Pale purple light filtered in through her window. It was that time of morning where you couldn't discern whether it was day or night; the two lapses of time merging as one. The duvet was pulled all the way up to her chin, as if she was trying to hide from the reality of the decision she had to make. Her stomach dropped with despair and anticipation, her mind thinking of endless possibilities of how she could widdle her way out of the situation. Was it really as bad as she thought it was? After all, they hadn't done anything - well, not anything necessarily illegal - and Christian wasn't that bad… He was just himself.

Self-absorbed, disrespectful, apathetic…

No matter how hard she tried to deny it, Christian wasn't the type of guy she'd ever see herself with. He wasn't the type of guy she deserved. So, despite her heart screaming with agony, she rolled out of bed and gathered her clothes and belongings.

She was more nervous than sad, which was weird for her first break-up, if she could even call it that. She pondered over what the details of their relationship consisted of, anyway. Did she really mean anything to him? Or was he just bored and lonely? Ana wasn't really sure if she could even be considered his friend. The only things she knew about him were medical. She didn't even know his favorite color…

And he didn't know her's. She tried to remember if he knew anything about her, but then she realized that he had never asked. He had never showed any interest towards her other than wanting to peel her clothes off, and that's what tore Ana apart. She had let him in, let him see her at her most vulnerable point… And it seemed like it was all for nothing. He says that he wants her, but does he really? Or does he just want her body? Christian Grey wasn't the type to love and she knew that he would never love her… Even when she loved him.

She decided that she wasn't going to subject herself to that torture. She was intelligent, kind, caring… She didn't deserve to sell herself short based on feelings she had for a man that she knew would never appreciate her the way she wanted. It would never work and no amount of delusion would change that.

She only prayed that he was honest enough to still give the hospital his donation.

Her clothes and belongings were packed. She walked towards the door of her temporary bedroom and took a long, lasting look at what she had lived in for the past two months. It was a beautiful room, really, but she could only remember feeling such sorrow every time she crawled into bed at night. Either she was annoyed with the way Christian acted, or confused. One minute he wanted to be the happiest man on Earth, and then the other he pretended like she didn't exist.

How had she fallen in love with someone so conflicting?

The heart wants what it wants…

She took a deep breath, praying that Christian was still asleep and that Taylor would let her go peacefully. She knew that man was deeply devoted to Christian, but of course he had to understand where she was coming from. Ana was her own woman. She had the right to leave on her own terms.

She quickly and quietly picked up her suitcase as she descended the staircase, trying with all her might to not make a sound. Would Mrs. Jones be awake? As she remembered the sweet woman who was there for her throughout the duration of her stay, she felt guilty for not even saying goodbye or leaving a note.

Should I? She silently contemplated, then thought better of it.

She didn't have enough time, and even if she did, she knew that Mrs. Jones would understand. They were similar to each other - their minds worked the same. The kind woman wouldn't hold it against her for too long.

Ana stepped onto the pristine marble floor, debating whether or not she should set her suitcase down just yet. She didn't want the wheels to make too much noise, but realized it didn't matter at all once she saw the sight in front of her.

Christian was sitting at the piano, his face looking ashen and forlorn. The dull light from the rising sun glowing onto his skin. His 5 o'clock shadow glistened in the light, making him look tired and weak. His fingers brushed across the keys of the grand piano, his eyesight trained solely on the movements of his hands.

Ana wondered if he had seen her yet, or if it wasn't too late to make a quick dash upstairs and try again tonight. She silently stepped back, trying to inch away from him without drawing attention to herself.

"You're not stealthy," he murmured, his eyes still not raising from the keys of the piano.

His fingers quickened, playing an upbeat melody. The sound was soft and quiet, not even loud enough to be heard in the next room. Ana sighed, placing her suitcase down on the living room floor. She crossed her arms, wondering how their exchange would pan out. Would he threaten her some more? Or would he let her go freely… But with a price?

"Alright, you caught me," she acknowledged, resigning herself to her fate. She wasn't in the mood for a screaming match - she simply wanted to state how she felt and get out. Christian was almost fully well, he didn't need her anymore. There was no point in their constant battle, it wasn't getting them anywhere. They had to be adults and realize that whatever they had, it was now over.

