Kurt and Blaine walked into the choir room to see that Finn was not among the rest of the group. Every head looked up when Kurt cleared his throat, each had various looks of confusion.
"Kurt, why are you here?" Quinn piped up, seeing as though no one else was saying much.
Mercedes jumped on board, "Yeah, Boo. I mean, didn't you want some time to… I don't know-"
"Sit around and mope about something that I can't change?" Kurt shot back harshly, probably too harshly, but he wasn't in the mood for questions. He immediately felt bad for snapping when Mercedes' face fell, "Sorry 'Cedes." He apologized. Blaine squeezed his hand lightly which seemed to get some attention from his glee mates.
Mr. Schue walked over and patted Kurt on the back in what was supposed to be a comforting gesture, but failed, "We're all very sorry for your loss, Kurt. I think we'd all appreciate it if you'd relay the message to your stepmother and Finn for us." He gave a warm smile.
Kurt scuffed his boots on the floor, "I don't exactly live with Finn at the moment." He explained, counting down the seconds until the room burst into outrage.
And three, two, - "I can't believe how selfish you're being!" Rachel stood and walked over to Kurt, getting in his face, "You left Finn and Carole all by alone after what happened?"
Kurt gritted his teeth, taking a step back from the short girl, "Lay off, man-hands." Santana defended, which shocked Kurt.
Rachel huffed, placing her hands on her hips, "You don't think they're upset too? I'm sure Car-"
"Listen, Berry!" Kurt exploded, pulling away from Blaine who didn't even try to restrain him, "Who in the hell do you think you are? Yes, I know that Finn lost his stepfather and Carole lost her husband, but I lost my dad!" He practically screeched, tears welling behind his eyes as his walls started to crack, "My mom died when I was eight years old and all I had was my dad and now he's dead. Both of my parents are dead and I'm a fucking orphan!" The second he said that, the realization hit like a ton of bricks. He was an orphan… Both of his parents were gone.
Blaine must have sensed his discomfort because he pulled him into a tight embrace, doing exactly what Kurt hoped he'd do. "You need to learn when to keep your damn mouth closed." Blaine growled over Kurt's shoulder before ushering Kurt out the doors, "Don't let Rachel's ignorance pull you down, honey." Blaine murmured, caressing the skin at the base of his neck, "Courage." He whispered, pressing a kiss to his temple. Just past Blaine's head, Kurt saw a letterman jacket rounding the corner.
His whole day had started off horribly and it wasn't shaping up to be much better. It was the first time Kurt had been out of Blaine's sight the entire day besides when they were in separate classes. Kurt would walk out of a class and Blaine would already be there. He suspected the other boy cut out of his classes early just to be there when Kurt got out. He'd been slightly annoyed at that fact, but now, he wished Blaine had been waiting for him when he got out of his class.
Instead of Blaine, he was greeted by an irritated Karofsky. The bulky football player gripped him tightly by the collar of his shirt and tugged him into the boys' bathroom before he could make a sound. There were a few guys in there that Karofsky glared at, "Scram." He growled causing the boys to flee the restroom. Kurt tried to pull away and follow them out, but Karofsky had a death grip on his shirt, "Ah, ah, ah, Hummel." Karofsky pushed Kurt to the other side of the room.
His back slammed into the edge of one of the sinks, causing him to hiss in pain, "Karofsky-" Kurt was going to try to reason with the other boy, but he could see by the darkness in his eyes, he was in no mood to stop. Kurt inconspicuously slipped his hand into his pocket and randomly touched the screen in hopes of calling Blaine. He heard the phone ringing as Karofsky advanced on him. There was a voice, so Kurt knew he'd reached someone. "Karofsky, listen…" Kurt said loudly, hoping the person on the line would understand, "Just walk out of the bathroom now so I can leave and walk down the hall to my English class." He said slowly, hoping the person on the phone had gotten the message. "You don't have to do this."
Karofsky cocked his head to the side, giving Kurt a look of feigned confusion as he stalked him, "Don't act like you don't want me." Karofsky pressed, moving into Kurt's personal space, "I know you've been fucking around with the hobbit…" Dave took Kurt's hand and pressed it to his hard-on, "Why don't you try a real man instead?"
Kurt shuddered at Karofsky obscene offer, trying in vain to pull his hand away, "Blaine is more of a man than you will ever be you pretentious douche!" Kurt regretted those words the second the fell from his lips.
