Happy New Years!

Thanks for reading, as always!

And the reviewers! You make me particularly happy! I don't always expect some of your reactions, specifically about different characters and/or pairing speculation. There's been quite a bit of pairing speculation actually, and it's so, so fun to see what you think or want to see happen ^.^ I'm still fairly new around here, so the whole process is fun (even when I'm stressing over nothing)! I just hit my 2 month mark in the fanfiction realm, so yeah. Y'all are great, I can't say it enough- I'm so grateful that people are taking the time to read and respond to the chapters.

For those of you with questions about Angeal…I'm not ignoring you- I have a hunch you'll get answers in time.

Chapter Twelve

"Seph!" The general gently pushed Lazard's hand away, opting to shake his head instead of speaking. It was at least his third attempt, and he still hadn't quite gotten the message. They were in Lazard's office this time, and the director had all but sprinted to the door to begin his advances- he wasn't having any luck. "We agree that none of this is either of our fault, so why are we the ones being punished? It's been over a week!"

Over a week since recording devices were found in Sephiroth's personal office. Over a week since he had gathered them into a box, thrown them on Lazard's desk, and demanded he investigate the issue. Over a week since he had said no sex until the source was discovered.

How could he be sure who was watching or why?

The general still hadn't forgotten the look on Lazard's face that day- it was all the confirmation he needed to know that the director had nothing to do with the devices. Still, he had to be clear- between ShinRa and the fanclubs, privacy was difficult to come by. His office was supposed to be one of the few places he could go without being monitored. It needed to be secure, and if that meant giving the director incentive to hurry up and investigate, he was fine with that.

Not to mention the fact that it had turned out his office wasn't the only one being monitored. Lazard's office was among those on the list that had been hit, and so it made little sense to engage in any sexual activity in either location until there were some answers. Their personal apartments didn't appear to be affected, but that was irrelevant as far as the general was concerned.

There were more important matters on his mind. A lot had happened since that day.

"Perhaps you feel punished. I feel fine."

Lazard's gaze narrowed skeptically, his hand extending between the general's legs and settling on what was becoming a more prominent erection. Just because he wasn't interested in the director's advances didn't mean his body wasn't. "Fine? You're telling me you don't to throw me down and give this to me? Because I'm about ready to try that on you at this point."

"It would be interesting to see you try. I would never allow anyone to touch me in a manner which I do not approve."

"You would approve. I'd make sure of it."

"Do you have news from the investigation?" he asked, grabbing the director by the wrist and guiding his hand away. "Otherwise this conversation is pointless."

"You know the latest," Lazard replied with a defeated sigh. "Likely terrorist organization. I think the Turks have it narrowed down to three." The general brushed past the director, moving across the office- it didn't seem appropriate to continue their discussion while standing near the door, closed or not. He began analyzing the explanation as he moved...the whole situation seemed off. It would be one thing to think terrorists could infiltrate the base, but his personal office? The offices of multiple executives? These were highly frequented areas. Patrolled buildings. They would have required assistance to accomplish such a task. "We haven't found any more in here...You've been searching your office since, I assume. Have you found more?"

"No," Sephiroth admitted, confident there hadn't been any recurrences yet. He had worked a thorough office sweep into his morning routine since the devices were discovered, and continued to do so every time he left and re-entered the room. "I do not believe they would risk trying again. I made the mistake of mentioning my suspicions before I had searched the outer office, so there is a chance they are being cautious as a result."

"Your privacy is secure then!" He was walking as he spoke, a bit too eager in his approach. "Seph, there's no reason we-"

"I came here to discuss Commander Fair, not to talk in circles about a decision that is not up for debate."

Lazard came to a halt upon hearing these words, crossing his arms as he eyed the general. "Is that what this is really about?"

"I just said-"

"No, I get that's why you're here, but is that the real reason you're still holding out on me? You're mad that I wouldn't replace him, aren't you?"

Sephiroth narrowed his eyes. He wasn't mad, but he certainly wasn't happy either. "It would be the appropriate thing to do."

