AN: Back at college, life is good again... reviews make me happy and I'll love you forever3
I open my eyes in the morning, and the events of last night immediately come flooding back to me. The drinking, the dance, the kiss, and finally sobering up enough in the kitchens after rounds of mozzarella sticks and staggering back to our dorm. Well damn. That escalated extremely QUICKLY. The hell Anjali? You knew Fred for less than a week and you just kissed him?! Well to be fair, you've known of him for seven years, and he is super sweet. The voices in my mind argue, and my head swirls.
"Aargggghhhhh," I groan, holding my head and pulling myself up into a sitting position.
"What the bloody hell happened last night? And where the fuck are my clothes?" I hear Taiga say from across the room, panic rising in her voice.
"hrmsgmgmgmaks," Emery mumbles from under her covers.
"Sorry? Didn't quite catch that Em," Ashton says, also groggily sitting up.
"You had like 16 shots, danced with Jason from Slytherin, and your costume disappeared back to the Room of Requirement," she pulls the covers down off her face just long enough to fill in Taiga's memory and then cuddles back up.
"Oh," Taiga pulls her sheets around her and heads to the bathroom. "Now it's coming back to me a little."
"I kissed Fred," I blurt out, unable to contain myself anymore.
"WHAT?!" The room collectively gasps, and Taiga stops halfway to the bathroom.
"Are you guys a thing now?"
"Was it good?"
"What was it like?"
"Was he good?"
"Do you really like him then?"
"Is he taking you to Hogsmeade?"
"GUYS!" I say loudly trying to get their attention.
"I really honestly don't know any of that, aside from it was weird and I think I was doing it right? He said it was good, so?"
"He said it was good?!" Emery squeals, "When? That's fantastic!"
I narrate the exchange Fred and I had on the way to the kitchens, and grin when they all break out awww-ing over his thoughtfulness.
Since it's Sunday we decide to head to the library to get our homework out of the way and then to have a girls night.
Around 5'o'clock in the evening my stomach starts growling.
"Can we go get dinner yetttttt?" I whine to the table. Ashton and Emery are working on Divination, Taiga is helping Lucy, who joined us when we came in, with some 5th year Herbology, and I am struggling through my Transfiguration paper about Animagi.
"Just give us another 40 minutes to wrap things up, and sure we'll head to dinner."
"Fineeeee," I groan, getting up to find another book.
Walking through the rows and rows of books to the transfiguration section I zone out a bit, just walking on autopilot. I am SO hungry. Why did we only grab a muffin each from the kitchen? That is not a healthy breakfast/lunch. I continue on grumbling to myself until I hit a hard mass.
"Ugh JEEZ. What is your problem?"
"Oh, sorry I just wasn't paying attention.." I trail off as I realize I've just walked into James Potter. "Sorry James," I say picking up his book as I stand up.
"Yeah. Whatever." He snatches the book from my hands. "Save it for someone who cares." James snaps as he brushes past me.
Wha-? That's highly uncalled for. Damn he smells good. Shit Anjali- I stand there in absolute shock for a moment. Shaking my head to rid it of good-smelling Potter thoughts. Why is he being so weird. He didn't even know I really existed before this year, then he was nice and then he ignored me and last night he couldn't take his eyes off me and now this? Wait. I pause in my thinking for a moment as that detail of last night comes back to me, he couldn't take his eyes off me. James Sirius Potter, the most wanted bachelor of Hogwarts, couldn't take his eyes off ME. As hard as I fight it, a warm fluttery feeling bursts through my stomach. No. NO. NO. Anjali, stop it. You are with Fred. Fred kissed you. Fred wants you and you want him. But do I? I get a warm feeling when I'm with Fred, he makes me laugh. But, it's not firey, or passionate. It's not fireworks.
Does it have to be? Another voice whispers in my head. Does it have to be fireworks? What if you're aiming too high, for something unrealistic? Maybe this is just the beginning, maybe it gets better as we fall in love. Maybe the powerful descriptions of love in novels were just exaggerated fiction. What if you never find fireworks? What if you're supposed to be with Fred but you ditch him because you think you want more? What if he is it? I wander back to our table, lost in contemplation. There's got to be more though right? People wouldn't describe Love as something magical and wonderful if it wasn't truly..