Karofsky bared his teeth, shooting a hand up to grip Kurt's throat and press him up against the tiled wall, "Oh, kitty has claws… I like that." Dave pressed his lips onto Kurt's, biting harshly on Kurt's lower lip to gain entrance into his mouth.
Suddenly, the door slammed open. Kurt didn't know who was there, but he silently thanked whoever it was. Karofsky whipped around before a fist was suddenly plowed into his face. Kurt was working on catching his breath, having most of his oxygen cut off by Karofsky's meaty hand. He looked up to see none other than Puck chasing Karofsky towards the door of the bathroom. "Yeah, you better run you punk!" The mohawked teen yelled at the retreating boy. He turned to look at Kurt, seeming awkward, "What the hell was that, man?" He questioned, walking over to Kurt.
Kurt shook his head, spitting into the sink to get rid of the awful taste Karofsky left in his mouth, "How did you-"
"You called me." Puck cut him off, turning on the faucet of one of the sinks to wash the blood off of his fist. "I knew what bathroom you were talking about since we're both in the same English class."
Kurt nodded, biting his lip, "Thanks, Noah."
Puck shuffled around, seeming uncomfortable, "Kurt," He started, "What was Karofsky doing to you?"
He hadn't seen… Kurt could hide it from him. But, is that what he really wanted to do? He could possibly have someone on his side to help protect him. Kurt couldn't tell Blaine and Finn was out. He looked up and into Noah's cautiously concerned eyes before sighing. He couldn't do it. "He was just intimidating me… It was nothing."
Puck could clearly see past his lie, but didn't press it. Instead, he pulled Kurt into a strange 'man hug' and patted his back, "Okay, dude. Just, tell me if you need anything…"
Kurt smiled fondly at him, "Will do." He lied. Puck did a half shrug before letting himself out of the bathroom and leaving Kurt alone. Once Puckerman was gone, Kurt rushed to the sink and turned on the water, cupping his hands and washing out his mouth. He fell to his knees in front of the sink that was still pouring water, breathing heavily.
In a moment of desperation, Kurt reached for his cell phone, which he'd, dropped and called Brett. On about the fourth ring, he picked up, "'Sup?"
"Meet me by the bleachers, now." Kurt got out before hanging up, holding in the sob building in his chest. He got to his feet and practically ran out to the field to wait for Brett. He needed a fix.
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Blaine hadn't seen Kurt in the halls between classes, but he figured he had no reason to worry. What could possibly go wrong in a few minutes? He was working plugging in some numbers on his calculator when the door burst open and an out of breath Puck stumbled in. Blaine scrunched his eyebrows together when the teen looked straight at him.
"Excuse me?" The teacher's shrill voice questioned, staring Puck down, "What is your business here?"
Puck blinked, "I'm, uh… Principal Figgins wants to see Blaine Anderson."
She seemed skeptical but nodded to Blaine to leave. Blaine gathered his things and followed Puck out the door, "Puck, what-"
He was silenced when Puck pulled him down a few halls and into the empty bathroom, "Shit." Puckerman cursed under his breath.
"Puck, what's going on?" Blaine asked, becoming more on edge since as the other boy paced back and forth.
"Hummel's not here…" He muttered, rubbing at the back of his neck.
Hearing that, Blaine stepped forward and restrained Puck from creating a rut in the tile, "What is going on?" He repeated in staccato.
"I'll start from the beginning. So I was just minding my own business, trolling the halls when my cell rang," He started, continuing at Blaine's encouraging nod, "It was from Kurt, which was weird 'cause we don't really call each other or anything." Blaine let out an exasperated sigh, urging Puck to get to the point, "Anyway, he was talking to someone else, but it was like he was trying to get a message out to me or whoever else he was trying to call. He said something about Karofsky letting him go so he could leave the bathroom and go to English class. We're in the same class, so I knew where he was. I went to that bathroom Kurt was talking about and I saw Karofsky pressed all up in his space."
Blaine's eyes widened, "What?"
"Yeah, I know! I got him to leave, but…" He hesitated.
"But what?"
"It looked like he was… kissing Hummel."
Blaine was silent for a moment before turning on his heel, "I'm going to kill him."
He felt a hand grab his shoulder and pull him back, "That's just what it looked like to me, dude. Kurt said he was just intimidating him, like, getting all up in his grill and shit." Puck explained.
"And you believed him?" Blaine yelled incredulously.
