Chapter Twelve: Do or Die till the End

James let his back fall against the door bracing himself because his knees felt weak. The banging continued for a minute or two shaking the entire door causing James to push hard against it afraid the beast would break through. He closed his eyes tight and took a deep breath trying to take in everything that had just happened. No more secrets, that's for sure. Then there was the look he caught on Remus's face, if you could even call what he saw behind the door Remus, when he pulled the door shut; contorted and angry yet afraid and weak. James took another deep breath and opened his eyes.

Sirius picked himself up from the ground with his arms and did a slow backwards crawl until he felt the strong wall of the tunnel hit his back. They all watched as Sirius lifted his face looking Sky in the eyes who was a foot away from him on her hands and knees. Peter fell to his knees no longer having the strength to stand. Everyone was silent.

Sky crawled closer to Sirius and finally broke the silence. Her voice was trembling and small, "Don't you see Sirius, don't you see how horrible it is?"

Sirius's mouth dropped open trying to speak but he couldn't find the words, he only watched as Sky's beautiful eyes welled up with crystal clear tears. He lifted a hand up and whipped them off of her cheeks. Sky took his hand into her own and looked into his eyes searching for some sort of answer, "Sirius, say something."

All he could do was pull his hand back to himself and rub them over his eyes. He was feeling overwhelmed and a little sick; he was starting to wish he'd left the door shut. Through his fingers Sky was able to make out Sirius's mumbling; it sounded like he was trying to hold back tears as well, "You were right, I feel like a complete ass."

He took his face out of his hands and Sky's heart dropped when she saw the deep grey eyes she knew so well glossed over and a single tear running down Sirius's face. She immediately threw her arms around her friend and pulled him into a warming hug for she knew exactly what he was feeling. It was just like the moment they told Remus and his family what would be; she remembers it like the day she met him, clear as ever. Sitting in Remus's living room, not being aloud upstairs, waiting for any news…it really was her fault. She hugged Sirius closer because the feeling was rushing back to her.

Before the two embracing friends knew it James and Peter were down on their knees comforting them; they could all sense it, things were going to change.

Remus was absent from school longer than they had expected. After the night of the full moon they returned to the tower where they went to sleep awaiting the morning where they would hopefully see Remus in classes, when he didn't return immediately Sky reassured the guys that usually he spent a day or so in the hospital wing recovering. Yet, it had been more than a day or so and they were starting to worry.

The hospital wing was run by a prehistoric woman all the students called Madam Tibbey; she was small and frail and moved at the speed of a hasty turtle. Even though all the teachers were aware that Sky knew of Remus's condition Madam Tibbey never let her in to see Remus after a full moon, she'd always shake a finger in Sky's face and scold, "Not you again Miss. White! You and your friends send enough students my way everyday, I don't need you in here causing any more problems!"

But then there was Poppy. Poppy was Madam Tibbey's assistant, she was younger than the old bat so she was much more understanding to Sky's dilemmas, if she couldn't sneak Sky in to Remus's private quarters she was at least able to relay messages and give her news on his condition. So Sky figured she'd take a stroll by the hospital wing and see if she could get an update.

"Oye Poppy!" Sky called as she saw the older blonde woman pushing a cart into the hospital wing.

"Sky, dear, is there something the matter?"

Sky caught up with the medical assistant and helped her push the cart into the hospital wing, looking around cautiously to make sure Madam Tibbey wasn't there. Poppy smiled, "Don't worry Sky, she's not here, seems there was some incident over in the greenhouses that she had to go tend to. Now what can I help you with?"

"Well it's just that Remus has been gone for longer than usual and I wanted to make sure he was alright. I've just wanted to talk to him about some stuff."

"Oh dear, of course, it seems that this month was a bit rougher than usual. That's all it is really, we just wanted to make sure all his scratches are healed up before we send him back into classes."

"Is there anyway I could see him?"

Poppy's smile faded, "Sorry Sky, not this time, he was a bit weird when he came in the other morning and he asked to be left alone, no visitors but don't worry he'll be out in no time." And with that she left Sky standing in the middle of the hospital wing.

