Amethyst Skies
Part 2
By Dog-Demon-Emiko
Chapter 12: Cliffs
My hand slammed onto the alarm clock before it could even go off. I laid in my bed for a minute and listened to the sounds of the house. I furrowed my brow when I heard nothing. No lights were on and there was no TV either. I sat up slowly, rubbing my eyes, and looked out my window. The only car in the driveway was mine. I hopped out of bed and went over to my closet, pulling my now dry hair over my shoulder. I twisted it into a tight braid and secured the end of it with an elastic I found on the closet floor. I dug through a large plastic bin under all the clothes I had hanging and found what I was looking for. It was my bathing suit that I had worn only twice before. It was a brown bikini top with a baby blue flower stitched on the left breast, and the matching bottoms with the same flower on the butt. It took more digging to find the shorts to them- they were brown surfer shorts with a blue flower on the side of the right leg and blue stitching all aroung. I put on brown flip-flops and grabbed my jaket and keys.
I moved downstairs into the kitchen, not bothering with any lights. I went into the drawer next to the fridge and flipped through countless notebooks fulled with notes until I found a blank page.
Mom, I wrote.
Don't freak out. I couldn't sleep so I went on a drive.
I should be back in about an hour or so.
Yes, I know it's a school night and I promise to get up in the morning.
Love you,
Rose
I put it in the middle of the kitchen table and left quickly. I really didn't want to meet her on the road and have to explain myself in person. I was a fair liar but it felt terrible lying to my mother.
I took the one-oh-one north for a bit before turning off into La Push. It didn't take long to find the road, there wern't very many here. There was no rain over here, there wasn't any need. The water splahed up on the cliffs and droplets were flung into the air. The air here was constantly wet. I cut the engine far from the cliffs and walked silently over to them, my jaket held tight around me. I wasn't cold, just not sure if Thomas had been serious. I had never cliff dived before, but I wasn't unfamiliar with jumping from great heights.
As I neared the sight I was not disappointed. There was an angry but smug looking Thomas with an equally angry Keith. They both seemed tense, like they had just finished arguing.
If dad knew about this it would be my ass!
I stepped out from the bushes, having a feeling they knew I was already there. This was their territory after all, I could be ambushed at any moment. Thomas's face grew less angry and more devilish while Keith let out a loud growl. My eyebrows furrowed but then raised. The sounds of the cliffs and smells of the water had deafened my senses. There had to be about ten other wolves, all leaning agiasnt rocks that lined the edge in the darkness.
"Rose," Keith whispered urgently. When did he get next to me? "You don't have to do this. No one will clown you if you don't," I smiled at him almost happily, almost.
"I'm doing this for myself. Besides, I've never cliff dived before. It sounds like fun." His eyes widened and he gripped my arm.
"And you want this to be your first time? Rose this cliff is almost ninety feet high!" He was still whispering but I knew he wanted to yell. I was still smiling and I cupped his cheek with my hand.
"Calm down, I'm not that easy to kill. Besides, I like a challenege." I broke his grip on my arm and shed my jaket. I saw him drinking in my body out of the corner of my eye. I moved towards Thomas, a smile of a different kind on my face, before Keith could snap back into reality. "Ladies first," I smirked.
"Who ever goes out farthest, wins." Thomas snorted and walked back to near my jaket.
He got a running start, his run fast and aggressive, but not as much as my own. He could be one hell of a defense football player though. He got to the edge and pushed of with a roar, falling over. I peeked over the edge to see him hit the water, his back stright and legs slightly in front of him. He splashed, went under, and came back up unharmed. What a shame.
He swam over to the shore and shook off much like a dog would. "Beat that bloodsucker!" he shouted. The wolves lining the rocks howled with the challenge and looked hungrily at me. Thomas scaled the bottom of the cliff, jumping from rock to rock made it back up, looking at me with that look I wanted so badly to wipe from his face.