Puck blanched, looking down, "I- Well, I…"
Blaine immediately felt bad, "Look, it's not your fault, okay? Kurt… Kurt sometimes hides important things from people, and if I hadn't seen something similar before I wouldn't know what to believe."
Puck raised an eyebrow, "You've seen Karofsky kiss Kurt before?"
Blaine shook his head, "I never caught him in the act, no. I just saw Karofsky leave the bathroom and Kurt was inside… There were signs, but Kurt denied everything."
"Do you think he went back to class?"
Blaine shrugged tensely, "Let me call him." He took out his phone and dialed Kurt's number, cursing when it went to voice mail.
A timid freshman boy walked into the restroom then. Puck didn't even look at the kid, he just pointed to the door, "Unless you want a swirly, fuck off." The poor boy ran out just like that. "I shouldn't have left him alone…"
Blaine shook his head, "Let's just go check to see if he's in his class." He offered, heading down the hall with Puck to find Kurt.
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"Thanks." Kurt pocketed the drugs and walked away, popping the cap and taking three. Kurt was glad that he'd insisted on taking his car to school separate from Blaine for some since of normalcy. Now he was able to leave instead of wait for Blaine. It wasn't that he didn't want to see him, it was that he knew that Blaine would be able to tell something was different with him since he'd gotten his pills. He figured he'd send Blaine a text once he got back to the house just so he knew that Kurt was alright… or at least that he was safe. He just couldn't face going to his last classes, especially with the fact that Karofsky was in one of them.
Kurt pulled into the Anderson's driveway and cut the engine, just sitting there in the warmth of his car for a moment. The weightless feeling was pulling at his senses, as he got out of the car and drifted to the front door. Blaine had given him an extra key, so he went straight inside.
He heard a loud clatter followed by a high-pitched scream. Kurt whipped around, stumbling slightly as his vision fought to keep up, just in time to see a half naked woman rushing down the hall, her bottle dyed blond hair flipping behind her. Kurt should have left, he should have done something, but the drugs had dulled his senses, making his moves lethargic. Mr. Anderson stomped into the front room where Kurt was still dumbly standing, his salt and pepper hair sticking up at all angles. His hazel eyes were alight with rage, "You!" His body finally caught up with his mind, letting him back away from the older man who was steadily advancing on him, clenching and unclenching his fists, "What the hell are you doing in my house?" He gritted out.
Kurt blinked rapidly, trying to formulate the correct words in his head to keep him safe. Red flags were going off as he stared at the elder Anderson and he knew he had to get out of there, and soon. "Blaine gave me a k-key so that I could get something I left before…" He said, edging towards the stairs that led to Blaine's room.
Blaine's father let out a sigh that was halfway to a growl before pointing a finger upstairs, "Hurry up." Kurt nodded, trying his hardest to not trip as he ascended the stairs, "And don't touch anything that isn't yours!" He called up the steps.
Kurt went into Blaine's room and stood there for a moment, not knowing what he should do. He was sure Mr. Anderson would be waiting for him downstairs, expecting to see Kurt coming down with something of his. Kurt went over and pulled out one of his shirts from the drawer of the dresser Blaine had cleaned out for him before walking out. Mr. Anderson tightened his robe as Kurt walked past him, keeping his eyes on his back until Kurt walked out the door.
Now, he could either go back to school or go back to his house… Neither sounded like something he wanted to do. Since Mr. Anderson had come home early from his business trip, he wouldn't be able to stay at Blaine's house anymore. Kurt got into his Navigator and pulled out of the driveway, following the familiar roads to his own house. Finn and Carole's cars were in the driveway, so he knew it would be more of an ordeal with him coming back, but he had nowhere else to go. Putting on a brave face, Kurt walked up the steps and put his hand on the knob. For a split second, he considered knocking, but instead he went straight in and announced his presence, "Finn? Carole?" He was immediately assaulted with the scent of lavender air freshener as he walked further into the now unfamiliar house. Everything was the same and yet, it wasn't… His father's favorite recliner still sat in front of the television with the same throw blanket lying on top of it, but the presence of home was not there. His dad was not there. The fact that he no longer felt at home in his own house made him physically sick.
Carole came bustling around the corner, untying her hair as she spotted him, "Kurt, you're home!" She exclaimed, a grin forming on her face as she walked over and pressed a kiss to his cheek. Kurt plastered on a warm smile because that is what was expected.