"There you are Anjali! We were about to send out a search party," Ashton breaks in to my thoughts.
"Did you get the book you were looking for? We're ready to head out to dinner," Emery adds.
"Hmm?" I reply, looking up. "Oh, no, forgot. Yeah, let's go to dinner."
"You okay?" Lucy asks, frowning in concern.
"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Just thinking about something," I fake a smile and pack up my bag. All through dinner I try to push the thoughts and doubts out of my mind. I manage to smile and giggle as we toss popcorn around in the dorm and gossip about the possible reunion of the Weird Sisters. But my heart is not in it, and my friends can probably tell, though they don't press me. I know I should talk to them about it, see if they have any advice. But I don't even know what the problem is, I can't even fully articulate it to myself much less describe it to another person. And though I've known these girls for seven years, and shared almost everything with them since we were tiny, shy eleven year olds, a small part of me is still afraid they'll judge me.
As I lay awake in bed, listening to the sounds of deep breathing that fill the room, I can't get this out of my head. I feel the anxiety building in my chest. The anxiety that is telling me to run far far away, and digging my heels into the ground trying to turn the other way when I think of continuing with Fred. And I just don't get it. He's a great guy. Funny, sweet, caring, intelligent. Everything I could ever want in a guy. And he wants ME of all people. He think's I'm cute, and attractive. Then WHY am I feeling so- so- so icky whenever I think about even going on a date with him. I picture he and I sitting down at that new restaurant in Hogsmeade we'd talked about trying out, and the rational part of my mind is telling me it'll be fine. We get on fine hanging out alone. But the anxiety bubbles up again. With a groan I turn over and bury my face in my pillow. I'm getting stronger feelings from a guy who acts like a prick than from the guy who kissed me.
Oh merlin. What have I gotten myself into?
The next week flies by in a haze of schoolwork and Fred. Professors are beginning to assign more and more homework in preparation for our midterm exams in December, so Fred and I begin to study together a lot. I find he's funny and sweet, and basically the best boyfriend material ever, but something still feels off.
Saturday morning I wake up earlier than usual and decide to get out of bed. Which is highly unusual, considering I'd normally not leave my bed until I was absolutely dying of hunger or need to pee. But I get out of bed, change into a comfortable pair of jeans and my favorite Hufflepuff jumper, and head down to dinner, leaving Ash, Em and Taiga still sleeping.
The Great Hall is empty, except for a lone figure at the Gryffindor table, the Hufflepuff quidditch team, the Ravenclaw team, and me.
"Good luck on your match today guys," I say walking near the Hufflepuff team.
"Thanks Anjali," Brandon Sloper, a chaser in my year, calls back to me as I continue walking down the table.
I glance back over at the Gryffindor table beside me and realize the lone Gryffindor is James. I grab a muffin from the basket and hesitate. Sit with James or sit alone? I mean James and I are friends right? Or like acquaintances? I'm really good friends with his cousin… and even better friends with his other cousin, eyyy;). Shaking my head, but mentally congratulating myself for that quip I make my way over to him.
His back is to me, and he jumps a little when I sit down next to him.
"Hey James," I casually sit on the bench and begin to eat my muffin.
"Oh, hi," he mumbles and stares moodily back to his cereal.
"Everything okay?"
"Oh yeah yeah, I'm fine," he sighs. "Just didn't get enough sleep last night."
"Tell me about it, Ash had me up until like 4 am finishing my Herbology paper." I finish my muffin and reach for an apple. "It'll be nice tonight though, we can party up after Hufflepuff crushes those silly Ravenclaws."
This time he lets out a real laugh.
"Hahaha yeah, you puffs better pull through and beat those birds." He turns to look at me smiling, "After how they beat us, Hufflepuff pretty much has almost all of Gryffindor cheering for them."
"Almost all?" I chuckle.
"Well, Scorpius is cheering for Ravenclaw, probably because Rose would murder him if he didn't."
We both laugh, and suddenly the conversation is so much easier.
"Well, once we beat the Ravennerds, who says we won't take down the mighty lions too?"
"Oh please, have you even seen the Gryffindor team?" and he happily launches into a tirade of how seamless the teamwork is as I sit back and let him rant on.