To bad she's one of them, she's a cutie
Wonder if she's a virgin
She'll never make it
She's gotta heartbeat? How?
Keith looks pissed, wonder if he likes her?
I tried hard not to look at Keith's expression as I walked back to the same point Thomas had been by my jacket and breathed. I leaned forward, letting my weight carry me and ran on the balls of my feet. I crossed the distance of about thirty-five feet with just a few bounds an pushed off right at the edge of the cliff. Just like my ball in Gym I went straight out over the water.
Holy shit!
She beat him!
He's not going to be happy
Just how powerful is she?
I straightened my body out to a postition much like Thomas's had been, my heels breaking the surface first. As soon as the freezing water covered my scalp I started flailing my arms and legs, bringing myself to the surface. I whipped my heavy braid around my shoulder and spit the salty water from my mouth. A few short hairs in the front of my hair cling to the sides of my face. The current was strong but I managed to get back to shore easily. I scaled the rocks a bit faster than Thomas did -used to the slippery mountians of Chile- and came to the top. I wrung out my hair and ignored the freezing droplets that ran down my skin.
Mine
That voice whispered again. It was deep, primal, and amazingly seductive. I immediatly looked towards Keith to see him staring at me withan unreadable expression from not to far away. I turned to Thomas, trying to get the picture of all of his glorious power out of my mind.
"Will that shut you up?" He sneered at me.
"You got lucky." I rolled my eyes. I had honestly expected something more challenging.
I guess she's alright.
Thomas dosn't look happy, why can't he just leave it alone.
What was so bad about vampies anyway?
He's always been a soar loser.
Mine...
I started to feel uncomfortable.
There was a strange feeling in my heart. It was unfamilair, and most certainly unwelcomed. The wolves were in good spirits, teasing Thomas on his loss. I paid thm no mind though as the all dive bombed off the cliff and into the ocean below. I went to my jaket and picked it up slowly, shaking the mud from it. I debated on whether or not I should leave. I'd only been here about thirty minutes. If mom was back she wouldn't know how long I'd been gone anyway.
"Rose," I heard his deep voice call. That strange feeling was back and it was making me want to run for it. I didn't know what it was but I didn't want it there. It was starting to scare me. I turned around in the darkness.
"I was just about to go," I said quietly. "I didn't mean to linger." He reached out to me and touched my shoulder, a small, friendly gesture.
"Rose," he said agian. His voice sounded far away, as if she was unsure. He's just as confused as I am. "You can stay if you want," he said quickly. I smiled, not knowing what to say back. A thank you would sound so tacky.
"Come on Keith! Bring her with you!" one of the wolves yelled before jumping backwards off the cliff.
"Whoa," I whispered. I could see him smirk out of the corner of my eye.
"Want to try?" I looked at him incredously. "You said you liked to try new things," he reminded me in a taunting voice. I chewed on my bottom lip and looked into his face agian.
"Fine," I huffed, getting lost a bit in his eyes.
"It'll be fine, trust me." he assured me. I nodded. "Hold on tight to me," he said. I nodded and got onto his back, my arms around his shoulders and legs around his waist.
I could get used to this...
I shook my head clear and blocked out the rest of his thoughts before anymore reached me.
My mom had took me running on her back when I was a child, teaching me not to be afraid of speed, even though I always screamed at her to go faster. She was smooth and graceful in her run, I was barely ever jostled. It had felt like I was flying. Keith's run was different. It was full with power and aggression that you'd often see in a real wolf. He had a poweful, ground covering gait that made me feel like I was on the back of a war horse. Soon there was a huge jolt, and we were flying for real. His arms tugged me around his body as his back was falling towards the water. He laid me on his stomach and held me tightly to him. All at the same time I felt warm, safe, and protected even though I was falling ninety-something feet through the air into the ocean at who-the-hell-knows what speed. After an eternity, we striaghtened out a bit and hit the water. I was shocked to feel the freezing water his my feet and engulf me completly. Before I could move, Keith had one arm around me tightly and his other powering us to the surface quickly. I breathed in the salty air before I knew it.