Finn came around the corner, looking like he hadn't slept in a while. The second he saw Kurt, his eyes lit up just slightly, "Hey, dude." He greeted. Kurt gave a half smile as a response. He hated that he felt so uncomfortable, but playing pretend around Finn and Blaine was harder than it was for anyone else… Finn shuffled over, "You wanna play Xbox or something?" He questioned, rubbing at the back of his neck.
"I think I'm just going to head to my room." Kurt walked past him, feeling the overwhelming emotions pressing against his throat. The codeine he'd gotten wasn't working as it usually did, keeping him in a numbing state. All it had done was throw off his coordination…
Kurt knew Carole was still downstairs, so he decided to go into… well it was just her room now. He opened the closet where his father kept his clothes only to see everything gone, stuffed into three large trash bags on the floor of the closet. A sob broke out without warning as he saw all of his dad's things stored away. Sitting on the highest shelf was one of his dad's baseball caps. Kurt stood on his toes and grabbed the brim, pulling it down and carefully cradling close to his chest. He brought the hat into his room and closed his door before falling on his bed and allowing the tears to flow freely. Kurt traced the letters embroidered into the cap, 'NYADA'. It was always his dream to go there, so his dad had gone out and bought a hat with the school's acronym on it. He brought it to his face and breathed in his father's scent, committing it to memory for soon, the smell would be faded and he would no longer be able to breathe it in. Kurt took the hat and put it on his dresser before walking into the bathroom, turning on his iPod dock as he went.
The ache in his chest was worse than it's ever felt. Each breath he took was harder than the next. The oxygen snaked down his throat with each breath, burning like acid to fill his constricting lungs. His legs began to wobble dangerously as he continued to take in deep, gasping breaths, which quickly escalated into broken sobs. His eyes were dry as he watched himself fall apart in the mirror. There was almost a disconnect in his brain as he saw the boy in the mirror double over, as if in pain. He knew that who he was looking at was himself, but it was strange… As he looked in the mirror, the pale boy looked to be in immense physical pain, though it was the emotional turmoil that caused him to fall to his knees, no longer able support his own weight. As his mind began to slowly pull away, Kurt's body moved on muscle memory alone. He reached into the cabinet below the sink and grabbed the small black box from the very back. Opening the box, he pinched out a small, silver blade and immediately pressed it to the underside of his forearm. He hissed at the familiar sting as the sharp edge sliced through his alabaster skin. The blood beaded up to the surface and trailed down his arm at a glacier pace, steadily dripping to the floor.
He heard a knock at the door and he tensed, keeping the blade pressed to his skin, parallel to his first cut. "Kurt?" Carole's sweet voice came through the door.
Kurt cleared his throat, "Yes?" He was proud of himself for keeping his voice so steady.
"Finn and I are going to the grocery store, did you want to come or stay here?" She asked, oblivious to the fact that her stepson was mere feet away, tearing away at his skin.
"I'll stay." He said shortly, hoping she'd leave soon.
"Alright. We'll be back in about an hour."
Kurt waited until he heard the door downstairs pull shut before digging the blade in deeper.
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"Damn it, Kurt. Answer the phone!" He spoke angrily to himself. He hadn't bothered going to the rest of his classes as he ran out into the parking lot. The first thing he noticed was the blatant empty spot next to his car where a large, black Navigator should have been parked. Blaine had tried calling the house phone while he was still inside the school only to find out from his father, who shouldn't have even been home, that Kurt had come there and then left. He got inside his car and sped off to the Hummel-Hudson house, figuring Kurt might have gone there.
Blaine pulled into the driveway and saw that Kurt's Navigator was parked in the driveway. He sighed in relief as he got out of his car and went to knock on the front door. After getting no response, he rang the doorbell and knocked once more. Frowning, he tested the knob only to see that it was unlocked. He walked inside, "Hello?" Receiving no answer besides loud music, he went up the stairs to Kurt's room.
Am I the only one I know
Waging my wars behind my face and above my throat
Shadows will scream that I'm alone
"Kurt?"
I've got a migraine
And my pain will range from up down and sideways
Thank God it's Friday
'Cause Fridays will always be better than Sundays
'Cause Sunday's are my suicide days
There was a muffled sound causing Blaine's blood to run cold.