"Ah two of my favorite people," calls a voice, putting a hand on each of our shoulders. I look up to see Fred smiling at us. As he sits down on my other side I glance at James. His relaxed mood is gone and he's back to glowering at his cereal. Weird. He looks up and makes eye contact with me. I can see thoughts whizzing through his head and he seems to make up his mind about something with a slight shake of his head. He smiles at me once more, and I pretend to ignore the spasm that goes through my chest as I smile back.
"So Freddie boy, Anjali was just telling me about how Hufflepuff's going to get so good that they'll beat Ravenclaw and then Gryffindor," James smirks.
"Oh? And how exactly is puffypuff planning on triumphing over the mighty Gryffindor Lions?" Fred teases as he cuts a grapefruit in half.
"Duh, we're more badass than you kittens," I shrug. "Simple as that."
"More badass?" Fred snorts, "How in Merlin's name are you little puffs more badass than us?"
"Fred, mate," James says fighting a smile, "no one can take you seriously when you're eating a grapefruit. Especially like that."
Fred pauses to look up at us. He's eating the fruit out of the citrus with a spoon and sprinkling brown sugar over each spoonful before putting it in his mouth. James and I burst out laughing as Fred sputters and tries to defend his breakfast.
"Fred, what are you eating?! That looks disgusting." Lily says bluntly plopping down across from us. Fred grumbles and pushes his grapefruit plate away from him, stealing another plate he begins to fill it with a heartier breakfast consisting of lots of eggs and meats, prompting James and I to laugh harder.
"There, manly enough for you prats?" He asks, starting on his new plate.
"Not exactly with that sausage in your mouth," James laughs waggling his eyebrows.
"THERE"S JUST NO WINNING WITH YOU PEOPLE!" Fred drops his fork and stares grumpily at his plate. Lily just looks at us as if we've gone mental and gets up without a word to sit by her friends. As she does I notice that the Hall is now slowly filling with people and I spot my dormmates over at the Hufflepuff table.
"I'll catch you guys later, after Hufflepuff proves how badass we are," I say standing up. I lean over and press a quick kiss to Fred's cheek, "See you at the afterparty?" I say in a low voice and wink back at him as I bounce over to my table. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. Where did THAT come from?! Smirking I slide into the seat next to Taiga, mentally applauding my sudden burst of flirtatious sexiness.
"Hey girls," I say, still smirking.
"Okay, what did you do?" Ashton asks.
"Nothinggggg I swear. I've just recently discovered that I can flirt," I say casually grabbing a piece of bacon. "And I may have also invitedFredtotheafterparty." I blurt the last half.
"Anj, what afterparty?" Taiga says, able to decode my garbled sentence.
"The one I'm just now realizing might not exist…."
"You're a genius, you know that?" She snorts. "Pfft. Inviting a boy to a party that doesn't exist."
"Oh shut up. I'll figure something out."
"You know blowing up a few balloons and putting them around the common room doesn't count as a party," Emery retorts. "Nor does adding streamers to that," she adds, cutting me off as I open my mouth to respond. I close my mouth and cross my arms with a huff.
"I was going to say confetti." I say shortly.
"Lin and Flint are neck and neck, both after that elusive gold ball. Lin takes a dive, in an attempt to shake Flint off her tail, but he doesn't take the bait!" The commentator, some 5th year, shouts getting progressively louder. The score is 40-80 Ravenclaw, and it's not looking too bright for my afterparty seduction plans. But just as Ravenclaw had scored their last goal, Avery Flint, the Hufflepuff seeker, had spotted the snitch hovering above the Ravenclaw seeker, and barreled straight towards her tipping her off to the snitch near her. And thus began the epic chase for the snitch. As the Ravenclaw seeker dove to throw Flint off, Flint instead shot almost straight up in the air after the snitch.
"AND FLINT CATCHES IT!" The yellow part of the crowd explodes into cheers, joined by the Gryffindors.
"YES!" I shout grabbing onto Taiga and jumping up and down. "AFTERPARTY IN THE COMMON ROOM!"
"Eeesh okay okay, calm yourself."
AN: I'm not JK Rowling, BUT REVIEW ANYWAY