I shook the hair from my face and turned to him. The rush of falling had suddenly just hit me and I beamed. He laughed at my goofy face and manuvered me around onto his back and swam to shore. We hit the sand sooner than I wanted to and I wrung out my hair. I could hear the other wolves hitting the water, howling in their joy.
As I pushed the wet hair from my face I looked to him, a smile still on my face. "Thanks for that, it was fun."
"Anytime," He flashed me a perfectly white smile and offered me his hand. Without thinking, I took it. My heart pounded in my chest, making my breath quiker than what it should have been. "You alright?" he asked. I nodded, not trusting my voice. If only you knew the effect you had on me...
Like a rag-doll I was slung over his back easily as he scaled the rocks effortlessly. "I could've gotten up you know," I reminded him as I hit the top. He smiled and shurgged.
I just wanted to touch you agian, he said mentally. I looked anywhere but his face at that moment.
"It's getting late," I pointed out.
"You have to go so soon?" He truely sounded a bit downcast.
"Yes, we have school tomorrow. Just because I'm stubborn dosn't mean I don't have my priorties straight," I defended. Mom was probably going to kill me. He nodded anway and I turned to leave back to my car.
"Rose," he called out as the wolves behind him picked up their clothes to leave also.
"Yes?" I asked, my braid whipping my hip as I turned my head.
"...Goodnight," he breathed, still unsure. The darkness covered his eyes to much for me to see what was in them, but his tone almost made me melt.
"Goodnight," I whispered in return. Once I was out of sight I ran back to my car, my jacket covering my freezing body. I turned the heat up on blast and let my head fall forward into the streering wheel. I calmed down a bit, trying to put up my emotional barrier agian. My mother had told me that when she was human she used to cry a lot when she couldn't deal with things. I think that that was what was happeneing now. Unexplained tears fell like a steady trickle down my cheeks.
I got home faster than I wanted to and groaned when I saw mom's car in the driveway. None of the lights were on but I could see the light from the TV through the window. I composed myself by taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly and turned the knob. We had really stopped bothering to lock the door at night. Mom was awake at night, left after me in the morning, and got home after me in the afternoon.
"Rose," Mom called from the living room. I went to the fridge, an excuse to not go to her call.
"Yea Mom, it's me."
"Are you alright? You sound sort of strange." I knew she wasn't talking about my voice. She always watched TV with the volume almost all he way down. More than likely she was referring to my forced breathing and erratic heartbeat.
"Yea Mom, just thinking a lot, that's all." When I stood from the fridge, a bagel and cream cheese in hand, she was leaning agianst the door between the kitchen and living room, a careful look on her face. I put the bagel in the toaster and waited, getting out a knife from the drawer.
"Anything you want to talk about?" She asked. I secretly willed the toaster to hurry along.
"No, it's nothing Mom, honest." We sat in silence for a second.
"I miss him too you know," I looked up. Her golden eyes were murky with memory and a bit of sorrow. My eye brows lowered and for a second I forgot my problems.
"Wha-" I started.
"You still talk in your sleep," she reminded me. I sighed. It was a habit I had gotten from her. I wouldn't mind it if she wasn't awake to hear it.
"I was talking about dad?" I asked. For the last week or so I'd been having dreams about him. My mind was playing tricks on me by having me dream of my father holding me or playing with me when I was a little girl. But when I awakened I didn't remember any of it, only the burning hole in my heart that yearned for something unnamed and unwelcomed.
"Yes." The toaster broke the odd silence. I turned and spread the cream cheese on the bread almost carefully. I bit into it slowly, examining my own teeth marks as I chewed softly.
"I'm going to bed." I told her, picking up the other half of my food and going up the stairs.