I don't know why they always seem so dismal
Thunderstorms, cloud, snow, and a slight drizzle
Whether it's the weather or the letters by my bed
Sometimes death seems better than the migraine in my head
"Kurt!" He opened Kurt's door and rushed in, turning to see the bathroom door shut.
Let it be said what the headache represents
It's me defending in suspense
It's me suspended in a defenseless
Test being tested by a ruthless examiner
That's represented best by my depressing thoughts
Blaine shoved the door open, his eyes widening at the sight before him. Kurt was curled up on the bloodied tile, tears and blood smeared on his face as he let out gasping sobs.
I do not have writers block
My writer just hates the clock
It will not let me sleep, I'll get some sleep when I'm dead
And sometimes death seems better than the migraine in my head
He had something in his hands that he was trying to pry open, but his blood-covered hands were too slick. "God-" Blaine got down to Kurt's level, "Baby, what did you do?"
Am I the only one I know
Waging my wars behind my face and above my throat
Shadows will scream that I'm alone
But I know we've made it this far, kid
Yeah, yeah, yeah
His voice coming out more accusing than he'd planned, but he was so scared…
I am not as fine as I seem pardon
Me for yelling I'm telling you green gardens
Are not what's growing in my psyche
It's a different me
A difficult to be, stop feasting lumber down trees
Freeze frame
Kurt let out a whimper, "Can't get it open!" He cried, struggling with the cap of an orange medicine bottle. Blaine immediately shot his hand out and pried the bottle from his boyfriend's grasp eliciting a scream from Kurt, "No!" Blaine's throat constricted as Kurt desperately tried to get the bottle back.
Please let me paint a mental picture portrait
Something you won't forget, it's all about my forehead
Deny what is important, holds back contents
That make Pandora's box contents' look non-violent
Ignoring his boyfriend's pleas, he popped open the cap and poured the pills into the toilet before flushing it.
Behind my eyelids are islands of violence
My mind shipwrecked, this is the only land my mind could find
I did not know it was such a violent island
Full of tidal waves, suicidal crazed lions
They're trying to eat me blood running down their chin
And they know that I can fight or I can let the lion win
I begin to assemble what weapons I can find
Cause sometimes to stay alive you gotta kill your mind
"What did you do?" Kurt screamed, hysterically pounding his fists against Blaine's chest. He's never seen Kurt so far gone.
Am I the only one I know
Waging my wars behind my face and above my throat
Shadows will scream that I'm alone
But I know we've made it this far, kid
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt, attempting to restrain the boy from hurting himself anymore. "Please, baby. God, Kurt…"
And I will say that we should take a day to break away
From all the pain our brain has made
The game is not played alone
And I will say that we should take a moment and hold it
And keep it frozen and know that life has a hopeful undertone
"'m sorry, Blaine… I'm s-so sorry." Kurt cried against Blaine's chest, shuddering with the intensity of his sobs. Blaine pulled away and grabbed a wad of toilet paper, blotting the drying blood. It didn't look like Kurt would need any stitches, so he wrapped the cuts with gauze that was under the sink.
And I will say that we should take a day to break away
From all the pain our brain has made
The game is not played alone
And I will say that we should take a moment and hold it
And keep it frozen and know that life has a hopeful undertone
"Please just tell me you weren't trying to… to k-kill yourself." Blaine asked, staring into Kurt's deep blue eyes, "Tell me the truth."
"I wasn't." Kurt said and he could see that the pale boy was not lying. Blaine let out a sob of relief, pulling Kurt close and kissing him deeply. He wanted to show Kurt how much he loved him. The other boy responded in earnest. He could taste the saltiness of both of their tears.
Blaine pulled away, letting his forehead rest against Kurt's, "I love you so much." He breathed, "Please, please don't do this to yourself again… Please. For me?" He begged. Blaine didn't know what he would have done if he was too late, if Kurt had taken those pills…
"For you." Kurt said hesitantly but with more strength in his voice as he tilted his head forward to press a chaste kiss to Blaine's lips, "For you." He repeated.
Am I the only one I know
Waging my wars behind my face and above my throat
Shadows will scream that I'm alone
But I know we've made it this far, kid
We've made it this far, we've made it this
==========================gLee============================
Sorry for the wait, but I hope this chapter made up for it! Please let me know what you thought! :)
Go to my profile and vote to get a say in what I write next! (Disenchanted Sequel, Superhero!Kurt, or Selective Mute!Kurt)
Song used in this chapter: Twenty One Pilots – Migraine