"No, it's not. That entire term of cadets is scoring higher than any in the last five years, and you know he has something to do with it! If I had it my way, he'd never go back to field duty- he's the kind of instructor we need to get the best out of these kids. Maybe there was a problem with one cadet, but as a unit, that class is being set up for success by him," Lazard insisted, moving a hand to his hip as he tried not to let Sephiroth's stare deter him. "I know he's close to you, but you can't act like this doesn't happen all the time! Instructors play favorites. You can't hold Fair to a higher moral standard just because you like him."

For a moment they just continued to stare at one another in silence. It wasn't often they disagreed so completely on a work related issue. They each had areas they understood better than the other, and usually respected each other's opinions enough to compromise. This matter had become an unresolved issue between them though, and one neither seemed willing to budge on.

"That is exactly why I can hold him to a higher standard," Sephiorth said finally, shaking his head just slightly. "You also seem to forget he was not playing favorites, he was playing least favorite. There is a difference."

"No, Seph, there's not," Lazard insisted. "This program makes SOLDIERs- it's not some private academy for pampered rich kids. The weak need to be weeded out, and you know it."

"Strife is not weak. He's on top in every single class aside from-"

"What good is a SOLDIER who can't perform well in combat?" Lazard interjected, frowning at the general.

"Do you truly believe an unenhanced could last so long in combat against a 1st Class SOLDIER without being at least somewhat capable? His marks are not an accurate reflection of his capabilities in that course. You seem to also forget there is more to being a SOLDIER than fighting. He could outperform most 3rd Classes with materia, not to mention he has a natural gift for strategy and-"

"You looked into the kid?"

"I would not assign anyone to Genesis without looking at the file."

"That's more than you can get from a file," Lazard said pointedly.

"I spoke with his instructors," Sephiroth admitted, not bothered by the director's surprise. It wasn't like him to show special interest in a cadet, but the entire situation was atypical. "We have a responsibility to act when a SOLDIER behaves inappropriately."

"I want to be on your side about this, but by the book he did nothing wrong. My hands are tied."

"So were mine. I still managed to do something about it."

"And you shouldn't have. There aren't enough SOLDIERs to have one babysitting his class-"

Sephiroth raised both brows just slightly, but enough for Lazard to notice. "Are you certain you wish to discuss this?"

"Seph, I'm not speaking to you as a friend, or as a boyfriend- I'm speaking to you as the Director of SOLDIER. You report to me. You can't-"

He cut himself off, realizing in a hurry he had taken the wrong tone and chosen the wrong words. The damage was already done though. Sephiroth had straightened where he was standing, and even though his expression didn't change, the director shrunk back instinctively.

"Perhaps I should speak to you as General then," Sephiroth concluded. "I am not a glorified secretary. I do not simply do as you request without thought, or mindlessly hand out the assignments in the manner which you recommend. I know my men better than you do. If I choose to assign one of my SOLDIERs to supervise a class, then that is what will happen. If you have a problem with this, I suggest you demote me. I would rather return to field duty anyway- I've made this abundantly clear on numerous occasions."

Regret was etched onto the director's face, but it wasn't enough to change the mood in the room. "You know I can't do that. Seph, I-"

"If you had actually read my report, you would know that I requisitioned a Turk for the task, not a SOLDIER. Rufus approved it days ago. It turns out Commander Fair has become quite popular outside of ShinRa. His reputation reflects well on the company, so they would prefer this incident remain a one time thing."

Lazard opened his mouth, but seemed to know better than to respond this time. Sephiroth had moved from his desk already, done with this meeting. The director kept a safe distance as the door opened, trying to will the general to look at him- he didn't though. Sephiroth didn't need to turn to speak the last words that he needed the director to hear.

"I may report to you, but never make the mistake of believing you are my superior."

o.o.o.o.o

Just another lap.

That was what he had told himself three laps ago, but it still didn't seem to be enough. His fitness class usually started with eight laps around the track, so really…what was a few more during his free time? The burning in his chest hadn't begun yet and he could still feel his legs, so he knew it was fine- he knew he could push further, push faster than he ever had if he just kept going…

Just another lap.