At dinner that night Sky told the boys what had happened that afternoon when she tried to go see Remus. Peter put down his fork and said to the group, "You think he's real mad at us, you know for sneaking around and such. Maybe that's why he's been gone so long, milking his injuries for all they're worth to stay in the wing longer?"

"This is ridiculous; he just can't hide in there forever! We all need to talk to him and I for one am sick of waiting around for him to grow a pair and come back to classes." said Sirius before he shoved a buttered roll into his mouth.

James perked up as a sneaky smile fell across his face. Sirius raised an eyebrow a said, while spitting bread crumbs all over the table, "James, that smile is way too devious for a Potter, if I didn't know any better I'd say you were a Black."

He looked across the table at his best friend and said, "No not a Black, just a plan. Who ever said we had to sit around and wait for Remus to leave the hospital wing?"

It all dawned on them the second James said it…the invisibility cloak.

"Ouch! Peter that was my foot!" whispered Sirius as the four second years made their way down to the hospital wing squeezed tightly under the cloak.

"Sorry Sirius, it's too dark!"

"Here guys we've got to go this way" said James as he directed them to the right.

"James no, it's left" argued Sky.

Sirius laughed, "We need a map. It's definitely left James, come on."

James huffed and led them left instead and of course the hospital wing was found just around the corner. It was pitch black throughout the castle, the only light being moonlight that the windows let in. It was way past curfew, almost one in the morning, so the hospital staff was sure to be asleep leaving the hospital wing completely unoccupied except for the exact person they were looking for.

"Coast is clear." James announced as he pulled the invisibility cloak off him and his friends making them visible to the empty room they stood in. The room was quite large with plain white hospital beds lining the walls on each side. A small night stand was found to the left of each bed and a long rolling cart at each foot. The hospital wing was dimly lit by tiny floating candles and at the far end of the room there was a long white curtain pulled across from one wall to the other.

"That's where Remus stays." Said Sky as she pointed toward the curtain.

"Not really high security is it?" remarked Peter

"Well Peter, he's a danger to no one after the moon so there's no reason to keep him all isolated. The only reason he's even behind a curtain is to keep his story straight."

Peter nodded understanding Sky's reasoning then looked to the other boys. James signaled for them to go ahead with their plan. Like he had said at dinner, if Remus wasn't going to have to guts to face his friends and come to them than they were going to him. They wanted to see Remus, wanted to hear his story and understand his pain. They wanted to strengthen the friendship that they all shared and that they could not do with Remus hidden in the hospital wing for days. So with that in mind, the four teenagers made their way toward the white curtain.

Remus was half asleep for his fourth night in the hospital wing. He hadn't been able to truly sleep a deep sleep ever since the full moon. The last thing he remembered was lying on the dusty wooden floor of the shrieking shack transforming for yet another night when he heard the door open and Sirius Black standing in the doorway stunned. Next thing he knew he was lying once again on the same floor weaker than ever with Madam Tibbey leaning over him. He'd been in the hospital wing ever since not daring to leave for he knew what was waiting for him, judging eyes and discriminating faces.

"Shhh shut your trap or you'll wake him!" came a harsh voice.

"Um, isn't that why we're here?" replied a sarcastic second.

"Don't be such a prat."

Then Remus heard a soft third, "Guys, shut up and get on the bed."

"Wait guys I think he's awake." and there was the mousey fourth.

Remus opened his eyes and saw not the last thing he expected, but the thing he dreaded most. "I was starting to wonder when you would finally show up." He announced in a weak, scratchy voice.

Sky crawled up on the bed next to him putting an arm around his shoulders while the three boys sat by his feet which he had pulled up closer to his body for comfort. He knew it wouldn't be long before they showed; his friends were a stubborn and determined group of boys. He looked slowly from face to face trying to read what they were thinking and to his surprise they looked more worried than disgusted.

"Remus, how are you feeling?" asked Sky grabbing Remus's attention again.

"I'm not really sure yet, it's been a rough couple days." There was an awkward silence then Remus decided to speak up again, "Well, you all sneak down here in the middle of the night and none of you have anything to say?"

