I'm sorry it took a bit longer than usual for the update.. Apparently, my cat thought it was fun to jump on my computer, pressing the delete button in the process.. :(
Either way, here we are.. And thank you all for the wonderful reviews..:D Enjoy..:D
A week after Dimitri Smirnov's death, Aaron was still in Demre. He hadn't really planned to remain that long there, thinking that two, three days at best, would have been enough of a time to reorganize his mind and the details of his next trip. But his stay there had been full of surprises indeed, the first being the large amount of documents and folders he had found in the bag Dimitri had handed him in Istanbul: they had been way more than he had expected and he had to carefully read all of them, word by word. And that was the task he was obliging right then, at 3 am in the morning, sitting in the living room of the house.
Aaron sighed deeply, trying to wash away his tiredness and walked towards the kitchen to refill his mug of coffee. As he went back to his previous spot, he glanced at the beautiful woman lying on the couch right next to him: Marta had resolutely refused to go to bed alone and she had stayed there with him, not even bothered by his protests. The woman was beyond stubborn and that was the other reason he still hadn't left: Marta was everything but fine. Her nausea was a living nightmare, she was constantly exhausted and the doctor had given her strict orders to rest and avoid any kind of stress. Things she had already known, since she had a medical degree herself, nonetheless she had shrugged those warnings away like they were meaningless. And they really were, because it was kind of difficult to relax when your life is nothing but a giant lie and sleepless nights filled with fears and sorrow. As he walked closer to her figure and tugged her tighter in the blanket, Aaron sighed again: he was honest enough with himself to admit he didn't care about the documents, he had stayed for her and her only.
Aaron stared at Marta for a few moments, then he sat on the floor, his back leaning against the sofa, as he tried to focus his attention on the files scattered all over the coffee table. There were pictures of several people, mostly unknown to him. Besides Eric Byer, a man he had unfortunately met many times, there were other persons he had never seen before: analysts, psychologists, CIA employees and all of them had worked with the former colonel. He picked up the picture of a woman, whose name was apparently Dita Mandy and looked at it for a minute, until he felt Marta moving behind him. He turned towards her, his hand immediately cupping her cheek to reassure her, his thumb stroking it gently.
"Aaron.." she whispered, leaning in his touch, her eyes still closed.
"Shh.. Sleep, Doc..I'm right here" he answered. He watched as she moved closer to him, mumbling something he didn't understand and he kept caressing her face until she was asleep again. He shook his head lightly glancing one more time at the picture now in his lap, then he sighed in defeat: in the latest days had been almost impossible for him to focus. And Aaron kept wondering if he was completely losing his mind.
Aaron Cross's self-control was legendary. He was a man of endless patience, he was a man who feared nothing and he himself couldn't remember a time when he had actually been startled or unsettled by something, anything. He had learnt to be that way, he had to be that way in order to stay alive. In his life he had dealt with bullets, water-boarding, master assassins chasing him: still, Aaron couldn't really remember a single time he had even flinched. It was a second nature, it was the inhuman part in him, it was the blue side of his brain that was able to calculate and anticipated every move, every step, every word. Nothing could get under his skin. Nothing, except her.
When he had realized Marta was pregnant, even then, he hadn't been surprised. They had still been in Mombasa planning their departure and all it had taken for him to draw to that conclusion, had been looking at her. She had been brushing her hair in the early morning, wearing nothing but her panties and he hadn't missed how her usual beauty had been somehow different: her breasts had been more rounded, her skin had been softer, her eyes had been sparkling with a light he had never seen before. And while he had been watching her, the doubt already cradling in his mind, he had realized she had been late. And he had been sure of it, because the hidden clock in his head had never been able to forget dates, not to mention how personal space had always been inexistent between the two of them: after Manila, when they had been running throughout Malaysia, privacy had never really been an option and by the time they had settled in Kenya, they had already been so accustomed and so dependant from each other that it had been pointless to question their total lack of boundaries.
Aaron had known instantly he had been right, yet, he hadn't lost his usual calm. He hadn't panicked and the pregnancy itself hadn't unsettled him that much, the rational part of him thinking that probably it had been only out of luck it hadn't happened before: they hadn't been totally careless, still they had spent most of the year naked in each other arms, so it wasn't something completely out of the blue. What had really startled him, what had really bothered him, had been his first, instinctive reaction: he had smiled. He had smiled and for a brief, short second he had felt a thud of joy knocking at his chest. It hadn't lasted though: he had switched his gaze from Marta, his eyes had caught the maps and the glock on the bed and reality had sank into his brain. And he had been unsettled by his own feelings, because the moment Aaron had realized she was pregnant, the moment he had realized he was actually happy about it, something else had immediately become clear to him too: he wasn't just an agent anymore. He wasn't just Aaron Cross, the well trained spy: he was Aaron Wilson too, a man, an husband, someone who didn't care about weapons and international conspiracies, someone who just wanted the chance to think about the future.