The panting had begun two laps before. Even Nerro had given up running by his side at that point, and his roommate was more into fitness than anyone else in their class. He was more of a weight lifting guy, Cloud figured, so it wasn't so strange that he could run a bit longer. Running was his thing- people could call him a runt all day, but they couldn't tell him he was slow. They couldn't run as far or as fast. Usually distance and speed runs were two separate things, but that difference had been blurred from the start.

"Cloud, that's enough!"

He ignored the shout, recognizing his roommate's voice from the benches as he pressed forward. Everything did feel a bit strange now…and his pace had decreased involuntarily despite the fact that everything around him felt like it was moving faster.

Just another lap.

A pain in his knee was a warning to stop, and perhaps one he had been trying to ignore for one lap too many. He rounded the starting point one last time before slowing his pace, gradually allowing his heart rate catch up a bit before coming to a complete stop.

Maybe there had been a burning in his chest after all. He felt it now that he was done, still panting as he bent over and rested his hands on his knees. His eyes fell to the benches where his roommate had been, but it seemed Nerro was no longer there- all that remained was his water bottle, and as soon as he could, he intended to go retrieve it. He just couldn't move yet. Not without fear of falling- his legs were incredibly wobbly all of a sudden, and the sensation was a welcomed relief.

When his legs were wobbly, and there was a sharp pain…that was when he knew he'd pushed it hard enough. That was when he knew he'd hit a moment- a short window in his day where he was tired enough. Exhausted wouldn't be the right word. He knew what exhaustion meant now and this was nothing in comparison...but it resembled exhaustion, almost. Just enough that all the thoughts crowding his mind would quiet down for a bit. It was a small period of his day where he could just stop thinking…stop worrying…while his body was arguing with him, nothing else mattered.

At this point he was willing to try anything to reclaim his mind.

"Hmm, this position could certainly work."

He hadn't even heard anyone approaching. As far as he knew, it had just been he and his roommate, opting to use the old outdoor track instead of the one that surrounded the indoor gym. The lap markers were worn down and there were cracks in its surface...No one bothered with it because the indoor track was so well kept. That was the point though. He'd wanted to be alone- away from prying eyes and unwanted questions.

Of course they wouldn't know about the subject he was trying so desperately to forget, but they would wonder why he was spending so much of his free time there. That in itself was an unpleasant reminder. Having Nerro tag along was bad enough- he only allowed it because his roommate was stubborn.

It took a moment for the voice to register in his mind, and another moment for the words to process. It was a voice he had missed, and one that made him wish he hadn't burned quite so much energy away. Before he could react to it, hands were on his hips, causing him to jump up- not in surprise, but in acknowledgement. The touch seemed to give him just enough adrenaline to spin around before he fell into arms that caught him just in time.

He was dizzy from the rapid movement, but managed to play it off as if he'd tripped. It only felt natural to wrap his arms around Genesis at that point, and his mentor didn't seem to mind. Everything was gradually slowing down, steadied by the familiar arms that had wrapped around him. This was what he needed- more than a track, more than a good night's sleep. Several minutes passed like this, and somewhere during that time the window in his day began to close. Luckily his mind was filling with thoughts of the man in front of him rather than the frustrations he was trying to forget. There were other concerns that came along with his return, but mostly...Cloud was relieved to have his mentor back.

"You know...you're sweatier than usual, and it's almost as attractive as I imagined," Genesis teased, a hand sneaking up to ruffle the spiky locks that had become somewhat tamed from the dampness.

Cloud pulled back just a bit, looking down at himself before looking back to his mentor apologetically. It had definitely been more than one lap too many- his shirt was saturated too. "Sorry."

"I was bound to see you like this eventually," he said, winking at the boy. When he seemed stable enough on his feet, the SOLDIER released him entirely, watching curiously as he swayed a bit. "How long have you been out here?"

"Um…a while I guess," he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

"I don't have any materia with me," Genesis said, frowning as he reached into his pocket. He pulled out an object the boy recognized, tossing it to him without pause. "Drink it."

"Gen!" he groaned, clutching the it in his hand. It would be counterproductive to drink a potion at this point. "I'm fine."

