Disclaimer:

I do not own Durarara! Or its characters. This is a fan fiction made purely for the enjoyment of others. Before reading this story there are 2 things you should know;

1 This story contains MALExMALE relationships.

If you do not like that sort of thing then this story is not for you.

2 This story contains child abuse on a high level, if you have a problem with that then once again this story is not for you.

Thank you.

This is a story created by me and Kurgy. The main concept was developed by both her and I, so any credit for this story also goes to her.

Well we've gotten to see some of the funnier side of this story, but unfortunately, its time to get back to the serious stuff.

Shizuo's POV:

Actually realizing what I just said, I panicked.

Did I just ask Izaya out?

As friends of course, I mean what else could we be?…but still, I asked him out didn't I?

I didn't know what I was trying to do, it just kind of came out. And judging by the way he's looking at me, he's just as surprised (if not disgusted) as I am.

"What I meant to say…was…"

Not quite sure where I was going with that sentence.

"Get out."

I froze. What?

"Get. Out."

I looked at him, looking for any signs of his playful attitude, hoping he'd turn around and laugh, saying it was all a joke, like he did before. I waited, and waited, but he looked at me as if I hadn't been here for over seven hours.

"Didn't you hear me? I said get out!"

Suddenly he was on his feet and screaming at he at the top of his lungs. I didn't know what to say. Talk about mood swing.

"But…why?" I have every right to be curious.

Instantly I saw Mairu and Kururi at the top of the stairs, watching with surprised expressions at their brothers odd behavior.

"Just get out." he said dangerously.

And just like that, there was a knife at my throat. I don't know where he got, I'm fairly certain he didn't have it with him when he was cooking breakfast, but now it was clasped tightly in his hand as it sat a couple centimeters away from my jugular.

This is…how it should be. This is normal. I shouldn't be surprised by his actions, or the hate so visible in his expression, yet…

The pain in my chest is almost unbearable.

In just a matter of hours I've become so used to his playful smirk and mocking voice. Acting as if we were friends. When in reality nothing between us has changed. He hates me, and I should hate him, the way I always have. Heh. How many times have I said this line? How many more times will I sat it?

He hates me and I hate him.

But no matter what I try to tell myself, the statement just isn't true anymore. I don't hate him, no matter how much I should, or whatever rights I may have too. I just don't hate him. Hell, I cant even say I dislike him honestly anymore.

What is it, exactly, that I feel for him?

I know I care about him, I want to protect him, ease his suffering, hold him. The way I did last night. I just wanted him to smile. If only for a little while..

My thoughts were cut short by the warm feeling of a thick liquid drizzling down my neck. My blood. Instantly I stood from the couch, making my way slowly towards the door. I looked back at him one final time, I have no idea what I expected to see, but the only thing there was a cold hateful glare gaze and a slightly bloodied knife, pointed in my direction.

I sighed.

I cant even begin to say how much I was hoping it was all a joke. I opened the door and walked as quickly as I could into the hallway and straight toward the elevator. I couldn't even make myself look back.

The walk back home was…quiet, aside from the never ending chatter from the overly crowded streets, but that comes with the territory of living in a big city.

What happened? What went wrong? Was it because of me?

I don't know. Damn it, I just don't know!

Damn it Izaya. No matter what I do, whatever kind of help I try to offer, he keeps dismissing me. Trying as hard as he can to push me away. Why?

…

That man.

This is because of him. Everything is his fault. If he had never come here, things would still be normal. Izaya wouldn't be like this. He wouldn't scream, or cry. He wouldn't be begging for forgiveness for things, that were out of his control. He wouldn't have to be so scared of simply going home. He'd be the same Izaya as always!…but…then I'd still be chasing after him, wouldn't I? I'd still be out there on those streets, running in and out of alleys, following after him as he laughed like a mad man, with me trying to kill him all the while. I wouldn't be feeling…whatever it is that I'm feeling now.

What if…I'd killed him?

Thinking about that makes me cringe.

If I had never found out, if we had kept going as we always have, I'd have just kept hurting him. Over and over again. Just like everybody else.

Has anyone ever tried to get to know him? Probably not. I certainly never tried. I just decided within the first 5 seconds of meeting him that I hated him, and where did that get me?

Simply put, hell.

I put the key into the lock and attempted to open the door to my apartment. Attempted because my hands wouldn't stop shaking for some god awful reason. All I wanted was to sleep the rest of the day away. After finally opening the door and glancing at the clock, I groaned.

1:30 p.m.

It's the middle of the fucking day and all I want is a good nights sleep. But all I can seem to do is think about how badly I fucked up with Izaya…in a totally friendly way, of course. I still don't know what brought on his sudden change in attitude, if there was something I had said or done to set him off, I just didn't know.

…

….

…..

Where's my phone?

…

Fuck.

Author's note's:

Short chapter! ⌂Ok! Well, a few people were expecting a date, and I'm sorry for the lack of one, but the story is nowhere near over and I can guarantee that Shizuo will indeed get another chance. Not saying when that is though. ;D Anyway, the more serious side of the story is going to begin once again so at least the chapters are going to get a little longer again. ^^ which also reminds me, I still need a name for the douche bag uncle! ('Д') I need help. T^T Does anybody have any ideas? It would really help me out!

One more thing. I know about the Durarara! Cover song collection and that the different versions of the characters have different names and personalities (Such as Shizuo=Tsugaru/Delic, Kida=Linda, Izaya=Psyche/Hibiya, Mikado=Tengoku, Kadota=Tsuppari) but I don't know the names, or personalities, of Anri, Shinra, or Celty's. Does anybody know? I suppose its not exactly important, I just really want to know! Please help me. T^T

Any and all reviews are greatly appreciated! Thank you for reading chapter 12!