Christmas Nigh; Adeste Fi!

A/N: Feedback makes me happy, … so thank you!

Hey, I just noticed that this part, being 12/25, ... is kind of another reference in and of itself, isn't it?

Part 12

Harm and Mac had finished opening presents, mostly just a few more odd little gifts that only those who know each other well could get.

"I must have been good this year, after all," commented Harm, looking over all of his presents from Mac.

"Nah," Mac playfully disagreed, "I just like shopping."

"Did you like your gifts?"

"I do like them. Thank you," Mac answered. "… You know that any other woman would have been offended by being given a rock for Christmas. Well," she amended, "… unless it was the shiny and expensive kind attached to a ring."

Picking up the actual referenced gift, Harm objected, "This isn't a rock. It's a fossil."

"I know," Mac conceded with a smile.

"And you … are not any other woman," he told her.

Harm was giving Mac that look again. The look that made her insides flutter.

She flushed, but again diverted things. "… I hope not," she responded with humor. "I'd hate to be suffering from multiple personalities."

After chuckling at her comment, Harm thoughtfully noted, "… You know, you do sort of have two … personas."

"What?"

"Sure, there's Mac, the tough Marine lawyer, … and Sarah, the …" He didn't continue.

"The what?"

He paused before quietly finishing, "… the woman underneath."

Mac tried to digest that, but found it difficult. "I'm the same person, Harm. I wasn't aware that having a nickname gives me a mean alter ego."

"I didn't say mean," Harm disputed. "'Mac' is also … my dependable, good-natured best friend."

"Then where does 'Sarah' come in? That side of me isn't your best friend?"

"You, as a whole person, are my best friend," he assured her. "Different names aren't bad, Mac, they just have certain connotations. … Like Santa Claus; … he's the guy in the red suit. St. Nicholas … is more religious with the bishop outfit and all." Harm gestured over his head indicating the mitre that bishops wear.

"Kris Kringle," he continued, "… I think of as 'civilian' Santa, you know, without the red uniform and all, the way I think he'd be the rest of the year. … And then there's Father Christmas, … he's a fun, feast-loving guy with a really full and wild beard." He used his hands to indicate the fullness of such facial hair. "… Different aspects, different names, but … the same person."

"Harm, those are all various cultural interpretations of a largely fictionalized character," Mac pointed out.

"Ok, forget the names," he told her. "I just meant … you've got different layers to who you are."

Mac considered that for a moment. "I guess I can see that," she admitted. "You've got different aspects to your personality too. They just don't have separate names." On second thought, she added, "… Unless you count 'Hammer,' … because your pilot self definitely has its own layer."

Harm cocked his head at her. "You don't like the 'pilot' side of me, do you?"

Mac shrugged. "It's all part of who you are."

"You didn't answer the question."

"Didn't I?" She had thought that by her tone and evasiveness, she really had.

But Harm shook his head no.

Mac considered her response, before admitting, "That isn't the part of you that I would specifically consider my best friend. It certainly isnot the side of you that I most understand. … And sometimes I think that's where your annoying over-arrogance stems from."

"Please, … don't hold back," Harm insisted sarcastically, but also jesting. "I can't take this rosy picture."

"You asked," Mac defended herself, knowing that Harm wasn't really offended. She was quiet for a moment, concentrating her eyes on the fire. Then she softly stated, "Hammer is the part of you that left me without my best friend and partner for six months. It's the part that almost … took you away from me completely."

She shifted her focus to the end of the blanket she had around her, … fidgeting with the edge as if she was considering taking it apart and putting it back together again.

"What?" He didn't know what she was referring to.

"Your swim in the Atlantic," she reminded him.

Harm had to think about that. "… I guess that incident occurred because I was a pilot, which put me out on the carrier in the first place," he admitted. "Though, … I'm not sure I was really operating in 'Hammer' mode at the time."

It was her turn to be confused. "What do you mean?"

Harm tried to work out how to answer her question. It was not that his flying abilities had been affected, … just his feelings. He had been Harm, the man, on that flight, trying to make it home because of what it meant to the woman he loved.

He would have offered that woman his unconditional support, even in losing her, … simply because she asked it of him. Or maybe he would have been completely honest with her and hoped he could have stopped her before she made a mistake.

He was now so thankful that the marriage didn't go through. Seeing Mac go to another man had bothered Harm more than he could express, doubly so because that man was 'Bugme.' But it was really the thought of losing her that he hated most. He'd been so emotionally torn.

That flight back, before everything went haywire, he really only had two things on his mind, other than piloting: 1) Mac would hate him if he didn't make it back in time, and 2) He'd rather eat a three-decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce, promptly ending his own life, than watch her marry Brumby.

"Just that … I wasn't in much of a 'cocky jetfighter pilot' mood most of that trip," he answered. Getting away from that sticky issue, he got back to the subject, noting, "But, I see there is obviously part of me you wish was different."

"No, … not really," Mac said easily.

This confused Harm. Didn't she just basically say she hated the pilot in him?

"Like I said," Mac explained, "… it's part of who you are." She met his eyes. "Being a pilot encouraged you to be confident, daring, tenacious, and goal-oriented. You've applied all of those things to the courtroom … and the rest of your life. I do admire how you go after the truth, go out of your way to help people, … never give up."

With a small grin, she continued, "And while I may complain about your arrogance and that damn irresistible smile of yours that gets you whatever you want, … I've gotten used to them. More importantly, I've gotten to know your other layers, so I realize that you're not really as cocky as you come off at times, … and I know that you don't really abuse your flyboy charm."

He couldn't help but check, "The flyboy charm and irresistible smile that you're immune to?"

"Not as immune as I try to pretend," Mac admitted, looking at the fire. Then she quickly turned her head to his meet his eyes. "… But yeah, …" she assured him with a lopsided grin, "I won't let you take advantage of me."

Harm was amazed at her admissions regarding him. "So, you don't mind my 'Hammer' traits on occasion?"

"No." She was giving him the softest look. "… And if you didn't love flying so much, then I wouldn't get to see your eyes light up every time you come within 1,000 feet of a plane."

Mac smiled as if to tell him that it made her happy to see him happy. "So, no, … I don't really wish that wasn't a part of you." She shrugged. "… I like who you are."

"I like who you are too." Harm began another sentence, "I think that …" Suddenly realizing he was about to say something very revealing about his feelings for her, he stopped.

"What?" Mac implored him to continue.

He switched gears. "… that … I … should change into my new PJ pants."

Mac knew that wasn't what he was going to say. She wondered about it, but didn't ask. "Good idea. … Here, take the flashlight to the bathroom. I'll find you a sweatshirt and put it out on the bed."

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TBC …