"You look like you're about ready to fall over, Blondie." He crossed his arms, staring pointedly at the boy until conceded, opening the small bottle and forcing it down. "Do you need to sit down?" He shook his head, feeling too good now- he much preferred the natural phenomena of feeling better in his mentor's presence to the rejuvenation he felt now. "Don't you run in one of your classes?"

"I've just been trying to stay busy while you were gone." It wasn't a complete lie- more of a half truth. Yes, he wanted to clear his head...but his day to day was dull when he couldn't spend his mornings with Genesis. Studying could only occupy him for so long, and it was difficult to focus on textbooks lately. "How'd you know I was here?"

"I told you I'd find you first thing…I went to your room and your roommate said you'd be here." Cloud frowned, wondering how long it'd actually been since Nerro left. It seemed like it had only been a few minutes, but if he made it all the way back to their room, he must have walked off long before he even noticed. "Something about 'thank the Goddess you're back, Commander Rhapsodos, he's lost his mind without you'…What exactly does that mean, Blondie? Did you miss me that much?"

"Of course I missed you! Nerro's just exaggerating though. He thinks I'm pushing myself too much, but it's just a couple extra laps!" Something about the suspicious look in his mentor's eyes told him this explanation wasn't sufficient, but he didn't want to elaborate. Another half truth seemed in order. "I didn't have training with you, so I had all this extra energy!"

"He said you were in the gym more too…That wasn't the only odd part," Genesis noted, shaking his head. "Apparently you have all this energy to run and exercise, but can't seem to make it to your combat course. Why is that?"

His expression hardened, matching his resolve. He hadn't gone back to class since his one-on-one, and if he had it his way, he never would. It wasn't a subject he wanted to discuss though, and just trying to find the words was painful. He had built a delicate wall around the emotions he'd felt that day, and it was only a matter of time before it crumbled if he opened up about it so soon. It couldn't feel as bad as it had that day...but even a fraction of that seemed like it would be too much to deal with again.

It felt like wishful thinking, but he had to at least try to delay this conversation. Genesis was back...this was his chance to be a in good mood, legitimately, for the first time since it had happened. He couldn't let Commander Fair take that away from him too. He didn't want to see pity in eyes that looked so much better when they were filled with amusement.

"Gen, can we…just this once, can we talk about it later?" he asked slowly.

"You're supposed to be able to tell me anything, remember? I haven't been gone that long."

It wasn't entirely shocking when his mentor wasn't convinced so easily. The slight offense in his tone only made Cloud feel worse.

"I know, and I will tell you, just…please? You're back, and I just want..." to be happy for a minute.

He held back the thought, knowing it would only prompt his mentor to prod him further. Genesis already looked torn, and he didn't want to fuel his curiosity any further.

"Just this one time," he relented, not seeming pleased by the idea of it. "You'll have to tell me before we train tomorrow though, and you're going to have to start going to class. My cadet doesn't skip unless I'm dragging him somewhere, and a track definitely won't be my first choice."

Cloud dropped his gaze entirely, fixating on one of the cracks in the surface below his feet. "Technically I had permission."

"I'm fairly certain no one has that kind of authority," Genesis told him, arching an eyebrow. "Missing a day or two is one thing, but a week?"

"Commander Fair told me not to come back until I figured out what my dreams were, and I'm still thinking it over."

Over and over…and over. His cursed the unwanted commentary in his mind, almost ready to take off for one more lap no matter what his mentor had to say about it. Genesis seemed to notice how uncomfortable the boy was growing, which didn't help. The questions didn't need to be voiced...they were just lingering in the air between them, souring the mood.

"Dreams?" the SOLDIER repeated, shaking his head at the word. "Angeal really did rub off on him...I doubt he was speaking literally though. Instructors can't send you away indefinitely."

"He'd be glad if I never went back."

That seemed to have pushed Genesis to the edge of his patience. "Blondie...I need you to explain. I thought the two of you were working it out?"

"You agreed already. I'll tell you tomorrow."

"You know, Angeal and I talked a lot about all this mentor business, and he told me I didn't know anything about tough love. Was he right?"