Aaron laid his head against the couch, his gaze wandering through the room. He eyed Marta's purse on the shelve near the door and stared at it: he knew the ultrasound was hidden there. He shook his head and closed his eyes: he didn't want to see it, he couldn't do it. He couldn't, because he knew an entire army was probably less dangerous for him than his own feelings. He couldn't, because that first night he had spent in Demre, playing with unrealistic dreams and forbidden hopes had cost him a break down in Marta's arms, it had caused him a pain he was sure it was going to hurt for the rest of his life. Aaron Wilson was longing to see that picture, Aaron Wilson felt like he was nothing but a selfish bastard who was abandoning his wife when she needed him the most. But point was, Aaron Wilson could do nothing to keep her safe, to keep them safe: Agent Cross, Outcome n.5, was the one he really needed to be, even if he didn't want to. And that was exactly why, after that first night, he had never spoken about the pregnancy again, because if he had let his feelings take control over him, he would have never left. Indeed, he still had to leave. He had to leave, because maybe he had changed, but the world outside was nothing but the same old scary place it had always been. And there was no way he would have let it destroy the only precious, wonderful thing that had come out of his shitty life.
Aaron turned to Marta, he watched as she moved in her sleep. He took gently her hand in his and brought it to his lips to kiss her palm. He kissed her wrist, her fingers, he kissed her wedding ring: she was an amazing woman, she was his amazing woman. She was the woman who understood him like no one else could and in the latest days, she had played along with his denial: she hadn't said anything, she hadn't asked, she had hidden the ultrasound, because she had realized immediately how everything was tearing him apart. And he still had no idea how she could do that, how she could love someone like him.
Aaron sighed deeply and rose from the floor: it was almost 4 am in the morning and he knew he wasn't going to read the files anymore. He looked at Marta's uncomfortable position on the couch and bent down to pick her up in his arms. She stirred a little, but she didn't wake, she just buried her face in his shoulder, her arms instinctively wrapping around his neck. And while he was carrying her upstairs, her sweet scent intoxicating him, Aaron vaguely recalled a day he had spent in Moscow years before. He remembered the blood and the pain, he remembered burning objects against his own flesh. As he carefully laid Marta down on the bed, he thought that right then he would have gladly endured everything all over again: it had hurt him way less than the thunder now in his heart.
Eric Byer looked at the report from Turkey for the hundredth time that day. He read once again every single page of it, his anger and frustration displayed clearly in his posture. He glanced at Zev Veldev who was sitting at the other side of the table and shook his head in disbelief: Cross was leaving a trail of dead bodies behind him, they had no idea where he was and they still had no clue about his next move. Only one thing Byer knew for sure: he was coming. Sooner than later, Cross would come knocking at their door, looking for revenge.
"Two bullets in the head.." Veldev said, looking at his computer "execution style.. And the delivery truck thing makes impossible to say where he was killed.."
Byer sighed "It doesn't matter, Cross is already somewhere else.." he glanced at the file on his desk again "Twelve bodies. Twelve bodies just in Turkey.."
Veldev interrupted him, frowning "Maybe hiring Smirnov wasn't such a good idea.."
Byer shook his head at the other man "Smirnov, Larx.. It doesn't matter who we send, they are going to end up dead.." he took a look outside the window, then he whispered "He's coming.."
Dita Mandy entered the room, interrupting the conversation. Her expression was unmistakable.
"What?" Veldev asked her.
The woman sighed deeply "Jason Bourne. He was seen in New Orleans yesterday.."
Marta frowned once again at the still untouched plate of rice in front of her. She sighed, not sure if what was annoying her more was its smell or how Aaron kept glancing at her from the other side of the table. She kept playing with the fork in her hand, until Aaron stood up from his sit and took everything away from her, putting both the plate and the fork in the sink. Marta rolled her eyes at his actions.
"Really?" she asked exasperated "I'm not a twelve years old girl.."
Aaron grinned at her, a malicious glint in his eyes "Oh, Doc, believe me.. I know you're not.."
Marta tried to stop the smile at the corner of her mouth, shaking her head "You're a pig.."
Aaron laughed and raised an eyebrow at her "And you didn't realize that before? Really?" he leant towards her, giving a quick kiss to her lips. Then he put on the table the pills the doctor had prescribed her and the ginger roots jar.
"Here, take this" he said in a more serious tone. He watched to make sure she did as told and only when she obliged he went back sitting on his chair. He immediately started analyzing again the documents right in front of him, trying to keep himself focused and avoiding her gaze.
Marta studied his face from her spot, she looked at his posture, at his hands, at his fingers flipping through the papers: she knew he was worried about her, as much as she knew how everything was just bothering him to no end. They hadn't talk about any of it off course, but Marta had stopped wondering how they managed to get each other so effortlessly a long time before. Their relationship was a strange alchemy no science would ever be able to explain, there was no biology study that could demonstrate the nature of the deep bond they shared. Maybe she wasn't trained in reading people as he was, still she could read him perfectly and Marta knew in the latest days he had been torturing himself with guilt and concern. Aaron had fallen apart in her arms his first night there and as if that hadn't been enough already, something she had never thought as even possible had actually happened: she had caught him off guard. He had been staring at her pursue, where he knew she had the ultrasound, so lost in his mind that he hadn't even heard her coming next to him. And that was enough of a sign, since Aaron was usually hyper-aware of everything moving around him.