"Goodnight," she called. I said nothing back. It was almost like everyone was ganging up on me some way somehow. They were out to get me; all hitting me in the same area. By the time I reached my room tears were falling down my face. I changed out of my wet clothes into some dry ones and tied my hair up. The bagel was gone and I found myself at my piano singing softly.
Lithium,
Don't want to lock me up inside.
Lithium,
Don't want to foget how it feels without-
Lithium,
I want to stay in love with my sorrow.
Oh, I want to let it go.
My fingers floated over the keys to the song that I knew so well. The lyrics were the words of my soul.
Come to bed,
Don't make me sleep alone.
Couldn't hide the emptiness you let it show.
Never wanted it to be so cold,
Just didn't drink enough to say you love me.
I can't hold on to me,
Wonder what's wrong with me.
Lithium,
Don't want to lock me up inside.
Lithium,
Don't want to forget how it feels without-
Lithium,
I want to stay in love with my sorrow.
Don't want to let it lay me down this time.
Drown my will to fly.
Here in the darkness I know myself.
Can't break free until I let it go.
Let me go!
I do this to myself. Somehow I become happy and then I turn it around on myself to make myself miserable. It was maddening, but it felt natural. Almost like I didn't deserve to be happy.
Darling, I forgive you after all.
Anything is better than to be alone.
And in the end I guess I had to fall.
Always find my place among the ashes.
I can't hold on to me,
Wonder what's wrong with me.
Lithium,
Don't want to lock me up inside.
lithium,
Don't want to forget how it feels without.
Lithium,
I want to stay in love with my sorrow.
Oh but God I want to let it go.
My lap was wet with tears but my eyes stared out into nothingness. It was almost as if I played the song without knowing...as if I had played from my own sorrow. I pulled my hands away from the piano and my knees up to my chest. I put my head down between my knees and my arm around my head, protecting myself from something unseen. The door clicked and the bench squeeked with extra weight. I jumped when my mother touched me, making her hand recoil. I peaked up at her from under wet lashes and coils of hair, seeing her face full of concern. She said nothing, she only opened her arms to me, meaning I was free to refuse if I wanted. She hadn't done this since I was a child, back when I used to cry without a care.
I eyed her almost suspisously and scooted over towards her, leaning into her chest. I felt nothing but love from her cold body, and I used that to will the tears to stop. We stayed that way for a while, I didn't know how long. My butt was numb and her scent surrounded me though.
"What's wrong Rose?" Her voice was quiet and far away. I inclined my head to look at her to see her eyes glossy with memory. She felt my breath on her neck and looked down at me, smiling softly...sadly.
"Lithium," I whispered. It was latin before the title of Evanescence's song. In an eggshell it meant to be sort of...masochistic...to be unhappy and be happy with it in a way. Mom smiled and kissed the top of my head.
"I can't help you with that even though I wish I could," she told me. I nodded.
"Didn't expect you to...I have to help myself, I know this." I got up and hugged her goodnight.
"Make sure you wash that salt out of your hair," he told me, and left. I put my hand on my head and grimaced. My hair was become hard and dry from the salt. I grabbed my towel from my closet and went to the shower.
When the bell had rang, signaling the end of school and I was absoulutly relieved. I never told Alan about the cliff diving thing, so History, English, and Gym was completly akward. Throughout History I kept my gaze out the window, never looking towards him and English I just skipped and went to the nurse. I faked having a headache and told the nurse that I couldn't do Gym. She had given me a note and Coach Burns had no choice but to let me sit out the period, saying I would need to make it up somehow. We agreed that I run a few laps after school tomorrow, that I could live with.
Alan had agreed to stay after school with me so I could make up the laps, saying he needed exersice anyway. I knew it wasn't true, Alan hardly moved if it wasn't nessessary, but I did apreciate it anyway.