"No!" Cloud exclaimed, finally looking up. It was a relief to see Genesis didn't seem annoyed at least- just bemused. "I just-"

"Or was it rough love?" he pondered, a hand on his chin. "Surely I know something about that. We could work on it together, if you really don't want to tell me!"

The boy smiled begrudgingly, wondering how he had ended up with such a strange mentor. "I'd rather agree to that then-"

"What did he do to you?" Genesis pressed, half teasing as he eyed the boy. "You wouldn't play along with that joke unless-" He cut himself off, eyes narrowing in a hurry. By the time his hand landed on the cadet's shoulder he was looking too serious for either of their liking. "What did he do?"

"You said we could talk later!"

"Mentor privilege!" he declared, as if it were a technical term. "I'm allowed to change my mind about these things. Today, tomorrow- it's not going to matter when you tell me. You may as well get it over with."

Cloud blinked, trying to hold his ground, but gradually failing. He'd learned the day they met that Genesis wasn't the type to just let things go, so it felt pointless to keep stalling...he had to try though, at least one more time. It was his first chance to be at ease in too many days, and it would be ruined if he caved in about this.

"I'd rather go to a fan club meeting than talk about it right now," Cloud said firmly, hoping to lure the SOLDIER into teasing him instead. It was a bad attempt- the perceptive stare he was receiving was unwavering still. "You should ask the general later, and we can just train, or-"

"Seph knows, but you can't tell me?" he asked incredulously.

"You told me to go to him if I needed anything while you were gone."

"And what did you need from him?"

"To get moved out of Commander Fair's class."

"And now you're running laps instead of going to class. I assume he told you no, then?" The boy nodded in affirmation. "What could he have possibly done that made you want to switch courses at this point?"

"Everything! I'm just sick of it all." Cloud closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to contain the feelings welling up inside him. His wall was going to break if Genesis asked again- he couldn't keep dodging the subject. By the time he opened his eyes and exhaled he was ready to plead. "I can't go back."

"I'm the first one to ignore the rules around here, but if you aren't going to class you could get removed from the program entirely."

"I don't care," he insisted, choking on the words.

His heart ached from the admission. Joining SOLDIER was all he had ever wanted. The look on his mentor's face only amplified the pain he felt, but it didn't make his words less true. It was beginning to feel like all his ideas about SOLDIER, SOLDIERs, the program...all of it, everything he had thought or expected- it had all been a lie or fantasy. 1st Classes were supposed to be SOLDIER's finest, and Zack Fair was supposed to be the 1st Class' nicest. What did that say about the rest of them?

Genesis...he didn't really count. He was in a class all his own, far beyond the boundaries of anyone's expectations. "You don't mean that," he said, confidence in his soft tone.

"Yes, I do. You're the best thing about this place, and I'm just a project to you."

"Project?"

Cloud nodded his head pathetically, not even able to look at the SOLDIER anymore. It was another subject that had weighed on his mind- something that had become impossible to ignore in Genesis' absence. He wasn't even making progress after all their sessions, apparently...what was the point? Whatever Genesis got out of their sessions seemed like it might just be a temporary form of entertainment.

"You just put up with me because you're bored. You told me yourself, if Commander Hewley weren't gone, you'd never have-"

"If...if he hadn't gone, I may never have found you. But he did go. I have you now, and I'm keeping you," Genesis told him simply, stepping in closer as he spoke. A hand on his chin tilted his head up, but he closed his eyes before allowing himself to lock onto Genesis' gaze. There was no way he could hide his worries if their eyes met, and he couldn't take any more questions. He could feel his mentor's stare though, and the warm breath grazing his face. "I don't do projects."

"What am I then?" he asked, with disbelief rather than curiosity.

There was no reply. It took a few minutes in awkward silence for the boy to open his eyes, tentatively meeting his mentor's. It seemed Genesis was searching for the answer himself, meeting his eyes immediately. He'd already taken enough hits to his confidence...What if he were right? His heart plummeted further at the thought, and the silence did nothing to cushion the fall. There was no good reason for someone like Genesis Rhapsodos to put up with him.

"Stop doubting this. Not just me...stop doubting yourself," he said finally, as if it were so simple.