Marta sighed deeply, tearing her gaze away from the handsome man right in front of her and she looked at her bag hung near the door. She knew how deep his desire of seeing that small picture was, even though he had stubbornly refused to do so and despite everything, she understood perfectly why. Unable to find any other solution, Marta had just tried her best to support him and played along: and it didn't matter how her own pain felt like a sharp blade in her chest, it didn't matter how scared, how terrified of losing him she was. If that was what he needed, then she wouldn't question it.
Marta heard Aaron's voice and she turned to face him. He was handing her a picture and one of the news paper among the several he had been studying for the past week. She took a deep breath and focused her attention on him.
"Have you ever seen this man?" he asked
Marta looked at the photos and frowned "Doctor Hirsch? Yeah I know him.."
"Did he work with you at the lab?" Aaron inquired, taken aback by her answer.
Marta shook her head "No. I just met him a couple of times. He was a friend of Doctor Hillcott.."
He nodded thoughtfully "Yeah, I remember him..". Hillcott had been the medical director of the program and Aaron had met him several times over the years.
"Are you sure you don't know anything about Treadstone?" Aaron asked her.
Marta rolled her eyes at him "I don't know how many other times I have to tell you: I know nothing about it. And I don't know any of these people.." she said, annoyance clear in her voice. In the past days, Aaron had inquired her multiple times, showing her files and papers Smirnov had given him. Apparently, Aaron had asked the Russian to gather information about his former employer, a man named Eric Byer and whoever had been working with him. The documents contained information such as addresses, family status, past working experiences and Marta had been smart enough not to ask what the purpose of it all was. But besides Smirnov's files, Aaron had been studying old journals too, the main topic of research being a CIA program called Treadstone and Jason Bourne, another agent.
"This man" he said pointing at Hirsch's picture "was the director of Treadstone.."
Marta glanced at the paper one more time and nodded in understanding "So Treadstone and Outcome are probably related.." she sighed, watching as Aaron started to gather everything from the table and put it back in his backpack. "What about Landy?"
"There's still an on-going investigation about Treadstone, BlackBriar and Bourne. And I highly doubt I can find the whole story watching the news..I have to talk to her.." he answered.
Marta looked at him, a terrified expression on her face "You could walk into a trap.."
Aaron glanced at her and she spotted the glint of humor in his eyes "Really?"
But she wasn't in the mood for a joke: he could have got himself killed. She felt the panic rushing in her blood. "Why didn't you ask Smirnov to get these information too?"
Aaron kept working with his bag and answered without looking at her "Doc.. You don't go to a Russian spy telling him that the US government have genetically modified super-soldier.." he sighed and raised his head towards her "Do you know why Smirnov wasn't going to kill you?"
Marta stayed silent for a moment, recalling what Dimitri had told her " He said he had a debt with you.."
Aaron laughed bitterly at her answer "No, not really.. He didn't give a crap about that, Doc, trust me…" He thought for a few seconds, then he kept talking " He put the dots together. A very skilled agent and a scientist running for their lives? Smirnov was a smart man, the moment Byer asked for his help, he knew something else was going on.. And he wanted you to tell him what it was.." he paused and looked at Marta " Doc, you are far more valuable than I am and this is why I staged your death.. If other agencies found out about the program, you would have been be in everyone's wish list.."
Marta interrupted him, astonished "What?"
Aaron stared at her, shaking his head lightly " All in all, I'm just an asset. Yes, I can do things normal people can't do, but I still can't survive a bullet in my head.. You, on the other hand, have the knowledge to create as many as me as you want.."
The words stung to her, like a slap in the face. She watched as Aaron checked his fake passports and few other things he had in the backpack, trying not to cry right in front of him. No, she couldn't create anyone else like him, there was no one else on earth like him and it would never be. He wasn't just blue and green pills: he was the maddening, frightening, sexy man who was giving up everything for her. He was irreplaceable and that had nothing to do with his enhancement.
Aaron stood and went near the door, checking his leather jacket. Marta watched as he did so, another thought occurring to her mind. She raised from the chair and she came closer to him.
"When?" She asked in a whisper, her eyes filled with tears.
"Tomorrow morning.." he answered. Aaron turned to look at her, the jacket still in his hands. The moment their eyes met, unspoken truths and unforgivable hopes passed between them. He hastily threw the jacket away and suddendly grabbed her face, his lips crashing onto hers and Marta found herself pinned against the wall, breathless and trembling.
And hours later, as Aaron's mouth was still traveling all over her shivering body, Marta thought for a moment that pleasure was nothing but cruel. And love was nothing but painful.
Marta woke up the next morning in the silence of the house, her naked skin tangled in sheets and blankets. The moment she opened her eyes she knew instantly Aaron had left. She sat on the bed, trying to keep her breath steady and she looked aimlessly around the room.
Despite herself, despite everything, a small, sad smile cradled on her lips: the ultrasound was on the pillow next to hers. She took it in her hands and she noticed Aaron's handwriting on the back of the picture.
"You know right? You know that I love you.."