"Not really," he disagreed, "you sort of outed yourself."

"Point taken," she grumbled. She walked closer to him, staring down at him play his favorite instrument. His fingers were so adept and graceful, so beautiful… It was almost painful to look at.

"I take it you're leaving me?" He asked, his voice nonchalant, refusing to allow her to know how truly hurt he felt. A small part of him was so upset because of his self-entitlement and utter need to get everything he wanted, but the larger, caring part of him wanted to hold on to this woman that made him forget who he was. Who made him feel worthy of something.

"I'm leaving this job," Ana clarified. "It has nothing to do with you…" She lied.

Christian's fingers pressed harder onto the keys, his jaw tightening. Soon, he replaced his hurt with anger. He did what he did best - shut people out. If she didn't want him, then so be it. He was Christian Grey, he didn't need to beg; but a part of him wanted to slide off of the piano bench, get onto his hands and knees and plead for her to stay.

Would he admit that? Hell no.

"And I take it that you still want your money?" He asks, once again his voice hard and apathetic.

"It's not my money. It's for the hospital. I don't need anything from you at all, really."

Christian stopped playing, his hands falling into his lap. He stared up at her, his eyes narrowed. "Are we really going to play this game?"

"What game?" Ana asked, rolling her eyes.

He stood up, so abruptly that it startled Ana. She gasped, wanting to step back, but also wanting to throw herself into his arms. He was mere inches away from her, close enough for him to wrap himself around her. She could smell him - the faint hint of lavender and honey cascading off of his body and wafting into her nose. Why was everything about him so alluring? It really pissed her off.

"Pretending like we want this to end," he answered, his eyes alight with anger and frustration.

His hands balled into fists, his skin growing warm with his intense emotions. He tried to fight it - tried to fight caring about her, making himself weak to her charm, but it was so damn hard. Everything about her, from her small quirks, her willingness to deal with his bullshit, her positive and fun attitude, made him want to have her for himself. Unlike with every other woman he had taken interest in, he wanted her for reasons other than sexual attraction. It was an alien feeling and he didn't know what to do about it; so he got angry.

"I do!" Ana exclaimed, matching her anger with his. She couldn't hold back her feelings anymore. She had allowed this man to pry his way into her heart and mind and she was furious about it. He had rejected her, then said he wanted her, then shut her out again. She couldn't deal with the mood swings and the heartache. Enough was enough. "I am so sick and tired of this mind game you're playing with me. One minute you're hot, the next you're cold. I let you in… I gave myself to you and all you care about is controlling and using me."

"What?" Christian bellowed, utterly offended. "You think that's what I want?"

"Isn't it? You threaten to skip out on your donation unless I do what you want. Someone who cared about me wouldn't do that," she argued.

Christian laughed bitterly, shaking his head. He ran both hands through his hair, tugging roughly on the ends. He wanted to rip his hair out, to scream out how ridiculous her thoughts were. "Can't you see? I care too much! Do you think I'd fucking waste my time if it was all about using you? There are girls I could pay to objectify," he growled.

"I don't care…" Ana whispered. "I just want to leave," she sighed, turning away. Her head hung low.

Christian pulled her arm and forced her to face him, his eyes searching her's. He looked desperate, like an addict looking for their next fix. He could feel her slipping through the cracks and it terrified him. He was scared that he let himself feel again only to have it thrown back in his face.

"Why do you keep saying that? Why won't you just try?" He pleaded, grabbing on to her biceps and lightly shaking her.

"Because you'll never be what I need," Ana cried out, her eyes prickling with the harsh realization. "I need stability, freedom, reassurance…"

"I can do that-"

"Oh, please. Elena told me what you're really like. You get bored easily. You spring from girl to girl."

Christian looked down, letting go of her arms. He sighed, "Elena doesn't know what she's talking about."

"No, I think she does… And you do too. Be honest, Christian. Were you interested in a relationship or just sex?"

He clicks his tongue, breathing harshly. "Would it be wrong to say I wanted a sexual relationship?"

Ana shook her head. "See? We want different things… I can't allow myself to get hurt."