The boys exchanged looks hoping the other would speak up. Sky had told them she was leaving the talking up to them considering the fact that Remus understood where she stood in the whole situation. So James finally decided to start the process, "Um well, what exactly is it like to be a were-"

"What's it like to be a werewolf? You guys sneak around behind my back rather than just trust me and invade my privacy and all you have to ask is what its like!?" Remus couldn't believe what he was hearing, his heart was racing and all he wanted to do was scream, "I'll tell you what it's like James. Waking up everyday having to worry about whether or not your friends are going to find out, being afraid to tell them because of what they would think, dreading that one night out of the entire month, fearing the night even when you know there's no full moon. Lying in that dingy old house alone trying so hard to be aware and see through your own eyes but not strong enough to fight off the beast that's tearing through your skin….it's horrible James, the most horrible thing a person would ever have to live with and of course…I do."

Sky pulled Remus towards her letting his head rest on her chest as he choked back tears. She could see this was hurting him and she knew it was the last thing he wanted but she also knew that after the boys knew everything and Remus understood that they still were there for him everything would be ok. So she didn't stop them, she just held Remus and let it all happen.

James leaned forward on the bed, "No, Remus I'm sorry that's not really what I meant by it. It's just; you need to understand where we're coming from. We got nosey and curious, some a little more than others,"

He said as he looked at Sirius, "and it just came as such a huge shock especially when we actually realized we were right."

Peter stepped in, "We just are trying to understand Remus. Cou- Could you maybe tell us how it all happened?"

Remus lifted his head off of Sky and looked at Peter, "I'm sorry. Um- yeah I can do that, Sky is that alright?"

Sky looked at Remus and nodded her head, she understood why he would ask her if she was ok with him sharing the story and she figured that they would have to hear it sooner or later. She knew it would be tough to hear the story again for they hadn't talked about it in years but she told herself to let Remus get through the entire event because the boys needed to hear it. Remus turned back to his three friends looking specifically at Sirius, who was yet to say a word,

"It all started back at home when we were about seven. We were only allowed to play in the meadows between our houses so our parents could keep an eye on us and call for us if we were needed but of course that wasn't fun enough for two seven year olds." He smiled at Sky and continued, "She was in love with the woods and I can understand why. They were enchanting, quiet and serene and still are. We used to find some of the most beautiful creatures, even saw a unicorn once. But I guess we started to get carried away and each time we felt the need to go further and further in search of something new. We'd been up to our adventures for about two months, our parents had no clue. Then one night came the full moon."

Remus shifted in his seat and took a deep breath, "Sky was picking flowers, her moms' always teaching her how to tie them together into bracelets and such and Sky loved to bring them back from the forest. It was getting late and I told her we should head home and I started to make my way back towards my family's cottage. I turned back to notice Sky hadn't been following me when I heard her scream…"

He stopped and seemed unable to continue. Sky saw the look on his face and thought she should help him out even if it did mean telling the worst part of the story herself, "I screamed because there was a man. We'd never seen people in the woods, a centaur or two from a distance was the closest we ever came, but there was something odd about this man. He was stumbling towards me with his hands outreached as though asking for help but when he looked at me I knew help wasn't what he wanted. He wanted me. You could see his sick desire in his eyes and I just thought he was mad but then it happened, the moon came out all the way and well…he transformed. It was a werewolf, we'd only ever read about them in books and it was almost as if they weren't real but there he was, big and very real. He just looked so evil coming towards me and I thought it was over, but that's when Remus showed."

She looked at Remus and rubbed a warm hand across his back shoulders, "I remember him coming up behind the man who had to have been three times our size and nailing him in the back of the head with a large branch. The werewolf fell to the ground and Remus grabbed me and pulled me into a sprint back towards the valley." Tears slowly started to roll down her cheeks but she continued, "Then as we were running we got pulled back. It was the werewolf, he'd caught up with us and lunged for Remus knocking him to the ground and before I knew it he was biting into you like you were just some meal" she looked Remus in the eyes, "It was my entire fault Remus."

Remus whipped the tears from her face and looked at the guys, "She's crazy I tell you, if it weren't for her of course I wouldn't be a werewolf…I'd be dead. Before we were ever old enough to use magic or own wands Sky was causing things to happen without even thinking about it. It was probably the most amazing thing I've ever seen a witch do but somehow she's never been able to do it again. She dropped down to the ground, as though there was no thought behind it, and ran her fingers into the dirt, the ground all around her lit up and suddenly these weeds shot out of the ground and shot straight at the werewolf. He was thrown off me and eventually ran away. It was brilliant."

