nate at the kitchen table with his crayons and paper. She went upstairs to get Sam and Sophie and Sam instantly bounced into her arms.

"I heard Daddy yelling at you," she cried. "I thought he hurt you!"

"No, no, no, my love," Jane cooed. "Daddy won't hurt me. I can't believe how grown up you were! Taking care of Sophie and that. What a big girl you are!" Samantha smiled widely.

"Yeah! And she almost started to cry but I wiped her nose and she was okay!" Sam crowed proudly. Jane picked up the baby and the three of them walked downstairs. She glanced out of the window and saw Paul's car still outside. She set the baby in the playpen and sat Sam next to her brother. She went outside and saw his vague shape hunched over. He gripped the steering wheel and rested his head on his hands as he shook with sobs. She went over and opened the passenger side door.

"Jane, sorry. I'll go," he said hurriedly. She sat next to him and gently pushed his hair out of his eyes.

"No, I'm sorry," she finally relented. "I was just so angry and I didn't want you to just come back like nothing happened!"

"I know-,"

"You can see them, of course you can see them they're your kids but I felt like I raised them alone, Paul! You don't understand! You had a job and something to do in your spare time, but all I did was raise them! That was my job! It is my job!"

"Jane, it must've been so hard. What with your dad and all…" he said. She felt a painful twinge in her chest but she tried to ignore it. "I can never forgive myself for everything that I've put you through, but I want you to. I want you to know that I'm so sorry. I'm not good enough for you, love. I know that."

"Jesus…"

"I'm just so sorry I've disappointed you," he said quietly. She reached over and hugged him, letting him rest his head on her shoulder.

"We're going to make this better, but it will take a long time," she said, stoking his soft hair. "I'm willing to make it work." He looked up.

"I am too." She leaned forward and kissed him softly.

"You can meet her," she said reluctantly. It was so difficult to let those words escape. She wanted to keep Sophie safe forever, to hide her away from anything that was foreign and dangerous. She wanted to keep her baby, her baby, the one that Paul had never laid eyes on, to herself. She wanted to hide Sophie behind her skin and hair and never let her baby's innocent heart be touched by anything hurtful or evil She knew it was selfish but she raised Sophie without Paul and she wanted it to stay that way. However, Sophie was Paul's child too and as much as she hated to, she would have to let him see her.

"And Sam? Can I see her?"

"I think that's up to her. I do not want to force her to see you or like you or do anything she doesn't want to. Are we clear?" she asked. He nodded quickly. "You can come back after I put them to bed and we'll tell them in the morning."

"Okay. I love you, Jane," he said, his eyes wide and vulnerable. She found that she could not say it back to him, so she touched his cheek gently and got out of the car. She glanced at the house and saw Sam peeking through the window. The child's eyes were narrowed, suspicious of the car that began to roll away. Jane came in the door unexpectedly and Sam jumped.

"What do you think you're doing, young lady?" she asked, placing her hands on her hips.

"I was just making sure he wasn't coming back in," she said calmly. She grabbed Jane's hand. "Can we eat now?"

"Wait just a minute," Jane said as she pulled Sam back. "You're going to have to see him someday and it may be sooner than you think."

"But you won't make me talk to him or hug him, right?" she asked.

"Well, no, honey, but he is your father, Samantha, and you'll have to speak to him sometime."

"Don't make me! Please!" she pleaded. "I don't like him anymore! I like you!" Jane sighed and picked up her daughter who began to cry into her shoulder.

"I think you should have something to eat and you can watch the telly until you calm down," she suggested. She gave the kids sandwiches and put a bowl of applesauce in front of Sophie. She started the washing up and thought about Paul.

He seemed to want to make things better, like he wanted to fight for her. Though she felt betrayed by him, she supposed that everyone need a second chance. She had her own faults that she needed to work on—they both did. But they would have to get through all the problems together.

She was pulled out of her reverie by a high pitched shriek. She flinched and dropped the plate into the sink, in turn splashing soapy water all over her.

"Mum!" Nate yelled. "Sophie's throwing food!"

"It's in my eyes!" Sam cried.

"Jesus Christ," she said as she walked into the dining room. "Sophie, darling, stop that!" She glanced at the mess, thought about Paul coming back into her home, and analyzed Samantha's attitude toward her father. She shook her head as she sighed. A handful of applesauce hit her on the cheek and she dryly reminded herself to pick up more Anadin headache medication.