When the Coach's whistle blew, everyone put away the balls and Alan and I moved to the bleachers. We had played a bit of football today and now I realized why we didn't have a team- this school was seriously out of shape. The only good ones were Keith and Thomas who I kept my gaze from for different reasons. Coach allowed some of the class to just throw the ball back and forth so we didn't get crushed in the intense game.
After the bell rang and the class filed out I hopped from the bench and walked into Burns's office. It was small and reeked of the waxy substance that covered the gym floor. She put her gradebooks into a locked drawer and looked at me for a second.
"You ever play any sports?" she asked. I shook my head. She looked at me suspisously. "So where did you get calves like those?" She asked. I looked down at my calves, barley visable under my huge basketball shorts.
"Martial arts," I explained.
"Which style?"
"Shaolin Kung-Fu, Tai-chi, but mostly Ju-jitsu." She nodded.
"In that case give me ten laps, thats about a quarter mile." I let a smirk slip through, big mistake. "Under eight minutes," she added. I tried my hardest to frown. I could run a mile in about a second and still keep going.
"If I do this, then can I skip tomorrow and not get written up for it?" I asked hopefully. The corner of the witty coaches lip twitched.
"Maybe. We'll see how well you do." I nodded and left.
"Ten laps under eight minutes," I explained to Alan who was leaning agianst the wall outside the office.
"Does she know who you are?" he joked. I didn't answer as Burns appeared at her office door. I crouched down by the half court line and waited.
"Go," she commanded. It was hard for me not to leap a distance and then start out running like I usually do. Crouching and then pouncing is a natural instinct for me. I held back at a human pace and picked it up as I hit the corner of the court. Like usual I had to exagerate my breathing, especially with the Coach's sharp eyes watching. She has an eye for talent.
When I came to a stop she was looking at me with wide eyes. I pretended to have heavy breath and expanded my ribs with the movement.
"What? I did good then right?" I asked.
"Yes, in four minutes and twenty-seven seconds," she commented. Alan's smirked.
"I think you packing on some pounds Rose, that's almost ten seconds later than last year's quarter mile." I wanted so badly to flip him off. Last year in Gym we did the quarter mile. But we had Gym thrid period and I was hungry. In the end Alan had beaten me.
"You like sports Cullen? You could do our team some good." Burns offered.
"We have a sports team?" Both of us igored Alan.
"No thanks Coach, martial arts is enough for me." I smiled at the woman and she gave me a nod. I went downstairs into the locker rooms and changed from my gym clothes, locking my locker after me. I met Alan outside the locker room.
"Want to go for a walk?" He asked.
"I just ran a quarter mile!" He rolled his eyes.
"Like your tired."
"No, but I'm hungry." He chuckled.
"You eat more than a pregnant woman," he accused.
"You calling me fat?" He stopped for a moment, deciding within himself.
"Yes," he said simply. He laughed at my pouty face. "I'm kidding. Lighten up will you? You've been so uptight lately." We exited through the back door and across the football field. We got into my car since he rode to school with me today. I pouted when he got to the drivers side before me. "Please?" he asked. I sighed and nodded.
"I have not,"I answered his previous statment.
"Yes you have. What's going on Rose, your freaking me out." He pulled off into the highway and I was careful with my words. The last thing I wanted was for us to spin out and end up on the side of the highway.
"It's nothing Alan." There was a slience, and I could feel his thoughts were focused on me. We went on the one-ten and I sighed. He wasn't going to let me go until I told him. I hated it when he got like this. He parked the car on La Push Road and got out. I stayed where I was, the last thing I wanted to do was run into any wolves. He sighed at my stubborness and reached under the seat for an unmarked CD. He turned on the car halfway and popped it into the player.
I heard a horrific tune start before two whiney girls began to start singing. I cringed and held my ground. As his hand reached for the volume I glared at him.
"I'll break it," I threatened.
He shrugged, "Your car, mom's CD." Sighing I got out the car and over into the lush green woods. I heard him chuckle and follow me. I leaned agianst a tree and he sat on a boulder across from me.
