You can thank writer-4ever-and-always for reminding me I had this lying around Ready?

Everybody all at once:

THAANK YOU, W4EaA!

"Shit," Columbus breathed into the chill morning hair, watching almost resentfully as his breath vanished. Below him, Yellowstone national park sprawled outward in the same exact view he'd watched carefully for zombies. It was blissfully empty now, except for the dim, hazy fog that hovered over the top of the forest.

It was, in all regards, a beautiful morning. Columbus was disgusted with it.

"Whelp," Wichita said, her head suddenly appearing just over the edge of the platform and smirking up at him as he jumped a foot in the air and nearly toppled backwards. "I see you've finally caught up with what should've been obvious."

He made a nondescript noise that could have either of been agreement or an insult. Wichita gracefully took the former option but not without a sound, quick punch to Columbus' shoulder. "Basically, your plan was decent enough in that it solved immediate concerns," she continued on. This was a side of Wichita rarely seen and greatly hated. She lectured. Lectured like she wasn't the one who typically made plans that—"didn't really think far enough into the future—"

"Yes, I get it," Columbus snapped and threw his arms up. Usually his plans were more long term and covered all the bases, when he was on his own he'd have nearly every minute of every day obsessively planned before he even left shelter. "Did you find us a ride or not?"

She leveled him with a droll look, an eyebrow arching smoothly upward. Columbus often found himself envying Wichita for her eyebrows, less for the way that they seemed to convey utter abhorrence with a simple twitch and more that they seemed to grow in perfect, neat half-circles naturally.

"I did, actually," she huffed and tossed her hair over her shoulder, hands placing themselves firmly on her hips.

"But?"

Wichita blinked. "But what?"

"I heard a but coming." He made a vague gesture somewhere at her boobs.

She stared at him blankly. "There aren't any buts."

An awkward moment descended upon them and Columbus immediately hated himself for inspiring it. He grew to regret it even more as he watched Wichita's face go from 'amused at the social awkward penguin' to something that was a mixture between curious and determined. He didn't like it, not directed at him at least.

As her mouth opened, he immediately held up his hand. "Whatever you're going to say, I don't want to know." He made sure to say each word with as much emphasis and weight as he possibly could. It didn't work.

"I was just going to ask if you and Tallahassee had ever…" she lets the sentence trail off, her white teeth biting into her bottom lip. Wichita implied the hesitation to say whatever she meant, whether it be 'buttsex' or 'anal' or the more acute, 'let him put it in you.' (Which implied that Columbus is automatically the obvious one to be on the receiving end. And while, sure, he knew it was true but he still disillusioned himself towards denial in that they hadn't ever gotten that far to tell yet.) Despite her coy, cute dancing around the subject ways, Columbus knew full well Wichita was capable of throwing out such crude euphemisms without a second thought.

He looked at her, really looked at her. Long enough she started to actually look less confident about her clever way of trying to embarrass him that clearly wasn't working. And then, he struck.

"Are so desperate to get some that you have to live vicariously through me?"

Wichita's mouth opened again, in a shocked 'o,' and her eyes were wide enough to match. Columbus felt proud of himself.

"So he has fucked you," she said finally, breathy and quiet and crushing the pride Columbus felt quite neatly under her fluttering ashes and licked lips.

Okay, Columbus thought wearily, not entirely like my sister. He scowled, finally making his face muscles work, but it was too late and the seed of untruth had woven itself firmly into Wichita's reality. She was smirking again and her eyebrow was perfectly arched and just being all around insufferable. As Wichita disappeared down the ladder again, Columbus looked over his shoulder to catch the ass end of the sunrise. He reflected, in that brief minute, that the dusky pink of the sky that lined the distant horizon was just the same colour as Tallahassee's nipples and that perhaps not thinking far enough ahead in his plans for transportation wasn't the only fatal flaw in his plan.

A rock hit his knee and he turned around, looking down over at the girl nearly fifty feet below who was smiling and beautiful and a pain in his ass. Things were starting to look awry.

In the next part, there might be some Tallahassee and Little Rock badassery.

Depends. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE?

More of this strange dance between Wichita and Columbo? OR Columbo staring whimsically at scenery some more?

YOU DECIDE!