"That's not an answer, that's-" His words and apprehensions dissipated as Genesis' eyes flickered down.

Awareness was much easier to maintain when he wasn't lost in his mentor's eyes, and in that moment he realized how close they were standing. He had felt it, of course- the soft breathing on his face and the heat of a body nearby...It hadn't registered as anything of interest though.

They had been like this before, too many times to count- always too close for comfort. Somehow it had always been okay though, even the times when he felt anxious or embarrassed by onlookers. It was always a joke or a show for Genesis' entertainment- there was always some lesson...some justification for his strange behavior. This time though, there was no readily apparent reason for it. There was no audience. No cause for embarrassment or comment to draw attention to it.

This felt inexplicably different. Everything about the proximity was familiar and typical, but the sensation tearing through his body...that was new. The way his heart was racing...there was nothing normal about it.

"Genesis?" Cloud whispered, growing more alarmed by the second.

The SOLDIER's eyes snapped up upon hearing his name, but he seemed frozen otherwise. "Cloud..."

Hearing his name stirred something deep inside him that he couldn't quite identify, and it tugged on something instinctual. He found his eyes falling to his mentor's lips, drawn there by some innate fascination. He couldn't remember ever hearing his name leave those lips...or hearing anything in that tone. Before he could decipher any of it though, it was all torn away. Genesis took two large steps back, and Cloud inhaled a deep breath with each one. He hadn't even realized he was short of breath. His eyes were still wide as he stared at his mentor...if it hadn't been for his own abnormal heart beat, he would have thought he'd imagined the whole thing. Genesis looked as composed as always- cool, confident, and unaffected.

"I need to know what happened to you while I was gone," he said calmly, a moment after the cadet's heart rate had steadied.

"I don't wanna talk about that." He didn't know what he wanted to talk about, but he knew those words were true at least. "Gen..."

"If you won't tell me, I'll have to go get it out of him," the SOLDIER warned, offering a weak smile. "I get the feeling I'll have to talk to him about it either way." Cloud shook his head, not able to get out any other protest. None of that mattered anymore- he just didn't want Genesis to go yet. "I have to know, and it can't wait. I can't have you talking about not wanting to be here."

There were at least six questions that came to mind in response to this statement- long, specific questions. All he could manage was one word though. "Why?"

"Blondie...I don't wanna talk about that."

The weak smile faltered before he turned away entirely, his brisk stride taking him away far too quickly. Cloud watched him helplessly, too overwhelmed to follow. There were so many questions were flooding to the forefront of his mind- too many memories hanging in doubt. It seemed like Genesis was taking all the answers further away with every step...

"Gen, wait!"

Maybe it was spoken too quietly, or maybe he hadn't gotten the words out at all- he wasn't sure. All he knew was that Genesis didn't stop. The brief happiness and relief he had felt were gone. All of his previous concerns still present, but overshadowed by more pressing ones.

There was only one way he could think of to handle it all, and he was already in the right place. That potion had set him back nearly an hour, but...at least the pain in his knee was gone for now.

Just another lap.

A/N:

Two quick notes:

1. Once upon a time I was like 20 chapters ahead on this story, but then I started doing longer chapters and changed the direction a tiny bit, so I'm writing as I go now. I don't think it'll impact my update intervals, but you never know- seems right to give y'all a heads up just in case. Let's be honest, so far I fail at waiting, and I'm okay with that. This update was only delayed because...well...I'd like to blame the holidays, but I've posted so many random things lately that obviously I've been around. It's just difficult to focus and edit lately- posting nonsense is one thing, but I want to be careful with this. Sleep woes. If this one came across rushed or had too many typos, please let me know and I'll take more time/be more awake next time. Everything looks better when you're tired...pretty sure that's my slogan.

2. I'm gonna go put some toe socks on. Brrrr winter! Don't judge me. Reviews? Not about socks...about the story o.O

EDIT: 1/4/15- A few people sent me messages, so for anyone else harboring the same curiosities, let me just say...I am not a liar. I can't offer an elaborate reassurance or I'll spoil things, but there is a purpose for most of the things that may seem out of place or like filler.