"Brilliant! Remus you were almost killed, it wasn't brilliant it was lucky."

"Sky, it's in the past now and we can't change what I am so I might as well admire your incredible magic for what it was. Either way she got rid of him then helped me up and we made it back to my home where my parents contacted St. Mungo's Hospital. That's how it happened; Dumbledore's the only headmaster to allow me to attend his school."

"Did they ever identify the man who bit you?" asked James

"Actually yes they have, but they don't know much about him. Like most werewolves he's unattached to society, unemployed and unapproachable but he goes by the name Greyback. Apparently, he even bites people when he's not transformed. It's sick really."

Again they all fell silent; taking in everything that Remus and Sky had told them. No wonder they were so close, look at what they'd been through. Even though it was Remus who was the werewolf, Sky was right there when it happened and felt just as responsible as anyone but of course there was Remus thanking her for preventing worse.

The handsome but worn out boy looked up at his three roommates. His eyes were filled with hope and need for acceptance from them and said, "I can't change what I am, and all I can do is pray that you'll accept me for that."

Finally Sirius spoke up, "I have something to show you." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a large ring. It was gold and held a black onyx diamond; the sides of the ring were carved out to the letter 'B'. He held it out flat in his hand out to Remus, "Ever seen this?"

Remus examined the ring then shook his head no.

"That's because it sits in the bottom of my school trunk as deep down as I can get it wrapped in an old pair of socks. It's my Black family ring, we all have one. You see Remus, I hide it. I hide it as if it not being seen makes it not exist but it doesn't. No matter what I do with this ring I will be what I am, a Black, and there's absolutely nothing I can do to change that. All we can do is embrace what we are and prove people wrong…that's why I keep it, to remind myself what I am and who I want to be. We couldn't possibly judge you Remus; you're a better person than anyone in this room regardless of what you are."

A smile fell across Remus's face as he clasped his hand on Sirius's shoulder. Sirius smiled back as he shoved the ring he hated so much back into his pocket. There wasn't anything left to say, they all looked at one another and understood the unspoken sense of companionship. Just then, Peter spoke up, "Let's make a vow!"

Sky giggled and asked, "What kind of vow Peter?"

"I don't know something about always being there for each other."

"And always being truthful and loyal." added Sirius.

James laughed, "I love how the Black throws in the bit about being truthful, you're the king of lying through your teeth!"

Sirius punched James in the arm, "Marauders for life."

Peter looked at Sirius, "Marauders? What's a marauder?"

"You know, like a prowler, those people who go around causing trouble; always searching for something bigger."

"Sirius, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard-" started Remus as he laughed.

Sky interrupted him, "No way Remus, I like it! I mean half the time that's what we're doing, sneaking around and causing trouble."

"Yeah, I mean look at us now, sneaking around after curfew." inquired James.

Suddenly Sirius pulled out his wand and announced, "Incendio!" lighting the tip on fire. He turned to James and told him "Give me your left hand."

"Why?

"This is why." He said as he jabbed himself on the top of his hand between his thumb and pointer finger. "Come on" and he passed the wand to James.

James did the same and passed it to Peter, then Sky, then Remus. They all flinched with pain of but didn't argue; they all burned themselves in the same place willingly and happily.

Remus smiled and as he handed the wand back to Sirius he said, "Well than so it be, shall we vow to always be Marauders. Do or die till the end."

Remus's secret was out; there was nothing left to hide. The five friends only grew closer and learned to understand each other better. The rest of the school year went by in a flash, from the end of classes to exams, from the farewell feast to the train ride back to platform nine and three quarters. The ride home was the same as always, full of laughter and stories, but one thing was different… they all didn't see it as the ride home. Home was back at the castle where there were no secrets and the friendships were stronger than ever.

Sorry it took me so long to get this one up, I had it done for the most part but then I went to the Keys for family vacation without internet. But here it is, hope you enjoy! Reviews are much loved!

-DMC