"Yes, it's Keith...I-" I didn't know how to begin. I wasn't really comfortable talking about guys, especially to another guy.
"Like him," Alan finished my sentence. I glared at him and he put his hands up in surrender. "Look Rose, your confused about what to do with this guy because you never liked him before." My glare turned darker.
"Thanks, Dr. Phil, what's your suggestion?" I sneered sarcasticlly. So what I didn't know how to say it, he didn't have to say it for me.
"Don't be a smartass,"
"But it's oh so much fun." I rolled my eyes.
"So why won't you give this guy a chance?" He asked, picking at moss on the boulder he was sitting on.
"Why would I?" I countered. But I was really talking to myself more.
"Because he likes you, you like him, and threrfore you should be together? It's not like your forbidden or something." You don't know how wrong you are..."Come on Rose, give yourself a chance."
"What happened to no one will ever be good enough for me?" He had said that countless times over agian.
"I just want someone to look out for you." he whispered. My eyes narrowed and my mind felt tired with understanding.
"So soon?" I asked. He nodded. Sarah had sold the apartment already. I had suspected and really hoped that she wouldn't have been able to accomplish it in only the eight short weeks we've lived here. "I'll be fine on my own, you know that."
"Do I?" His eyes held something almost like fear. My emotions scared Alan sometimes. I didn't know if it was because I was a girl or that human emotions wern't something that were easy to cope with for me, but fear them he did. Sometimes we could be out sitting together happy and whole and the next minute we were talking about death. I always supposed he went along with it for me seeing as I had no fear of death. I think the only fear I had was...I don't know.
"Alan, it's not like we won't talk. And you'll come back for Christmas and over summer vacation, si?"
"Yo no se," he whispered. It looked like he was more afraid of leaving me then I was.
"Of course you don't know, we live our lives according to nothing, and cherish every moment. We don't think ahead, we let God do it for us." I reminded him. He smiled and looked up to me. I returned it and sat next to him on the boulder, putting my arms around his shoulders. "It'll be alright, I promise."
"Will you give Keith a chance?" I pulled away from him and put on a playful scowl. "Look he's a nice guy. He's in my anatomy class. He's not like those other ass holes."
"We'll see," I growled. He pulled me into a fierce hug and took off at a sprint.
"Race you to the car!" he called out. I let him win. Logiclly with a headstart like that he would anyway. I tried to ignore the fact that I wouldn't see my best friend anymore. We couldn't laugh or joke or have our wordless conversations. It had sure beat the hell out of passing notes!
This time I got to drive and we got to his house much faster than we would have had he been driving. I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and looked at the apatrment buildings in front of me.
"I'll e-mail you alright?" I nodded and ruffled his inky hair. Both Sarah and Alan's cars must have been shipped already. I waved to him as he used the key to enter the building door and pulled off. I was glad I had a serious tint job, because the tears fell down my eyes rapidly. The rain started to fall and I almost didn't notice. What was life in Forks without Alan?
Later on that night I rode with Mom to take Alan and Sarah to the air port. It the longest ride that I ever had taken and it was my most dreaded. We lugged their bags in with us and checked them in. I looked all around the shiny but small airport, at the faces of all the happy people, anywhere but at Alan's face. I didn't want him to see that I was indeed crying, the tears piling high on my lids. As he pulled me into the strong embrace before he departed the traitorous tears spilled and got squished in between our cheeks.
"Le faltaré," he whispered.
"I'll miss you too," I mumbled. I gave Sarah a long firm hug, nodded to Fernando and waved to them as they left trhough security checks and to their gate. Mom put her arm around my shoulders and kissed the top of my head. I know what she was saying, 'I'll miss them too.'
I decided to give two chapters this weekend since it's Martin Luther King Day and I'm home bored. Plus I hate leaving a cliffy like that and I have too many chapters uploaded on the server and have no clue how many it can hold before it fails on me.