"I would never hurt you, I wouldn't do anything you don't want to do."

"I know," she acquiesced.

"Then please just try," Christian whispered, stepping closer. He was hesitant, completely unsure of her next reaction.

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I love you and I know you'll never love me," she admitted, tears streaming down her face. Her heart felt like it just exploded, the sheer agony of allowing him to know her true feelings seeping in. She wanted the floor to swallow her up, or at least to drop dead right then and there so she didn't have to deal with the embarrassment of telling Christian Grey she loved him.

She didn't look up for a long while, until she felt Christian moving towards her. The expression on his face was not what she expected. It was pained… Fearful. She frowned, sure that he would be disgusted and upset with the mess he had gotten himself into.

He gingerly cupped her face in his hands, pressing their foreheads against one another's. He sighed deeply, sorrow escaping from within the confines of his chest.

"Ana…" He groaned, pulling her closer. "That's wrong."

She pulled away, confused. "Why would that be wrong?"

"Because I'm not… I'm not a good person. You even said so yourself."

"I never said that," she refused, "I said we weren't right for each other."

"You're probably right," he resigned, inching away. "Look at the mess I already caused."

"How is me loving you a mess?"

"Because you're too good."

"Can't you see that you're not a total monster?" She yelled, hurt that he would think so lowly of himself. "If you were a terrible person I would've never fell in love with you."

"I'm sorry that you did," he muttered, his eyes looking at the ground. "I wouldn't wish that on anyone."

Ana stormed towards him, pulling at the fabric of his shirt. Her eyes began to water once again. "You're such an idiot, you know that?" She asked, enraged and broken all at the same time.

Christian grabbed her arms, pulling her closer. His lips crashed down on hers, rough and domineering. Ana kissed back, intertwining her body with his. She couldn't hold it back any longer. She had tried for weeks to deny herself of what her body and heart wanted, but with everything out in the open, she couldn't fight it anymore.

They groped each other, pulling angrily at one another's skin. Their interaction was passionate and primal, all logic thrown out the window. They knew what they were doing would only cause more pain, but they couldn't stop. It had taken every ounce of will that Christian had, to live with her under the same roof and not make a move. They had denied themselves of their desire for one another for long enough.

Christian picked Ana up, his hands sliding underneath her shirt. His skin on her's alighted an even deeper passion within her. She wrapped her legs around him as Christian made their way up the stairs, surely to finish what they started that fateful day in the bathroom.

Ana admired his tan, smooth skin. Every inch of his skin was completely perfect, not a blemish on it - exception being his chest. His wounds that were so large and angry just two months ago, were now closed and fading. They would scar for sure, but the pain was gone. It was amazing to think of how far they had come. Two months ago Christian was nothing but a stranger, just someone being wheeled into their hospital because of a motorcycle accident. Now… He was someone she loved. Someone who had deflowered her.

It was a very fucked up situation.

She took in his serene expression as he slept. In his slumber he didn't have to hide who he was, to put on the facade of a cold, narcissistic man in order to shut everyone out. He could just be…

It warmed Ana's heart, but also made her feel cheated. He was never like this with her, and she didn't think he would ever be. As she slinked further into the satin sheets, the bedspread caressing her naked skin, she felt a strange sense of finality after the whole ordeal. Nothing they had done had changed the circumstances. Christian was still going to be who he was and Ana was still going to want something he couldn't give her.

She closed her eyes. It also dawned on her that he hadn't said he loved her back. She sighed, crawling out of the bed and reaching for her clothes. She placed them on slowly, half hoping that Christian would wake up and tell her to stay, but another more logical part of her realizing that this was the right thing to do. They couldn't have each other - they both knew that; but at least this way, Christian would have a part of her that no man ever would.

They always say the first time should be with someone you love…

Ana slinked down the stairs and collected her suitcase. Before leaving, she grabbed a sheet of paper out of her purse along with a pen.

I don't regret what happened. I'm glad it did, but it doesn't change anything. I'm sorry. I wish things were different.

-Ana

She placed the note on the kitchen counter and made her way towards the foyer. As she waited for the elevator, she anticipated Taylor's intrusion, but it never came. Perhaps even he knew that things had come to an end.